The director of the Vladimir dating agency "Me and You", a family psychologist, a consultant on interpersonal relations, Elena Kuznetsova, revealed some - mostly tips related to communication by phone, via SMS and the Internet.
1. "I couldn't speak"
No need to check your phone every minute, being afraid. On the contrary, it is worth playing a little with a man and not picking up the phone for a couple of hours. However, it is imperative to follow the rules of this "game" even after a long pause, so that the gentleman does not take offense at the fact that you are ignoring him. State in the conversation a good reason why you did not pick up the phone. For example: “I didn’t hear the bell because I was in the pool”, or: “I was in training” ...
The mechanics of this psychological technique is simple. A man who could not get through to you, and thus, there is an emotional attachment.
“He is worried. He thinks more and more about you. So he would phone you, talk, find out everything for himself and switch to his own affairs. But the conversation did not take place, and the man cannot let go of the situation and do his work. He worries about the woman he likes. Plus there are throwing: “Where is she? Why is she silent? “... There is an emotional attachment, and the man swallows the “hook” more strongly, the psychologist states.
At the same time, Elena Kuznetsova warns that the technique is good only in the early stages, and it should not be abused. A man will simply start asking you what time you can call, since you are so busy, and the intrigue will disappear. In addition, if the girl suddenly does not pick up the phone at the designated time, this may adversely affect the further development of relations.
2. Answer all SMS from a newly minted gentleman briefly
Men generally like it when ladies answer them briefly and to the point. But when a representative of the weaker sex indulges in long explanations, she often "burrows" in emotions, and the partner does not understand the concept of what has been stated.
3. Wait at least two hours before answering the very first SMS from a boyfriend
In this case, the psychological reception will be similar to the reception with missed calls.
4. SMS or Internet correspondence should not take too long
If your relationship is just beginning, and everything has passed, you do not need to “hang” on the phone for the whole day. SMS or Internet communication should be short so as not to offend the interlocutor by “ignoring”, but not drag out for two or three hours, otherwise you risk annoying the man. Remember the fairy tales of Scheherazade: intrigue, and then tactfully complete the dialogue so that the man burns with desire, moreover, in person.
In this case, Kuznetsova advises to adapt to your partner, to feel him. If the boyfriend asks about something, “leads” the topic, just react - a woman should never pull the blanket over herself at all. If a lady has questions for a man, they need to be voiced, but observe correctness and measure. If, you don’t need to cut him off in mid-sentence with a message: “I went, I need to take pies to my grandmother.” With your neglect, you will simply offend the gentleman.
But clear signs that you need to quickly turn off the conversation may be as follows: the man began to answer dryly, or does not answer at all, but sends only emoticons. That is, there are no more words left, the interlocutor is on his last legs. It is better not to bring it to such a state and say goodbye as soon as the topics discussed have exhausted themselves.
“Long correspondence can negate desire live - if it is so tiring, even without being around, then what will happen when you date?” - says the psychologist.
5. Don't make social media your online diary by posting hourly photos of what you're currently doing.
An open demonstration of one's life. If at first a man may be interested in watching you, then pretty soon he will get bored of it, because he will know everything about you - what time do you get up, how long do you brush your teeth, what do you eat for breakfast and so on.
Another disadvantage of the “Internet demonstration” is that a man, having studied the photos, may consider your pastime empty and worthless: they drank coffee with one girlfriend, went shopping with another, met at the movies with a third. Plus, a fan can get jealous, because you are not with him, but with a girlfriend you see every day.
6. Messages after midnight at the first stages of dating should be banned, because serious girls are already sleeping at this time. Even if it's not true
There should be a taboo for late correspondence at the beginning of a relationship. Still, it is important to take care of your reputation. But as soon as you can chat with your loved one until the morning. All this is appropriate. Romance has not been cancelled.
7. No need to “live” on his page in social networks and constantly comment on posts and photos
Everything should be correct, polite and dosed. No need to stand out from the rest of the users and focus on the fact that "I'm his girlfriend."
