I have already said that Japan is a country of contrasts. I want to clarify: this is a country of radical contrasts, and in some ways even extremes. Let's talk about Japanese intimacy. No, no, there was no personal experience, but over a year of observation and collecting impressions from other material, a whole article has accumulated.
In the first months of observing people, I was struck by the almost complete absence of a tactile exchange of emotions in a couple. I'm talking about kisses! If I saw kissing Asians on the street, then they turned out to be Korean tourists. Despite the fact that couples walk like in a construction team, it’s possible to understand that they can still be together: for example, a stroller with a child, or stand a little closer to each other, and of course, a look.
About their relationships, about the history of acquaintances, proposals of the hand and heart, and so on. the Japanese never speak. They are brief if you ask. Family life is like a separate world where outsiders are strictly forbidden to enter.
For all the "symptoms" it seems that marriage is a kind of pact, an alliance based solely on rational analysis on both sides. It is perfectly normal for a woman to put the question point-blank after x-dates, and for a man to say that "he sees her as his wife" in order for the union to be concluded. The wife fulfills the role of the “Minister of Finance”, because it is she who manages ALL the money in the family, although she often does not work. Men do not object to this situation: they humbly ask their wife to give them so much money they have earned for their needs. But here's the paradox: according to eyewitnesses (or better to say, victims?), which in my case were Western men, Japanese wives practically stop having sex with their husbands immediately after the birth of children! I don’t know whether my informants turned out to be such “lucky ones”, or whether it is everywhere, but comparing various other factors, which I will talk about a little later, I think this is not uncommon. In particular, this is confirmed by separate beds or futons on tatami in all hotels in Japan!! A room with a single double or king size bed costs about 30% more! And at the same time, a room with separate beds will be called a family room! This is for reflection to those who ask me to bring them a “wonderful Japanese wife” as a gift.
The first real shock for me was to learn in detail about the culture of the so-called "hostess bars" (kyabakura). By the way, it is precisely because of this that the promo staff is not called “hostess” here; and in restaurants, you are also escorted to the table by no “hostesses”. A hostess in Japan is like a 21st century geisha working in specialized nightclubs in Tokyo, which are heavily concentrated in Shinjuku and Shibuya. They are NOT prostitutes! There is nothing wrong with being a hostess. That is, if a child in the family decides to go to work as a hostess, the parents will not be disgraced. Rather, on the contrary: they are calm that he will always be in abundance. Why enough? Yes, because for one night spent in a hostess bar, a client will pay $5,000-$7,000 on average. And then all $ 10,000, and easy! I remind you: there is no sex on the menu!
So what is he paying for then? For company and for illusion. For a nice conversation with a cute, "Kawaii" girl, and also for everything she orders. Well, for example, there is simply no champagne cheaper than Cristal for $ 1000 per bottle in a bar. Also, it is customary to give gifts to your hostesses. Therefore, I was once amazed by the windows with genuine Louis Vuitton, Prada and other bags. in a very "ugly" shop selling everything in one of the night districts of Tokyo. This is such a “help shop” just for the purpose of buying a gift for hostesses. A small addition: not only handbags-watches can become a gift, but also cars, apartments ... if the hostesses just really like it! Swallowing amazement at the price tag for the services of modern geishas, I asked if there were similar establishments for ladies?
It turns out there is, and quite a few. And they often visit them ... the hostesses themselves! That is, "having worked the shift", she goes after the same, spending all the money she earns on geisha men. In addition to them, there are also women who are 40 and over, working and housewives, single and married - in short, everything!
I could still imagine the context of the situation in the hostess bar: a man for big money gets entertainment in the form of a submissive cat behaving like a 9-year-old child or teenager in early puberty - in general, the realization of fantasies that very much remind us of pedophilia ( sorry), regularly fed in manga and other comic magazines (yes! They are read by adult and very adult uncles, moreover, regularly).
But host bars were a complete discovery for me, and I simply drowned my Japanese colleagues in questions, for example, “who goes there?”, “what services do hosts offer?”, “why do women need to spend that kind of money if sex is all Isn’t it?”, “Does society (both visitors and service providers) condemn them?” and most importantly, WHY?
My colleagues could not answer the question “why” for me. I do not think that they do not know the answer, rather, the usual Japanese reaction to a too “sensitive” question - they close themselves, like partisans under interrogation, who would not give out military secrets for anything. I had to guess myself, continuing careful observation and analysis of factors.
But I was told about the life of the host bars willingly and in detail.
Unlike hostess bar customers, women behave much more trivially. There are no comic fantasies here, even despite the specific appearance of these hosts for our taste. There is also competition for “one's own boy”, expressed mainly in the “who will over generous someone” approach, and there is even a struggle for the host. Or rather - for the night with him. Oh yeah! It turns out that in the female world of nighttime entertainment, sex still sometimes comes, but with mutual consent and very large investments in the process of persuasion. It is not customary to pay for the night itself. He's not a prostitute!
It also turned out that both hosts and hostesses are not limited to providing services only in the club. They can be "rented" for the company, say, go to a restaurant or shopping, or just take a walk.
It remained to find out what exactly women spend such money on. In short and very rudely - on psychologists. Working as a host involves the ability to feel what the client needs. Some come for gallant gentlemen, others for brutal machos, others for rude people and "bad boys", others for romantics, and so on. The task of the host is to correctly recognize the trait and meet the expectations. If she wants to be commanded, then you can relax, tell her to "shut up when I'm talking" and whip Dom Perignon with cigars. She will pay for all this with the greatest buzz. In most cases, the hosts just behave ... well, like our well-mannered men: they light a cigarette, give a coat and a hand, say compliments, listen carefully ... You know, to be honest, I didn’t even want to write about it before. I thought I would tell our men, how they will rush here to earn money! Or they will begin to reproach our ladies: they say, you complain that I am bad, and in some places they are ready to pay big money for what I do just like that. Then she changed her mind, decided, let those few remaining gentlemen be proud of themselves, and their ladies take care of them ...
As for the features of appearance and the canons of beauty, I will not write in this material. This is a separate topic that deserves a detailed explanation and "rollback" in the history of Japan, along with a comparison of various socio-economic phenomena.
And yet my European brain continued to torment the question "why?". Why spend so much money, make so much effort, develop and support an entire industry that is essentially based on romantic-platonic flirting?
