Let me remind you that this is a very significant basis for the state of Happiness! A person who does not respect himself by and large, to one degree or another, wishes evil and suffering for himself, which means that he will definitely receive them. A person who has brought up inner dignity in himself will give himself the right to a lot - to joy and, to success and wealth, to worthy friends and the maximum heights in life. And a person who does not respect himself will look for a reason to punish himself, deprive him of something good, suffer more and many other things that degrade his dignity.
First you need to understand that this work consists of two parts: 1. Elimination of all causes (internal programs) that feed in a person disrespect for himself and a sense of his own insignificance 2. Directly the formation of self-respect.
To how to deal with negativity and remove low self-esteem - we will consider separately, in subsequent articles. And now Let's start building self-respect step by step!
How to learn to respect yourself and cultivate inner Dignity? step by step algorithm
2. It is necessary to decide - who are you? Are you a divine Soul with great potential or physical body(meat and bones), a chewing organism and everything that you can and cannot do is written in your genes, and you are not able to change anything? To do this, study the articles - and. In the last article you will also find moods (affirmations) for the formation of the correct perception of yourself. It is very important!
3. Start building self-respect - by learning about your strengths and talents and learning to appreciate them!
- Write a list of 30-50 of your strengths and talents. Answer the questions: Why do you respect yourself? What do you value in yourself? What is your strength?
- Analyze your life on paper - write at least 10 points when you managed to adequately solve some difficult life problems, get out of hopeless situations, overcome obstacles, etc. This is something to be respected for!
- List the peaks you have conquered in your life, goals achieved- this is something to be proud of and which is one of the foundations of your self-respect.
- Remember and write down what shortcomings and weaknesses you were able to get rid of by working on yourself. This is a very significant moment in the formation of self-esteem!
4. Find out the opinion of your friends and loved ones who treat you well!
Ask about yourself and your merits from your relatives and friends, those who do not know you well. Ask questions like this: Tell me, why do you respect me the most? What do you value most in me? What do you think are my main human and business qualities? Why do you love me? What are my most strengths, quality? and etc. It is best to write down the answers on a voice recorder, and then make a transcript of them in your diary and re-read them several times.
5. Regularly self-suggest and use affirmations (positive attitudes)!
Self-hypnosis. Simple formulas:
- “I destroy disrespect for myself. – I increase self-respect and self-esteem
- “I burn the inner nothingness. – I reveal and strengthen the inner Dignity
How to perform self-hypnosis - read!
Set up for every day (affirmations):
- – I am an immortal Soul, bright and strong by nature!
- - I have a huge potential and I reveal it!
- – I respect myself, I cultivate inner Dignity!
- – I am a worthy person, I respect myself!
6. Live with dignity so that you are not ashamed of the day you lived because of its uselessness or the negativity that you left behind!
- Do selfless, good deeds every day and your self-respect will always grow.
- Try to go through life without leaving behind dark spots and dirty tracks: offended people, disappointed hopes, unfulfilled obligations, etc.
- Summarize at the end of the day - keep a diary of achievements, virtues and gratitude. Write down everything worthy that you have done in this diary and thank fate for a well-lived day.
7. Constantly develop, work on yourself and never stop! After all, one of the greatest sources of self-esteem is the ability of a person to purposefully change himself. That is, to remove their shortcomings and form virtues.
- Attend personal growth trainings, best of all - these are permanent long-term courses on a full-fledged Personality formation program. So that personal growth is continuous!
- Work independently - keep a diary of analysis and gratitude, do self-hypnosis, etc.
- Periodically work with a mentor or. Not all problems can be solved by a person. Sometimes we seem to be sitting in a jar of greenery and do not see the reasons for certain troubles, and we cannot do without outside help.
I am more than sure that this algorithm will help you quickly begin to form your inner Dignity and feel respect for yourself!
In order to learn to respect yourself, you need to convince yourself that you deserve it. Let's see how we can easily achieve this.
1. Society inspires a woman that she must be realized in all spheres of life. In addition, she needs to be successful in each of them. In fact, it is impossible to keep up with everything and be everywhere on top. Remember that you are just an ordinary and living woman, not the heroine of the series. Therefore, if you managed to achieve success in at least one area, for example, in work or personal life, then you can not only respect yourself, but also with clear conscience to be proud of yourself.
2. Buy yourself nice clothes, which will be able to emphasize all your advantages. Of course, society inspires a girl, especially if she is married, with the idea that she should save on everything and buy clothes exclusively at sales. This is not true.