8. Do not use a lot of emoticons in correspondence
Emoticons are a great way to more accurately express your attitude to a situation, because it is not always clear in correspondence. However, do not abuse the "emotion icons", especially if yours does without them. Try to keep emoticons to a minimum if you can't do without them.
9. Intrigue in moderation
The woman, of course. To "hook" a man, you need to intrigue him, however, it is important not to overdo it. Be mysterious, but at the same time at least a little predictable. The boyfriend wants to feel feedback and interest in himself. If you overdo it with intrigues, keeping a man in the dark about whether you will come on a date today, not come, whether he will be able to see you tomorrow, or not, you will lose. It is important for the representative of the stronger sex to know that all his efforts to conquer. Otherwise, the man becomes uninteresting, and he switches to someone else.
If you have questions for psychologist Elena Kuznetsova, you can ask them by writing a letter to the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir: [email protected] .
Reading time 11 minutes
The psychology of communication between men and women is a special topic of interest to many, this knowledge is necessary to build harmonious relationships. The main secret is that men and women are very different at the genetic level, they differ in their perception of the world, their reaction to life, and the ways of interaction. Our mistake is to equal ourselves, hope and demand the same attitude, understanding in everything.
The problems of communication in psychology have always been relevant, the emergence of misunderstanding, confrontation has clear reasons, factors. Communication arises as a process of interaction between people for the purpose of exchanging information, understanding, establishing a connection between people.
The structure of communication in psychology involves ways of expressing thoughts in verbal (words, speech) and non-verbal forms (gestures, facial expressions). Moreover, it is noticed that women more often use non-verbal ways of interaction. Information is presented in various forms, coded - written, oral.
In the article we will analyze the main differences between men and women, which should be taken into account in communication, when meeting, in family life. Information will be the key to the world of the opposite sex, to people "from another planet." What do men and women need? Why are we so different? These questions have been troubling people for centuries.
In the course of biological evolution, development since ancient times, nature has laid differences in structure and perception at the physiological level. To establish mutual understanding between a man and a woman, it is necessary to understand the features laid down by nature, let's turn to the research of science and psychology. As a result of observations, experiments, scientists noticed the following facts:
The psychology of communication between men and women takes into account differences at the physiological level. Moreover, the characteristics of the body are inextricably linked with mental reactions, perception of the world. In the next section, we will pay attention to the features of behavior, psychological features.
The psychology of communication between a man and a woman involves understanding each other, our differences in the perception of life, reactions, special rules of the female and male world.
Psychological characteristics of a woman:
- men are focused on business, action, are less prone to emotional outbursts;
- rarely discuss their problems, try to solve them themselves or with close friends;
- give advice when asked;
- need trust, the beloved woman must believe him;
- they do not like to be remade, they are taught to live;
- need admiration, recognition of merit;
- approval of actions, praise are necessary for them, like air;
- encouragement of good deeds, gratitude for help stimulate new aspirations;
- a man expresses love through concrete deeds (helping his beloved), helping to solve complex problems, through intimate relationships;
- men are inspired to exploits, feeling that they need their woman.
Thus, the psychology of communication between a man and a woman is based on mutual understanding, respect, recognition of the presence of special reactions in the opposite sex to life, emotions, manifestations of feelings; understanding of this issue positively affects the establishment of effective interaction, the creation of a strong family.
Rules for communication between men and women
The psychology of communication between a man and a woman involves the establishment of special rules of behavior, the norms necessary to maintain good relations, establish contacts. Recommendations are based on differences in the psyche of men and women. From childhood, we notice peculiarities in behavior, hobbies, manifestations of reactions, but we rarely understand ways to establish trusting, honest relationships for many years.
An important truth is that the psychology of a good relationship between a man and a woman is based on an understanding of physical and mental differences. The formation of thinking, attitude to life, everyday life, family is historically conditioned. A man is not always able to understand the emotionality of women, and women - the vulnerability of pride and the desire for self-realization of men.
We wish you to always find mutual understanding and live in harmony with your loved one!
