How to change your character?
- As a rule, new character traits most quickly and fully manifest themselves in a person if they are similar to those already existing. After the age of thirty, dramatic changes in character are extremely rare. And yet it's never too late to change.
A person can always change character traits that he does not like. There are many methods for this, but they are all based on one thing: the desire to change must be internal and conscious.
A systematic approach will be a good helper in character change. Write down on a separate sheet of paper the traits you want to get rid of. Next to each trait, write how it manifests itself. Knowing this, it will be easier for you to control yourself and prevent actions that are unpleasant to you. The character of a person takes a long time to develop, it is difficult to expose unpleasant traits, it requires painstaking and long work. But this is not impossible, and literally the first week is especially difficult. Once controlling your dark side becomes a habit, it will be much easier to monitor your behavior. And very soon what you did not like about your character will cease to complicate your life and communication with loved ones.
Also, good results in changing your character gives a role model. Having chosen some kind of sample (it can be both a real and a fictional person), you begin to look up to him. And you ask yourself what he would do in your place. By copying the desired behavior, you will also develop the right habits and minimize the appearance of negative character traits. Here MirSovetov will make only such a remark: do not try to copy someone's behavior exactly as it is, superficially. Yes, and you are unlikely to succeed. You need to understand that you are individual in your own way, and therefore some feature will manifest itself with its own shade peculiar only to you. - Life itself will change it from time to time.
- Know yourself and you will know the world. There is such popular wisdom. Knowing yourself, your character, you can know another person. Knowledge of a person's character allows us to predict his behavior and correct his actions and deeds. And, therefore, be more effective in making decisions and interacting with other people.
On the one hand, life casts a person's character, and on the other, character imposes a stamp on all a person's actions, his thoughts and feelings. Of course, a cowardly person can commit a decisive act, and a polite one can break into rudeness. But all the same - we call decisive or rude only the person for whom such behavior is the norm, who almost always acts in this way.
But you can not only study your character, but also actively change it. Influencing other people will be most effective only if you yourself meet the requirements that you place on others.
Let's explore your character a little.
In the system of relations, four groups of character traits are distinguished:
1. Character traits that indicate a person's attitude to work (hard work, laziness, initiative)
2. Character traits that indicate a person's attitude to the team and society (sociability, sensitivity, heartlessness, rudeness)
3. Character traits that indicate a person's attitude towards himself (modesty, vanity, self-criticism)
4. Character traits indicating a person's attitude to things (accuracy, thrift)
ATTENTION! Currently, experts have more than 15 thousand names of personality traits. They can also be character traits if they are clearly manifested in activities.
Let's write down the traits you know in alphabetical order with you.
For instance:
A - ambition, altruism
B - frugality. Dishonesty Continue yourself to the letter I.
Well, how is it? Look how many components there are. But! It is important to manage all this, so that your weaknesses are not leading in your life.
Character is formed in behavior. And the motives of behavior are fixed in the character. Therefore, the path of character formation lies through the formation of appropriate motives for behavior. And one and the same act may have several different motives.
You are doing a foreign language exercise. The goal is one - to remember a certain number of words. And the motives?
Children answer: get a good grade, win the teacher's approval, prepare for exams. It is the motives of activity that determine the program, productivity and character of a person. Therefore, if you want to influence your character, analyze it in terms of motives. Learn to evaluate your actions correctly - learn to manage your behavior. In order for a person to have sufficient control of his behavior, he must have a developed will.
Will is the ability to overcome difficulties, perseverance in achieving a goal. The development of will begins with the formation of strong-willed habits. It is not for nothing that Eastern wisdom says: You sow an action - you reap a habit; sow a habit, you reap character; sow character - reap destiny. We have already analyzed this a thousand times.
Anchoring.
Exercises to develop will and character.
Stroll. Leave the house and return exactly after a certain time. Permissible errors - 2 min.
Charging. Start charging
10 bombastic tips from a psychologist to help you change yourself for the better once and for all! Save yourself.
Think about it ... We so often complain / whine about our lives: “the work is bad, colleagues are bastards, there are no real friends, the husband / wife is unloved, the parents are tired of their moralizing, and even that fat aunt with shopping bags in the corner of the minibus annoying with his phone call! "
We are indignant and complain about the injustice of such a fate, not wanting to realize that speech is not at all in fatum and not in our environment, but in ourselves!