Here, perhaps, it is time to recall my second shock: Japanese porn. Have you watched Japanese porn? No? Well, great, don't look, because you won't see anything anyway. Japanese porn is, firstly, very quiet, and secondly, pixelated. It would seem - shoot erotica, or what? No, no: here you have close-up shots from different angles, and everything else ... But at the same time, the genitals (of course, without signs of depilation or minimal grooming on both sides) are all pixelated. And everything is very quiet. Concentrated sniffing, like in a library.
In general, I remember that even earlier, when I watched films by Asian directors (the same Kim Ki-duk, and Kurosawa, and Phak Chan-wook), it seemed to me that the way the bed scenes were shot just spoils the whole movie! Everything is fine: the plot, philosophy, editing and camera work, music... but as soon as it comes to eroticism, it becomes somehow embarrassing. It was as if they knew how to shoot the whole film, and on this stage everyone was suddenly confused, and therefore everything was somehow fussy and crumpled.
It's the same with pornography. These are not German-American "matches with violent action comments."
For a long time I could not understand what the meaning was, and then I compared these two phenomena - porn and hostess bars - and I think I understood.
It's about intrigue... understatement... imperfect or unfinished action. That is, “sin” seems to be there, but it seems to be not, nothing happened! And that very pleasant and sweet process of waiting or anticipation is not over. That's what they pay money for! How often do we tell ourselves that in any relationship, the most beautiful time is the “hunt” period? And how often lately we regret that everything ends too quickly with sex, and after it there is no longer and never will be this feeling of lust sucking in the pit of the stomach mixed with curiosity. The Japanese have built an industry of this feeling!!
But let me tell you, what about endorphins, testosterone and estrogen? How about the fact that it was Japan that gave rise to the phenomenon of shunga, an erotic art that originated in the 13th century and survived until the middle of the 19th century. Everything is quite open and not pixelated! It was here that such strange customs as yobai were present. This is when, under the cover of night, a man silently penetrates on the tatami to a woman he likes, well, and ...
Kabuki quarters, red-light districts, legalized prostitution, love hotels, phallus festivals, sex marathons and, in principle, openness to the process of copulation on the one hand, and pixelated porn, separate beds and limited sex in family life on the other. What are these, if not those radical contrasts that I spoke about at the beginning?
This spring, my non-Japanese girlfriends invited me to a phallus festival in Kawasaki Prefecture with them. I didn’t go for a good reason: I then had a “live” copy at my side, it was more useless to me. But rightly amazed at the existence of such an event, she took up desk research. Indeed, the tradition dates back to the 16th century (!!), in the Kanamara Shinto shrine, where the ancient representatives of an even more ancient profession asked for protection from the so-called “toothy vagina” (vagina dentata), which, according to mythology, bit off the penis during intercourse. In short, they prayed for protection from syphilis, and since then every year in Kanamara they honor the saved penis as a symbol of fertility, longevity of the family and healthy childbirth. By the way, the Japanese have always exaggerated the size of the genitals: both in shumga and at festivals. I have no data on plastic surgery to increase the size of the penis, but according to preliminary studies, this is not in great demand here. She personally, too, as mentioned earlier, did not conduct an audit. But according to the stories of fellow guys who regularly encounter “views” in locker rooms and saunas, there is a “forest without trees” ... Well, in general, it is clear that hyperbolization in the pictures is a necessary measure. I don’t even think about starting disputes and conversations on the topic “size is not the main thing”!
So, after returning from Kanamara, the girls shared their impressions: very strange sensations from the presence of penises literally everywhere, very crowded and many come with families, a solemn ceremony of “opening the phallus” took place ... They gave me a souvenir in the form of a lollipop. I think the shape of the lollipop does not need to be described.
In addition to quite harmless festivals and charity events like “Erotica will save the world” (this is when, for the money that goes to donations, you come and touch the breasts of porn movie actresses. Or have fun in the masturbation room. Or both!) , in Japan they still hold the so-called dildo races, they are also sometimes called "racing on fuck cars." Despite the fact that it is not limited to cars, the dildo is sometimes replaced by a completely living person, dressed in all black. And the stands are chanting, placing bets, pushing the participants ... But this is no longer for the faint of heart, you are unlikely to go there with children. Although ... who knows these Japanese?
By the way, one more observation suggests itself in the same material. Do you know why all Japanese phones don't mute when taking a photo, even when the phone is on silent? Protection from pedophiles who are very fond of photographing surreptitiously under the skirts of schoolgirls. Obviously, the scale of the problem was so serious that such measures had to be taken ...
Regularly noting guys in the subway and shops, calmly reading (flipping through, rather) porn magazines, as well as collecting all the material that I published earlier, the question involuntarily arose: was it possible that satiety with pornography gave birth to a whole generation of “satori” in Japan ?
The satori generation are modern boys and girls around the age of 20 (up to 30). In general, the word "satori" has a religious origin and means "enlightenment". In Zen practice, satori have the ability to converge suddenly and mysteriously - the fruit of mental discipline and deep meditation. As Lao Zu, an ancient Chinese Taoist of the 6th century, said, “Those who know do not speak; those who speak do not know. Journalist Michael Hoffman wrote a good article on the subject, explaining: "The satori generation is young people ... who have transcended desire as a feeling in principle."
It would be wrong to say that these are young people who do not need anything. But it is true that they have no passions. The only thing they strive for in this life is to obtain stability and the absence of any risks. They are not ambitious in their work, they do not dream of fame, they do not want to travel (“Why? Spend money, take risks - all parts of the world can be found in Japan!” - a quote from one of the representatives of the generation), and the most surprising thing is that they do not want a relationship . Even so: they don't want sex. He doesn't care about them at all!
Unfortunately, there are no exact statistics on the number of people in this category. But according to interviews and research conducted by the Asahi Shimbun, the satori generation shuns anything that would involve any risk of instability - mental or material. One thing became clear: the openness to pornography and sex of the older generations did not affect the emergence of satori. Rather, they appeared as a result of the economic upheavals of Japan, and at the moment the country has a generation of people disappointed in life, while life itself has not yet seen!