3. Learn to respect your body. To do this, you need to be able not only to refuse imposed food during family feasts and not eat fast food, but also to throw away without regret all the food that you don’t like the appearance of. With age, many girls can safely eat tasteless food in a cafe or start a scandal if they see hair in a dish.
4. No matter how old you are, you have the same right as everyone else to enjoy the very best. You don't even have to give other people's children a window seat if you want to sit there yourself. You have every right to rejoice at the arrival of spring and walk in the parks on weekends, take millions of photos against an interesting and unusual background.
5. Learn to go to the gym in order to improve your health, and not in order to finally lose weight and fit into the standards. This approach will help you to train more effectively, not to give up training and just enjoy the process.
6. Soberly accept all your shortcomings. Not every one of them needs to be fought, some should be accepted as a feature of the psyche that cannot be changed. For example, inattentive people perceive the whole picture, not particularly going into details, but this property of the psyche helps them make decisions faster and manage to do much more during the day. If you have been trying to overcome such a shortcoming for many years, just stop torturing yourself and do not choose for yourself a job where attentiveness is valued above all else.
7. AT free time list all your knowledge and skills. If you complete the task correctly, you will see that you simply have a huge stock of knowledge and skills that will help you feel confident in any situation and will allow you to quickly find a job if necessary.
8. If you do not want to communicate with someone, then you should not do it by force. Also, you should not thank a person for a service rendered to him if you did not like what he did for you. Sometimes people are guided good intentions and interfere in your life making everything just a lot worse.
9. Do not repeatedly call someone or write. Most likely, the person simply does not want to communicate with you. Of course, there is a small percentage that he simply forgot to call you back, but this situation is extremely rare.
10. Take responsibility for your health. Of course, there are many diseases, the occurrence of which has not yet been studied by science, but even if you observe elementary rules hygiene and healthy eating Your life will become much better.
11. You should not have sex if you don't want to and drink alcohol only because someone insists and doubts his respect.
12. It happens that a black streak seems to have come: you were abandoned by a loved one, or you can’t find a job for a long time. But think about how big the world is. It is quite possible that specialists are needed in another city, or you can find your destiny on the streets of an unfamiliar country. If you are depressed or at a dead end, the best solution is to try a little change your life, especially if you really have nothing to lose.
13. Respect your time. Don't help someone to the detriment of yourself. Also, many people make the mistake of doing something for free. Your time consists of all the knowledge and skills that you once received, perhaps you even had to pay for tuition. Therefore, think many times whether you need to help people you know with their requests that somehow relate to your specialty. If you have free time, you can spend it on giving paid master classes or just relaxing.
14. Make time for yourself to rest. Unfortunately, if you perceive rest as a change of activity, the body does not rest. You need to set aside some time for the usual lazy rest, during which you can sleep an extra hour or passively lie in bed with a book.
15. Most important: don't let other people manipulate Your mood and provoke you to rash acts.
A person must respect himself, because without this he will not learn to interact with the outside world correctly. The difficulty is that learning self-respect is not a five-minute affair.
There are many step by step instructions which can lead you to certain result, but it's important to understand why it's so important. Self-respect is always above all, because it teaches us moderate pride and the correct perception of everything around.
The Importance of Self-Respect
So, consider the simplest case, when a person achieves everything in life himself or, at least, applies great amount efforts to become independent and self-sufficient. A person works, goes far beyond the path of least resistance. He learns something, studies life from the inside, makes mistakes.
When such a person is told that he has achieved nothing, he does not begin to look for arguments by which he could justify himself. He does not need it, because he is sure that he tried, tried, did something. This is due to self-confidence, generated by self-esteem, which was earned by many years of working on oneself. When you respect yourself, you do not need to look for motivation to work, to justify yourself to someone. You have a huge advantage, which lies in the vast experience.
Consider the opposite situation, when a person does not work, sitting on the neck of his parents, does not strive for anything and only waits for everything to be presented to him on a silver platter, as, most likely, it was before. It is not uncommon for children in a rich or even ordinary family to receive absolutely everything “for free”, just like that. In the overwhelming majority of cases, strong personalities do not grow out of such children. Their self-respect is 100 percent replaced by self-love and a sense of self-importance. In part, almost everyone is such people, so everyone should work for the good own development, and not sit back, because it is always easier to slide down an inclined plane than to go up.
You need to educate children correctly so that they understand that absolutely everything has its price. Every gift must be treated good deeds. The child should get everything that he wants, but to do for this some minimum set responsibilities.
