No confidence in what to do. Active lifestyle

Low self esteem is not best helper on the way to success and self-realization. Even realizing why insecurity has arisen, it is not always possible to gain self-confidence. What is it connected with? Most likely with the degree of neglect of such a state. Like a disease that is quite easy to treat in the early stages and much more difficult if not done in time. So the uncertainty that has been sitting in a person for years, eventually becomes a part of his life. Is there a way out of this situation? How to gain self-confidence after many years of being "below the floor"? First of all, raise your head, open your eyes and start reading this article.

Techniques to help you gain self-confidence

We will not analyze the reasons that underestimate self-esteem. After all, recommendations on how to gain self-confidence work equally effectively, regardless of why a person has become less confident in his abilities. The reasons are not so important, because they are already in the past. Much more important are the ways to help fix everything, because the future depends on them. The only thing we can advise is to go through in order to understand exactly how hard you have to work.

So, to increase self-esteem will help:

• Diary of success;
• Active lifestyle;
• Friends and relationships;
• Interesting hobby;
• daily affirmations;
• Attention to your appearance;
• Motivational videos or books.

If you use all the items from this list, gaining self-confidence will be even easier and faster.

Diary of success

Sometimes, "trying to reach for the stars", people do not notice life itself, ceasing to enjoy it. For example, if someone had one setback on a device new job, this does not mean that he did not make dozens of victories in something else. Why dwell on failure when there are achievements? Good advice how to gain self-confidence - start a diary of success, where to write down all your daily victories. It is not necessary to wait for new achievements, you can remember what has already been done and start writing it down, regularly adding new achievements. In those moments when conceit begins to suffer, and hands fall, it is enough to reread this diary, reminding yourself of your victories.

Active lifestyle

In order for the Success Diary to turn into a real library, it is advisable to accustom yourself to an active lifestyle. Every day gives many opportunities for self-realization. If you do not miss them, then it will become obvious how to gain confidence. For example, you can enroll in graphic design courses, successfully complete them, get a certificate and, thereby, increase your self-esteem. Or, go to dances, becoming more confident in discos. If there is no desire or opportunity to spend money, then there are dozens of free activities: all kinds of flash mobs, exhibitions, literary evenings, volunteer projects, social initiatives, etc. It is enough just to google posters or announcements of your city. The search engine will instantly issue dozens of offers for the near future.

Friends and relationships

The more active a person is, the wider his social circle is, the more likely he is to find a company and meet his love. True friends will always support and come to the rescue, and a life partner will not let you doubt your personal significance. But for them to appear, you need to get up from the couch and leave the house. Social media or mobile applications, with all their potential, will never replace relationships and friendships. But some joint project or a real hobby will definitely tell you how to gain confidence and find like-minded people.

A person's hobby is an occupation that is to their liking, and, accordingly, the desire to engage in it is much stronger than studying or working. If a person does something with interest, then success in this type of activity is much more real. Accordingly, hobbies great option how to gain self-confidence. For example, some office worker, without much career prospects, can be a top-notch martial arts instructor. Except purely psychological aspect associated with an increase in self-esteem, a hobby very often becomes a matter of a person’s whole life, gradually providing him with income and recognition.

Daily affirmations

How to gain confidence in yourself if you have doubts about your abilities? In addition to working on ourselves, it is advisable to practice self-hypnosis - regular repetition of how wonderful and successful we are. This practice is called affirmations - a clear setting that attracts the expected changes in a person's life. For example, it is difficult for someone to get a job because they are not sure of their potential. If such a person begins to repeat to himself every morning, looking in the mirror, one simple phrase: “I am very promising, all employers are interested in me, the most best job- mine", then gradually he himself will believe in it. And self-confidence ensures the achievement of goals.

Attention to your appearance

An equally important item for men and women. Of course, there are specifics, but being well-groomed, clean and fit is important for everyone. It is not necessary to spend significant money for this. Clothing can be simple, but neat and tastefully chosen. Expensive gyms can be replaced with a free sports ground or a treadmill in a nearby park. You will see for yourself how much easier it will be to gain self-confidence, if you are confident about your appearance.

