Researchers have found that there are several stages in the escalation of crises in adoptive families. Understanding these dynamics can help adoptive parents identify problems in the relationship between them and the adopted child in a timely manner and seek help in stabilizing the relationship.

Stage 1. "Honeymoon"

Immediately after the child moves into an adoptive family, adoptive parents, as a rule, experience pleasure and pleasant excitement. Family members are full of hope and hope for a happy future. This stage can last several months, and if serious crises do not arise in the family, then several years.

Stage 2. Declining satisfaction

The atmosphere in the family begins to change. Adoptive parents begin to feel tension in their relationship with the child. What used to be touching, begins to annoy and disappoint. The adoptive parents keep hoping it's "temporary." At this stage, adoptive parents often do not share their concerns with anyone, believing that everything will “soon pass”.

Stage 3. Finding a problem in a child

Relations with the child continue to deteriorate. Everything "bad" in the behavior of the child - from childhood tantrums to serious misconduct - becomes unbearable. Relations are deteriorating. The child feels tension in the adopters, which only increases his anxiety and leads to further deterioration of behavior. Adoptive parents perceive this as a rejection on the part of the child and react inadequately even to minor problems.

The problem is the child

Things that once touched you begin to annoy. Adoptive parents become tense and annoyed.

The child feels tension and anxiety and begins to behave worse.

Adoptive parents feel that the child rejects them, and they begin to respond inadequately to minor misconduct.

Stage 4. Public manifestation of the problem

Problems soon begin to affect the social life of the family. The child begins to misbehave not only at home, but also "in public" - in the presence of relatives and friends, at school, etc.

Frustration and embarrassment often cause adoptive parents to seek support from others who see a long list of the child's misdeeds. Well-wishers can give them advice that confirms the opinion of the adoptive parents that the problem lies in the child, and subconsciously push them to move away from the child.

Stage 5. Turning point

The situation in the family continues to deteriorate. Sooner or later, some incident occurs involving the child (the child steals something, begins to behave in a sexually tinged manner, skips classes at school), which the adoptive parents have long expected - and which overwhelms their patience. According to the adoptive parents, the child thus "crosses the Rubicon", after which there is no hope for reconciliation. The family continues to live under the same roof, but an insurmountable wall of pain, anger and rejection arises between the adoptive parents and the child, which deprives everyone of hope for a happy future. No one has the mental strength to return to a healthy family life. In most families, the emphasizing of differences that begins at this stage does not yet become the reason for the official termination of the adoption, but often it already leads to irreconcilable conflicts and makes normal relations and restoration of intimacy impossible. In some cases, the refusal of the adoptive parents from the child becomes inevitable.

Step 6: Setting a Deadline or Giving an Ultimatum

In some cases, the culmination of problems becomes a family crisis. The adoptive parents give the child an ultimatum or set a deadline by which the situation must improve significantly, or the child must leave the family. Often their demands are unrealistic. For example, they may require that the child NEVER throw clothes on the floor, NEVER get angry at anyone, or NEVER allow

misdemeanors.

Stage 7. Final Crisis and Termination of Adoption

Jessica sat in the hallway of the family orphanage for girls, waiting for the arrival of their social worker. Now she will live here. She was adopted when she was three years old, and now she is back in a foster family. “My parents said that if I was late again, I would have to leave. Yesterday I was late - and here I am sitting here. “At the best of times,” recalls Jessica, “my parents imagined me as their daughter. And when the problems started, I became a “stranger”.

There comes a day when the child does not fulfill any of the requirements presented to him. There is a crisis in the family. Any, even the most insignificant event can become the "last straw".

The adoptive parents demand that the child be permanently removed from their home. Often they want it to happen immediately. As a result, both “belligerents” are left with their pain: the child with feelings of anger, confusion and rejection, the adoptive parents with feelings of anger, guilt and sadness.

If adoptive parents feel that a deterioration in the relationship between them and the child could lead to termination of the adoption, they should immediately seek help from an adoption agency or a self-help group. The questionnaire below can be used to assess the quality of relationships in an adoptive family.

