Or we don’t understand at all how we should act ... What to do in such cases? How to behave so that you do not regret what you have done later? In fact, there are many ways to help you.
Method one. Reasoning.
It is suitable for people who think rationally, who are used to reasoning with.
Try to calculate the consequences of this or that action. Your best bet is to write down all the pros and cons on a piece of paper to make it clearer. Let's say you were offered new job but you are in doubt whether to agree or not. Take a sheet, divide it into two halves and on one write down all the advantages of the proposed position, for example, “ big salary"," Growth prospects "," social package ", on the second - negative factors -" work far from home "," irregular schedule "," little information about this company "and so on.
Look at both halves of the sheet and count how many pros and cons you got. Now highlight what is your priority. After all, suppose a salary and career may well compensate for some inconvenience. And it also happens that money and career are not the main thing for you, but you want to return home early and spend the weekend with your family. This method will simply help you to visually sort everything out on the shelves, and so it will be easier to finally make a decision.
Method two. Intuition.
Suitable for people with an intuitive mindset. Listen to what. If you were offered a job or, say, marriage, and the offer seems to be good, but for some reason you are not tempted to accept it, so maybe you shouldn't? And, on the contrary, if your mind doubts, and your heart prompts you to do just that, shouldn't you follow his lead? If earlier your intuitive premonitions have already been justified, then it means that you can quite trust them.
Method three. Try fate.
This is for magically minded citizens. It's about different. Not even necessarily traditional, like cards or I Ching. You can just think: "If the next candy I get from this bag is green, then I will go to this place, and if it is red, then I will refuse the trip." The main thing is to get the candy without looking.
You can "tell fortunes" and with the help of a clock. Connoisseurs say that if on the watch face when you glance at it. if there is a "jackpot" - say, 11 hours 11 minutes, then you can be sure: the upcoming meeting or enterprise will be successful for you. If the first two digits are more than the second two, say, 21 hours zero three minutes, you should not rush to make a decision. If on the contrary, for example, the clock shows 15:39, it means that the time is running out for you: hurry up so as not to miss your chance.
Now on sale there are special balls for making decisions. You formulate a question, shake the ball and look at the answer in the window. Just remember that the ball does not predict the future, but only tells you what to expect and how best to act in a given situation.
Method four. Reading the signs of fate.
Suitable for those who are interested, if not in mysticism, then in psychology, etc. As you think about a solution, pay attention to what is happening around you. Suppose you are about to go somewhere, but you are in doubt whether to go or not. And then all of a sudden the phones start ringing and requests of friends fall on you, you lose the keys to the apartment and find that the soles of your shoes have flown off ... Most likely, Providence tells you: you should not go to this meeting.
Or someone offers you cooperation, and his surname turns out to be the same as that of a person whom you knew many years ago and with whom you had some kind of connection unpleasant situation... Was it by chance?
Or you are planning a trip, and suddenly you, by strange coincidence, comes across a post on the web former client the same travel company that recalls with horror how he used its services ...
They ask you for a large amount of money, and then the title of the note catches your eye: "Firm N has gone bankrupt" ...
You have had a stabbing in your lower back for the third month now, but you still can't decide whether to go to the doctor. And then catch a snippet of someone else's conversation in the subway: "I did an ultrasound scan yesterday, they said - a kidney stone ..."
You are wondering whether it is worth going on a date to the gentleman who invited you, and they sing on the radio: “Do not go to his meeting, do not go. He has a granite stone in his chest. " Isn't it a hint?
A "picture" can also carry a hint. For example, you are not sure whether you should associate fate with this a specific person... And suddenly you see a couple of gentle swans on the pond. Or, on the contrary, you meet a couple of desperately fighting cats on the street ... Make the appropriate conclusions.
Of course, you shouldn't take literally every little thing for. But if a word or event attracted your attention, engraved in your memory, or it seemed to you clearly that “this is all about you,” that it is connected precisely with your situation, then it makes sense to take this into account. Good luck with your decisions!
The philosopher Jean Buridan lived in France in the XIV century. He composed a lot. But the descendants remembered his parable about a donkey that died of hunger due to the fact that from two identical armfuls of hay he could not choose the one with which it was better to start. Do we also look like donkeys when we are trying to make an important decision?