Motivational videos or books

The Internet is full of all kinds of motivators or success stories that are freely available. They literally explain everything. How to gain self-confidence, how to meet a girl, how to get a job, how to build a fusion reactor in the kitchen. Anything. There is even a book "How to control the Universe without attracting the attention of orderlies." So, instead of just another soap opera or a highly intellectual show, you can, for a change, read or watch something inspiring. Who knows, maybe one of these motivators will drastically change someone's life, showing the way to success and recognition.

Asking the question “How to gain self-confidence?” - this is very good and right. A person, at least, realizes that something is wrong in his life and it should be corrected. There is no need to be ashamed of this. Worse, when someone does not even realize that his self-esteem is low. If he is regularly told that he deserves more than he takes for himself, this is an occasion to think about it and make every possible effort to gain self-confidence. After all, adequate self-esteem makes life much easier and allows you to fully realize yourself.

Everyone has felt insecure at least once in their life. It is on how confident we are that it depends on how we behave and how we perceive things and events around us. Unfortunately, not all people have this feeling innate, and for some, insecurity becomes a serious hindrance. Here are some tips on how to become self-confident.

1) Look directly into the eyes of those who look at you

Stop turning your head away or lowering your eyes every time someone looks at you! Don't be afraid to look people in the eye, because exchanging glances is The best way make contact with the person.

2) Stand up for your ideas

Dare to speak your ideas out loud as well as stand up for them. Do not be afraid of disapproving looks and do not let someone else's opinion cause you doubts and fears. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean your ideas are bad, it could be quite the opposite! Well, if this is not so, then who does not make mistakes? At least you will learn to protect yourself!

3) Don't focus on failure!

You have to learn to accept your failures. To do this, you should understand that when you start something, there is always such a risk. This is fine! "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." And failure is a way to learn something. You need to analyze where you made a mistake and decide how you will act in next time so as not to repeat it. Don't focus only on negative things: life is not all white or all black. Think about what good you learned from this situation.

4) Avoid contact

To protect themselves from suffering or disapproving looks, some people avoid contact for fear of not being too brilliant and saying something stupid. This is a big mistake! Fencing yourself off from others, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to find a person who will be happy to listen to you, appreciate and love you. Plus, if you rarely interact with others, you are just more likely to say something that will be perceived as stupid. But this matter is fixable: just communicate and by the time you meet someone who is really very important to you, you will already have something to say!

5) Practice Speaking in Public

When you start to trust yourself, you find that you are able to do things that you never dared to do before. At first, it may be expressing one's opinion in small company people, then public speaking. Practicing how to speak in front of a crowd will help you become confident: after you have done it once, it will be much easier for you.

6) Do something new

Doing something new is milestone in order to gain self-confidence. This will help you take your mind off the worries and gain confidence in your abilities. Plus, if you're nervous, some relaxation techniques can help you calm down. Sports is another good remedy relax and keep fit.

7) Learn to be an optimist!

Optimists perceive a positive event as their achievement, and not as good luck. This means that each success increases their self-confidence. Conversely, when they fail, they think it's just a combination of unfavorable circumstances. Thinking like an optimist will make you more confident.

8) Change the angle of view!

If something didn't happen the way you wanted, it's not the end of the world! Try to find circumstances that mitigate your guilt: it is not necessary to tell yourself that you are to blame for everything, because there are circumstances that cannot be controlled. Instead of regretting what you have lost, think about what successes you can expect in the future. Remember that failures in our lives are just as necessary as successes.

9) Ask yourself the right questions!

To be successful, you need to be able to ask yourself the right questions. This does not mean that you need to bombard yourself with reproaches! Try to think rationally and constructively about what you can improve about yourself. This good way reach the goal and understand the cause of failure. It is useless to reproach and belittle yourself - it will not bring you any benefit. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and let your brain find the real solution to the problem!

10) Have you thought about a professional psychologist?

If, despite all of the above tips, you are not able to become more confident in yourself, it may be worth considering contacting a professional. There is nothing wrong with going to a psychologist. This will help you understand what is the cause of your self-doubt. It is also a great tool to finally feel great.

How to be confident? This question is asked by people of all ages. Let's try to eradicate this problem in a variety of ways. (For those who really want to achieve something in life!)

Know Your Talents

Self-confidence can be gained through what you are good at. How can you turn this to your advantage?

