Everyone knows that the foundations of human self-esteem are laid in early childhood. Family relationships, conflicts between parents, frequent quarrels - all this affects a person and his ability to accept himself in the future.
All people have different psychological stability. And, if someone's family problems did not lead to the fact that a person cannot accept and love himself, then the person is less stable and vulnerable to boast that everything is in order with his self-esteem. And all his life he was haunted by the thought that he was somehow bad and did not deserve to be happy. The attitudes acquired in childhood are still valid for him and it is very difficult to fight them, because they are perceived as familiar to a person.
What does it mean to respect yourself
Self-respect begins when a person stops blaming himself for everything. He ceases to engage in constant introspection and self-examination, which do not help him analyze his mistakes, but, on the contrary, open up more and more reasons for him to find reasons why it is impossible to love him, to accept him as he is.
Respecting and appreciating yourself as a person means thinking first of all about your own interests. You should not be afraid to look selfish at the same time, healthy selfishness has not prevented anyone yet. You need to be able to say "no" to people when someone else's requests infringe on your own interests.
Most often, people who do not value themselves are afraid to refuse to help others, because they are afraid of being rejected. It seems to them that their main value as a friend or partner, or simply as a person, is to earn the love of others, forgetting about their own aspirations. Such people begin to be eaten by a feeling of guilt and fear that after refusal, everyone will turn away from them. But in order to learn to appreciate yourself, you need to try to resist your fears, work on achieving your own goals and true desires.
Self-respect is about accepting yourself for who you really are, not trying to follow the lead of others, just to please them. To be a healthy, self-confident person, to feel your integrity and value, first of all, for yourself, and not try to prove it to the world around you.
To adequately assess yourself, you first need to make a list of your pros and cons. You can write down any little things, including: "riding a bicycle", "knowledge of languages", "the ability to add numbers without a calculator", etc. When the list is ready, count what is more - pluses or minuses?
Don't berate yourself or focus on your negative qualities. Analyze them objectively and decide which negative qualities you want to get rid of, and what needs to be done for this.
Every day, note how much good there is in you, what you have achieved (in a day, week or month) and write it down in your diary, even the smallest victories are necessary to start respecting yourself. Read a book with poems to your child, cook a delicious dinner for your husband, become the soul of the team at work - write it down. As the Chinese proverb says:
Always look at things from the bright side, and if there are none, rub the dark ones until they shine.
It is important to learn to celebrate your achievements, and not just praise your personality, while not even doing self-development. Otherwise it will lead to narcissism.
Find time that is dedicated only to you. Do what you love and enjoy. Take up self-improvement, sign up for a fitness room, good physical shape also affects your well-being, if you like what you see in the mirror every day, then you are already halfway to learning how to get along with yourself and accept yourself.
Women, more often than men, are faced with the question of how to learn to value yourself. The whole world of a woman is focused on the family, on her husband, on children and there is often no time for herself. This is where problems arise with your man. He no longer sees in you the woman he once loved. You have dissolved in him and his interests are more important to you than your own. But for a woman, this is the most important thing - to learn to value herself in a relationship. Because without this you will not have a harmonious relationship, you will always feel disadvantaged.
A woman can and should be a little selfish in relation to her man. He should conquer you, not you. And as long as you only do your best to please him, you will never learn to value yourself as a woman. Do not be afraid to set aside a day for yourself to take a relaxing bath, put yourself in order, and take care of only yourself. It is very important for a woman to feel beautiful, and if a woman feels like that, then it is impossible to say that she does not respect and appreciate herself.
A man has always been and will be a breadwinner. He bears the responsibility of providing for and protecting his family. Therefore, if a man has a feeling of his inferiority, then, most likely, he simply could not realize himself in this.
No matter how acute the issue of gender equality is in the modern world, no one can change the fact that the role of women will always be in the safety of the home, and men - in protecting and providing their women and their homes with everything they need. Therefore, the only way for a man to respect himself is to pursue his career, to achieve professional success. Make your woman happy, because she is a reflection of everything that you have achieved.