Our expert - psychologist Marianna Gorskaya.
From early childhood until the end of our days, we are forced to live in a state of constant choice. What to wear: a blue dress or a red one? Which fan do you prefer: reliable or witty? Where to go to study: to a prestigious university or where it is easier? Which job to choose: profitable or interesting? And so - in everything. How you don't want to make a mistake when the choice concerns really significant things!
A million torment
The easiest way in this regard is fatalists and do not care. You swim to yourself at the behest of the waves - where fate will steer, and you don't know the trouble. What kind of dress hangs closer - then you need to put on. Who of the suitors will be more persistent - for that and get married. Which of the employers will show the greatest interest - that will get it. People with developed intuition also have a good life, as well as those who consider themselves such, and therefore are convinced that their choice is always infallible. Everyone else suffers, doubts, despairs and wonders how it is possible global solutions accept, relying on ephemeral intuition or the blind will of fate! However, it is in this, condemned by many, approach, according to psychologists, that there is often a great life wisdom. After all, all the options possible development events cannot be counted, so sometimes it is better to just trust your sixth sense or even rely on Russian at best. And then act according to the circumstances.But before you take the final step, it’s a good idea to weigh everything properly. And only if, after much thought, the answer never came by itself - then you can use your intuition or take risks.
Comprehensive approach
There are many rational methods decision making. For example, there is a well-known psychological reception: write down on a sheet of paper in two columns the pros and cons of one or another choice, and then, by simple mathematical calculation, decide which one is more profitable. There is also a more advanced way. It is called the "Descartes square". This way of making a decision is ideal when you need to choose whether to take a fateful step or it is better to leave it as it is. For example, you can resort to this method to decide whether to divorce your husband or not, change your job or stay the same, take out a mortgage or not, put up with your mother-in-law or not communicate with her until the end of your days. The essence of this simple technique is to look at the situation more broadly, not from one or two, but from four different angles. To do this, you need to divide a sheet of paper into 4 columns and answer 4 questions:
- What happens if this happens? (The pros of getting what you want.)
- What happens if this does not happen? (The pros of not getting what you want.)
- What will NOT happen if this happens? (Cons of getting what you want.)
- What will NOT happen if this does NOT happen? (Cons of not getting what you want.)
Indeed, often we consider only the pros and cons of the onset of a possible event, but we do not take into account the positive and negative sides"Status quo". And a comprehensive assessment avoids unnecessary risk. And then you will not have to endure annoying losses that could have been easily avoided. We wish you less mistakes!
Making decisions is not easy. When you stand at a crossroads alternative options interfere with making a choice. If you follow your mind, the right decision can be made in a matter of minutes. After reading the article to the end, you will learn about an unusual technique that helps thousands of businessmen and people of different professions and gives clear methods that will help you understand how to take correct decisions in life.
Every moment of our life depends on the decisions that we are forced to make in a given situation. It is important to make the right decisions, especially in those moments when you need to give new impetus, direction and meaning to your life. It doesn't matter if it's work or personal life, career development or household issues. These decisions change our lives, careers, or relationships. Rotate everything 360 degrees. Even when we don't choose, we actually make decisions. More-less.
On the one side, modern society it was widely believed that man himself is the creator of his future, on the other hand, the process of choice is associated with throwing, headaches and thoughts about responsibility for possible consequences. Sometimes it's very hard to do right choice... You can easily be overcome by millions of doubts that slow down the decision-making process. And internal conflicts that come from the outside prevent the mind from seeing the right path. For this reason, people are shackled by fear - due to possible failure and wrong choices.
Those who want to immediately take their lives into their own hands, to command it, should take note of several methods that will help make decisions in life.
The first step is to get in touch with your self. Here it is important to "disconnect" from various influences and influences from the outside world - to stop listening to the advice and recommendations of other people.
The heart will tell you the right way. People inclined to rationalization, of course, will struggle when making important decisions. Because most often they prefer to listen to the brain, analyze the advantages and disadvantages. Ultimately, this leads to a loss of emotional impulse, which can revive any choice. Choosing based on a rational approach is useful when risks need to be minimized.
Therefore, it is important to listen to the inner voice, this makes it possible to make the right decisions. As a rule, financially secure and wealthy people have always faced difficult situations and choice. But they had the courage and courage, making important decisions, to go against everyone, but with a smile on their face and listening to their heart.
