How to change your character?
- As a rule, new character traits are most quickly and fully manifested in a person if they are similar to existing ones. After thirty years of age cardinal changes character are extremely rare. Yet it is never too late to change.
A person can always change character traits that he does not like. There are many methods for this, but they are all based on one thing: the desire to change must be internal and conscious.
good helper in a change of character will become systems approach. Write down on a separate sheet of character traits that you want to get rid of. Next to each trait, write how it manifests itself. Knowing this, it will be easier for you to control yourself and prevent actions that are unpleasant for you. The character of a person is created for a long time, it is difficult to get rid of unpleasant features, this requires painstaking and long work. But this is not impossible, and literally the first week is a particular difficulty. When control over the manifestation of the dark side of your character becomes a habit, it will become much easier to monitor your behavior. And very soon, what you did not like in your character will no longer complicate your life and communication with loved ones.
Also good results in changing your character gives a role model. Having chosen some sample (it can be either a real or a fictional person), you begin to equal him. And ask yourself what he would do in your place. By copying the desired behavior, you will also develop the right habits for yourself and minimize the manifestation of negative character traits. Here MirSovetov will make only such a remark: do not try to copy someone's behavior exactly as it is, superficially. Yes, and you probably won't. You need to understand that you are individual in your own way, and therefore some feature will appear with its own shade peculiar only to you. - Life itself will change it for you over time.
- Know yourself and you will know the world. There is such folk wisdom. Knowing yourself, your character, you can know another person. Knowing the nature of a person allows you to anticipate his behavior and correct his actions and deeds. And, therefore, be more effective in making decisions and interacting with other people.
On the one hand, life casts a person's character, and on the other hand, character leaves a seal on all a person's actions, his thoughts and feelings. Of course, a cowardly person can take a decisive action, and a polite person can break into rudeness. But still, we call decisive or rude only that person for whom such behavior is the norm, who almost always acts in this way.
But you can not only study your character, but also actively change it. The impact on other people will be as effective as possible only if you yourself meet the requirements that you place on others.
Let's explore our character a little.
In the system of relations, four groups of character traits are distinguished:
1. Character traits that indicate a person’s attitude to work (industriousness, laziness, initiative)
2. Character traits that indicate a person’s attitude to the team and society (sociability, sensitivity, callousness, rudeness)
3. Character traits that indicate a person’s attitude towards himself (modesty, vanity, self-criticism)
4. Character traits indicating a person’s attitude to things (neatness, thrift)
ATTENTION! Currently, experts have more than 15 thousand names of personality traits. They can also be character traits if they are clearly manifested in activity.
Let's write down the character traits you know in alphabetical order together.
For example:
A - ambition, altruism
B - thrift. Dishonesty Continue to the letter Y yourself.
Well, how does it work out? Look how many components. But! It is important to manage all this so that your weaknesses are not leading in your life.
Character is formed in behavior. And the motives of behavior are fixed in character. Therefore, the path of character formation lies through the formation of proper motives for behavior. And the same act can have several different motives.
You are doing a foreign language exercise. The goal is to memorize a certain number of words. What about motives?
Children answer: get a good mark, earn the teacher's approval, prepare for exams. It is the motives of activity that determine the program, productivity and character of a person. Therefore, if you want to influence your character, analyze it in terms of motives. Learn to properly evaluate your actions - learn to manage your behavior. In order for a person to have sufficient control over his behavior, he must have a developed will.
Will - the ability to overcome difficulties, perseverance in achieving the goal. The development of the will begins with the formation of strong-willed habits. After all, it is not for nothing that Eastern wisdom says: You sow an act - you reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; you sow a character, you reap a destiny. We've gone through this a thousand times already.
Consolidation.
Exercises for the development of will and character.
Walk. Leave the house and return exactly after a certain time. Permissible errors - 2 min.
Charger. Start charging
10 bombing tips from a psychologist that will help you change yourself for the better once and for all! Save yourself.
Think about it... We so often complain / whine about our lives: “the work is bad, colleagues are bastards, there are no real friends, the husband / wife is unloved (s), parents are tired of their moralizing, and even that fat woman with shopping bags in the corner of the minibus annoying with his tryndez on the phone!
We are indignant and complain about the injustice of such a fate, not wanting to realize that it is not at all in fate and not in our environment, but in ourselves!