Thursday, February 15, 2018
How to learn to respect and value yourself? These questions are often asked today. People gradually come to understand that it is impossible to simply “go with the flow”, but that one has to fight for life. Getting rid of depression is difficult. It arises from serious stress, so the very understanding of the need to make changes will be the first step on the path to recovery.
Learning to appreciate and love ourselves
"For a person to be loved, he must love himself."
A familiar expression? Consider its meaning. Only people who know their own worth will be able to win the love and respect of others. More often, such problems arise in women who have experienced a break with a loved one. Men are not prone to self-criticism, but they also find themselves in difficult situations.
How to learn to love and appreciate yourself? Make a list of actions that you absolutely shouldn't do. The recommendations are simple, but, as practice shows, effective:
- You cannot be “poor” and “downtrodden”. Learn to have and defend your own opinion, but at the same time hear others.
- A person who does not know how to stand up for himself will not be able to earn the respect of others, so it is imperative to learn this art.
- Don't be afraid to be selfish (but within reason, of course).
- You should not make casual acquaintances, the only purpose of which is to get rid of loneliness.
- Don't get hung up on your appearance. This does not mean that there is no need to take care of yourself, but excessive enthusiasm for "oneself beloved" or excessive self-criticism only repels people.
- Don't dwell on the past. You need to live in the present, and what has already passed cannot be returned, so you just need to let it go and forget.
- Don't try to be perfect. There are no such people. Attempts to classify yourself in this category look fake and alienate those around you.
Learn to be yourself in any situation. Individuality adorns a person, distinguishes him from the general mass, and therefore attracts the attention of others.
What is the reason for low self-esteem? The roots of this problem often go back to early childhood. Children who were not supported by their parents, were not taught to set goals and overcome obstacles on the way to them, who were not praised for every small personal victory, do not believe that they are capable of anything. Sluggish, infantile people grow out of them, ready to "go with the flow" without standing out from the crowd.
People who do not know how to appreciate and love themselves have low self-esteem. To change the situation, you will have to engage in self-development. Reconsider your life, find strengths, determine what you can do better than others. A person who does what he loves is transformed, and the attitude of those around him changes accordingly.
Regular self-development will help. Active, purposeful people attract attention like a magnet. Don't be afraid to make mistakes! By analyzing them, we become wiser and stronger.
Looking for strengths and doing things
How to learn to appreciate yourself? Identify your strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps there is some serious potential within you? By developing their strengths, a person increases self-esteem, feels confident in life, and ceases to be afraid of difficulties.
Don't be afraid to do things. Others will readily follow a strong and confident leader. Active people are in the spotlight. Remember, people are judged by their actions.
Think back to your recent achievements. Even if the list is small, acknowledge your successes. Having done this, a person will immediately feel a surge of energy, faith in himself and a desire to achieve more will appear.
Find your purpose in life. People who understand that his actions are beneficial have increased self-esteem.
The first step is difficult. The fate of a man is in his hands! Think about it, do not go with the flow, make a decision, and it will not be so difficult to change the situation.
To become happy, you need to know harmony, and without love and self-esteem it is hardly possible to achieve this high feeling. How to learn to love and respect yourself sincerely, forgive and let go of fear and pain?
Our motivation, life goals, energy charge, harmonious existence in this life depend on the level of self-esteem. What needs to be done to learn to respect and value yourself?
Creating the perfect look
To gain self-esteem and self-esteem, it is necessary to adhere to various postulates that make us happier and more successful. How to force a husband and wife to show love and humility, teach children to help others, from an early age sow love and self-respect in their souls?
What psychology advises:
- It is important to be able to forgive, at any time and period of life, forgetting about both petty grievances and strong sins. You need to learn to forgive your neighbors, erasing pain, anger and suffering from your path. You can meditate, use various ways of "visualizing the offender", trying to let go of the insult from your soul forever.
- To show yourself a respectful attitude, you need to engage in self-development, learn new and interesting things, increase the level of self-esteem and increase the degree of confidence in your person. It is important to learn to love yourself, but at the same time do not forget about those around you.
- We need to remember that failures and negative thoughts attract bad things, and therefore it is important to learn how to switch to the positive in time, smile more often and accept life in all its manifestations.