2. Listen to intuition
In addition to the heart, there is a part of one's own personality called intuition.
She gives us an infinite number of ideas and information that can be used in further reflections. For example, have you noticed when you are dating by a stranger, suddenly you seem to have an insight and a spontaneous decision. It is important not to miss this moment here. After all, this is possible, this is the sign indicating that you are on the right path.
Even when you don't choose, you still make a choice.
"To postpone a decision is a decision in itself."
Frank Barron
Many people tend to believe that giving up making a decision is a choice. But in fact, making decisions and making choices, you understand that you are alive, only you are the masters of your destiny. Therefore, it is important to take responsibility, overcome insecurities and fears, and make some kind of decision.
Even in the case when you have a fear of making the wrong choice, in any case, it is preferable to make it. This is only your own accumulated experience that will help you make the right decisions in the future.
3. Correct goal setting
In order to focus on your goal and make decisions correctly, you need to draw up and develop a plan in advance to achieve it. An excellent option and exercise to achieve your goals is SMART technology. This will organize your thoughts faster, and you can make the right decision. Try to be as specific and as clear as possible. Thus, a clear goal setting, a structured plan will help you quickly make a decision that is fateful.
4. Make a list of priorities
Before asking others for help, it is helpful to try to design the list and choices in a hierarchical manner. For example, primary needs - to earn more and less significant - the proximity of the place of work. All of this is important when you decide to quit or change your job.
To make the right decision, it is important to determine what things are preventing you from being happy and, secondly, to implement the right strategies to remove barriers. And if the ultimate goal is to eliminate these external factors that prevent us from living in peace, in this case, it is necessary to change the way we think, act.
5. Analyze the pros and cons
As the wise say: follow your heart. However, you should never forget about the rational choice aspects. It is necessary to correctly assess the possible consequences. Therefore, it is necessary to describe all the pros - “what you get if you make this or that choice” and all the “against”. Many people find this exercise very helpful in finding the right solution. This will help you more quickly understand which obstacles and difficulties outweigh any advantages of choice and will be able to make decisions correctly.
7. Avoid haste in decision making
Following your heart and intuition does not mean making hasty decisions, guided by momentary emotions. Typically, such decisions are not dictated by reason, but by despair, frustration, anger, or excitement. It is important to make decisions in moments of calm, when the mind is able to reason calmly and intelligibly.
It is also important at such moments to distinguish between what really deserves your thoughts and what simply cloudes your thoughts.
It is good to listen to other people's opinions, but in any case final decision must be taken in complete autonomy, clear mind and consciousness. Whatever choices you make, it's always worth remembering that they do not determine the entire course of life.
9. Technique "compass"
This will help the compass technique. This technique is usually taught in business and management courses. This technique will help you weigh all your decisions, look at them differently, outside the box.
In fact, the compass method is much simpler than it might seem. In order to make a decision, you must:
- Write five simple questions on paper.
- Choose one of six possible options alternative actions.
First, you need to ask five questions to make the right decision.
Whenever you have an important decision to make, grab a piece of paper, notebook, digital or personal diary. On a blank page, write the following questions.
- Where are you from? Your place of residence, registration and place of residence does not matter here! Write on a white sheet: What are you doing today? Who are you on this moment? Where are you now. If you are at a crossroads in life, write down some decisions and possible events that could change your life.
- What is really important to you? Write down four things in your notebook that will never make you give up. What kind key points, turning points were in your life. What helped you in life and because of what your life will no longer be the same.
- What makes you act and move forward? What motivates you to make specific decisions?
- Who are the people who are important to you? Who is able to influence the making of vital decisions? Who do you trust? Who makes you go to feats and act, create, work?
- What's stopping you? What's the scary thing about the decision to take? What obstacles, situations or people hinder and keep on the way to the intended goal?
Are you finished answering the questions? Have you covered everything? Now let's move on to the next item - the description of the concept map. To do this, we will need to highlight the keywords that characterize all of your answers.
The next step is to estimate the number of options for action. To structure your notes, you can use either a regular notebook or the MindNode program or the MindMeister application.
So, we write down six alternative courses of action, the proposed compass decision-making model. Answers to all these questions will help to clarify and make a well-thought-out decision.