Find out, how to change yourself better side , and your life will roll instead of a bumpy path along a flawless asphalt path.
How to change yourself for the better: or how I hate everyone
All 5 years, a girl Nastya studied with me in the same group.
She was (how would you better explain it?) - a fiend of Hell (here without exaggeration).
Worst person I'm probably in real life did not meet.
She came to couples in turn, sometimes with a sour, sometimes with an evil expression on her face, she loved to do nasty things, provoked scandals, humiliated the weak.
But what struck me the most was the confidence of a classmate that the world owed her a carload of happiness.
And the fact that until now he had not reached her was, according to Nastya, either an act of supreme injustice, or the intrigues of enemies.
Another paradox was that a classmate considered herself an excellent person whom people absolutely undeservedly avoid.
We didn’t even try to explain something to her, because it’s more expensive to get involved with such a person.
The clouds were thickening and thickening, but the real thunder broke out at a practical lesson, the theme of which was “ How to change yourself for the better».
Our teacher invited her friend, a colleague from another university, to lead it.
All our teachers were familiar with the peculiarities of Nastya's worldview and gave up on her for a long time, they say, “Study is good, the rest is her business,” but the invited guest was not.
Therefore, she was very surprised when the girl began to prove to her that she did not need to improve anything in herself.
The teacher did not agree, and the rather emotional dialogue ended with Nastya's cry: “How I hate you all! I'm so unhappy because of you!"
Whom the young lady had in mind, they did not specify.
I don’t know how her life turned out today, we all crossed ourselves with relief when it was no longer necessary to see her every day, but I don’t think it’s too happy, because the young lady never knew how to learn from her mistakes.
How to change yourself for the better: why is it so difficult?
Certainly, main reason on which we continue to stay not too good people- non-recognition of the problem. As in the situation with Nastya, who is firmly convinced of her own infallibility.
All the difficulties, the wary attitude towards us from those around us, the rejection of the team, conflicts, etc., we attribute to anything: bad people, coincidence, fate, so the stars converged, etc.
It is much easier for us to blame someone else than to honestly say to ourselves and others: “Yes, I am a bad person (or a person who leads the wrong way of life), but I promise to improve and will do everything to change yourself for the better!»
If you're waiting for someone to accept you "just the way you are", then you're just a lazy asshole. Because, as a rule, “such as it is” is a sad sight. Change, bitch. Work on yourself. Or die alone.
Faina Ranevskaya
Other reasons why we continue to be snugly embraced by our delusions are:
Life difficulties.
For some, fate does not give too many trials, but for someone - in abundance.
The greatest skill is to endure all trials without becoming embittered against the whole world.
Weakness.
At any conflict situation try to calm your rage, and then, after a sober look at it, decide whether you need to continue to take part in the scandal or it is better to leave.
The same applies to other negative emotions: jealousy, envy, selfishness, etc.
When changing character and habits, do not forget about appearance.
Unwashed hair, dirty nails and extra pounds do not color even the most good person.
Before you start blaming someone else for a problem, take a look at your own behavior.
In most cases, we ourselves are the culprit of the problems.
Be sure to watch a positive, and most importantly useful cartoon about
that all the problems lie in our heads!
Work on your thoughts and life will change in no time! 😉
Naturally, reading the article " How to change yourself for the better? will not help you suddenly wake up completely different and, most importantly, a great person.
Ahead of you are waiting for months, and even years of hard work and self-control.
But just imagine how wonderful your life will be if you become much better yourself.
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Before developing ingenious strategies, reading psychoanalysis manuals, find out for yourself what exactly is wrong with you, what flaws lurk in your character.
To do this, conduct a kind of survey of your friends, relatives and friends on the negative features of your willful disposition and unbridled temperament. Try to find out from them what annoys others about you, whether you have, in their opinion, strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps what you consider the norm of behavior, for most of the people around you, seems like blatant arrogance or immorality. These habits need to be broken immediately.
When suitable material will be collected, fix everything that happened on paper. Do not try to hide, downplay or conceal something, try to look at yourself objectively, through other people's eyes, as if from the outside. This will be the first step towards further transformation.
Seek advice from a qualified professional. To understand what type and type of character you have, have several conversations with a psychologist who can get to the bottom of your problem and suggest ways to solve it.