But the older generations, apparently, have fun from the heart. And the popularity of swing clubs, which also hold anniversaries as special events, is another proof of this. This is used by people from 30 to 60 years old (in clubs, at least), and all this is not in some godforsaken areas of the city, but right in Ginza, for example, go - I don’t want to!
How the satori fight the basic instinct, I don't know. I have no answer to the question "how can you not want sex at 20 years old." Yes, and at 30, and at 40, and so on. I also do not have an answer to the question why sex at some almost certain moment, as if by agreement, does not become in the family, but becomes abundant everywhere outside it. It still seems to me that the price for “intrigue” in host and hostess bars is very high, and I don’t understand why go there when you can just flirt with someone for free anywhere.
But I'm not Japanese either. And the Japanese themselves will never give out their military secrets to anyone ...
About a month ago, I did an interview, posting a short note about how a Russian guy can meet a Japanese woman and what to expect from it. Today the ball passes to the female side and we will talk about what a Japanese man is like, his habits, advantages and disadvantages. During the entire month that has passed since the first article, I have been talking on this topic with the girls of our Kanrin Japanese language school, collecting various opinions and stories from personal experience. Therefore, the style of the proposed article will not be an interview, but anonymous stories with an attempt at a little analytics.
To begin with, it is worth saying that Russian (or rather Russian-speaking) girls who dream of meeting a Japanese and even marrying him can be divided into two groups. The girls of one group marry a Japanese man, and the girls of another group marry a Japanese. It's no secret that many seek to the Land of the Rising Sun in search of a better life and new experiences. There are dating sites on the Internet where the Japanese can pick up a lady from the former Soviet Union, for example, Yamasho. As you can see from the link, the page contains profiles with photos and personal data. It is especially interesting to note (at the beginning of the questionnaires) the comments-opinions of the author of the site (in Japanese) for the Japanese about girls, since the selection of questionnaires for this site is not carried out by "self-registration", but by a personal visit to the offices of this agency in different countries and a conversation with a Japanese employee (if necessary through an interpreter). The average age of girls seeking a Japanese man is 25 years old, and the Japanese who apply to this agency are forty years old and they are already quite wealthy people, often after a divorce. Thus, the usual age difference in such marriages is about 20 years.
Of course, one cannot say that all these people are striving to marry “Japan”, but there is also a group of girls who did not seek to leave solely for the sake of marriage, but met Japan and a Japanese due to various circumstances or, already in Japan, simply because for curiosity. These are, for example, students of language schools or universities, people who came to Japan for work. They initially did not have a high language barrier, they have a smaller age difference and close social statuses. At first they communicate as friends, and then the friendship turns into something more.
European appearance in Japan is very popular, even if in Russia a girl is, as they say, a gray mouse, then in Japan she becomes a queen. Girls from Russia, by the way, are held in high esteem - they say they are beautiful and sexy. They turn to Europeans on the street, they often try to talk to them, even at the level of a simple "harrow". I myself, walking with our girls, noticed how young Japanese literally froze with their mouths open, and their necks were about to break from an excessive turn. Once, when I went to a pizzeria with a friend, a handsome young Japanese man immediately spoke to her in English, asking where she came from, etc. If you sit in one of the well-known youth places, for example, on Shibuya, then some Japanese (perhaps a Korean) will definitely come up to you for at least ten minutes and offer to chat, which our girls often use. Shibuya is considered one of the most popular places to start dating here, and in other, less popular places, things are a little worse. For example, as I was told, two friends were lying on the beach, the Japanese passing by were twisting their necks, but they never came to meet.
In general, being in a group, the Japanese become more daring and the chance to meet increases. Passing by, they may say that you are beautiful, and if you react, a relationship will begin.
Another, very real way to get to know each other is the Internet. One of my friends found a Japanese on Facebook, the other also, and their relationship has been successfully lasting for more than one month.
You can also meet in a nightclub, but a nightclub in Japan is associated with a hot place where people behave freely and are more likely to look for easy relationships than pretend to be something serious, and decent girls do not go to nightclubs. However, the appearance of two Russian beauties made a complete sensation at the Atom club, the Japanese immediately began to drive up to them, hug and get to know each other. It got comical.
(he) I live in Saitama.
(she) Oh, it's a different city... (disappointed)
(him) Where are you? Tell me, I'll move where you say!
(he) I'm thirty, and you?
(she) And I'm eighteen.
(he) Twelve years... yes... (appreciatively and thoughtfully)
It is worth noting that Japanese boys under the age of 18 are not allowed into the nightclub.
In general, there are a lot of ways to get acquainted, here are a few more examples told to me:
- The girls in the cafe were doing their Japanese homework, and Japanese high school students were sitting next to them. One of the girls approached them to ask a question about grammar - since then they have been corresponding.
The girl worked in a cafe and a visitor constantly came there. One day, going to the hairdresser, she found that the visitor works there, they got to know each other and have been dating ever since.
So you can get acquainted not only with the Japanese, but also with the Korean. One of my friends met in Shibuya with a Korean who knows five foreign languages well, including Russian!
Well, let's say you have a relationship - what to expect from a Japanese? You can often hear the opinion that Japanese courtship is stingy compared to Russian ones, but, in fact, a lot depends on the individual. Fairy-tale courtship, of course, should not be expected. In Japan, there is no culture of giving flowers, shaking hands and constantly paying on dates. The first time, of course, he will pay for you in a cafe or Disneyland, but then it all depends on the person. For example, I was told about the following dialogue:
(he) Let's go to Disneyland.
(she) U... It's a little expensive...
(he) So I'm crying, but is it not so in Russia?
However, the Japanese are quite trainable, especially those who are truly in love and interested, however, since this habit has not been since childhood, flowers will be presented at the most inopportune moment for this. It is much easier to retrain a Japanese aged 20+ than one who is over 35. That is why the relationship of people with a large age difference is much harder if they were from the same country. And if at first the difference in mentality will amuse, then soon it will just annoy.
Before starting to date, the Japanese always asks for official permission to "become his girlfriend." 僕の彼女になって下さい or 僕とつきあって下さい - a question will be asked to which the girl can answer "yes" or "no". If this is not offered to you, then no matter what kind of relationship you have (even sex) it's just communication. This procedure is not just a phrase, it obliges and in fact is a marriage without a stamp in the passport. Depending on the character of the Japanese, after your consent to a relationship, jealousy may arise on his part, in some cases you may be forbidden to meet with other men at all. You can expect little "pranks" from them, like you take a shower and he hides your bra in the rice cooker.