Find out, how to change yourself for the better, and your life will roll instead of a bumpy path along an impeccable asphalt path.
How to change yourself for the better: or how I hate everyone
All 5 years a girl Nastya studied with me in the same group.
She was (how would you better explain this?) - the fiend of Hell (here without exaggeration).
Perhaps I have never met the worst person in real life.
She came to couples in turn, now with a sour, then with an evil expression on her face, she loved to do nasty things, provoked scandals, humiliated the weak.
But what amazed me the most was the confidence of a classmate that the world OWNED her a wagon of happiness.
And the fact that he had not yet reached her was, in Nastya's opinion, either an act of the highest injustice, or the intrigues of enemies.
Another paradox was that a classmate considered herself an excellent person, whom people completely undeservedly avoid.
We didn’t even try to explain something to her, because it’s more expensive to get involved with such a person.
The clouds were thickening and thickening, but a real thunder broke out in a practical lesson, the theme of which was “ How to change yourself for the better».
Our teacher invited her friend - a colleague from another university to conduct it.
All our teachers were familiar with the peculiarities of Nastya's worldview and had long given up on her, they say, “It's good to study, the rest is her business,” but the invited guest was not there.
Therefore, she was very surprised when the girl began to prove to her that she did not need to improve anything in herself.
The teacher did not agree, and the rather emotional dialogue ended with Nastya's cry: “How I hate you all! Because of you I am so unhappy! "
Whom the young lady had in mind, did not specify.
I don’t know how her life turned out today, we all crossed ourselves with relief when the need to see her every day disappeared, but I don’t think it’s too happy, because the young lady never knew how to learn from her mistakes.
How to change yourself for the better: why is it so difficult?
Of course, the main reason why we continue to be not very good people is not recognizing the problem. As in the situation with Nastya, who is firmly convinced of her own infallibility.
All difficulties, a wary attitude towards us on the part of others, rejection of the collective, conflicts, etc., we attribute to anything: bad people, coincidence of circumstances, fate, so the stars converged, etc.
It is much easier for us to blame someone else than to honestly tell ourselves and others: “Yes, I am a bad person (or a person who leads the wrong way of life), but I promise to improve and will do everything to change yourself for the better!»
If you are waiting for someone to accept you “as you are”, then you are just a lazy mudlo. Because, as a rule, “the way it is” is a sad sight. Change, you brute. Work on yourself. Or die alone.
Faina Ranevskaya
Other reasons why we continue to be in the cozy embrace of our own delusions are:
Life difficulties.
For some, fate does not give too many trials, but for others - in excess.
The greatest skill is to endure all trials without being embittered against the whole world.
Weakness.
In any conflict situation, try to calm your rage, and then, taking a sober look at it, decide whether you need to continue to take part in the scandal or it is better to leave.
The same applies to other negative emotions: jealousy, envy, selfishness, etc.
When changing character and habits, do not forget about appearance.
Unwashed hair, dirty nails and extra pounds do not paint even the nicest person.
Before you begin to blame someone for the difficulties that have arisen, analyze your behavior.
In most cases, we ourselves are the culprit.
Be sure to watch the positive, and most importantly useful cartoon about
that all the problems lie in our heads!
Work on your thoughts and life will change in no time! 😉
Naturally, reading the article “ How to change yourself for the better? " will not help you suddenly wake up completely different and, most importantly, a great person.
There are months, if not years, of hard work and self-control ahead of you.
But just imagine how wonderful your life will be if you yourself become much better.
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Before developing ingenious strategies, reading the textbooks on psychoanalysis, understand for yourself what exactly is wrong with you, what flaws are hidden in your character.
To do this, conduct a kind of survey of your friends, family and friends on the topic of negative features of your willful disposition and unbridled temperament. Try to find out from them what irritates others in you, whether you have, in their opinion, strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps what you consider to be the norm of behavior for most people around you seems to be blatant arrogance or immorality. These habits must be eliminated immediately.
When the suitable material is collected, record everything that happened on paper. Do not try to hide, underestimate or conceal something, try to look at yourself objectively, with someone else's eyes, as if from the outside. This will be the first step towards further transformation.
Use the advice of a qualified professional. To understand what type and kind of character you have, conduct several conversations with a psychologist who can get to the bottom of your problem and offer ways to solve it.