Motivation is the key to change
Think about what advantages the new “I” will bring to you, because character change is a very difficult and long path that only a person with developed force will. Decide for yourself how much you need such metamorphoses, whether the game is worth the candle.
Sometimes a person blames character for his problems, but this is not always the right approach. Sometimes the cause of failures are the complexes imposed modern society or acquired in early childhood.
Motivation plays an important role in the process of character breaking. If a changed nature helps to find more prestigious job, become more successful, establish relationships with family and friends, then the process of transformation will take place faster - you will have a good incentive.
The next step is visualization
Constantly keep in mind and mentally reproduce new traits of the future character. Without this procedure, you will slide back to where you started. If you do not know what exactly you want, if there is no clearly defined one that you need to strive for, then it is impossible to achieve anything. It is necessary to unequivocally present the model that should become a reality.
Say no to copying and imitation!
Most people want to change their character only in order to adapt to someone, whether it be a boss, parents or a significant other, somehow please them, but at the same time they do not think about themselves.
If your colleague is more successful, this does not mean that you need to adopt the manner of his behavior, gestures, some chips in communication. Each person is unique in their own way. Everyone has a talent that needs to be discovered in the right place at the right time.
In trying to improve your character, be careful not to acquire new, hitherto unknown to you, bad habits.
Improve yourself, and do not copy someone else's character. Develop spiritually: read books, be kinder, think about others, and not just about yourself.
Sources:
- how to change your character
His life depends on the properties of a person's personality. First of all, because, depending on his characteristics, he makes decisions in one way or another, and also implements them. If the actual differs from the desired, you can try to change character and destiny.
Instruction
Think about how you usually make decisions. They are not responsible for this process. strengths psyche. A person in this situation is influenced by unconscious drives and social norms. In order to make it easier and more confident to make decisions, analyze your deepest needs. Also, collect as much information as possible about the social norms that are relevant in the society in which you live.
Predictive talent is developed by trying to predict the future based on analytical data or premonitions. Pragmatic talent is the ability to see the benefits and effectiveness of various objects and people, understanding technology different kind works. Emotional talent - the ability to cheer up (or spoil), create holidays and manipulate states. Psychological gift - skill
If you are asking this question, then most likely you have difficulties in communicating with other people, you are unable to build relationships, people do not pay attention to you, or they make claims about your difficult character. In short, you cannot get along with other people because some of your character traits prevent you from doing so. Of course, there are other reasons why you want to change your character. Maybe you want to be like another person because he or she likes someone who likes you. There are many reasons, and in this article we will answer the question: "How to change your character?".
To begin with, it would be nice to answer the questions of what character is, what character is made of, and how it is formed. Generally from the Greek word "character" translates as "imprint". From here everything becomes clear. The character of a person is very closely related to the type of temperament, since it is from him that specific reactions to any events occur. It is impossible to change, but with the help you can reduce, or even completely eliminate negative traits. Some character traits are innate, and they are inherited. But innate character traits have a small share. Most character traits are formed under the influence of life experience, upbringing and environment or environment.
Agree, if you were born in another country or in another family, your character would be completely different. So remember, 95% of character traits are shaped by external environment. The remaining remaining percentages depend on genetics and temperament type.
As you have noticed by yourself, a person's character changes throughout life. These changes occur unconsciously, as if the program worked at the right time. After all, in childhood you had the same values and hobbies, adulthood very different, in old age also different. But the foundation of character is laid in childhood, and by the age of 4-5, we can safely say that the child already has his own character.
Then there are major changes in the school years. In adulthood, changes in character will occur due to any events, under the influence of other people and age-related changes. By the age of 50, a person stops living in the future, stops making plans, and already begins to think about the past. After the age of 60, a person switches to new stage life, when the past and the present become significant. There is calmness and calmness.
Every person has certain character traits. As you know, there are no absolutely identical people, even among twins (by the way, I just have a twin brother), which at first glance seem to be exactly the same. It is very good that all personalities are unique, otherwise it would be boring to live among the same people. If we talk about character traits, then according to the Teplov system, they are divided into four groups.
The first group includes common features character, which are the psychological basis for a person. This is sincerity, courage, activity, diligence and so on. There are also their opposites: insincerity, pessimism, cowardice, passivity.
The second group includes those character traits that express the attitude of the individual towards other people. Just this group is strongly associated with the type of temperament. This is either isolation, kindness or malevolence, indifference or attentiveness, love or contempt, and so on.