You only asked 15 times a day what the guy was thinking about and you can already observe a nervous tic on his courageous face? Or they took out a thousand and one stores, without buying a hair clip “with such a green trinket, like Sveta from the next entrance”, ignoring complaints, groans and curses in an undertone?
Well, dear, in this situation, I can safely “wang”: even the most patient guy will not stay near you for a long time.
7 golden rules for the psychology of communicating with guys: we become the most charming and attractive for him
Rule number 1 on the psychology of communicating with guys: “What is such a mistake?”
So, remember forever: guys don't make mistakes. Never. And if you force him to publicly admit to a mistake, then he will not forgive you for this until the end of the century.
Yes, even if all the maps of the world, road signs and traffic cops showed a right turn, and your loved one turned left and got in the wrong place, then everyone except him will be to blame, right down to the gopher crossing the road.
My dad still, when he can’t fix something at home, “nods” at the weather, feeling unwell, and most importantly, they say, my mother didn’t look hand in hand. And God forbid say something like: “Maybe we’d better call a plumber?” .
So if you want to be known as a genius of communication with guys, meet any of their “jambs” with a win-win phrase: “Hmm, how interesting it turned out.”. And you will definitely appreciate it.
Rule No. 2 of the psychology of communicating with guys: "On the sly"
Initially, not a single guy is tuned in to the notorious "They lived happily ever after and died on the same day." Regular, but not serious relationship with elements of intimacy is what 99% of guys dream of.
And only after you managed to hang out with his friends, praise your mom’s pies and help write a thesis in higher mathematics, the thought can be born in a bright head: “But she’s nothing like that ...”.
Therefore, a young lady who has a serious look at a guy and understands the psychology of relationships will be a quiet step - and no cavalry attack, because you are not a mustachioed lieutenant.
Rule number 3 of the psychology of communication with guys: “Praise me, praise me!”
Never, you hear, never interrupt a guy, even when he openly goes over your ears about foreign business trips, top models in love with him and earnings unprecedented in your seedy town.
Never doubt (at least with a guy) in his mind and beauty, that is, let me win the Alpha Male of the Year competition, at least in your eyes.
No, you are not feeding his ego - you are literally growing your boyfriend's wings to achieve everything that he "rubs" you about.
“Well, how can I explain to you ... Well, I hung noodles on the girl’s ears, lied, but she doesn’t neigh like a draft horse, but only nods quietly and rustles with long eyelashes. And I understand: I’ll jump out of my shorts, but I’ll do what I was talking about - and I’ll sit down for the English language, and I’ll open my own small business, and I’ll carry my beloved in my arms through a puddle, because I need to comply. And if, on the contrary, they shut us up, they say, you don’t succeed, then we are happy to “relax the rolls”, - friend Andrey, a psychologist by education, was frank with me.
And judging by the fact that the guy has a successful private practice, his wife Marina praises Andrei 50 times a day.
Rule number 4 of the psychology of communication with guys: “Less words, more action!”
So the Creator ordered that the guys are cute creatures, but indecently logical, that is, every action must have its own reason.
So, future experts in the psychology of communication: for a man, the only worthwhile reason to open his mouth is either to eat or to say something in essence, to convey information.
And women's chatter tires them worse than three hours in the gym. Therefore, if you need a guy to pick you up from the train, say so, and don’t “weave in” a story about how your girlfriend got from the station with a pervert taxi driver and how it all ended.
Do you want flowers? Don't be silly, just say: “Sun, I would be very pleased if you would give me my favorite red roses in the amount of 9 pieces from time to time. You can buy it at a kiosk near our house, a bouquet costs 300 rubles, and the saleswoman’s name is Aunt Anya”.
We guarantee that the guy will be delighted that there is a specific task, and not “go there, I don’t know where.”
And one more thing: no Apocalypse will happen if you just keep quiet for a couple of minutes on a date with a guy. It is not necessary to fill the pauses in the conversation with empty chatter.