Motivation is the key to change
Think about what advantages the new “I” will bring you, because character change is a very difficult and long path that only a person with developed willpower can overcome. Decide for yourself how much you need such metamorphoses, whether the game is worth the candle.
Sometimes a person blames his character for his problems, but this is not always the right approach. Sometimes the reasons for failure are complexes imposed by modern society or acquired in deep childhood.
Motivation is important in the process of breaking character. If a changed nature helps to find a more prestigious job, become more successful, and improve relationships with family and friends, then the transformation process will proceed faster - you will have a good incentive.
The next step is visualization
Constantly keep in mind and mentally reproduce new traits of the future character. Without this procedure, you will fall back to where you started. If you do not know what exactly you want, if there is no clearly defined, which you need to strive for, then nothing can be achieved. It is necessary to unambiguously represent the model that should become reality.
Let's say no to copying and imitation!
Most people want to change their character only in order to adapt to someone, be it a boss, parents or a significant other, to somehow please them, but at the same time they do not think about themselves.
If your colleague is more successful, this does not mean that you need to adopt his demeanor, gestures, or some tricks in communication. Each person is unique in their own way. Everyone has a talent that needs to be unleashed in the right place at the right hour.
As you try to improve your character, be careful not to acquire new, hitherto unknown, bad habits.
Improve yourself, and do not copy someone else's character. Develop spiritually: read books, be kinder, think about others, and not just about yourself.
Sources:
- how to change yourself character
His life depends on the properties of a person's personality. First of all, because, depending on his characteristics, he makes decisions in one way or another, and also implements them. If the actual is different from what you want, you can try changing character and destiny.
Instructions
Think about how you usually make decisions. The strengths of the psyche are not responsible for this process. A person in this situation is influenced by unconscious drives and social norms. To make decisions easier and more confident, analyze your deepest needs. Also, gather as much information as possible about social norms that are relevant in the society in which you live.
Predictive talent develops by trying to predict the future based on analytical data or premonition. Pragmatic talent is the ability to see the benefits and effectiveness of various objects and people, understanding the technology of different types of work. Emotional talent is the ability to cheer up (or spoil), create holidays and manipulate states. Psychological gift - skill
If you ask yourself such a question, then most likely you have difficulties in communicating with other people, you cannot build relationships, people do not pay attention to you, or they make claims about your difficult character. In short, you cannot get along with other people, because some traits of your character prevent you from doing so. Of course, there are other reasons why you want to change your character. Maybe you want to be like another person because he or she is liked by someone you like. There are a lot of reasons, and in this article we will answer the question: "How to change your character?".
To begin with, it would be nice to answer the questions of what character is, what character is made of, and how it is formed. Generally from the Greek word "Character" translates as "Imprint"... From here everything becomes clear. The character of a person is very closely related to the type of temperament, since it is from him that specific reactions to any events occur. It is impossible to change, but with the help you can reduce, or even completely eliminate negative features. Some traits are innate and inherited. But congenital character traits have an insignificant share. Most character traits are influenced by life experience, upbringing, and the environment or environment.
Agree, if you were born in another country or in another family, your character would be completely different. So remember, 95% of personality traits are influenced by the environment. The rest of the remaining percentages depend on genetics and type of temperament.
As you have noticed on your own, a person's character changes during life. These changes happen unconsciously, as if the program worked at the right time. Indeed, in childhood you had some values \u200b\u200band hobbies, in adulthood they were completely different, in old age they were also different. But the foundation of the character is laid even in childhood, and by the age of 4-5 we can safely say that the child already has his own character.
Then there are major changes in the school years. In adulthood, changes in character will occur due to any events, under the influence of other people and age-related changes. By the age of 50, a person stops living in the future, stops making plans, and already begins to think about the past. After 60 years, a person enters a new stage of life, when the past and the present become significant. Slowness and calmness appear.
Each person has certain character traits. As you know, there are no absolutely identical people, even among twins (by the way, I just have a twin brother), who at first glance seem exactly the same. It is very good that all personalities are unique, otherwise it would be boring to live among the same people. If we talk about character traits, then according to Teplov's system, they are divided into four groups.
The first group includes general character traits that are the psychological basis for a person. This is sincerity, courage, activity, hard work and so on. There are also their opposites: insincerity, pessimism, cowardice, passivity.
The second group includes those character traits that are expressed by the attitude of the individual towards other people. This group is strongly associated with the type of temperament. This is either isolation, kindness or ill will, indifference or attentiveness, love or contempt, and so on.