O 1. The problem of formation of attachment as the main problem of early age

O 2. Fears

O 3. Aggression

O 4. Negativism

Conclusion
FOREWORD

This book is, first of all, the brightest memory of our beloved teacher - Klara Samoilovna Lebedinskaya. It is her subtle clinical approach to the study of early manifestations of disorders emotional development and the identification of the main criteria for the early diagnosis of early childhood autism gave impetus to further psychological developments in this area. Clara Samoilovna's deep belief that the search for the possibility of the earliest possible corrective actions in the presence of signs of affective distress in the first years of a child's life can become a prevention of the onset of severe forms of impaired emotional development was passed on to us.

Many years of practical work with various variants of early childhood autism has allowed us to see in the naked form the insufficiency of functioning or even the absence of those mechanisms of affective regulation, which normally, coping with their task, may simply not come to the surface. This is the usual way: the search for the cause of a developmental disorder, as a rule, results in a deeper understanding of the normal course of events. Here we have the opportunity to re-evaluate what happens to the child in early childhood, how affective mechanisms are formed that organize the first forms of his worldview and interaction with loved ones and the outside world.

Understanding the logic of the appearance of difficulties, the occurrence of distortion or delay in emotional development gives a completely definite way out in corrective work. In addition, this makes it possible to realize the meaning of many methods of traditional upbringing of young children, their focus on the development of these mechanisms of affective organization of the behavior and consciousness of the child. Modern conditions life, especially urban life, inevitably lead to a significant loss of the upbringing traditions developed in past generations, first of all, this is due to the frequent absence of a “big family” - upbringing outside the constant presence of the older generation, which still keeps and naturally uses these methods of organizing the behavior of the baby. Young parents are often carried away by modern, outwardly more pragmatic aspects of upbringing and, above all, teaching a small child - this is certainly not bad, but if this does not lose the connection of different aspects of his spiritual life, if it continues to develop and individualize in general with a close adult semantic context.

Maybe this book, to some extent, will help them take a slightly different look at the inner world of the child, and not only with the obvious difficulties of his emotional development. Its prosperous and harmonious course, as is well known, also presupposes periods of dramatic crises. Understanding their nature, as well as the inner meaning of other, calmer periods, will help loved ones maintain self-confidence and better prepare the baby for an independent life.

Therefore, the task of this book does not include tracing individual lines of development of the child's mental functions - sensorimotor, speech, intellectual, his attention or memory. It was important for us to present the general logic of the complication of individual affective meanings in the child's interaction with the world, the development of emotional relationships with loved ones. We also hope that an understanding of this general logic of development will help to use the experience of correctional work with children with severe disorders of emotional development in other, more common cases. It will help the specialist-diagnostician to more adequately assess not only the stock of knowledge or skills, but also the emotional maturity of the baby, and the employee of the children's institution to build relationships in accordance with the emotional age of the child.

Special thanks to the author - the parents of children with autism, with whom we have collaborated throughout all these years for their devotion, perseverance, ability to rejoice at the slightest signs of the child's movement, willingness to share their experience and constantly learn themselves, for their creative position and faith in our common cause . This book is dedicated to parents.

INTRODUCTION

The birth of a child is always a joyful and at the same time disturbing event for parents. Is everything all right? What is the best way to raise a child? These and many other questions inevitably arise before the child's loved ones. Of course, there is one's own maternal intuition, advice from experienced grandmothers, books that one can read, and finally, the possibility of regular visits to the clinic. However, even if the child is under the careful supervision of both relatives and specialists, this cannot always protect against inattention to a number of signs of the well-being of mental development.

The main criteria for the normal course of ontogenesis is, as is known, compliance with certain formal indicators of the development of individual mental functions (perception, motor skills, speech, etc.). At the same time, the timeliness of the passage of the main stages of development is monitored (when he sat down, got up, began to fix his eyes, follow the movement of the toy, take it in his hand, coordinate the movement of the hand and look, when cooing, babbling, the first words appeared, etc.). It is on these well-known signs that the well-being of the physical and mental development of the baby is usually assessed (Figurin N.L., Denisova M.P., 1949; Shchelovanov N.P., 1960; Aksarina N.M., Kistyakovskaya M.Yu., 1969 ).