For example, I have acquaintances Dima and Anya - a loving couple of artists. So, I somehow jumped into the bus, and the guys silently sat in front of me, each "on his own wave." I was just worried: is it really my sweet couple "Twix" quarreled?
And they, such bastards, who made me nervous, after 30 minutes of complete silence, got off the bus and began kissing “for joy” to the grannies at the bus stop. Well, isn't it cute?
Rule No. 5 of the psychology of communicating with guys: "Iron Mask"
Whatever the scale of the disaster in your boyfriend's life - from the loss of his favorite pair of socks to the loss of his job - he will keep the "poker face". Well, of course, in parallel to "digest" the situation that drove into world sorrow.
And if, instead of just being there, you start to "wind up" yourself and him, to find out what happened, then there is every chance of being left without this very guy. Who else wants to deal with you?
By the way, this very “iron mask” does not allow your boyfriend to be touched by cats, roar over the melodrama with Julia Roberts and listen to “Hands Up”. Yes, and confess to you in sympathy / falling in love / love to the grave (underline as necessary) - too.
And since he once, blushing and turning green, bleated to you “I love you!”, Then be kind - do not force you to repeat this heroic deed every day. As the joke says: "If anything changes in my attitude towards you, I will let you know" .
Rule number 6 on the psychology of communicating with guys: “herd instinct”
Ever since those distant times, when our ancestors hunted for mammoths, it was written in the subcortex of men that it would be more convenient to do this together.
Well, mammoths eventually died out, but the habit of straying into "flocks" remained. And it doesn’t matter what exactly unites the guys - a bare-bellied childhood, hatred for the tyrant boss or an ardent love for the Viagra group.
A girl who understands the psychology of relationships will not try to prevent this - on the contrary, she herself will try to join her boyfriend's company, in extreme cases she will let her beloved hang out with friends, and in the meantime she will go about her own business.
In the end, the nails themselves in the shade "Lemon Explosion" will not be painted!
Guy Psychology Rule #7: The Dying Swan
This woman can, without batting an eyelid, go to give birth in a regional maternity hospital without hot water and heating, and for a guy, even a temperature of 37.2 is almost a fatal disease when a will is written and a priest is called for confession.
But do not try to convince the guy that all these snot-colds are nonsense, it’s better to take pity on the poor fellow in his “dying” state - feed him chicken broth, tuck in the blanket and download his favorite TV shows to his laptop.
Well, if you want the guy to quickly perk up, carry out these manipulations in a sexy nurse costume. Healing effect guaranteed!
Technique for communicating with guys. What are the trump cards of the psychology of communication?
Girls, take note!
5 Amazing Books on the Psychology of Relationships with Guys and More: To Boost Your Emotional Intelligence!
If your dream is the “God” level in the psychology of relationships with guys, you can’t do without explanatory books:
Armed with our tips and tricks from these relationships with guys, we're sure you won't flunk a conversation with a charming stranger at a party or fail on a first blind date.
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Maintaining interest in a relationship between a man and a woman is a more difficult task than winning a man's attention. And here, as in any dynamic process, the constant personal growth of the fair sex, the continuous development of her individual positive qualities and the ability to build a dialogue with her loved one play an important role.
Important! Today, taking care of yourself and having an attractive appearance at any age is very simple. How? Read history carefully Marina Kozlova Read →
The psychological feature of all men without exception is the desire to hear their echo and see their shadow. This does not mean that a woman should turn into one and the other unconditionally, but the fact that you can win the attention of a loved one only by copying his steps from time to time and speaking his words is an absolute truth.
Male interest in a person of the opposite sex is not always dictated by the desire for a serious relationship. After all, the first assessment given by a man to a woman he likes is, after all, a tribute to visualization (the way a lady looks, how desirable and attractive she is). In second place in importance is the manner of communication, represented by two complementary processes:
- verbal transmission. This is what a woman says when communicating with a man in person or writes by typing text via SMS.