In adult life It is difficult to teach a person, so you have to pull yourself together and live the way you need, and not the way you want. You need to analyze your life, draw conclusions and try not to be selfish. Only in this way will self-respect come to you, which will not allow you to fall in the eyes of worthy people. This is his main task - to help with the definition of his place in life. When you see that you have worked and tried to do something, then you respect yourself, are confident in yourself. You may not reach your goals, but you will know that you have tried.
How to recognize a person who respects himself
There are some very clear signs of developed self-esteem:
- This person has a heightened sense of responsibility. He is not late for stupid reasons, he is disciplined, he knows his duties and always fulfills them or tries to fulfill them;
- this person has self-esteem. This is manifested in everything, and this is not selfishness;
- he understands other people. It was once hard for this person, so he does not condemn other people's mistakes, but tries to help solve them. Such people will not will, but become diplomats. They know how to put themselves in the place of another person;
- he never judges people with an informal appearance. He may not agree with the presence of tattoos, but he will not be biased towards such people;
- he will normally relate to a different position in life. If you vote not for the communists, but for the democrats, then he will not hold a grudge against you;
- such a person does not hang labels. He does not think stereotypically, because he understands that everything is relative;
- he does not manipulate other people. This is superfluous, because manipulation is a kind of emotional abuse, and a smart and self-respecting person will never use such methods;
- such a person takes care of his health and the health of his loved ones;
- he always speaks to the point. He does not gossip and tries to lie as little as possible;
- he doesn't draw attention to himself. Distinctive feature such a person - modesty;
- it is almost impossible to manipulate such a person, because he has established rules developed during his life. His position in life is unchanged, at least by other people;
- such a person can always give important advice. At the same time, he or she will definitely explain that this is only their opinion, so it’s up to you to act and it’s also up to you to choose.
Stay as close to these people as possible. They look boring or seem so, but they simply do not reveal themselves to the public, leaving all the most beautiful people to the worthy.
How to learn self-respect
It all starts with you diagnose the problem lack of self-respect. If you are brave enough to understand your flaw, then you will have the strength to heal it.
Try to get started change your lifestyle. You'll have to become more disciplined. Need work out for yourself best plan and the agenda: when to go to bed, when to get up, when to rest, when to do nonsense and mess around (these items should also be).
Physical control will teach you mental control. When you go in for sports and quit bad habits, you will have more money and time to think about your life. The mood will rise, the desire to live will appear and become aggravated. At this very moment, you will need to start looking for some hobbies for yourself. If you did not have a job, then you will have to start looking for it from the very beginning of the path of change. Try to drop your pickiness if you have high demands. Prioritize a job with career growth opportunities.
If you are used to being late, you will have to eradicate this habit. Start packing early and don't put anything off until later. If you have to go grocery shopping, don't say "later" to yourself. Develop a sense of duty by overpowering yourself, overcoming the desire to postpone everything for the next day. People with a developed sense of self-respect know the value of every minute of their lives, so they live in the current time, deciding how to more problems at a time. If you do not know how your acquaintances can work, relax and have fun without harm to themselves, then this suggests that you do not know how to plan anything and determine when something needs to be done immediately.
Responsibilities for you should come first. No wonder this is taught in childhood. Business before pleasure. Leave as much time as possible for things to do. Divide time between them so that you do not do one thing for a whole day, a whole week.
General advice for everyone who wants to become more happy man than now, sounds simple: work. Hard work, perseverance, the desire to be the best at what you love most in the world is the main formula for success. Such people respect themselves in the good sense of the word. They do not give offense to their feelings and themselves, because they have something to lose. Love your work, because many successful people they say as one that there is nothing more beautiful in this world of feeling when you have succeeded in something.
Remember that you are not doing this for anyone, but only for yourself. If your goal is not to improve yourself, then you most likely will not be able to become better, although the path itself will be correct. It is impossible to make a happy and self-sufficient person who does not want it himself.
One way or another, you always need to respect yourself so as not to fall for the hook of manipulators and people who can use your kindness. Remember that self-respect is the foundation happy life and success financial, love. Don't try to bend the rules, because only lazy people call discipline an excess. Good luck and don't forget to press the buttons and
Our self-esteem is influenced by many factors that surround us in everyday life. Quite often, life tests our already shaky belief in our own worth. Therefore, how to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman is an extremely relevant, important, deep and reverent topic for everyone who is dissatisfied with themselves.