- A solution that fascinates and inspires you. What decision has the greatest impact on you? Let's say that in the past, the most important thing for you was new people, experience. This is probably the right path for you today. Meeting new people, expanding new connections, networking, partnerships and looking for like-minded people.
- The rational way. What do people you trust offer you? Are they more experienced and wise?
- The path of the dreamer. This is all about life that fascinates you. This path is not the easiest one. It may be in line with your values, aspirations and beliefs, but you need to consider that you must be motivated, and your strong beliefs will help you achieve your goals.
- Solution that might be the least common. If your days are boring, they choke you and the days resemble Groundhog Day, then you might want to take an unconventional decision-making path.
- Most common solution. If you are a conservative person, customs and habits are the main thing for you, then this option is the best for you. For example, you are in a relationship with someone, for example, in a relationship (no matter personal, business, partnership), you understand that you have to make a choice: continue it or go on a new adventure. Therefore, it is important here to evaluate our values and the people we love. If they don't overlap in any way, then maybe it's time to go our separate ways. This happens when it is necessary to compromise, to make a choice in favor of what is really important to us, when we act out of fear of not living up to the expectations of the person we respect.
- Return trip. It's kind of a step back and redesigning your goals. You just need to settle scores with the past, and then a new previously unknown road will open. For example, you decide a question: close a project that does not give the expected results. Then we are faced with a dilemma? On the one hand, how to quit if we have been living and breathing what we love for one or two years. On the other hand, if the project does not bring results, we are forced to invest time and other resources. Therefore, when there is not enough motivation to continue the project, you need to carefully evaluate the return paths, that is, think about closing the ongoing project.
The compass technique helps you make one or more correct decisions.
10. Method "Descartes Square"
The "Descartes Square" technique will allow you to look at the issue in a complex way and will help you make a decision without getting hung up on one factor.
In order to make decisions on this method, it is necessary to ask four questions that can be entered into the matrix for ease of perception. Questions:
- What happens if the event happens? (positive sides)
- What happens if the event doesn't happen? (positive sides)
- What won't happen if the event happens? (negative sides)
- What won't happen if the event doesn't happen? (negative side, which we won't get)
By answering these questions, it will be easier to weigh the pros and cons and make the right decision in important points.
11. "Glass of water" method
This method was developed by Jose Silva. This researcher has written numerous books and studied the possibilities of controlling mind and fate, different methods visualizations and predictions.
The Glass of Water method is based on the assertion that water “records” information. Recent research by scientists confirms this. And since a person consists mainly of water, then, probably, water can help answer some questions. So let's take a look at the method.
Before going to bed, you need to pour it into a glass pure water... Then take a glass of water in your hands, close your eyes, concentrate and ask a question that requires a decision. Then drink half a glass of water in small sips, saying "This is all it takes to make the right decision." Then open your eyes, put a glass in which there is water not far from the bed and fall asleep. After waking up, you need to finish the water and thank you for finding the right solution. The answer will come either immediately or unexpectedly during the day.
So, we have analyzed with examples the ways and methods that can be used when making important decisions.
When making an important decision, always keep one thing in mind. important thing: never forget who you are and what you want out of life. Choose with your values and goals in mind, don't let indecision and fear rob you of something important in life! And always remember: there are no wrong decisions, you can always find a way to fix it! Now you are just one step away from making the right decision that could be the turning point in your life, so don't be afraid to make decisions!
Our life is a constant series of decisions. They can be both minor and quite serious, which have a big impact on us, and lead to serious changes. A person constantly decides what to buy for lunch, where to go in the evening, which book to read, which university to go to study, what profession to choose, how to make a million etc. And if the price of the issue is small, then the decision is given to us easily and is taken quickly, because the loss in case of an error will be small. But, the more serious the choice is, the more difficult it is to make it. In this case, the right decision can lead to great success or, on the contrary, can cause losses and failures. Therefore, it is very important to know how to make the right decision.
Be sure to set a time frame for yourself to make the right choice. The presence of a limitation forces you to choose the most effective solution in a given situation. This process describes the so-called law of forced efficiency.
To make the right choice, you need to collect as much information as possible. How more facts in your hands, the easier it will be for you to do effective choice... So you can more or less objectively assess the situation.