• Your talents enable you to be an ace in a certain field. This will help you to be calm and confident in every moment. The more you do what you're good at, the longer you stay in that state.
• It's a great way to start or continue a conversation with someone you're interested in.
• You are admired, which means that you are not so, excuse me, flawed, to criticize yourself too much and remain “in the shadows” all the time.

Important: Sooner or later, someone will definitely want to “hurt” you. Do not stop doubting your talents because of such people! Don't give up on what you love and what you're good at!

Don't let yourself be controlled! After all, if at least a few people support you, then you are definitely talented.

Everyone has self-esteem issues

Someday everyone doubts success, beauty and other features of their own personality. When it's lonely, when nothing works out, when nostalgia "attacks", etc.

It is worth understanding one thing: how you perceive yourself, so others will look at you.

So, even a pimply teenager 1.5 meters tall can be more popular with girls than a tall, handsome and slender blond. It's all about charisma and self-confidence.

Do you want to conquer all your interlocutors? Then you need:

1. Accept yourself the way you are. We are not all perfect. “But what about those beautiful and successful personalities that flash in magazines and on television?”, You might ask. There are many nuances here: good makeup, the work of stylists, the correct placement of the angle (shooting in good posture, from the right distance and the most favorable side), photo and video editing, etc. All this makes them beautiful. In ordinary, non-stage life, they look ordinary, non-stage. However, each of them is interesting, because they are all simply self-confident. And this helped them to achieve definite success.
2. Deal with imperfections. Here you have 2 options:

• Learn to laugh at your flaws, translate all ridicule into a joke, do not be offended (but secretly take everything into account);
• Trying to fix them: excess weight- go in for sports, bad hair - choose the right hairstyle; eyes of an “ugly” shape - find your direction in makeup, etc.

In the meantime, you are complaining and telling everyone about your reasons for concern - you are vulnerable. Everyone will be able to use it for their own purposes (manipulation, blackmail, self-affirmation, etc.).

Don't Accept Compliments

Yes, yes, this is also a special art. You need to be able to do this so that the interlocutor does not lose the desire to communicate with you. Here you need to use the easiest forms, for example:

Good:

• modestly look away, smile and thank for the compliment;
• smiling fervently to joke: “Yes, I am taco-oh-oh!”.

Badly:

• grin and say: “Yes, no one doubted it!”.

And do not be too modest and refuse a compliment (“Come on, what are you talking about here!”).

Speak more loudly

An interlocutor whose speech is slurred is an uninteresting interlocutor. On the contrary, those who always speak out loud always attract attention. Such “speakers”, as a rule, are listened to by everyone, no matter what nonsense they say.

Important: remember, and even any nonsense is perceived as a personal point of view, if you say it confidently.

Make a list of obstacles

Those who want to communicate with people confidently need to exclude the following points from their lives:

• fear of loneliness;
• fear of looking funny in other people's eyes;
• propensity to be accountable (accepting someone else's opinion as one's own);
• bad memories;
• refusal to communicate, help;
• denial of one's own merits;
• financial dependence;
• lack of pride;
• communication with “wrong” people;
• boring time.

Look for allies. People who are similar to you in interests will help you “break out” of this state. Always work through the challenges together. Good friends is the chance to eradicate all obstacles to confidence (see above).

Become more confident in communication

With a man

What can make a woman feel insecure with members of the opposite sex?

Here are some reasons and their solutions:

1. "I don't know what to talk about with him." Men are the same people as your relatives, girlfriends, acquaintances, colleagues. Chat about anything (do not forget to follow the reaction of the interlocutor - whether he is interested in the topic). To prevent awkward pauses, prepare a few topics for conversation. You can also honestly tell him that you don’t communicate much with men, so you are a little confused. This will flatter him, and more interest will awaken in relation to you.
2. "I think he will think I'm stupid". Remember: shy people look much funnier and more unattractive than those who do stupid things liberated. Say and do what you think is right. Open yourself completely to him. Your communication should be easy. Otherwise, it is simply meaningless.
3. "I know what he wants from me." Yes, distrust is also an ally of uncertainty. Well, to be completely honest, this is the nature of all men. They can't live without "it". But when they get "it" is up to you.

With girl

And what can prevent a man from confident behavior in those situations when he is left alone with a woman? The main ones are similar to the first two presented in the previous section (the thinking of insecure representatives of both sexes is often similar).