- non-verbal transmission. This is “body language”, which is perceived by naive men as a completely unconscious factor and which is not difficult for a woman to turn in her favor, having at least a minimum of knowledge about the psychology of communication.
In 9 cases out of 10, a man initiates an acquaintance and offers a woman further communication, obeying her invitation signals. And, on the contrary, only 5 people out of a hundred are ready to invite a girl on a date who is opposed to this individual with hidden hostility. All this speaks of the great power of the implicit, peeping through the framework of moral conventions, non-verbal communication.
It is important for any man to know that he will not be refused when trying to get close, so he will always wait for a sign from a girl that could be interpreted unambiguously. He will wait for exactly such signs in the future. If a woman understands this from the very beginning and does not reproach her partner for “rags”, but skillfully leads him in the right direction, the relationship can be considered strong and established.
But often even a stormy romance ends in nothing. The collapse occurs at a turning point in the transition of relations to a new stage, when both partners overestimate the mutual influence on each other and their own importance in the eyes of the satellite. The world of sensations ceases to bring novelty to relationships, the accumulated experience gives way to the first conclusions. And during this period, it is very important for a woman to learn how to build a dialogue, first of all, a non-verbal dialogue in which a man wants to participate.
The combat arsenal provided by default to every woman and which can turn any situation in her favor is:
- voice control (timbre);
- meekness and tenderness;
- patience and care;
- unquenchable passion for a partner;
- self-sufficiency.
As can be seen from the above, only the last item contains qualities that a woman will really have to develop in herself. The rest of the qualities are easy to learn and introduce them into everyday life as good habits, even if sometimes you have to pretend (and sometimes you have to).
If you can call our words and phrases addressed to a man the front side of communication, then the timbre of the voice, its color in warm or cold tones is the wrong side, which, as everyone knows, should be soft, comfortable and not prick. There is information about one old study, conducted back in Soviet times. The male subjects assessed their internal sensations by listening to the voices of different women coming to them from the telephone receiver. Within a few minutes allotted for the experiment, they managed to listen to several phrases from 5-7 women they did not know. Here are the conclusions:
- 95% of the subjects after 8 seconds of communication were ready to openly admit their sympathy for the owners of a deep, “velvet” voice. Such a timbre inspired them with calmness, self-confidence and pictured in their imagination a beautiful, slender lady with a whole nature.
- Almost all the men admitted that a woman's voice, slightly hoarse and breathy, aroused erotic fantasies in them. This affected not only the subconscious level, but also the physiological one.
- Girls with a sharp, shrill voice were considered pleasant only by individuals who unconsciously strive for the role of a child in the family. These are the men who welcome the supremacy of a woman in all aspects of life and are quite content with the modest position of "the husband of his wife."
- High, childish voices, on the contrary, attracted those who are not ready to put up with the equality of a woman and seek, rather, to “adopt” a life partner, giving her care and attention, and in return demanding unconditional submission.
Of course, there is a fan for every feature. But if we are talking about how to bind a man to yourself for a long time and remain invariably attractive to him, it is better to influence his predictable sides, which invariably respond with the “correct” reaction.
Not only the appearance of a woman is transformed after entering into a serious relationship, her manner of speaking also changes, and almost always not for the better. But such a mistake is worth many destroyed family or pre-family ties. Psychologists warn: if before the start of “close” communication with a man, a girl is still allowed to experiment with a shocking manner of communication, while the guy is so in love that he is “blind and deaf”, then the new period of “adult life” for both should be associated exclusively with pleasant emotions.
And in the first year of family life, and in the second ten, a man’s perception of the intonation of his partner’s voice will not be dulled. He will not like shrill cries if he initially reached out to the girl because of her quiet voice and laconicism. It is impossible to accustom to this, but to force a man to go through the point of no return, when the sound of the voice of his once beloved wife becomes hateful to him, is quite real. To prevent the fading of strong feelings, to control the love of a man, strengthening it at a momentary desire in the power of any woman.
To help develop this ability, here are some helpful tips that apply at any stage of a relationship: at the beginning of a pleasant acquaintance or after many years of marriage:
- The girl's voice should never sink to lifelessness, which will be perceived as indifference.