Remember that emotions are your enemy in decision making, because during an outburst of feelings, you cannot reason objectively and detached. Try to wait for the moment when everything in your soul boils over, and only then get down to business, because you may not make the best decision on a hot head.
Remember that if the search correct option action is related to work, then you can shift this issue to someone else. This will save yourself a lot of time. In addition, having completed a task once, you can count on the fact that you will have to do it all the time. Additional workload without corresponding dividends is absolutely useless. Therefore, think as rationally as possible, because delegation of authority- very handy tool to "unload" your work schedule.
When making a decision, be sure to prioritize your thinking. Structuring thoughts according to the principle of importance is a great skill that will allow you to quickly find an effective way out of any situation. If you do not develop this skill, you will be constantly confused in your own reasoning when parsing complex problems. In addition, there is a risk that you will take the wrong criterion as the basis for making a decision, which will lead to incomprehensible consequences. With a high degree of probability, your choice will be ineffective, and often also dead-end. By making mistakes, you will, of course, develop your decision-making skills over time. But by breaking the so-called "overview" of the choice, you will not be able to identify the causal relationships that explain why the decision was correct or vice versa. Therefore, before difficult choice it is advisable to structure all your thoughts and make a "priority rating" of various factors in your head.
Fear of potential failure also makes it difficult to find the right solution. Many fail because of this ineffective feeling. In order for fear not to bother you, you need to analyze in detail the consequences to which this or that choice can lead, and then act.
It is best to remain calm when making a decision. If you are a rather suspicious person, then you can relax by listening to your favorite music, having a rest or, in extreme cases, drinking a sedative.
Objectivity is another factor that will ensure making the right decision... You need to be honest with yourself and not artificially sugarcoat the facts that contribute to the wrong choice.
Prioritization is one of the most important elements in assessing different options for action. Think about what is most important to you: money, career, family, etc.
In addition, you need to estimate costs, since this factor can have a serious impact on the effectiveness of a solution.
Most of us very often regret what we did, believing that we made the wrong choice. In fact, if you think soberly, you can come to the conclusion that there are no right and wrong decisions. If you are determined to achieve goals, and this goal is a priority and important, all actions towards it will be absolutely correct. Choosing the right solution is a rather subjective concept, so be guided by your desires.
Situations often arise that the choice can be postponed until certain details are clarified in the event that the delay will not cause any damage. However, you can fall into the trap when new facts complicate the decision-making process more and more, unexpected information arises that requires clarification. Such a paradoxical effect is manifested in the fact that the more effort and perseverance you put into achieving a result, the worse everything turns out for you. Or in other words, the longer you solve a problem, the more obscure facts emerge in this case.
Time limits the ability to analyze anyway different options... Refusing a choice is also a definite decision, although it can often be the most ineffective. For example, if you cannot choose between two professions that suit you, then you risk ending up unemployed or becoming an unskilled laborer. In such a situation, any option will be more profitable for you than refusing to choose. And if you still cannot decide, then it would be better to make a decision at random than to refuse it.
There are times when a hasty decision leads to collapse. In such situations, it is best to wait a while to assess the problem. However, it must be remembered that it is also impossible to delay the moment of making a decision for a long time (especially with regard to work), since you may either be outstripped, or the situation may worsen. And then you will regret not making your choice earlier. Only people in high positions can allow themselves to think in detail about various options, since they know that no one else can make a decision.
Solve a serious problem not necessarily solely on their own. You can always consult with your friends or family. The task voiced several times clarifies the situation as a whole, and it will be much easier for you to find a simple and ingenious way out of this situation. In addition, your interlocutors can really give useful advice... The only point is that you should not tell everyone and everyone about your problems, because this way you will not come to anything, but only spend a lot of time on useless complaints. Plus, everyone is willing to give advice, and too much advice will easily overwhelm you.
If you are used to relying on the opinions of loved ones, then in situations that require prompt action, you can imagine in your head what your friend would advise you. This kind of internal dialogue can be incredibly helpful in many cases.
When making decisions, ignore emotions that are aimed at achieving quick results. This false zeal can play a trick on you. In order to avoid possible negative consequences you should use Susie Welch's 10-10-10 method, which is to guess where your decision will lead in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years.