Solutions to these "problems" are also transferred here. However, here we add a common one:

“I don't deserve her. She won't look at someone like me." Y-yes, while you think so, it will not look exactly - definitely. Girls, as a rule, bypass unconfident men.

How can an insecure person do this? No. So, first of all, work on yourself.

At work

Everything is quite simple:

• Do more work. Additionally, study on the Internet, textbooks, etc., ask colleagues for some points. Knowing your business perfectly will help you feel more confident in collective discussion working moments.
• Embrace informal settings and conversations. At work, there is also a place for relaxation: lunches, corporate parties, joint trips home, etc. This will help you join the team. BUT! Do not rush to tell everyone your problems (family, psychological, etc.). Your communication should be reasonably limited.

How to teach your child to be brave

Note to moms and dads:

• Don't talk. Your child is the cutest, prettiest, smartest, etc. But it is important to know that love is not only hugs, affectionate words and other "mi-mi-targets", but also moral support, fair reasoning of situations, explanation of his mistakes, etc. You must adequately prepare him for adulthood and keep away from dust and dirt.
• Learn it from the very beginning early age defend. As a rule, those people who can stand up for themselves have some kind of status among acquaintances and friends.
• Spend more time on the development of the child. Look to the future: the more he knows, the more interesting he is as an interlocutor. Accordingly, he will always be able to maintain a conversation with people. different ages. BUT! Don't get carried away. Do not make a "nerd" out of a child. It won't lead to anything good.
• Don't close at home. Write him down in those sections and circles that are of interest to him. There he will not only be able to develop his talents, but will constantly communicate with new guys.

Psychologist's advice

In order to become a self-confident person, it is enough to start small:

1. Change your walk. Turn on rhythmic music loudly in headphones, straighten your back, step confidently, without looking back. Smile at passers-by, at yourself (your mood). Of course, you will attract a lot of attention, as, in principle, all successful, self-confident people.
2. Work on your look. Don't hesitate. Don't look away. If it’s more convenient for you to concentrate, squint your eyes a little (!) with your head slightly raised. This will help you develop the habit of not taking your eyes off the other person. Then gradually wean yourself from squinting (if this does not go away sooner).
3. Live for today. Try one day to "score" everything: do not make plans, live for your own pleasure, "break away" as it should.
4. Stop being dependent on many people: you need to stop being afraid of the boss (in the end, you will always be able to find another job), “weed out” unnecessary friends, colleagues, acquaintances who clearly communicate with you for their own benefit. For a normal, fulfilling life, you only need a few close people.
5. Learn to live positively. Optimistic people are more popular with everyone.

Video: How to raise self-esteem

Self-confidence runs like a bright thread through all spheres of human life. Success at work, in personal life and friendships depends on it. Without faith in oneself one cannot safely socialize and fulfill oneself. But what if, due to insecurity, you can’t meet anyone or don’t even dream of moving up the career ladder? What to do if you feel your own potential, but you can't release it? Learn how to believe in yourself in this article.

Self-confidence is a personal and behavioral quality associated with. In addition, confidence is associated with anxiety, aggressiveness and a number of social factors.

E. V. Golovina defines the attitude of an individual to uncertainty as certainty. That is, uncertainty is often caused by fear of many future options for the development of an event. You can read about how to deal with the fear of uncertainty or other fears in the article.

An excess of self-confidence is just as dangerous as its deficiency. This is confirmed by the results of the study by E. V. Golovina. The author found that overconfident people are different:

• negativism (acting in defiance, refusing to do something, putting someone in their place);
• verbal and indirect (door banging, stomping) aggression;
• infantilism (reactions characteristic of adolescence).

However, the more confident a person is, the more resistant he is to being influenced by him. negative emotions(fear, anxiety, indignation). Initiative in communication depends on self-confidence and social courage.

An insecure person is socially timid. Moreover, the more often and more negative emotions (timidity, embarrassment, embarrassment) he is exposed to, the more they affect him. An insecure person has difficulty making decisions or initiating actions (such as speaking).

Causes of self-doubt

Uncertainty is more characteristic of a inhibited personality type. Moreover, innate characteristics have less influence than social learning. As a rule, insecurity stems from childhood, punishments and censure for unwanted behavior.