- Gestures and facial expressions must match the words. If a girl talks to a guy about pleasant moments, non-verbal language should not show hysteria.
- If a man shows uncertainty in some matters, the woman's voice should sound stronger, more emotional. This speaks of harmony, mutual support.
- A man needs to be listened to, no matter what he says, and all the time he is stimulated by manifestations of the most sincere interest.
- You should never criticize the interlocutor-husband, otherwise he will look for another grateful and understanding listener.
- When you are alone with your partner, you should at least sometimes talk like a catwoman - categorically, passionately, letting him read sexual desire in his voice. Such a “zest” slipping in communication with a man binds him stronger than the bonds of a long-term marriage.
Interestingly, the statistics that already exist on this account claim that people who nevertheless decide to live together after long-term communication on the Internet, in 75% of cases create very strong and enviable ties based on complete understanding. This is due precisely to the long experience of maintaining interest in each other without a real sexual context.
The girls who found their other half on the Internet shared their personal experience on how to speak and respond correctly in correspondence with the interlocutor so that he always had an interest in the invisible addressee:
- No need to rush to write a message as soon as the guy appeared on the network. Let the guy write 5 times first, and the girl writes the 6th time. So a man is taught to take initiative in relationships and at the same time show him indifference.
- You need to write in your own words, but without building monologues in the form of "letters to an unknown reader." Guys get tired of long arguments.
- You need to forget about short one-word answers and try to build phrases in such a way that the young person can develop the topic.
- Men hate manifestations of depression, echoes of heavy thoughts, so the girl will have to become light as a butterfly, and splash out all the negativity on the dark screen of a turned off computer.
- No matter what happens, communicating with a man by correspondence, he cannot be blamed for anything. If there is a reason for this, reproaches can be replaced with “punishment” - citing fatigue, leave the correspondence earlier than usual and not appear on the network longer than always.
Most modern men are so lack of initiative that they are ready to be satisfied with one fascinating correspondence without bringing communication to a logical continuation. Therefore, if a girl believes that the limit of her patience has been exhausted, the interlocutor needs to be pushed to take decisive action. This can be done by arousing jealousy in him for invisible “rivals” or by hinting that hopelessness in various life situations is tiring and brings up unpleasant thoughts.
Receiving support from a girlfriend, a man asserts himself and can no longer do without the one who elevated him to this high level. And if the girl he loves also arouses his curiosity, constantly fueling interest in the relationship, such a union can be considered ideal.
And some secrets.
I looked at my husband in fascination, and he did not take his admiring eyes off his mistress. He acted like a lovesick jerk.
Psychology of communication with guys
Ideals, as they say, do not exist. Everyone has their own standards. However, let's talk about some ideal portrait of a woman that most men will like.
Chat about topics you know
Do not try to communicate on topics unfamiliar to you, it looks ridiculous. A real woman should not understand football, cars, weapons and action movies. Although if you know a lot about this, then this is a big plus.
But you don't need to show a man that you know more than him. Men don't like it very much. Be smarter and let them enjoy being wiser, stronger and more.
Consider male logic
Men are guided by logic, women by emotions, which is why they often do not understand each other.
When you want to understand a man, just think a little more logically and straightforwardly. Often, the speech of a man must be taken literally.
Frankly, every man somewhere inside is waiting for the approval of a woman. For a man, this is very important. Be sure to show the man that you notice his signs of attention, and they are not in vain. The main thing is not to overdo it.
Who should pay
The eternal question that both men and women ask themselves. In harmonious relationships (friendly or romantic) the question of payment does not arise at all, as a rule, both say that today it is they who want to pay.
In a relationship, the ideal situation is as follows: the woman was about to pay the bill, but the man said that he was treating her.
A woman understands that a man is not obliged to pay her bill. The man understands that he is courting and does not allow the woman to pay the bill.