Always look for alternative possibilities... You should not completely give preference to one idea alone, blindly believing in its correctness. Come up with at least a few more options in order to compare with your first. Imagine that the original idea simply does not exist, and think about what you will do in such a situation. You will definitely find a few more alternatives.
If you still can't decide 100%, go to bed, and overnight you can get a great solution. This is because our subconscious knows everything. possible outputs out of the current situation. During sleep, a continuous process of analysis will take place, and in the morning your subconscious mind may give you the best option... Before you go to bed, ask yourself a question again, and then put a pen and a leaf next to you. This is necessary in order to quickly fix some thought, if necessary.
Do not ignore intuition ( methods of developing intuition), because our inner voice makes mistakes much less often than our minds. Therefore, before making a decision, try to listen to your feelings. If you are experiencing any discomfort, then it is worth reconsidering other options.
Now you know what helps you make the right decision. Let's take a look at how to stick with the chosen option.
How to follow the decision
Once you have made a decision, act immediately without delay, as any kind of delay will only reduce your chances of achieving success... Plus, you sow the grain bad habit constantly postponing things for later, which is fraught with the fact that you will never achieve the intended result.
Remember that changing your mind after you're halfway to your goal is at least ineffective. Be true to your original views. This will build confidence that you are doing everything right, and success will not be long in coming. However, be on the lookout. If you realize that your path is clearly leading to failure, it is best to abandon it as early as possible. Remember that even successful entrepreneurs change course very often. Find a balance between flexibility and tenacity. In this case, you will move towards the goal persistently, while you will be able to quickly change the plan of action without much loss for yourself.
Finally, it should be noted that in order to learn to make the right decisions personal experience should be used. In doing so, be guided by the above tips, because your decisions may not be correct in 100% of cases. The constant change of the surrounding reality makes you change too. So be flexible in the process of choosing the right solution. Remember that your methods can fail, no matter how ideal they seem to you. Experiment more and take tactical steps that are unusual for you, because the comfort zone in which you are used to being leads to degradation. Personal experience- one of the most loyal advisers.
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Many decisions in our life have uncertain results. Should I buy a bike or a gym membership? Having bought a bike, you can ride whenever and wherever you want. By purchasing a subscription, you will be able to work out on simulators and swim in the pool. Everything seems to be clear, but why is it so difficult and sometimes even painful to make a decision?
The fact is that when we make a decision, for example, with two options, then on the one hand we gain something, on the other we lose. Having bought a bicycle, we will not be able to go to the pool and exercise equipment. And after purchasing a subscription, we lose the opportunity to ride a bike in the evenings with friends and get a lot of related pleasure.
Therefore, even when we make the right decision, as it seems to us, we experience pain. But in many cases the problem is contrived. For example, the flour of the morning choice - tea or coffee - is sucked from the finger. Both options are good. You can drink tea, forget about coffee and get maximum pleasure. For some, this is obvious, while the other will have doubts and spend mental energy on a choice where it is not necessary to make it. So why sometimes it doesn't matter which decision to make? Because it does not affect the quality of life and is unlikely to negatively affect the future. If you drink tea this morning, and not coffee, it does not matter ( possible harm coffee aside).
So the first thing to ask yourself is: is it really something important, or can you pick one option at random and not worry? Many successful businessmen who make dozens of decisions a day know about this, so they try to take off the burden of everyday worries. They wear the same clothes and eat the same breakfast in the morning. The average person puts themselves under stress at the beginning of the day because their clothes and breakfast matter a lot. But actually it is not. Stop worrying about bullshit.
What really matters are the important decisions:
- Where to go to study?
- Which company should you go to work for?
- What product to start producing and which one to refuse?
- Do I need to learn Chinese?
- Which house to buy?
- What skills to develop?
The consequences of these decisions are important. They allow you to lose or earn money, spoil or improve relationships with loved ones, lead to growth or degradation.
Find out which questions are important to you and which are not. Then read on.
Decision making process
- Defining a problem, challenge or opportunity. Problem: which dentist should I go to to treat my teeth. Opportunity: what will be more important in five years - knowledge of English or Chinese?
- Creation of an array of possible options. You can find several dental clinics on the Internet, and then also ask friends.