- It is important to understand your surroundings - with whom do you communicate and what energy do you attract? You must surround yourself with worthy individuals who love and respect themselves, are ready to come to your aid at any moment, express support and a benevolent attitude.
- Never stop there! Keep improving and looking for new ways out of the situation. It is important to find yourself, to find your favorite pastime, and then all the obstacles will be overwhelming.
What happens if you don't show respect for yourself?
A person who does not show respect for himself becomes an inferior person, as if every ridicule and keen gaze of a neighbor is about him. Life is going badly, it is difficult to achieve the intended goals when there are only negative thoughts, complexes and fears in my head.
Only love and respect will help you cope with difficulties and find success. People with positive thinking do not suffer from depression, they always find a way out of any life situation, do not mislead others.
How to love yourself and learn to respect?
What can you do to develop personal self-esteem and how to love yourself? You need to learn to respect yourself in practice (do your hair, put on nice clothes, take care of yourself and your body, eat right and balanced in order to achieve the desired forms).
How to force yourself to be respected - It is important to stop comparing yourself to someone else. Each person is individual and there are no identical personalities in the world. You need not to dwell on shortcomings, but to look for your talents and abilities in order to surprise others and love yourself.
If you made a mistake in something, then you should not reproach yourself in this, the one who goes forward and develops takes life lessons. You cannot change the past, but the future is in your hands.
It is necessary to form the right habits, which will help to increase the level of self-esteem. Each person should eat right, devote time to physical and spiritual development, monitor weight and health.
What can help improve self-esteem:
- recreation;
- encouragement;
- positive emotions;
- positive thinking;
- affirmations and meditation;
- good health;
- self-development.
Before moving on to practical actions, you need to find the reasons why you are still disrespectful to yourself.
Do you need to love yourself?
What prevents the development of your self-esteem is the lack of love, when a person ceases to live in harmony with the outside world, mental impulses. Until we love ourselves, we cannot truly love our neighbors.
Dissatisfaction with oneself is forced to envy others, and therefore, to ruin one's own world and ideas about life. If there is no proper attitude towards oneself, then pity, negative emotions arise, which destroy the health and well-being of a person.
If you engage in self-criticism all the time, look for your negative sides and shortcomings, then nothing good will come of it. Only fear, pain and frustration. That is why it is so important to stop and start looking for your path in life, honest, noble and harmonious.
How to show love and apply it to yourself?
A loving and self-respecting person every day sets quite realistic goals for himself, achieves them and thanks himself for his efforts. This is the only way to achieve harmony and avoid self-flagellation.
There are several exercises that can help you change for the better:
The first exercise is self-awareness
To do this, you need to think carefully and mentally answer a few questions:
- who I am in this life;
- what I do;
- why can I be proud of myself;
- what I do best of all;
- how others treat me;
- what should I change in my life.
The second exercise is to find your virtues.
You need to take a piece of paper and write down all the positive aspects. After every day, re-read them in order to cultivate the beauty in yourself, in order to love yourself for what you are.
Exercise 3 - Recording Changes
Psychologists say that you cannot compare yourself with other people, but you can do it with yourself “yesterday”. What does this mean? It is important to learn to note your negative and positive actions, and constantly record them.
You need to continue the exercise until the dynamics of the results begins to satisfy you. This way you will become proud of yourself, appreciate and love as an improved person.
To strengthen the results obtained, it is important to regularly follow some simple rules:
- before going to bed and after waking up, say warm words to yourself, thank the Lord for everything that you have, ask for a blessing for the day to come;
- standing at the mirror, you can cheer yourself up by saying words of praise and praise of some qualities;
- come up with a positive affirmation and repeat it as often as possible to achieve the desired result (a great example is the heroine of the movie "The Most Charming and Attractive");
- try to please and pamper yourself, give small and big joys;
- it is important to take care of your body, be sure to engage in physical activity, walk more in the fresh air, eat healthy and wholesome food, and when there is no physical discomfort, it will be easier to love yourself.
How to start appreciating your personality?