On dates, young people do things that are the same for every couple. You go to Disneyland and the game center (slot machines for getting items or doing something for speed). You will definitely be photographed in a special machine that prints photo stickers decorated with hearts and stars. The Japanese will cover his cell phone with these stickers, which will cause the envy of his comrades. A trip to nature is possible, including in his car, going to fireworks or launching fireworks on the river bank. At the same time, I want to note that you will mainly do this only together. Communication couple for a couple in Japan among young people is rare, it is more the lot of family.
With all the popularity of European women in Japan, there is a downside to the coin, namely, that there are those to whom the girl will not reciprocate. Moreover, in Japan there are a lot of men who are unsure of themselves, without communication experience. Or they are embarrassed to approach to get acquainted, which is expressed in various types of perversions. There is a chance that you will be followed. He will call you and be silent on the phone, he will watch after work or at the house and follow you, he will ring the doorbell, cover up the peephole, throw garbage in front of the front door, steal linen and even try to rape. Advanced, living alone, Japanese women, in order to ward off potential "maniacs" from their homes, hang men's shorts-families on their balcony. If you know the name of your persecutor, it is enough to contact the police, but if not, then the police will not help much, because there are quite a lot of such people, called "Stooka". Just last week I wrote about a lover of Korean women, and here, let me transfer here a few more stories from my favorite Gaijin Life forum
The girl tells
“One was generally wearing a mask and was waiting in front of my entrance for my return home. He followed me and when I called the elevator, he took off his pants and called out to me. He looked small and floppy.
the other is a seemingly ordinary salariman. parked the car, saw me passing by, clung to the next, almost close and whispered some nonsense. got hit on the head with an umbrella and ran away.
the third is just a bald man in the range of 50-60 years. I was walking home with a friend (we go in the same direction with her, but the houses are different), we talked. he walked all the time behind and, when we separated, he began to rush about, for whom he should cling. it was immediately clear from his behavior and looks at us that something was wrong with him. he stopped all the time to wait, then overtook us, then caught up with us from behind. we parted sharply in different directions and he stopped, looking at us in thought. then he followed me and I confused him with the streets. (a friend called me immediately after that, that she looked back and saw that he followed me in the direction of my house and she was worried how I got there). this one was deceived and confused."
“At first, she briefly outlined the essence of the issue on which she came. The first policeman said “chetto matte” to me and disappeared in the back room for 10 minutes. He returned with a folder of papers in his hands, rummaged through it for a long time, after which it turned out that this folder did not contain forms for my question. He went again to ask the second one where this piece of paper was. They finally found a new piece of paper and began to ask me where I live, where I work, etc., etc. I already began to have a feeling that I did something bad ... Then they asked me five times if I didn’t know the name (probably it would also be desirable and all personal data) of the man chasing me ... his description, etc. In the end, they offered me to get a sound shock and use it the next time I meet this stoker ... To which I replied that I had no desire to meet him again and I prefer that the police stationed 100 meters from my house all- they would take some measures, and also think about the children living in my area... In general, they need to bring him by the hand to the station, as I understand it .... In addition to the fact that I was in the police, today I was not too lazy also go to the fudousan (real estate agency), which once recommended my apartment to me and asked them to hand it over to the owner of the building to make the light in the entrance brighter, change the code number on the front door and scroll back the camera record, which depicts my offender - a maniac and looked at the incident with their own eyes. They promised to do it."
Here's a funny story
"About 7 years ago, I was riding in a crowded carriage along Yamanota. I feel someone put his hand on my back seat and so specifically. I then walked in heels. Well, I think I'll arrange an hour for a friend ... Here he is, young, handsome... I accidentally put a heel on his leg. My hand won't move away. I press harder, thinking to myself what a stubborn comrade I've come across, and with my eyes I hint to him, they say, where you're climbing. my eyes are already bulging too. There are a lot of people in the car, they would be glad to remove their leg - I don’t let go. The hand where it was there and is still moving. I had to take a comrade by the hand - but to the touch it is somehow wrinkled and small, obviously not that young man (she was delighted early). In short, this little man turned out to be about 50 years old. He was half a head shorter than me and I didn’t notice him ... Then I was ashamed in front of that young man. I had to leave the car ... Dedok remained so unpunished "
and here "maniac" Russian
“Kaishcha has moved, now the office is in Ikebukuro. A month ago, one Friday evening, it’s time to go home, and outside the window it’s such a hellish rain, with the wind. No umbrella, no raincoat, and I didn’t have a mood to go to the station for about 15 minutes and somehow get wet "I go to the back room, I cut off such a healthy piece of air packing, with such pimples, I think everyone is in the know. I carefully cut a hole for the head, in the manner of a poncho. I leave holes for the hands, glue the edges with adhesive tape. It turns out such a cape sleeveless jacket to the knees, gy- gee, from this very packaging film with pimples.
Here my fantasy leapt up and I also zaoshchit a hood so pointed, from the same material.
I put on this spacesuit, the manager asks me, they say, are you really going to go to the station like this? I’ll call him, yeah, if anything, I’ll call your cell phone from a koban, gee-gee. And went out into the street.
Well, what can I say - the Sararimans regularly switched to jogging if I walked behind them. Others abruptly crossed the road even at a red light. I caught up with one like that, the sidewalk is narrow, I can’t overtake, I’m walking 3 meters behind. A man like that, with a briefcase, an umbrella - a standard set. He finished cracking his cell phone, and then he heard the packaging rustling behind him. He turns around, and I'm there from under the hood joyfully so "kan-ban-wa", like, good evening. Here we just passed a small crossroads, without a traffic light. The peasant jumped right on the spot, somehow jumped to the side, and just as jumps across the road - give or take - a bunny with a briefcase. On the other side, he walks and squints, isn’t a terrible gaijin wrapped in polyethylene chasing him? Then for the sake of laughter, I pretended that I was going to cross the road - so he again skipped, jumped and jumped in some kind of conbini.