The third group of character traits includes those traits in which a person's attitude towards himself is expressed. This category includes such character traits as pride, vanity, megalomania, self-esteem, selfishness,.
The fourth group reflects the attitude of the individual to work. Laziness or diligence, and overcoming difficulties, or their fear, initiative and activity, or lack of initiative and passivity.
How to change your character?
It's time to talk about how to change your character. Some character traits are easy to change if they are not opposite. But if you want to change such a character trait as irascibility to calmness, long and hard work will be required here. Some character traits cannot be changed due to temperament. I already spoke about this above. Also, after thirty years, it is also very difficult to change anything in yourself, but nothing is impossible. In fact, a person can always change in himself what he does not like.
And before you start to change something in yourself, you first need to determine what exactly you want to change, what character traits.
So take a piece of paper and write down the character traits that you would like to eliminate. Below each trait, write how and when that trait manifests itself. So it will be easier for you to control yourself and avoid wrong actions and reactions. Also remember to be mindful. This is very important point, because you know that most reactions and actions occur unconsciously. Therefore, the first month will be very difficult for you.
The second way that will make it easier for you to change your character is if you replace your negative trait with a positive one. In this case, you will focus not on preventing such and such a reaction or action, but on behaving differently.
For example, if you want to eliminate such a character trait as intemperance, then you will get rid of it much easier if you cultivate in yourself such a character trait as patience. If you try to get rid of isolation, then you will not be able to do this if you do not begin to cultivate in yourself such a character trait as sociability. You can't get rid of cowardice if you don't. This technique is called "substitution". You are not getting rid of, but you are replacing a character trait.
Once you have decided on the traits you want to get rid of and replace with, you should visualize yourself with these character traits. In fact, it works very powerfully. When you imagine your behavior many times in specific situations, it really starts to show up in the way you imagined it. I have seen this a million times in my experience. Visualization helps a lot to change your character. The main thing here is regularity, as well as awareness of your reactions and actions.
After a month of control over your new habits and actions, your new character traits will appear automatically. You will no longer need to control them, everything will happen on autopilot. And it's all thanks to NLP. That is, a new neural network is formed in your brain, which is responsible for this or that habit. The most difficult is the beginning, and very difficult.
I also want to warn you not to try to completely remake yourself. I understand that something in yourself does not suit you, but it is unlikely that you will be able to change yourself completely by 180 degrees, and this is not necessary. Some character traits are better to accept, because they can be yours. strong point. yourself the way you really are.
character of a person, character traits, how to change your character
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It is known that without social communication modern man It is quite difficult to lead a full-fledged life. People intersect with each other every day at work, in transport or in their personal lives. It is especially difficult for men and women who by nature have a complex character. Temperament and willfulness can jeopardize a career and even marriage. In order to prevent serious consequences, it is necessary to take timely measures. Consider effective ways that will help improve the character for the better.
Method number 1. Do not deceive yourself and others
- A bad person is different from good topics that constantly lies to loved ones and to themselves. Of course, it is easier to deceive than to speak the bitter truth. However, such a move will not improve your character. Over time, a person gets used to lying, he is looking for any reason for this.
- Get rid of the addiction, remove the label "liar", if any. Stop cheating on trifles, be honest with loved ones. There is a difference between "lying for good" and "lying for nothing". The first option involves correcting bad consequences for the better, but it should also be abandoned.
- Be honest with yourself. Many people deliberately wind up wrong thoughts in their heads, but on a subconscious level they feel a catch. Learn to understand what is good for you and what is bad. Choose the option that your heart tells you.
Method number 2. Do good
- Good returns a hundredfold, do it good deeds. Help a friend move, borrow money, get an older man across the street. Repair your grandmother's fence in the country, fix the tap at home, help your soulmate with cooking.
- Perhaps today you will help, tomorrow they will help you. Gather grateful people around you to whom you can turn in case of unforeseen circumstances. Behave like a human being, do not intrigue enemies, do not respond to rudeness.
- It is important to be kind to animals. If you find a cat with a broken leg, take it to veterinary clinic. If possible, take the animal home, feed it. Create all the conditions for a full-fledged existence for your four-legged friend.