How do you get people to respect yourself? Many are afraid to appreciate and love themselves, because they believe that they will stop thinking about others. But this is not so, love is not a manifestation of selfishness, it is important to make self-esteem optimal, so as not to step over the line of what is permitted:
- Everyone has the right to make a mistake - this is not a weakness, there are no ideal people, and therefore everyone can commit wrong actions. The main thing is to think better and take measures to eliminate the error.
- No one owes anything to anyone - and therefore it is not worth demanding from others what they cannot give.
- You need to be open with people.
- It's important to accept people as they are - not to try to change them.
In order not to reproach yourself for unrealizable plans, it is important to really plan every day and hour, this is the only way you can manage to complete your plan and get positive emotions as a reward for your work.
Psychologists say those who work hard should get good rest. After all, constant stress can lead to emotional exhaustion! We stop working at full strength, we lose our skill, qualifications, we begin to doubt our capabilities.
Love and respect in the family and at work
How to make others respect themselves - relatives, friends, colleagues ... How to make a wife show patience and attentiveness to her husband? How can a man get her recognition? Or become a valuable employee at work? There are many questions, but the answer is one - love and self-respect.
In order for family life to become an idyll, it is necessary to accept each partner with all his shortcomings, and not try to change them, but develop new, positive character traits that will become the key to a strong and happy life.
How to get a man to respect his wife? Stop being selfish, take on some of the "female responsibilities", get rid of the idea that a woman will not go anywhere and will always be there.
The main thing is to never give up, but always strive for victory, like at home, at work, in personal matters. In addition to all the tricks, you always need to develop, every guy will be pleased when his girlfriend will be appreciated and respected by those around him, and not grumbled and condemned.
Often the cause of family conflicts is the partners' lack of respect for their personality. How to make a husband or wife respect yourself? You need to get rid of the trail of the past, stop dwelling on the negative, revise your plans for the future and cultivate a personality full of strength and energy for a happy future.
For a husband to be attentive to his companion, it is important for a woman to learn to respect herself and him, to reckon with the opinion of her husband, and not to "nag" him over trifles. How can you get your husband to show concern and godly intentions? A woman needs:
- Stop hysteria.
- Do not wash dirty linen in public.
- Do not "extort" money from a man for uncontrolled purchases.
- Do not humiliate, do not insult, do not "roll up scandals" from scratch.
And it is better to become a support and support for your dear husband, then he will "move mountains" so that everything in your family would be fine. Be a friend, spend more time together for pleasant chores, prove to your loved one that you deserve a good relationship.
Now you know what it means to appreciate and respect yourself, how to change life and make it beautiful and interesting. Be happy and take care of yourself! Develop and do not stop there! Movement is life and a guarantee of a wonderful future!
Each of us has ever experienced complete disappointment in ourselves. The reasons for this psychological state may be different and you should understand yourself well and not let the "bad mood" take its course. Indeed, quite often such an emotional recession develops into a prolonged depression.
Not many people dare to sign up for a session with a professional psychologist. First, not everyone can be completely honest with a stranger. Secondly, such "outpourings of the soul with its further healing" are not cheap. And, frankly speaking, it will be very expensive for an ordinary citizen of our country. Therefore, we recommend that you follow simple but effective rules that will help you learn to respect yourself.
Tip # 1 - Forget the disadvantages and highlight the merits
Most of us fixate heavily on our imperfections and try to achieve the “unattainable ideal”. No, we do not want to convince our reader that trying to become better is bad. On the contrary, it is always necessary to strive forward. But do not forget to respect yourself for what you have already achieved.
If you constantly see only flaws, then a depressed mood cannot be avoided. And with a bad mood, nothing will work out for sure. As they say: "Someone sees a glass half empty, and someone half full"... This rule also works great for raising self-esteem and teaches us to love ourselves as we are.
Think only nerds and bigots always know, so that they can do everything as much as possible. But no! All successful people know about this rule, so they all have time everywhere and everywhere. After all, before going to bed, it is so important to feel that the day has not passed in vain and you have moved one step closer to your dream.