and sad again
“I have been living in Japan for a very long time and as far as I can remember I have constantly come across such chikans and stockers. My most unpleasant meeting with a chikan was remembered for a long time. I then lived in a private house, I rented half the house, and the owners of this house lived in the second part, God's grandparents are dandelions. The house was very large two-story and the owners and I had a separate entrance. In general, it all started with the fact that my underwear began to disappear slowly, I didn’t even think then that there were such eccentrics who underwear is stolen and hung out on the street, I even had a special hanger on the porch, and the entrance from my side to the house was made so that it was not visible to strangers, a very cozy porch.When I suspected this matter, I began to hang ordinary linen on the street , and the underwear in the house. And what do you think, my fan-chikan knocked out the window in the bathroom on the first floor, climbed into the house and stole all my underwear and what was cheerfully washed and in the locker. In general, I was left without panties, then I it was not funny, firstly there were panties that were only on me, and secondly, all the underwear was brought and very expensive. I think the girls who live here know how difficult it is to find good, beautiful and sized underwear. I contacted the police, they took prints, asked what kind of underwear I had lost, in the flesh to the size, color and shape (I was ready to kill them then for such questions), they said kyotsuketa kudasai and left. Six months pass, of course, I already have new panties, and this scumbag again climbs into my house and steals all the panties and bras. I went to the police again, they did the same and promised to patrol the area more often on bicycles, and also their favorite phrase kyotsukete kudasai and that's it. How angry I was then. In general, it all ended with the fact that after the expiration of time, returning home late in the evening, I found scattered photos near the door. One shot was taken from a porn movie close-up of a blonde girl (I'm also a bondinka) doing m....t, I apologize for the details, and the second shot with a member was taken from top to bottom, only the lower part of the body is visible, as I understand it, my fan posed -stoker. I didn’t contact the police anymore, I just quickly found another place to live and moved, but for a long time after this incident I walked and looked around, it always seemed to me that someone was following me. This is one of the cases in my life in Japan, but There were many more after the move. In broad daylight, a 50-year-old man ran up, grabbed his ass with all his might and ran away, then there was a case when a young guy kept circling a bicycle around my house and "scratching his armor", but somehow he got bolder, stopped near the entrance and put it in there hand, waiting for me until I come up, I went up and hit him with all my might with an umbrella, fell on him in earnest. He grunted and rode away on his bicycle. In short, these Japanese are eccentrics."
The reason for the appearance of such a number of different perverts, as well as a huge number of various erotic-pornographic products, may lie in the following. In marriage (Japanese with a Japanese woman) they often behave rather coldly. The husband spends a lot of time at work, the wife takes care of the children. Feelings go away and the husband becomes just a thing for the wife. Sex also becomes rare, when the husband tries to "roll up" the wife begins to shame him, say "what if the children see", etc. Thus, many men leave to look for mistresses on the side, turn to reading porn comics. You can even go further and suggest that such comics are created in protest against personal dissatisfaction, that is, the snake bites its own tail.
By the way, in sex, the Japanese lose to the Russians, both in terms of physiological parameters (read the size) and diversity. At the same time, during the act, they are silent like fish and behave as if at work. Before you start caressing, even before kissing, they will definitely ask permission. On average, the average Japanese has one orgasm per night and, in general, they do not require much - three times a week can even be a lot.
Very often, the Japanese end the relationship with a marriage proposal, and in a short time, measured in literally months. However, your language level and visa status are not particularly required. As for marriages with Koreans, everything is much worse. You will be at the very bottom of his list of importance, after his family. If a Japanese father finds out that his daughter is dating a Korean, his hair will stand on end.
In relations with a Japanese, there are at least two features that positively distinguish him from a Russian man. The first is that it is difficult to quarrel with the Japanese.
- We have never quarreled for four months, - they told me, - if anything, he just apologizes and there is no quarrel.
The second feature is the attitude of the Japanese towards their children, they do not abandon them, and even after a divorce, they continue to provide significant financial support and communicate with them. The Russian concepts of "a single mother" or "to live without a father" with a living parent are practically unknown in Japan.
Osorossia or Seven Reasons for the Popularity of European MenOsorossia
or Seven reasons for the popularity of European men
In old Japanese books, newspapers and / or documents, the name of our country is sometimes found - Orossia. In Japanese, the letter "o" in this case is a prefix that adds politeness and cordiality. For example, okaasan is mother, otousan is father, otomodachi is friends, osake, and so on. But in relation to other countries, it is generally not customary to call them with a prefix, with the exception of France - Ofrance. Maybe it was just a phonetic problem, maybe it was easier for the Japanese to say Orossi and Ofrance, because it is difficult for them to pronounce the consonant sounds "f" or "r". Here the names of the countries America and England are pronounced by the Japanese without any difficulty. Or maybe the old generation of Japanese used to have a better attitude towards Russia. Whatever the case, the word Offrance has been preserved in modern Japanese, but the Japanese are now increasingly calling our dear and indivisible empire Osorossia(Osoroshia, おそろしあ). This word has many meanings and meanings, such as surprise, fear and horror. It's dark humor and a play on words. Although Russian men, like other Europeans, are generally popular with Japanese girls. Recently, my LiveJournal friend Mikhail Mozzhechkov found on a Japanese site seven reasons for the popularity of European men in Japan. Of course, these are not sociological studies, but simply the author's view of this phenomenon. Below is Misha-san's free translation.
There are many foreigners who, upon returning to their homeland, boast that they were very popular with Japanese girls. Indeed, even if a man was not at all popular with women in his homeland, if he is a European (white) from English-speaking countries, as well as from developed European countries, then Japanese girls will completely spoil him. Why are white Europeans so popular with Japanese girls? What is the secret of their success? Here are 7 reasons for the popularity of European men in Japan.
1.Because it is a rarity, a curious little thing.
More and more foreign tourists come to Japan, but a foreigner living in Japan is still rare. Since foreigners are rare, many Japanese men and women think it would be interesting to make friends with him. In addition, a European in Japan attracts general attention, looks are turned to him, and there are girls who would like to take a walk with a foreigner, they look at a foreigner as an ornament, jewelry that attracts attention to her.
2. Attractive appearance of foreign men.
Beautiful eye color, tall stature, long legs, athletic build, pronounced facial features (strongly protruding nose and superciliary arches of Europeans compared to a rather flat Asian face), and so on, often attract Japanese women. However, the opinion of Japanese women is sharply divided in relation to the appearance of foreigners. There are women who like the Asian type, and they are not attracted to foreigners, but there are those who like only Europeans, only blacks, and so on.