The third group of character traits includes those traits in which a person's attitude towards himself is expressed. This category includes such character traits as pride, vanity, megalomania, self-esteem, selfishness,.
The fourth group reflects the attitude of the individual to work. Laziness or hard work, and overcoming difficulties, or their fear, initiative and activity, or lack of initiative and passivity.
How to change your character?
It's time to talk about how to change your character. Some personality traits are easy to change if they are not opposite. But if you want to change such a character trait as quick temper to calmness, it will take a long and hard work. Some character traits cannot be changed due to temperament. I have already spoken about this above. Also, after thirty years, it is also very difficult to change something in yourself, but nothing is impossible. In fact, a person can always change in himself what he does not like.
And before you start to change something in yourself, you first need to determine what exactly you want to change, what character traits.
Therefore, take a piece of paper and write those character traits that you would like to eliminate... Below each trait, write how and when that trait appears. This will make it easier for you to control yourself and avoid wrong actions and reactions. You should also remember about awareness. This is a very important point, because you know that most of the reactions and actions occur unconsciously. Therefore, the first month will be very difficult for you.
The second way that will make it easier for you to change your character is if you replace your negative trait with a positive... In this case, you will focus not on preventing such and such a reaction or action, but on behaving differently.
For example, if you want to eliminate such a character trait as incontinence, then you will get rid of it much easier if you cultivate such a character trait as patience. If you try to get rid of isolation, then you will not be able to do this if you do not begin to cultivate in yourself such a character trait as sociability. You cannot get rid of cowardice if you don’t. This technique is called "Substitution". You are not getting rid of, but you are replacing a trait.
After you have decided on the traits that you want to get rid of, and which you want to replace, you should visualize yourself with these character traits... In fact, it works itself very powerfully. When you imagine your behavior many times in specific situations, it really begins to manifest itself in the form in which you imagined. I've seen this a million times on my own example. Visualization helps a lot to change your character. The main thing here is regularity, as well as awareness of your reactions and actions.
After a month of control over your new habits and actions, your new character traits will appear automatically. You will no longer need to control them, everything will happen on autopilot. And it's all thanks to NLP. That is, a new neural network is formed in your brain, which is responsible for this or that habit. The most difficult is the beginning, and very difficult.
I also want to warn you that you do not try to completely remake yourself. I understand that something in yourself does not suit you, but it is unlikely that you will succeed in changing yourself completely by 180 degrees, and this is not necessary. Some personality traits are better to accept, because they can be your forte. yourself as you really are.
character of a person, character traits, how to change your character
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It is known that it is quite difficult for a modern person to carry on a full-fledged life activity without social communication. People intersect with each other every day at work, in transport or personal life. It is especially difficult for men and women who by nature have a complex character. Temperament and willfulness can jeopardize careers and even marriage. In order to prevent serious consequences, it is necessary to take timely measures. Consider effective ways to improve your character for the better.
Method number 1. Don't be fooled by yourself and others
- A bad person differs from a good person in that he constantly lies to his loved ones and to himself. Of course, it is easier to deceive than to speak the bitter truth. However, this move will not improve your character. Over time, a person gets used to lying, he is looking for any reason for this.
- Get rid of the addiction, remove the label "liar" from yourself, if any. Stop cheating on trifles, be honest with loved ones. There is a difference between "lying for good" and "lying just like that." The first option involves correcting bad consequences for the better, but it should also be abandoned.
- Be honest with yourself. Many people deliberately wind up the wrong thoughts in their heads, but on a subconscious level they feel a catch. Learn to understand what is good and bad for you. Choose the option that tells your heart.
Method number 2. Do good
- Good returns a hundredfold, do good deeds. Help a friend move, borrow money, get an elderly man across the street. Repair the fence in the country house for your grandmother, fix the tap at home, help your other half with cooking.
- Perhaps today you will help, tomorrow they will help you. Gather around you grateful people to whom you can turn in case of unforeseen circumstances. Behave in a human way, do not intrigue your enemies, do not respond to rudeness.
- It's important to be kind to animals. If you find a cat with a broken paw, take it to the veterinary clinic. If possible, take the animal home and feed it. Create all conditions for a full-fledged existence for your four-legged friend.