Such a state of satisfaction will help increase self-respect, thereby charging you with positive emotions for further achievements. So try to write out a plan for the day and stick to it. Just set real tasks that you can complete, otherwise, not having time to do them, you will be disappointed. And this is not at all the effect we are striving for.
"Anyone who works hard should get enough rest."... After all, constant stress leads to emotional exhaustion. We are not starting to work in full, and not completed tasks make us doubt our own strengths.
This is why it is so important to rest, reboot and reassure yourself. Immediately, the outlook on what is happening will change and you will feel inspiration. Therefore, appreciate and love yourself, and try to separate work and leisure time.
"We are what we eat"- such a statement is quite justified. Indeed, not only our health, but even our mood depends on what we eat. Did you know that such foods with a high sugar content (bars, chocolates, cakes) and estrogen (beer, soy, cheese) contribute to mood swings, which significantly affects the hormonal and psycho-emotional state.
"Sport builds character"- many may disagree, but the fact remains. Therefore, it is important to instill the right habits from childhood. Any sport not only helps to build willpower, but also helps with low self-esteem.
Everyone in their life has ever cheated. Therefore, they know that a lie will definitely not lead to anything "good". Deception always becomes obvious, and your authority in the eyes of the people around you is rapidly falling.
"Better a bitter truth than a sweet lie"- this aphorism most vividly describes this point of our article. Every self-respecting person should be sincere both with himself and with the people around him. Axiom "Treat others as you want them to treat you" undoubtedly works everywhere and with everyone.
"Negative experience is also experience"- so don't get hung up on failure. Learn to benefit from everything. After all, past failures make us more adaptable to the future. And they are also invaluable science for overcoming difficulties in the future.
So don't let negative emotions from the past undermine your faith and self-respect. As they say: "After the storm, there is always a calm" and "The black stripe will definitely be replaced by a white one.".
This paragraph summarizes all of the above. After all, people with positive thinking do not suffer from depression, they always find a way out of any situation that has developed and under no circumstances see the point in lying or misleading others.
So be sure to try to look at the world under the prism of "happiness", it will 100% help to look at yourself from a different angle. You will become more tolerant of yourself, learn to love and respect yourself even more.
Agree: if we do not love and value ourselves, then willy-nilly we begin to blame others for the pain we are experiencing, and as a result, we are overwhelmed by anger, frustration and depression.
But what does it mean to respect yourself? I like the definition given by young Katie: “It means accepting yourself as you are and forgiving yourself for the mistakes you made. This is not so easy to come to. But if you can eventually go to the mirror, look at yourself, smile and say, "I'm a good person!" - this is such a wonderful feeling! "
She's right: healthy self-esteem is based on the ability to see yourself in a positive way. Here are seven principles to help you feel better about yourself.
1. Your self-image should not depend on other people's assessments
Many of us form our self-image based on what others have to say. This leads to the development of real addiction - a person cannot feel normal without approving assessments.
Such people seem to say: “Please love me, and then I can love myself. Accept me, and then I can accept myself. " They will always lack self-esteem as they cannot free themselves from the influence of other people.
Your mistakes and weaknesses do not define you as a person. The more often you say to yourself: "I'm a loser, nobody loves me, I hate myself!" - the more you believe these words. Conversely, the more often you say: “I deserve love and respect,” the more you begin to feel yourself worthy of this person.
Try to think more often about your strengths, about what you can give to others.
3. Don't let others tell you what to do and how to be.
This is not about arrogant “my interests are above all else”, but about not letting others tell you how to think and what to do. To do this, you need to know yourself well: your strengths and weaknesses, emotions and aspirations.
Do not adjust to the desires and demands of others, do not try to change just in order to please someone. This behavior has nothing to do with self-esteem.
Many do not respect themselves because they once committed unseemly deeds and compromised moral principles. There is a good saying on this score: “If you start to think better of yourself, you will act better. And the better you act, the better you will think of yourself. " And this is absolutely true.
The converse is also true. You think badly of yourself - and you behave accordingly.
Self-esteem assumes that we know how to manage our emotions so as not to harm ourselves and others. If you uncontrollably show anger or resentment, then you put yourself in an awkward position, and possibly destroy relationships with others, and this inevitably lowers your self-esteem.