Notice! Any behavior can be regarded as undesirable depending on the subjectivity. The usual "Don't go!" can drown out the curiosity, initiative, activity of the child, but in the eyes of the mother to develop calmness and obedience of the baby. That is, for the mother from our example, the desire to know everything (“climb”) is an undesirable behavior. And for you? Here is an example of subjectivity in all its glory. Based on this, first of all, I recommend that you remember your relationship with your parents and evaluate them, your actions and emotions with an adult look. Are there any reasons for your insecurity?

The cause of uncertainty may be:

• destructive style of family education (intimidation, punishment, excessive demands, ignoring, etc.);
• pronounced processes of inhibition of the psyche (features of temperament);
• fear in any of its manifestations (for example, fear of uncertainty, fear of being rejected and misunderstood);
• low self-esteem;
• low motivation to achieve success;
• high level of anxiety;
• low level of will and self-control;
• intrapersonal conflicts;
• the contradiction between (what I am, what I want to be, what I can, how I see myself, how others see me).

Like most problems, uncertainty is most often based on biological factor, and on the social. If the former is almost impossible to change, then the influence of the latter can be corrected.

The structure of self-confidence

Self-confidence consists of social courage, the intensity of emotions, the strength of the influence of experienced emotions. If there is a strong expression of emotions such as anger, then the initiative in communication is more often negative in nature (a surge of emotions) and is associated with a person's excitability. If emotions include fear and other inhibiting experiences, then social initiative is reduced. The man is timid.

Based on self-confidence, there are 3 types of people:

1. Unsure. They are characterized by high excitability, intensity of emotions. They are sometimes aggressive.
2. Overconfident. They do not need contacts, are prone to negativism, have low excitability and expressiveness of emotions (unemotional).
3. Moderately confident. They are emotional, they need contacts.

Insecurity, as a rule, provokes two patterns of behavior: flight or aggression. Your task is to learn the third form, socially acceptable - the verbal rational solution of situations.

Thus, self-confidence is a feeling of inner control. A self-confident person knows what may soon arise in his environment, and how to cope with it.

What to do?

First of all, you should understand for yourself that self-confidence is an acquired quality. It certainly depends on innate individual features, but in general is formed through the influence of society and self-education.

Uncertainty and fears

Uncertainty is usually based on fears. Figure out what you're really afraid of. Find the root of the problem. It is important to get rid of fear. The main principle of the struggle is to act.

I will briefly present here the main ways to overcome the most popular fears, combined with uncertainty (the material is borrowed from the work of D. Schwartz "The Art of Thinking Big").

Figure: fear with self-doubt and ways to cope with it

Uncertainty and memory

Sometimes uncertainty is associated with memory overhead. That is, doubts arise on the basis of a lack of information about similar situation, and generally associated with memory. If you ask your brain to find confirmation of your weakness, failure, awkwardness, or something else, then it will give you many examples from the past. But as soon as you formulate the request differently, ask to show situations where you were at your best, and the brain will give a bunch of positive results for this request.

I suggest you constantly work with your repository of situations and images:

1. Enter only successful situations there (gratitude from friends, getting a job). Play pleasant thoughts, achievements, gratitudes, successes before going to bed. Even if you witnessed someone doing a good deed, write it down in your bank (but not in the context of “Why not me? Oh yes, I’m too insecure and weak for this”). Just fill your inner piggy bank with positive emotions.
2. In a difficult situation, take from the piggy bank only pleasant, motivating confirmations of your solvency, and not vice versa.

When you dwell on failures, you end up in vicious circle and find yourself on the sidelines of life. Anxiety and feelings of inadequacy develop. It becomes more and more difficult for the brain to work, because it becomes more and more polluted.

The deeper and longer negative thoughts live in the brain, the more confident and bigger they become, until they eventually turn into real monsters that poison your life. Can you just imagine how many such illegal immigrants have in the head of an insecure person? Although why illegal immigrants? You feed them yourself, nurture them, which means that everything is legal and voluntary.

Here's a comical way to deal with your monsters. Visualize them, give names. Draw on a sheet and eradicate. How is up to you. Get creative.