3. The assertiveness of foreign men.
It is said that recently there have been much more "herbivorous" Japanese men, and it is true that the assertiveness of the Japanese has weakened. If we compare the Japanese with herbivores, then Europeans are predators. Europeans do not forget to give compliments to the girl they like, and if they fall in love, they talk about it directly. And sweet words of love, which Japanese men are embarrassed, Europeans use easily. Such a seemingly common attitude of Europeans towards the opposite sex makes a strong impression on Japanese women who are unaccustomed to this.
4. How foreigners treat women.
European men are more gallant towards women, more gentle during a date, as well as the well-known principle of "ladies first" (in Japan, a restaurant will serve food to a man first (MM)). In Europe and the USA, men often treat women with care, like a princess, like a part of their body, remaining gentlemen even to women in whom they have no interest, which has been part of the education system since ancient times. This attitude towards women also gives odds to Europeans, giving rise to love among Japanese women.
5. Get to know each other to practice your English.
Even if you are not from an English-speaking country, many Japanese and Japanese women want to speak English with you. Thus, Europeans living in Japan are more likely to meet. Even if we consider that not many people want to have an affair with a foreigner, there are more than enough people who want to learn how to speak English better in Japan. And as long as Japanese women think about how to improve their spoken English, interest in foreigners will not wane.
6.Because we are in Japan only temporarily...
The feeling that a foreigner is in Japan not for long, but only for a short period of time, accelerates the development of relations between a man and a woman. There are men who, to seduce women, use a phrase like "well, I'm only in Japan for ... months.) Well, often Europeans who have come for a short time are looking for easy, frivolous love from girls who are easy-going, which also contributes to the legends about their popularity in Japan...
Good for a sailor - a girl is waiting for him in the port.
It's good for the pilot - a girl is waiting for him at the airport.
Good for a trucker - a girl is waiting for him in the parking lot.
And only the girl feels bad - either to the port, then to the airfield, then to the parking lot.
7. Japanese women who love foreigners.
There is a separate type of Japanese women who want to learn English, they want a foreign boyfriend. Many of them were on a short study abroad and therefore they do not like much in Japan. A lot of girls who fall in love with foreigners are a little obsessed with it, from the class of those who pour phrases "... but in America ...". Such girls, even if they do not respond at all to the calls of Japanese men, if a foreigner says "well, you are KAWAII, let's go to the bar together", then they will gladly agree and run. And there are not many of them.
“I'm going to write an article about Japanese love,” I said to my friend, a Russian girl who had been married to a Japanese man for five years. “How can you write about something that doesn’t exist?” she wondered.
I think my friend is wrong. Of course, there is love in Japan - in all its manifestations. Including those about whom we know little, and completely in vain, because every year for about ten years now, about 300 of our compatriots have been marrying Japanese. What draws them there? It is not difficult to answer this question, because only three solutions are possible (according to the degree of prevalence): money; Love; that's how life has been. We will talk about how it develops further, and how it will develop in the future, a little later, but for now a few words about Japanese men.
Japanese men really dislike Kim Jong Il. And it's not just about politics. It's just that too many local "gentlemen" prefer blondes. Too many of them liked to brag about their sexual "exploits" (without quotes, this word is not applicable in this context) on the Internet. Chat "I love blondes" broke all attendance records until it was opened by an unknown hacker. Now, instead of the intimate revelations of elderly Japanese womanizers, a huge portrait of the North Korean leader hangs in the chat. And rightly so. I don't sympathize with those Japanese people who visited the virtual network, longing to see blue eyes and white hair. They don't like Russian women. They love beautiful things. Preferably inexpensive but good quality.
When, after the collapse of the USSR, our girls rushed to Japan to earn money, a fashion for white brides arose here very quickly. I must say that over the past few decades, Japanese men have been most attracted to the following series of "sexual lures": bound women, schoolgirls, white women (preferably with white hair). With the help of our girls, the third point of the program was finally completed. The Japanese rushed to buy Russian brides like expensive cars or paintings by famous artists. Some of these Japanese husbands fell in love with their new wives. I know such couples and I am sincerely happy for both sides. And here are the others...
We are sitting in a restaurant with five Japanese people. We met to discuss a completely different problem, but over beer it suddenly turned out that all (!) They love Russian girls and are either married to them or are going to do so in the near future. Revelations rained down one after another: “Comparing Russian and Japanese women is cruel to Japanese women!”, “Russians are real beauties, but only up to 25 years old!”, “When I’m 50, I already have everything and I want a young, beautiful wife with white skin and white hair! But not for long - in a year or two I'll get tired of it, and I'll buy another one. It should be noted that the youngest of the interlocutors over 50 is a critical Japanese age. Burdened with hard work in the firm and the accumulation of money for housing, the Japanese under 50 pay little attention to their personal lives. But then… Perhaps the most sexually preoccupied category of the population of Japan is employees of firms entering the pre-retirement age. It is they who frantically leaf through porn comics in trains, they make up the majority of buyers in sex shops, they go for brides to cold Russia. However, many of them turn out to be insolvent as men, and they need white wives only as an indicator of prosperity, along with a Rolex watch and a Louis Vuitton wallet. Husbands work during the day and get drunk in the evening - they do what they have been doing all their adult lives, because they simply do not know how to behave differently. Russian girls, who are not accustomed to such treatment, or rather, to its complete absence, replenish our colony in Japan, go to the Russian club, get bored and entertain themselves. Explaining to the Japanese that the best bride for a 55-year-old man is not yesterday's student, but a woman closer to him in age is as useless as asking a stone to roll off the road on its own.
The first story is strange. She is a professor's daughter from Moscow, she is 24. He came for a Russian bride when he turned 52. After the divorce, she didn't care. They lived together for five years without ever having sex. Sometimes in the evenings he talked to her, sometimes not. Once every two weeks he took her to a restaurant, once every three months he took her on a tour of Japan, once every six months - abroad. He gave some money for food and supported her family in Russia. She spent those years in anguish and boredom. When she asked "why do you need me?", he answered "because she is beautiful." In the end, she returned back to Russia.