- An estimate of the costs and benefits associated with each option. On the one hand, even treatment in an inexpensive clinic costs a pretty penny, on the other hand, you still need to be treated, because then you will have to pay ten times more.
- Choosing a solution.
- Implementation of the chosen solution.
- Assessing the impact of the solution and changing it if necessary.
You may not be going through all six stages on every occasion in your life, and not always sequentially. But even so, there should not be many difficulties in making decisions, because there are step by step algorithm... Although in life everything is usually not so simple. So what are the difficulties then?
Why is it sometimes so hard to make a decision
Some of your decisions are so simple that you make them without thinking. But complex or ambiguous ones require more attention. These include:
- Uncertainty: many facts and variables may not be known.
- Complexity: many interrelated factors.
- Consequences high risk : The impact of a decision on your fate and the fate of others can be significant.
- Alternatives: Various alternatives may arise, each with its own set of advantages, uncertainties and consequences.
- Interpersonal problems: you need to predict how other people will react to your decision.
All this rushes through your head in a second, so you do not even have time to understand why this pulling inner feeling appeared. One thing is clear: the more difficult the decision, the more time you need to spend on thinking.
How to learn to make decisions
Before moving on to solving specific problematic issues, it is necessary to develop a general mechanism for making weighted decisions. It consists of three parts:
- What you focus on. What you think about shapes you as a person and changes you. Many people concentrate every day on what they cannot control. You can make decisions based on what you have, what you can influence.
- Decide not to focus on what isn't working. It sounds strange, but this is what most do. We are so used to doubting everything that we do not notice how instead of working solutions we first sort out non-working ones.
- Evaluate situations. Life changes every day, you change, the people around you and the situation in general. Some problems may not be problems at all.
But this is all theory. V real life we think in specific categories and are often limited in our choice by many factors. Here are some practical requirements to a process of reflection that will allow any situation to be considered more carefully and soberly.
Make a decision quickly
Yes, in this case it may not be the best. However, even a bad decision is better than deliberation, which lasts for several days, months, or years. During this time, people psychologically put up with the fact that they will not make any decision.
Successful, great people often make decisions quickly. They know that doubts and fears can ruin even the greatest endeavors. They change and adjust their plans along the way, learn in the process.
If you hate your job, why not make the decision to change your job right now? Not to change, but to make a decision. This means that you start looking for another job, improve your skills and set the stage. But you make the decision now, there is no need to delay.
We often think along the following chain: gathering information - analyzing - evaluating - gathering information - analyzing - evaluating. And so on ad infinitum. Make a decision (you already know that you need to change your hated job) right now and only after that look for information that will help in the process of implementing your plan.
The more you wait, the more you will suffer. Torment that you perfectly understand the importance of making a decision, but do not accept it in any way.
Find the criterion for making a decision
Do I need to take it? In many cases, everything is too obvious, in some it is not. What are your criteria? For instance:
- What's good for me.
- What is good for my loved ones.
- Something that will bring money.
- Something that will bring experience and knowledge.
After a quick decision, gather information
Again: do not confuse and swap the first and third paragraphs. If you need to study, make a decision here and now, and only then start collecting information, looking for books, self-study guides and enrolling in courses (all this can be done a minute later).
When the decision is made and the goal is set, collect all the necessary information, having previously set yourself a condition: I will do the following important step in this direction after so much time. For example, you decide to study English language in the morning, we gave ourselves four hours to search for all the necessary information, and at six o'clock in the evening we decided to call several English schools and find the best for ourselves in terms of class time, distance, etc.
Analyze past decisions
It is important to understand two things:
- Why have you made good decisions in the past?
- Why have you made bad decisions in the past?
What happened then? What principles were you guided by? Perhaps when you make decisions quickly and intuitively, they are the best in your life. Then do the same in the future.
Create a spreadsheet
It's very simple, visual and effective: all your choices on one screen with their ratings, pros and cons. This allows you to dive into details or look at the big picture- depending on the purpose.
Tony Robbins Method
You can avoid potential flaws in your decision making when you have a system in place to help you fragment options and anticipate potential weaknesses. It's called OOC / EMR. This is the decision-making method from Tony Robbins. He applies four rules to the very process of its development.
Rule one: all important or difficult decisions must be made on paper.