Uncertainty as self-destruction

Look at your insecurities from a different perspective. Don't you think it's self-destructive? This is an ungrateful attitude to one's talent, abilities, potential (and every person has it all). After all, isn't this an insult to being given the chance to live?

Why are you punishing yourself? Answered? Now act! Yes, there is only one way to overcome uncertainty - self-development, breaking yourself. Will have to consciously go through individually difficult situations, deal with fears, resentments - everything that sits in you and prevents you from moving forward.

Remember where the roots of your insecurity might be? Family, school, first love? Who told you that you don't deserve to be self-sufficient? Do you think that you are ugly, but because of that you are insecure? Who told you this? MEDIA? A destructive parenting style? An envious environment? The person who is next to you right now?

In the end, think about it: do you suffer from your insecurity? I'm talking about whether your parents taught you this, for example. Perhaps it was they who were so afraid of the world that they inspired the same in you? Try to look at the world with your own eyes, discarding the usual prism of learned uncertainty.

Exercise "Three reasons to live"

As we have already found out, uncertainty is self-destruction, mental murder, unwillingness to live. I offer you a simple exercise for every day.

Daily write down three of your own successes (reasons to believe in yourself and live). Whether you like it or not! Once you decide to fight, then fight and win! Nobody promised that it would be easy. Write any little thing. Or consciously do something so that you can write it down later.

The next day, reread the entire list (with all previous days). You won't believe it, but it's all you! This list will grow every week. I do not think that the person whose portrait of achievements you end up with can be considered unworthy. Let's see if you can then be just as insecure about yourself.

How to stop being afraid of social contacts

Remember, earlier I said that uncertainty is directly related to social initiative, activity in contacts? So, it's important. Understand that people have more in common than differences. Your task is to look at people in a different way.

1. You and your opponent are equally respected and significant. Your goal is to discuss mutually important things in order to achieve common goals. Do not be afraid to ask questions, clarify details, ask you to listen. But be respectful yourself. Often, insecurity arises from the fact that one person considers the other more significant. Yes, for example, at work by status it can be more tall man. But essentially you have the same problems and interests. There is no point in being afraid. The same is true in any relationship. It makes no sense to be insecure in front of your partner, and even more so in front of a stranger.
2. Do not take any negative splash of people in your address. If you didn’t do anything bad, then the person probably just “recouped” you. But in fact, he has problems in other respects, and he himself is not confident in himself. Show understanding and empathy. Praise yourself that you have become a kind of “psychotherapist” for someone.
3. Be honest and fair. Feeling guilty is one of the most destructive feelings. Criminals, traitors, liars sooner or later give themselves away. Nothing suppresses self-confidence like a justified, incident-based disrespect for oneself. Remember "Crime and Punishment" by F. M. Dostoevsky? I think the idea is clear.

Most main principle overcoming uncertainty in relationships with people - act confidently. Don't doubt your choice. There is no right and wrong. There is your decision, experience and consequences that you must be able to handle.

The mind follows the body

Do you know from psychology the fact that forcibly evoked emotions (for example, a smile) gradually become real sensations, states, true emotions? The same is true for overcoming self-doubt.

1. Begin acquaintance with people or any meeting with a handshake (hugs).
2. Maintain eye contact.
3. Confidently and clearly say: “Nice to meet you!” or "Nice to meet you!"

The brain will respond to such confident actions with true self-confidence.

Challenge your insecurities regularly.