Method number 3. Strengthen family relationships
- Love warms up, gives impetus, allows you to do the impossible. For this reason, it is important to feed it daily, not just on holidays. Create strong bonds, find a person who will be the support for the rest of your life.
- Work on relationships, spoil your loved one with gifts, solve problems together, rejoice in common victories. The recommendation is especially relevant for men. A strong half of humanity needs female tenderness and care.
- Lonely people are by nature unhappy. You can be in a relationship with "not your own person", as a result of which the soul will constantly demand another. Do not contradict your heart, build love only with someone who suits you perfectly.
Method number 4. Plan your life
- All high-ranking officials have achieved their status thanks to a clear strategy. Get in the habit of making a plan for the day, month, year, or five years.
- Set a big goal, divide it into small tasks, and complete them gradually. Once the goal is achieved, move on to a new one. The main thing in life is to engage in self-development and not stand still. When other people take a step forward, you are left behind.
- Put a number next to each goal and objective. It will mean that by this time it is necessary to achieve what you want, no matter what. It is important to understand that you should not set exorbitant desires. Act as you can.
- When it comes to cash equivalents, it is better to earn more than not reach the minimum. Learn to save money, cut the budget for insignificant things (cafes, parties, etc.).
Method number 5. Fight addictions
- A good life begins with breaking bad habits. This includes swearing, smoking, drinking, a dissolute lifestyle, a disdainful attitude towards others.
- Eliminate your shortcomings, quit smoking, this addiction refers to a weakness of character. Observe the culture of drinking, do not drink strong alcohol and beer, prefer them a glass of red or white dry / semi-dry wine.
- To stop using foul language, rebuke your friends if they swear in your presence. Start reading books to increase your vocabulary and improve your syllable. Watch educational videos, play mind games.
Method number 6. Watch your appearance
- Watch yourself no matter what. Even if the day before you did not sleep for a day or experienced a serious breakup with your loved one. Choose an appearance that will suit you completely.
- It is known that there is no limit to perfection. Carefully evaluate the figure in the mirror, sign up for the gym if necessary. Go to the boxing section or buy a subscription to the pool, attend a yoga or stretching lesson.
- Choose a hairstyle according to the shape of your face, dye your hair. Visit a manicure and pedicure master regularly, and do not forget to get rid of excess vegetation on the body (bikini area, armpits, legs).
- In the summer season, do not allow yourself to walk unburned, go to the solarium or the city beach. Get rid of cellulite and sagging belly if present.
- Revise your wardrobe. Throw away everything that doesn't fit perfectly. Give old things to a shelter or friends, do not save up unnecessary things. The same applies to shoes, bags, belts.
- Monitor your posture and gait. If you can't walk in heels, learn this art. Sign up for a correction school, purchase a spine alignment corset. Monitor your health.
Method number 7. Keep promises
- Honor is determined by a person's ability to keep their word. If you are not sure if you are able to fulfill the request, do not promise anything. The same applies to minor agreements with friends, relatives, or strangers.
- The same applies to your goals and future achievements. Take your time to tell people about what you don't already have. For example, you are going to buy a car, but there are no funds for it. Earn them first, make a purchase, then show off.
Method number 8. Engage in self-development
- Self-development is one of the fundamental personality. You are always in motion, develop not only spiritually, but also materially. Find a new job that earns you more. Look for ways to earn extra money (writing articles, distributing flyers, construction, etc.).
- Spiritual development includes mental activity. Sign up for a foreign language course, learn it thoroughly. Read fiction or scientific literature, read interesting facts.
- You can also develop emotionally. Do what you wanted for a long time. Deal with fears and insecurities. Skydive, learn to swim, or visit the observation deck of the tallest building in town. It is important to fight phobias so that they do not interfere with a full-fledged existence.
Method number 9. Chat with friends
- Conduct a small survey among those closest to you. Find out what they don't like about you. You may be a secretive person and keep everyone at a distance. In this case, try to correct this mistake, learn to trust.
- It is important to be interested not in everyone, but only in those who know you well enough. At the same time, it is worth taking people from different spheres of life (work, friendly, family environment). Pay attention to what you are told. You can start a notebook and take notes on everything you hear.
When a person has habitual life principles, demeanor and conversation style, it is quite difficult to change character. However, the procedure cannot be called impossible. Learn to keep your word, do not deceive yourself and others, establish family life, and engage in self-development. Watch your appearance, fight addictions, plan your own life.
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