Almost every day, Russian girls come to the Russian consulate in Japan to receive a "Certificate of the absence of obstacles to marriage." A large part of them came to Japan to work. Marriage is a source of income for them. It happens (and often) that such brides, when they come to the Russian consulate to process documents, are not able to remember the names of their “chosen ones”. Many of these Russian wives earn extra money in hostess clubs and in marriage they behave in accordance with the psychology of hostesses, extorting money from their husbands with inexorable pumps. Japan is a great country, it’s cozy and comfortable to live here, if you don’t need anything other than money and peace of mind. These girls are lucky - they found an earthly paradise for themselves.
The second story is dramatic. She is from Novosibirsk. He is the owner of a small restaurant. The age difference is 15 years. He works all day. She is bored all day long. Once she had a boyfriend - an Iranian named Ali. Every evening he began to come with her to her husband's restaurant, they flirted in public. The husband saw everything, understood, went crazy, but was silent - he loves her. She wanted to leave Japan with her lover. He refused and instead began to come to her house, not embarrassed by the presence of her husband, followed her, molested her. She complained to her husband and the lover disappeared. Peace in the family has been restored. She is not going to leave Japan yet.
In addition to money, marriage with a Japanese can bring other joys. It is important to comply with certain conditions. In addition to the fact that the bride and groom should not have a difference in years by two or three times, it is good if the Japanese are not very similar to the Japanese in their mentality. Or vice versa - the girl should not be completely Russian in her worldview. Then the wife has a real chance to find a common language with her husband. We are not talking about a language barrier - almost all Russian wives speak Japanese. It's just that many local husbands barely talk to their wives. And I don't know if it's bad. Most likely, it's normal - that's their mentality. Another friend of mine is a specialist in Japanese culture, quite happily married to a Japanese husband (child is 4 years old). They also have a slight age difference, and his silence fascinates her: “He loves me so much! This is immediately evident - he is silent all the time. He doesn't seem to notice me at all. Only the eyes are like slits and thick lips are compressed: you can immediately see that he loves. Perhaps it is. The classic of Japanese literature Yukio Mishima wrote: “The ideal of love is secret love. Expressed love loses its dignity. My only fear is that most contemporary Japanese have not read Mishima, nor have their newly-married wives. It’s sad, but more often you hear about another indicator of silent love: “I’m ready for anything for me: gives money for every sale. They even laugh at him at work, but he endures. He comes home and is silent, silent ... Just a Japanese Romeo! Even sadder when everything happens exactly the opposite.
The third story is sad. She is from Sakhalin, graduated from the theater institute. Came to Japan to work. In the club I met a Japanese - the owner of a small bar. Got married. He took her home - to the province. She began working as a waitress in his bar. He made Russian mistresses one by one, bringing them all to a bar, introducing his wife and forcing her to serve them. In the evenings he would come home drunk and fight. When he began to return not alone, she fled. Traveled to Russia illegally. Where she is now, I don't know.
Over the past 5-7 years, the number of Russian colonies in this country has increased from about 1,000 to 10,000 people. Approximately - because a significant part of our compatriots lives here with expired visas, that is, in fact, illegally. However, most Russian wives have visas. Together with scientists and interns, they form the basis of our community in this distant land. Today we can already talk about the second (after 1917-1922) wave of emigration to Japan. In this regard, the question arises: what will be the future of the Russian colony?
Many of the Russian wives have Russian children. A considerable number of these people came to Japan by accident. A typical example is a woman after a difficult divorce trying to forget herself, to change her surroundings, her place of residence ... An announcement comes to hand: “I am looking for a bride” or a friend from the Dating Bureau meets. The child by the hand and on the plane ... They were lucky - their children still remember Russia, Russian grandparents, they speak Russian. Most of the children who gave birth in mixed marriages here in Japan are not yet aware of the problems that lie ahead of them. I have talked to people who have lived in this country for decades. They are Russians. But who their children are, they do not know. A Russian woman who has given birth to a child from a Japanese should be prepared for the fact that this child will look more and more like a Japanese. Not only outwardly, although, as a rule, it is so. The problem is different. Japan is a mono-ethnic state. There are few foreigners here (only about 2% of the population) and they constantly feel the powerful pressure of the majority. Especially the children. The mother can speak Russian with the child at home. In kindergarten, this will cause ridicule and bullying. A mother can teach a child Russian literature. At school, he will be forced to put these “fanaberias” out of his head. A mother can teach a child Russian songs. At school, he will learn different types of bows, and get used to covering his mouth with his palm while laughing. Being a half-blood - "hafu" is hard here, and even if you yourself give up your origin, others will remember him. If a woman wants to live in Japan and give birth to children here, she must understand that over time her child will become Japanese - for her, and will never become one - for everyone else. Alienation is inevitable.
Another friend of mine, who married a Hispanic Japanese descent, told how her little daughter, returning from kindergarten, said:
- Mom, I painted your portrait!
- Why is your hair black? I have white ones.
- I don't want you to have white hair! All mothers are black, yours are white. Don't want! It's bad when not like everyone else.
Hair had to be dyed. Not in a portrait. On the head. And this is just the beginning.
The fourth story is even more dramatic. She is from the Far East. He came specially to marry a Russian. He courted beautifully - “like in a movie”: he gave flowers (a wild thing for the Japanese), rode in a taxi, kissed his hand. She married him. He brought her to his home - to a village at the foot of Mount Fuji. His parents and older brother lived in the house - an idiot. In front of the house is a rice field - she spent almost a year on it. They fed her the same rice. They didn’t let them out, they didn’t give money. She stole change from his wallet to get to the city. She ran. Hiding in Tokyo with an old friend - a Russian wife. A friend helped with the work - she went to the hostess club. There she met a young Algerian - Richie, fell in love. From her youth, doctors diagnosed her with infertility. A few months after meeting Richie, she became pregnant. The child decided to leave. The visa had expired by then. Richie does too. Now the child is two years old, they still live in Japan. What will happen next, she does not know.
Every month in the office of the largest Japanese airline that sells tickets for Aeroflot flights, at least one call is heard from a Russian girl trying to run away from her "beloved" husband. Many do it in a less adventurous way. But they are still much smaller than the brides who almost every day marry a Japanese. In Tokyo, "recruits" are easy to recognize. A Japanese pensioner leads a girl by the hand a head taller than him. She has a perfect figure and white hair. He tells her something about temples in broken English. She nods absently, looks away, and turns away when she sees me—compatriots identify each other unmistakably here. I know how her marriage will end. She seems to know it too.