1. Sit in the front rows at meetings. Yes, you can be involved in some kind of discussion, they will pay attention to you, look into your eyes. But that is exactly what we are striving for. I promise that it will be hard only in the beginning. Over time, you yourself will begin to enter into discussions.
2. Look into the eyes. Don't look away if someone has made contact with you. Averting the eyes is always perceived by the opponent not only as uncertainty, but also as your attempts to hide something, to lie, to understate. To be honest, I taught myself to look people in the eyes for a very long time. It is not easy. When I first began to dive into the world of psychology, I immediately realized that I would have to reshape myself. It is probably from simple self-knowledge that my activity has resulted. And the deeper I go into psychology, the more I understand that there is no end to work on myself. In principle, there is no limit to perfection. So, I learned to look into the eyes for a long time. It was true torture. But you, dear reader, have no idea how valuable this skill is. You see the reaction of the interlocutor, his emotions. As a rule, to feel confident, you just need to see the answer in the eyes of the other, sincere interest.
3. Keep your back straight and your shoulders straightened, your head up, that is, watch your posture. At the same time, walk with quick (but unhurried) big steps. Body and mind are inextricably linked and interdependent. If it’s not very successful to agree with the brain yet, then create an outwardly confident person out of yourself. Confident people walk on important meeting without shuffling, without slouching or bowing her head. They walk clearly and directly, rushing to do something meaningful (rather than run away from something).
4. Smile. When you are afraid, when you are unsure, when you are upset, when. Confident and strong people smiling, smiling broadly.
5. Be active. Express your opinion. When you once again suppress your own potential, then at times you begin to feel worse. Comment, make suggestions, express an opinion, ask questions. Yes, it's not easy again. You have to force yourself first. Make it a rule to stop being silent.
6. Learn to adequately assess your knowledge, skills and abilities and appreciate, respect yourself for it. Upgrade your skills regularly. I recommend making a written portrait of your skills. Visibility is always helpful.
7. Learn to plan your time. Self-confident people are distinguished by the ability to use personal time productively and plan for its use. Don't put anything off until later. big goals break it down into many small and easy tasks. But at the same time, remember that deviations are always possible due to circumstances. They should not unsettle you.
8. Take on the tasks that you are sure you can do. Create success situations for yourself. You can not live only by challenges to yourself. Confidence can sometimes be built through simple successes.
9. For last, I've saved the most radical and "terrible" way to increase self-confidence. I suggest you sign up for some club, circle. For example, theatrical or poetic. The most extreme option is standup.

Thus, confidence can be developed through teaching, persuasion, and suggestion. These are three strongholds, noted back in 1983 by T. D. Kalistratova.

It has been scientifically proven that all people have the skills of confident behavior, they just do not know how to use them. If you can’t manage on your own, then sign up for a training in confident behavior. Today it is a common service. Such trainings allow you to realize and feel dominance over your emotions (no one can regulate your state if you do not allow it), reveal all the ways and teach you how to deal with them. This increases self-confidence.

Confident person skills

I want to introduce you to the skills that are characteristic of a self-confident person, that is, this is what you need to strive for (I took the material of E.V. Golovina as a basis).

1. Persistence in your goals and requirements. The ability to repeat a request, a question, remind yourself.
2. Adequate attitude to constructive criticism, acceptance of one's mistakes.
3. The ability to concentrate on meaningful information in a conversation, not to pay attention to random "attacks".
4. The ability to learn from your own mistakes, but not to feel excessive guilt.
5. The ability to calmly talk about your shortcomings, listen to the claims of a partner. The ability to discuss together what he wants to hear from you, how to see you.
6. The ability to be open, to talk about one's own mistakes and shortcomings. Equally be able to discuss the positive and negative traits of your character, lifestyle.
7. Give preference to compromises in resolving controversial issues.

Afterword

Uncertainty does not stem from the future. Uncertainty grows from the past, and through its prism we see the present. All insecure people have experienced the situation that made them so. But there is no point in dwelling on the past. Find the source and work through it.

We can talk about old grievances, unfinished relationships, traumas. Lots of stuff. It's very individual. If you cannot find the root yourself, please go to a personal consultation with a psychologist. Until you rip out and throw away that rock that is tied around your neck, any confidence training will, alas, be ineffective. It's like a painkiller: it relieves symptoms, it seems like it allows you to lead a normal life, but the infection continues to rot and grow.

Eradicate the old negativity, do not collect a new one, do not dwell on failures (yes, you still cannot do without them, you need to accept it). You may be surprised, but the human brain itself is able to clean bad memories. So you just need to help your brain work for your benefit.

Literature on the topic

In parting, according to tradition, I recommend reading the book. Today it is the work of B. Tracy "The Power of Self-Confidence". The book is practical guide to increase self-confidence, get out of the comfort zone, increase self-esteem. At work you will find detailed description the phenomenon of self-confidence, and recommendations for overcoming insecurity, and many interesting thoughts.

I hope that the material of my article and Tracy's work will be useful for you in practice. I wish you success in your rebirth!

Building self-confidence takes a lot of effort and a lot of time. Before taking action, it is worth determining the time frame for achieving the goal. They must be real.