Look around: many live in their own little world, believing that their thoughts and knowledge are not needed by anyone. They consider themselves narrow-minded and prefer to keep quiet. As you think you are, so you act. This rule always works.
Try to diversify your interests, learn new things. By deepening your knowledge of the world, you develop your thinking abilities and become an interesting interlocutor for a variety of people.
Life is full of possibilities - explore them!
Each of us has our own ideas about what is right for us, but we do not always follow this. Start small: Stop overeating, eat healthy foods, and drink more water. I guarantee that even this little effort is bound to boost your self-esteem.
Dawson McAllister- radio host, motivational speaker, author of books. Blogs The Hope Line.
Self-esteem is felt in the body, felt in other people, but it is difficult to talk about it. What does dignity mean? And what does “worthy” mean? Who determines what is worthy and what is not, and by what criteria do we separate the first from the second?
They are able to slow us down, interfering with the movement towards the goal. We are often not aware of them. These blocks are our old memories, events, beliefs or attitudes that we give ourselves, but which the body decodes in its own way.
How to learn to respect yourself?
The ability to respect oneself is one of the most important qualities for any person, on which the extent to which he can achieve success and satisfaction with his life directly depends. Only the person who knows how to respect himself is able to arouse respect from others, as well as achieve the achievement of all goals set for himself.
What lies behind the concept of self-respect and how to learn to respect yourself?
First of all, speaking of self-respect, we mean the ability of a person to accept himself as he is, as well as soberly and adequately assess his value and dignity. It is self-respect that allows a person to relate positively to themselves. The other side of this concept is satisfaction with one's own actions and decisions.
Self-respect presupposes well-built and effective relationships with others, which means that there is no talk of selfishness, pride or arrogance. Any person who can respect himself will never put himself above the collective. Instead, he will find a way to interact with him in a way that is satisfying to both parties.
If a person treats himself without respect, up to a high degree of probability we can say that he considers himself defective, inferior or incapable. He hesitates when making decisions, has difficulty making choices, and his relationships with others are strained and do not give any satisfaction.
The question arises as to whether how to learn to respect yourself? To begin with, you need to learn to show attention and care to yourself and your needs. Start pampering yourself, giving yourself gifts, regularly replenishing your wardrobe. These steps will help you learn better to yourself on a psychological level.
Equally important is the issue of maintaining yourself in good physical shape. Start exercising and get your body back in shape. Force yourself to rest when needed. Take good care of your health and if you feel that you are ill, do not hesitate to apply for a sick leave.
Try to surround all those close to you with care and attention, especially your family members. This will help you win their love and respect and give you additional confidence in your strengths and capabilities. Feel free to share your warmth with them and they will respond in kind.
Start believing in yourself! Overcome your laziness and fears and you can achieve everything! If you have long dreamed of starting your own business, go for it. If you want to start new relationships - start communicating more with people. Set a goal for yourself and start moving towards it, using every opportunity for this. All in your hands!
Every morning, before you get out of bed, just smile at yourself. Enjoy every new day that gives you the opportunity to do or learn something new for you. If you want, turn on your favorite music, which will help you create the mood you want. Exercise and feel your entire body energized.
Appreciate yourself for who you are without making any comparisons to other people. Always remember that you have your own path in life, only you have the right to assess yourself. Maybe someone is superior to you in some way, but you have your own qualities and abilities, in which you have no equal.
It is impossible to live a fulfilling life without respect for oneself. And in order to develop it in yourself, you need to want it very much. Of course, on the road to self-esteem, you can face difficulties, but with perseverance, you can easily overcome them.
Sources:
How to learn to respect yourself
We all want to be respected. But it’s hard to earn the respect of others if you don’t respect yourself. Radio host and motivational speaker Dawson McAlister offers seven principles to help build healthy self-esteem.
http://www.psychologies.ru/standpoint/kak-nauchitsya-uvajat-sebya/
How to learn to respect yourself?
What do you know about self-esteem? How to learn to respect yourself.
http://kanks.ru/kak-nauchitsya-uvazhat-sebya
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