Position yourself correctly
You must clearly show the man the boundaries that he should not cross. Men are like children, and if they are not stopped, they can very quickly unbelt and sit on your neck. And it will be almost impossible to remove them from there. You need it?
If you do not like something in his behavior, tell him so that he understands, that is, directly and clearly. A normal man will take criticism into account and will do everything to make you feel comfortable next to him. If the first time he does not understand, give supplements, it may seem to you that you have gone too far, but this is only for the better.
Be yourself! Naturalness in behavior has not been canceled. Take care of yourself, choose the clothes that suit you and emphasize, and do not expose your dignity. Be an interesting conversationalist and keep the conversation going. Approve and show interest in him - in moderation.
Psychology of communication with men: a reminder for women
Hello dear readers of the blog Samprosvetbulletin!
“... the psychology of communication with men for me comes down to the fact that I stopped bothering. Most men do not know how to communicate with women. My friend sometimes blurts out such things to me ... and this is called, he was joking. Before, I was nervous because of every word, thought it over, scrolled through my head, looked for the meaning, and he forgot the next day, ” writes Love.
“I read a lot of books on the psychology of communication with men, but they didn’t help me in business. Why is it so hard to talk to men? Is it because they are unable to openly express their true feelings, are closed to emotions, or are afraid of relationships? Sometimes there are situations that you just don’t know how to communicate with a man ... " Maria writes.
In fact, men lead active emotional lives. They just use a different palette of emotional colors, which is associated with their leading needs.Many men are not ready to easily reveal their emotions because they are not as important to them as solving problems. The leading need of men is to “conquer”, go towards the goal, solve specific problems, while the leading need of women is to establish emotional relationships. Therefore, men are so responsive to recognition of their strength, the ability to keep the situation under control and so vulnerable to criticism of their abilities. Women, in turn, react painfully when a man avoids emotional contact and "goes into the cave."
Society evaluates men on their competence and ability to maintain control in any situation. Here I remembered one of my acquaintances, who, by chance, worked for two years in a purely female team, as one of the employees. He was not the boss, he did not have any advantages in position and salary, but no matter what happened, no matter what unforeseen situation happened in the office, all the women immediately turned their heads in his direction and waited for him to solve the problem simply because he was a man.If you watch how men and women train in the gym, you can notice differences in behavior. A man, having just learned a new exercise, already wants to add more weight and speed, having done it only twice. A woman will first want to understand how to perform the exercise, will do it slowly and watch to do everything right.
Do you think that you are not worthy to be close to a status, strong man, and even more so to become the wife of such a person? All in your hands!The likelihood of such a relationship and a further happy marriage is based onthree whales. Successful communication with men - rules and advice from an expert.
First whale : knowledge of the algorithm for searching and choosing your beloved man.
Second whale : Knowledge of the psychology of a successful man and building communication
Third whale : Own external and internal transformation
When communicating with successful men, you strictly need to follow certain rules.. If you make mistakes, sooner or later they will lead to a break in relations, and vice versa - competent behavior will give you the opportunity to win his heart and give your love by creating personal happiness for yourself and your dear husband.
Successful communication with men - rule 1. Watch the man
Are you going on a date to show off? This is mistake. You need to show the man that you appreciate him and start watching him . Analyze his non-verbal, try to determine the psychotype of your interlocutor.
Watch the man's behavior Where does he look - in your eyes or looks away? Are his postures open or is he completely enclosed? What is he interested in, what are his hobbies? If you see a bright person who gushes in every possible way and attracts attention to himself - be careful, perhaps this is an explosion of fireworks for one party, then it goes out, this is not the personality stability you need.
Look for the strong. They will not stick themselves out, shout: "Here I am!" - these are people with inner dignity, self-confident, who do not need to prove anything to the environment.
Learn to distinguish by gestures who is the leader here. These are the skills that you can develop in yourself.