The fifth story is happy. She is from Khabarovsk. He is from the Japanese province, a descendant of a militant samurai clan, who became an engineer. He is sociable, generous, jealous, noble, spontaneous. She is beautiful, smart, funny. The age difference is about 10 years. They met by chance and have been together for 4 years. They love each other very much - it can be seen even from the outside. They often quarrel, but they always put up one more time. He learns Russian and calls his wife "Lyublyuchka". They have a lot of problems. But they are happy for now. I really hope that they will always be happy.
Russian wives in Japan read website I know it. I know that now, after reading this article, many of them took offense at me. In vain - if you recognize yourself, think about what you will do in Japan when you turn 50 and your children finish school, stop speaking Russian, but they will not be hired because they are foreigners here. If your marriage is happy, I am sincerely happy for you. If not, I hope you can solve your problems.
What happens to Japanese women when they start dating foreigners? What do guys look like in the eyes of Japanese girls?
A Japanese woman shares her PERSONAL experience.
Relations with a foreigner cause Japanese women to have a strong sense of their own superiority. The younger the girl, the higher the likelihood that she will become arrogant. Now even those Japanese women who say that they are enraged by such girls also become arrogant if they enter into a relationship with a foreigner. It often happens that Japanese women, who used to despise the arrogant people who meet with foreigners, once in their place, begin to be arrogant in the same way.
Actually, it happened to me too. During my student years, I lived in a hostel for foreign students, so I often saw foreign guys go on dates with Japanese women. At that time, I had a negative attitude towards love between representatives of different countries and even considered girls who date foreigners to be stupid. I've always been annoyed by these girls trotting behind their boyfriends with a proud look: "I can speak English, right, I'm cool?"
But when I myself started dating a foreigner, a lot has changed. Gradually, without even noticing it, I became more and more arrogant. There were two main reasons for this, in my opinion.
First, the envy of others. If you start dating a foreigner, everyone will definitely admire you. And friends and acquaintances, what’s really there, even sellers in stores, if they see you with a guy in a cafe or on the street, they will definitely say: “Oh, how great!”, “Keep it up, guys!”
“Cool!”, “Where did you meet?”, “Wow, he is so cool, and speaks a different language!”, “Oooh, a foreign guy! I want too!”, “Will you introduce me to his foreign friends?”, “What a cool guy! He has such a beautiful eye color!”, “And foreigners are really tall!”, “How courageous he is!”
In Japan, it's normal to be praised like that. Later, I learned that people abroad would not have such a reaction. It is not uncommon to see Japanese in relationships or marriages with foreigners there. However, in Japan, relations with Europeans or Americans are very rare. That's probably why so many people make laudatory comments.
But this is where the Japanese women begin to misunderstand. Hearing endless praise from everywhere, they begin to mistakenly consider themselves incredibly beautiful, which looks rather ridiculous in the eyes of others. If you think that I'm telling a lie, try to start dating a foreigner yourself. There are many girls in Japan who are very proud of this alone.
My friend once said this:
“I never wanted to date a foreigner, but when I see that some of my girlfriends have a boyfriend from abroad, for some reason I automatically give out a compliment: “Wow, how cool!””
Therefore, there is no need to praise. It may seem that I put all the blame on others, but nevertheless it is these incomprehensible empty compliments that make the girls arrogant. After all, initially they understand that this is just flattery. But, if you hear pleasant words from time to time, you can involuntarily begin to fully believe in them. Nobody benefits from these compliments. Yes, and does not do anything commendable. So just don't praise.
But after all, I have not yet named the main reason for the arrogance of Japanese women. And these are the “words of love” of foreigners. It is usually said that Europeans and Americans are very active in their love, and their confessions are something in general. But my impression of these guys is this: foreigners, without a shadow of embarrassment, pronounce words of love one after another, so sweetly that teeth can start to loosen from it. On a birthday or at Christmas, they try this way and that way to please their soulmate.
Europeans and Americans seem to say to themselves: "Gentlemen should always be ready to caress a girl!" - they are so accommodating. And those foreigners who, deep down, despise girls, hide it better than the Japanese. But we can say that their tenderness is just a manifestation of culture. Therefore, it often happens that Japanese women, who always said with displeasure that “all men are the same,” stop thinking so when they meet a foreigner.
And it's pretty creepy. It's as creepy as when they say about an inexperienced girl in a nightclub: "How pretty she is." Is he really that gentle with me? Does he really appreciate me that much? Does he really treat me like the best girl in the world? .. At the beginning of a relationship, the reaction of Japanese women is just that.
And at that moment, the girl starts to think: “I don’t want to date Japanese guys anymore. There are men in the world who appreciate me so much. And from the Japanese, I have never even heard beautiful confessions. They're generally boring."
I think that's probably how contempt for Japanese men is born. So, Japanese boys, enough! We do not need such comparisons! Otherwise, because of one girl, people can start criticizing all the Japanese.
And the arrogant girls clearly do not have enough conversation with their elders. So I will share with you one secret:
❤ THIS SUPERIOR FEELING WILL GO SOON! ❤
The feeling of greatness due to happy love with a foreigner does not last long. There are, of course, women who have already married, had children and still say: “Mai Darling is a foreigner!” But this happens very rarely. Get married, get used to each other. All the magic will dissipate by that moment, and real life will begin here.
After all, in fact, marriage with a foreigner is not so great. You may start to have thoughts like: “For it to be like this, you had to marry a Japanese.” Of course, the relationship with a foreigner is wonderful. But months, years, will pass, and you will notice that foreigners are not necessarily superior to the Japanese. Not even like that. You will understand that in itself such a comparison is complete nonsense.
In general, arrogance in relations with a foreigner is a passing thing.
As they say in France: “There are good marriages in the world, but pleasant ones are rare.” I think it doesn't matter here whether we are talking about Japanese or foreigners.
Love is nice, but marriage is not.
So, if you ever get angry when you see a arrogant Japanese woman, you can certainly be understood. But forgive her! For now, she is happy. Immeasurably, madly, impossibly happy.