Attitude towards oneself is formed in childhood and adolescence when we begin to know the world and the place in it more deeply. Love and confidence comes from self-esteem, and for many women it is, unfortunately, underestimated. It certainly affects the quality of life. To be truly happy, you need to seriously approach the question of how to love yourself. Be responsible for own life– start correcting the situation immediately. The term "unconditional love" means "love without conditions." It is the acceptance of a person, independent of any time frame, material goods or states in which we are. Love doesn't need a reason. They love not for appearance, not for a hairstyle, not for a figure. They just love it. So where to start? First of all, understand what love is. Understand who you are. At the beginning of your journey, you need to realize: love is a feeling when we accept ourselves. Completely and unconditionally. With all the advantages and disadvantages. It is a down-to-earth and modest sense of oneself and one's life, which has nothing to do with conditional love, which breeds narcissism, selfishness and pride. Love is not pathos, not a desire to prove to others that you are better. It is not even a state of constant happiness and satisfaction with life. Harmony with yourself and inner world, self-respect in all situations. It is simplicity and modesty. Self-sufficiency. Confidence in own forces. The ability to truly rejoice and feel the value of one's own Personality. This is the feeling of lightness with which we go through life. This is the way. Movement towards yourself. Continuous process. When you do not need comparisons, because you clearly distinguish: you are you, and others are others. To make it easier to understand how to love yourself and be happy, it is important to follow the recommendations of psychologists. And now practical advice and troubleshooting. Your task is to work on your weaknesses, changing them to strengths, overcoming obstacles. The goal is to improve your Personality. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into two parts. First, write your positive traits. In the second - what you do not like about yourself and what you would like to change. Then, in turn, cross out each negative quality in the list. Tear off this part of the sheet and tear into small pieces. (By the way, psychologists say that even after such a procedure, the soul feels better.) Memorize the remaining text and repeat it regularly. For example, every morning or evening. Then make it a point to add a new word to the list every three days. These simple psychological tricks affect not only the conscious but also the subconscious. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday. And every day, take small steps to improve your own version. For example, you decide to pull yourself together and go to the gym. Do you know this sweet feeling when, having overcome a bunch of obstacles - laziness, excuses, and so on, you went to training? Or, despite fatigue and lack of time, completed on time the right job? At times like these, we are proud of ourselves! It is these feelings that you need to focus on in the process of increasing self-esteem! Focus on good times that have already been achieved. If you set goals for yourself and achieve them, the feeling of satisfaction will never leave. Learning to appreciate your own efforts, work, yourself, in the end, will be much easier. This is something that needs to be carefully worked on - replacing the negative with the positive. Try to imagine in detail your image that you would like to see in front of you. Each of us has weaknesses that it would not hurt to get rid of. For example, you are not punctual. It is annoying, angry, but you do nothing to change it and no longer feel dissatisfied with yourself. So the new you must learn to control your time and develop high level self-organization. And so - with all the qualities that do not suit. Psychologists advise writing down your own path to Love on paper. Buy a beautiful diary or notebook, to which you will devote part of your time, which will become a friend, helper and reflection of your own “I”. Write down the changes that have happened to you. Start small and see how nice it is to get better!
It is impossible to take and love yourself at one fine moment, when you want it. We repeat, this is a constant process, the path to knowing your “I”, a large and hard work to which one should aspire. Only feeling unconditional love to yourself will make you happier and spiritually richer! Being confident is a luxury you can afford! This is the real key to happiness and success!What is unconditional love?
Step-by-step instruction
Psychological techniques in practice
Making a list
We are looking for a reason to be proud of ourselves!
Self improvement
Until you learn how to value yourself, others will evaluate you. There will be thousands of ratings, because how many people have so many opinions.
Imagine that you are at night on the high seas, and are desperately looking for a landmark - a luminous dot of a lighthouse in the distance. And when you do not know how to learn to appreciate yourself, there will be hundreds of such landmarks - bright points - around! Instead of a calm focus, you will be seized by confusion and hopelessness. As a result, exhausted, sink to the bottom of the boat and release it at the behest of the waves.
Feels similarly, who believes everything that men tell her - good and bad. She does not rely on inner confidence and strength, but looking for a shaky support in other people's words.
Curving herself for the sake of male evaluation - her own "I" goes out.
Behavior, appearance, style of clothing, habits, hobbies, addictions - everything adjusts to the cherished goal:.