Rule 2. Analyze observations
Many women, having figured out the alpha male of the event, get to know each other and then simply passively wait for his call. But initially you need something else: analyze what this person is doing here Here and now? What is his mood and how do you work with all this in order to create the maximum number of points of intersection between you and him?
your own activity will be key here, otherwise you will simply be passively expecting acquaintances and wasting your precious time. Try to understand the purpose of his coming to this event, does he want to make new promising business contacts or meet his beloved woman, which is not uncommon in this environment of single businessmen?
See where his eyes are directed - at the ladies around him or at the search for partnerships for his business?
Rule 3. Derive the formula of his actions
Watch and analyze! The man is in a passive state or takes the initiative in his own hands ? Look at his reaction in the direction of the women he likes: does he lower the situation or control it? How will it be most beneficial for you to behave with him - to walk nearby, attracting and calling him for communication, or to ask something first, most? Or just wait for his first steps, if he is objectively active? Correct answers to these questions will be key in possible future relationships.
You can attract attention with your non-verbalism, you can give signals of interest with your eyes, looking away and realizing that a man who is interested in you will understand and begin to act in the direction of acquaintance. Provocations take place to be very different, but initially observe and try to understand what type of behavior is closer to him.
One can lure, the other can hunt.
Rule 4. Draw a formula for your actions
You must have worked out reaction and ready-made phrases for the first contact with a man who likes you. You must control the process, not sit with your head on the phone, not drown in conversations in a crowd of your noisy girlfriends . You shouldn't be taken by surprise or run into a closed state.
A woman who is not “on the alert”, is relaxed, withdrawn into herself, often frightened by a man who opens his interest towards her. And instead of show him your strong energy, slams shut like a clam into its shell, blocks the flow and "freezes" both itself and the interested man.
A confident, dignified woman doesn't choke or swallow her tongue.
Rule 5. Listen to what a man says or broadcasts
For successful communication it is necessary imbued with the interests of the interlocutor. Listen and observe, if this is a more businesslike conversation and you are not a leading specialist in this field, you should not try to switch his attention to yourself. If a man talks about a hobby, smokes a cigar, drinks whiskey, is relaxed, on this pleasant wave, you can beautifully weave into the conversation.
And even more so, it is necessary to show competent activity if a man is oriented towards female attention, jokes, makes compliments. He is in a certain mood and can be successfully used.
It is necessary to clearly understand at what point in a winning state, and when you are completely out of place.
Successful communication with men - rule 6. Catch his wave
Learn empathy feel the mood of a man, his inner state. Is he serious? Mirror his seriousness. Is he playful? Play back. Be his double, imbued with his emotions, feel with all the fibers of your soul what he feels now.
Do not think that you will be a chameleon, subject to your environment - quite the contrary, you are rather a Trojan horse that can get into the very depths of his consciousness.
You are adjusting to understand the person and to communicate harmoniously, and not to erase your personality.
Rule 7. Understand his point of view
A conversation has begun, contact has been established, your interlocutor is talking about something, talking to you on a particular topic - be careful! Successful men just don't say anything, with no purpose, just to chat. They always know what they mean and why they take certain steps.
Why does he say these words to you? What reaction does he want or expect from you? Perhaps he provokes you, tests you? Pulling the strings, testing the strength of emotional intelligence?
Calculate your correct reaction, do not disappoint or repulse the interlocutor.
... no doubt, to be worthy - you have to learn!
Impossible to imitate by temporarily appearing "the same» — a smart status man will quickly identify a fake. You need to work on yourself, learn to be worthy, grow as a person.
Happiness is near - open your palms and take it!
But it is impossible to find your prince sitting on the stove and doing nothing for it. Whoever wants happiness, he clearly goes to his goal, and in order to know the right direction, you need to use the experience and knowledge of specialists. Do you know the famous expression?
If the blind lead the blind, sooner or later both will end up in a hole. .
I, an expert in finding the ideal partner for relationships, have helped many graduates to happily marry successful men. I know techniques that work. I have been the guest of honor at many weddings. And you can be one of them by believing in yourself!
This is my life mission. I feel real happiness when you find your love! I sincerely want each of you to meet your man and create a successful family with him, based on trust and mutual understanding.