Don't do it in your head. So you end up getting stuck on the same things without getting to any kind of resolution. Recurring thoughts creates pressure and leads to stress.
Remember yourself when last time took an important decision for a very long time. Rather, they did not want to accept him. Months and even years passed, but the matter did not get off the ground. If you took a pen and paper, a decision could be made in one hour.
Rule two: be absolutely clear about what you need, why you want it and how you can know that you have achieved it.
You must clearly understand what you want, what the goal is. Even if it's absolutely clear what exactly you want, you can forget the reasons why you want it. WHY is what will make you follow your decision. This is where it appears.
Get as specific as possible about what you want, why you need it, and how you will know when you get what you need.
Rule three: decisions are based on probability.
Don't expect complete and absolute certainty. In most cases, you will never get it. So, they must give it to themselves.
No one can clearly say what the consequences of a decision will be. Yes, you need to collect information and analyze it, but no one can give a 100% guarantee.
Rule four: Decision making is clarification.
In most cases, there can be multiple results. Find out which solution will be most beneficial in all areas of your life. Sometimes benefits arise where you never thought possible.
So we got to the decision-making process. Robbins calls it a convoluted acronym for OOS / EMR. It consists of the following steps:
- Results.
- Choice options.
- Consequences.
- Evaluation of options.
- Reduced damage.
- Solution.
Let's consider each step separately.
results
Tony Robbins begins by identifying the results he wants to achieve. He asks the following questions:
- What will be the results?
- What exactly do I want to achieve?
This helps to create clarity about the results as well as prioritize them. After all, there can be a lot of them, and they can bring completely different benefits.
Robbins: "Thinking first and answers second."
Choice options
He writes down all the options, even those that may seem strange. Why? Tony says there is a principle here: “One option is not a choice. Two options are a dilemma. Three options - a choice. "
It doesn't matter if you like these options, just write them down.
Consequences
Robbins tries to figure out the implications of each of the options he comes up with and asks each one of the following questions:
- What are the advantages and disadvantages of each option?
- What will I get from each option?
- What will it cost me?
Evaluating options
For each option or choice, Tony Robbins asks the following questions:
- What results are affected? (this is what we discussed in the first point)
- How critical are the disadvantages and how important are the advantages on a scale of 1 to 10?
- What is the 0 to 100% chance that a negative or positive impact will occur?
- What emotional benefit or consequence will there be if I choose this option?
Robbins uses this step to exclude certain choices from the list.
Reducing damage
He then looks at the consequences of the shortcomings of each of the remaining options. For everyone, Tony Robbins brainstorms alternative ways to repair or mitigate damage.
You can lean towards one option, but know that it has drawbacks. That's what this stage is for: think about how to reduce their impact.
Solution
Robbins selects the option that provides the most confidence in achieving the desired results and needs based on the most likely outcomes.
He suggests the following steps in this step:
- Choose the best option.
- Expand it to make sure it works.
- Decide for yourself that regardless of whether an option works 100% or not, it will lead to victory (this way you can stop being tormented by the thought that by choosing one option, we will lose the other).
- Develop a plan for implementation.
- Take action.
Books
You are unlikely to learn how to make decisions by learning a couple of methods. This is a process that lasts for years. The following books will help you speed it up.
- "Solving Problems Using the Methods of Special Services" Morgan Jones.
- "Refraction. The Science of Seeing Differently. ”Bo Lotto.
- “Guide to Lies. Critical Thinking in the Post-Truth Era ”Daniel Levitin.
- “How not to be wrong. The Power of Mathematical Thinking ”Jordan Ellenberg.
- “Why are we wrong. Thinking Traps in Action ”Joseph Hallinan.
- “The traps of thinking. How to Make Decisions You Won't Regret Chip Heath and Dan Heath.
- “Territory of delusion. What mistakes are made smart people"Rolf Dobelly.
- “Proactive thinking. How simple questions can dramatically change your work and life. ”John Miller.
- "Mental Traps at Work" by Mark Goulston.
This article only sheds light on part of the complex process of decision making. You can learn more about it on our free course "".
We make decisions all the time. Sometimes more than a hundred of them can accumulate per day, and all of them will have certain consequences. This means only one thing: the quality of decisions determines the quality of our life. When you achieve mastery in this matter, you will achieve success in many areas. We wish you good luck!