Remember, the heroine of Julia Roberts from the movie "The Runaway Bride" - for the rocker groom she got a tattoo on her body, for the chosen one, the American football player, she suddenly turned into an avid fan and spent hours at the stadium. And when she was asked what kind of scrambled eggs she likes, she was horrified that she could not determine for herself even such a simple thing!
How to learn to appreciate yourself as a woman? No one will teach you this, believe me.
Affirmations, self-beliefs, the art of flirting - nothing works until you believe in yourself - sincerely, for real!
Otherwise, your efforts will look timid, unnatural and strange. A man always feels who is in front of him - a woman or an individual with an obsessive desire to take possession. Even if he does, time will pass, the tinsel of fake feelings will crumble, the partner will begin to see clearly ... and see the real you. What then?
How to appreciate yourself? Appreciation really means to recognize the merits and cherish something or someone. In our case, ourselves. And in translation, the word “price” is retribution, punishment, repentance. That is, a person will receive in return exactly how much he values himself.
It turns out that he or she punishes himself (a) himself! No one else can do it.
And it’s even better to understand how books help to appreciate yourself.
“You know men very well,” Glikera said. - Tell me about them.
- What for?
“I want them to keep their eyes on me as they are on you!” And also admired me. Do you remember how many gifts that handsome warrior in the golden helmet brought us? What was his name?
“Someday it will happen that a man will bring you tiaras and necklaces, overseas fabrics and wines, and take your heart with him, you little silly!”
- Well, let! I do not mind.
You say that because you don't understand anything! Fionica laughed, tossing back her disheveled hair. “Men are pleasure hunters!” They will drink all the honey and crush the poor butterfly's wings without a trace of pity.
“But you are glad when they come to you!”
- Of course, I'm glad! Fionika replied evasively. - Okay, let's go! While we're getting dressed and combing our hair, I'll teach you how to be a butterfly that can't be caught!
They went along the long covered courtyard, in the middle of which stood the altar of Zeus, to the dressing rooms. Flat roof at home it was well protected from direct sunlight, and the light penetrated inside through openings in the walls, hung with heavy colored fabric.
Fionika was a hetero, and Glikera was her ward. They lived on the outskirts of Athens, in a large rich house bought by Fionica. One fine day, the beautiful Fionika became unbearably bored on the second floor of her father's house, where she, along with her mother and sisters, was engaged in yarn, sewing and washing. Having waited for an opportune moment, she agreed with one sailor who helped her escape from home. An accident, which is called Fate, brought her to the house of the aging hetaera Phaedra, who fell in love with the young fugitive like her own daughter. She taught her everything that she herself knew how to dance, play on musical instruments, compose poetry, conduct philosophical conversations worthy of Socrates himself, and, most importantly, charm men!
Life at Phaedra seemed to Fionica like a sweet dream that flew by like one moment.
- The art of seduction is the most subtle science of all that I know! Phaedra liked to repeat. - This can be learned only through natural inclinations.
It should be in a woman's blood - to be able to please a man!
There are no rules that would regulate this science: it is all built on feelings, sharpened like a musician's ear. It's not a skill, it's a flair, my dear! This is a melody that is born in the heart of a flute! You can’t play it from notes, because there is no one who would write them ... But you have this gift, my girl! I feel it like a wave feels the breath of the wind.
Phaedra was already in her fifties, but she was still pretty, lithe despite her heavy figure, full-haired, with hot eyes the color of dark copper.
- How beautiful you are, Phaedra! - Fionika said admiringly, helping her comb her thick, gray hair.
“My beauty is here,” answered Phaedra, putting her hand to her heart. “That’s why she’s not in danger of withering!”
Cultivate your irresistible attractiveness in the soul, and the body is just a flower that is beautiful at dawn, and already wilted in the evening.
The life of a butterfly is short, but the memory of it remains with you forever.
She showed Fionica the best way to comb her hair or how to compose a love letter. These lessons were like an interesting and exciting game that greatly fascinated the young girl.
Fionika soon gained her own admirers, and Phaedra told her to value intimate caresses so highly that the young beauty was speechless.
Yes, my girl!
Value yourself as highly as you can, for others determine how much we are worth based on our own needs.
You don't have to give your intimacy to everyone. Choose the right ones! Your occupation should not only shower you with gold, but also give you pleasure.
I think this excerpt from Natalia Solntseva's novel "" will be your first step towards learning to value yourself as a woman.
The formula "how to value yourself" is made up of self-confidence, spiritual sophistication, personal dignity and to yourself. Develop these qualities - and you will become very attractive without extra effort. What I sincerely wish you!
Ali Baba.