Method number 3. Strengthen family relationships
- Love warms, gives stimulus, allows you to do the impossible. For this reason, it is important to feed it daily, and not just on holidays. Create strong bonds, find a person who will become a support for the rest of your life.
- Work on relationships, pamper your loved one with gifts, solve problems together, rejoice in common victories. This recommendation is especially relevant for men. Strong half humanity needs female tenderness and care.
- Lonely people are inherently unhappy. You can be in a relationship with "not your person", as a result of which the soul will constantly demand another. Do not contradict your heart, build love only with those who suit you perfectly.
Method number 4. Plan your life
- All high-ranking officials have achieved their status through a clear strategy. Get in the habit of making a plan for the day, month, year, or five years.
- Put big goal, divide it into small tasks, perform them gradually. Once the goal is reached, move on to the next one. The main thing in life is to engage in self-development and not stand still. When other people step forward, you are left behind.
- Put a number next to each goal and task. It will mean that by this time it is necessary to achieve what you want, no matter what. It is important to understand that you should not set transcendental desires. Act according to your ability.
- If we are talking about the monetary equivalent, it is better to earn more than not reach the minimum. Learn to save money, cut the budget for insignificant things (cafes, parties, etc.).
Method number 5. Fight bad habits
- The good life begins with getting rid of bad habits. This includes swearing, smoking, drinking alcohol, a dissolute lifestyle, a dismissive attitude towards others.
- Eliminate your shortcomings, quit smoking, this addiction refers to a weakness of character. Observe the culture of drinking, do not drink strong alcohol and beer, prefer a glass of red or white dry / semi-dry wine.
- To stop swearing, blame your friends if they swear in front of you. Start reading books to increase vocabulary and improve the style. Watch educational videos, play mind games.
Method number 6. Look after your appearance
- Take care of yourself no matter what. Even if the day before you did not sleep for a day or experienced a serious separation from your loved one. Choose a look that will suit you completely.
- It is known that there is no limit to perfection. Carefully evaluate the figure in the mirror, if necessary, sign up for gym. Go to the boxing section or buy a subscription to the pool, visit a yoga or stretching class.
- Choose a hairstyle according to the shape of your face, recolor your hair. Regularly go to the master of manicure and pedicure, also do not forget to get rid of excess vegetation on the body (bikini area, armpits, legs).
- AT summer season do not allow yourself to go untanned, go to the solarium or to the city beach. Get rid of cellulite and sagging belly, if any.
- Review your wardrobe. Throw in the trash everything that does not fit perfectly. Give old things to a shelter or friends, do not save up unnecessary things. The same applies to shoes, bags, belts.
- Watch your posture and gait. If you don't know how to walk in heels, learn the art. Sign up for a correction school, get a corset to align your spine. Watch your health.
Method number 7. Keep your promises
- Honor is determined by a person's ability to keep his word. If you are not sure that you are able to fulfill the request, do not promise anything. The same applies to minor agreements with friends, relatives or strangers.
- The same applies to your goals and future achievements. Don't rush to tell people what you don't have yet. For example, you are going to buy a car, but there are no funds for it. Earn them first, make a purchase, then show off.
Method number 8. Engage in self-development
- Self-development is one of the fundamental personality. Always be in motion, develop not only spiritually, but also materially. Find new job where you will get more. Look for ways to earn extra money (writing articles, handing out leaflets, building, etc.).
- To spiritual development applies mental activity. Sign up for courses foreign language learn it thoroughly. Read fiction or non-fiction, read interesting facts.
- You can also develop emotionally. Do what you have always wanted to do. Fight fears and insecurities. Go skydiving, learn to swim or visit the observation deck of the tallest building in the city. It is important to deal with phobias so that they do not interfere with a full existence.
Method number 9. Chat with friends
- Conduct a short survey among the closest people. Find out what they don't like about you. Maybe you secretive person and keep everyone at a distance. In this case, try to correct this oversight, learn to trust.
- It is important to be interested not in everyone, but only in those who know you well enough. At the same time, it is worth taking people from different areas life (working, friendly, family environment). Pay attention to what they say to you. You can get a notebook and outline everything you hear in it.
When a person has habitual life principles, demeanor and style of conversation, it is quite difficult to change character. However, the procedure cannot be called impossible. Learn to keep your word, do not deceive yourself and others, adjust family life, engage in self-development. Watch your appearance, fight addictions, plan your own life.
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