To make it easier, it is better to write down the qualities inherent in a confident person. Such visualization will help to clearly imagine what a strong woman should be. The analysis of one's own "I" will also help in acquiring the core that self-confident girls need.

How to become confident?

Every woman wants to be self-confident in order to be paid attention to and reckon with her opinion. But it is worth understanding that in order to change yourself you will need a large number of time. It is necessary to feel internal and external changes. Therefore, you need to understand exactly what qualities are inherent in strong people:

• willpower;
• inner freedom and independence;
• purposefulness;
• stress resistance;
• determination;
• education;
• good self-esteem;
• self-development;
• focus on results.

The main thing is to realize that the result requires serious work on yourself. Perhaps, to achieve it, you will have to give up communication with certain people or the usual way of life. If there is a goal, it is worth achieving.

Before you start working on yourself, you need to identify the causes of uncertainty. It can be complexes from childhood, unrequited love or a failed career. When the reason is clear, you need to clearly analyze it, reconsider your attitude, since thoughts directly affect the perception of something. After reassessing the critical situation, it is worth starting to work on yourself. The first thing to pay attention to is appearance. Any change of image gives self-confidence, brings something new to life.

A self-confident person always has a passion. That's why it's important to have a hobby. It can be drawing, singing, sports or knitting, it all depends on personal preferences. Career growth gives determination. If the professional status does not suit you, then you can set a goal to achieve an increase. A nice bonus will be not only pride, but also increased wages.

In most cases main reason insecurity is a problem in personal life. Therefore, it needs to be eliminated. Do not cling to a man who does not give strength. It is better to end a relationship that is dragging you down. Male attention and care can work wonders with any woman. With the help of the opposite sex, you can significantly increase your self-esteem. Frequent communication with them will help to stop being shy, increase the number of fans.

How to become a beautiful and well-groomed girl

External image

A strong woman is always different. Sometimes she is domineering and demanding, and sometimes soft and submissive. A girl feels confident if her appearance is perfect and internally she is in complete harmony with myself.

A strong woman should have clean face and body skin, healthy hair, stylish makeup, well-groomed hands and a neat appearance. straight posture, grammatically correct speech and pleasant gestures will help to become self-confident.

How to love yourself

Differences

There are basic signs of self-doubt. They differ from the qualities of a strong and independent woman:

A confident girl behaves according to the above qualities. She knows her own worth, she is clearly aware of the possibilities and goals, she is looking for adequate ways to implement her ideas.

How to become attractive to men

How to overcome complexes?

Fear of criticism, ridicule from others, or unpleasant words often make people insecure. Human psychology is designed in such a way that any pressure exerts on him Negative influence. Over time, complexes develop in it, which further aggravate the situation. A person withdraws into himself, stops communicating with others and withdraws from everything. In such cases, you need to feel this condition in time and try to prevent it. For this, there are several tips:

1. 1. Think less about fears and disappointments. Drive away negative thoughts, set yourself up for results and be more decisive.
2. 2. Analyze your behavior. Every person has good and bad qualities. Therefore, it is worth considering and finding positive features character, and use them to draw attention to themselves.
3. 3. Do not be afraid of communication. Each person brings a certain experience into the life of another. Therefore, the more communication, the less constraint.
4. 4. Do what you love. Everyone has certain talents: someone knits beautifully, and someone sings breathtakingly. Any business in which a person is professional gives tremendous confidence and helps to develop.
5. 5. Pay no attention to the opinions of others. Often people around speak unflatteringly for one reason - because of envy. Listen to criticism only when it is constructive. Need to be sure of own forces, sometimes seem self-confident, then other people will feel it and be respectful.

But the main thing is to praise yourself. For every step you take towards gaining confidence, you can reward yourself. When a girl loves her appearance, then everything will turn out easily for her and she will be able to overcome her fears.

It is impossible to achieve something without a precise formulation of the goal. Therefore, in order to overcome the fear of other people, to overcome excessive constraint, you can rehearse the exit, speech and gestures in front of the mirror. This will give you some confidence. No need to stand still and give up. You need to learn something new, increase self-confidence thanks to other people. The first step is to look at life with different eyes and try to change it. Any achievement is a stepping stone leading to the development of self-confidence.