The passage of stages of emotional development can also be tracked by the same age milestones. However, as a rule, this is not given so much attention. Anxiety, perhaps, can arise if such vivid manifestations of the well-being of emotional development as a smile, interest in a human face, and recognition of loved ones are not formed in the child's behavior in time. It is also natural to worry about low responsiveness to external influences, pronounced passivity in contacts with the environment, or, conversely, excessive excitability. However, these disturbing tendencies are often regarded as a manifestation of the special nature of the baby - inhibited or vulnerable, impressionable.

For an adequate assessment of the well-being of the emerging emotional sphere, however, it is extremely important to notice not only the absence or delay in the appearance of some kind of obligatory behavioral reaction, but also to determine its quality. Paradoxical as it may seem, the most severe and complex disorders of emotional development that occur, for example, in early childhood autism and become apparent by the age of 2.5-3 years of age, can naturally grow from subtle, subtle signs of affective distress at the earliest stages of ontogeny. They often cannot be fixed according to any formal criteria - since the development of such a child may well fit within the boundaries of the norm, and sometimes look ahead in a number of parameters. Even very attentive parents cannot always correctly assess the peculiar features of the child's behavior, the nature of his response to loved ones and the environment as a whole. Sometimes significant signs of pathological tendencies of affective development are at first mistakenly perceived as positive traits a baby - extremely calm, "comfortable", not asking to be held or fearless.

In many cases, parents even feel that “something is not right” with the child, but it’s hard to understand: either such a special character, or they themselves are not skillful enough and correct in interacting with him. It is especially difficult to understand this when such a child is the first. Awareness of problems often begins when a mother has the opportunity to compare her baby with his peers (at the reception in the clinic, with the children of friends, on the playground).

Unfortunately, in most of these cases, an early appeal to specialists - pediatricians and neuropathologists - does not help either. While the child is in infancy, they often do not support parental fears. When the child gets a little older, and the growing difficulties of his organization begin to manifest themselves more clearly, hypotheses arise about a possible lack of intellectual, speech development, some disturbances in the field of perception.

So, when he does not react enough to the appeal, does not respond to the name - naturally, the first suspicions that arise are whether his hearing is reduced; if he does not use speech - are there any speech disorders. Suspicions of serious difficulties in affective development are usually the last to arise. Nevertheless, these difficulties are quite common and the developmental well-being of the affective sphere should be monitored as carefully as the well-being of sensory, motor, speech and intellectual development. There are all possibilities for this. The main phenomena and obligatory stages of the normal emotional development of a small child, in general, have been sufficiently studied.

Our goal is to show the formation of the necessary mechanisms of emotional regulation of behavior (O.S. Nikolskaya, 1990) within the framework of an early age. Some of them provide a consistent adaptation of the child to stable life cycles; others allow the baby to adapt to unexpectedly changing circumstances, help him gain independence, cope with obstacles, danger. The most important of these mechanisms, which comes into force almost immediately after the birth of a child and helps the maturation of all the others, is the one that regulates his emotional relationships, first with close people, and then with the complex world of human relationships that the child enters.

We will see that every time the inclusion of a new affective mechanism in the system of emotional regulation of behavior leads to temporary instability: the appearance of fears, whims, and disobedience. Some of these moments are traditionally considered developmental crises. They must be distinguished from signs of real trouble in the early emotional development of the child, leading to serious disturbances.

THE MAIN STAGES OF THE CHILD'S EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT

In the first year of a child's life, it is impossible to consider his mental development outside of his constant interaction with close people, primarily the mother, who is the mediator and organizer of almost all of his contacts with the environment. A number of works of both domestic and foreign researchers are devoted to the analysis of interaction in the mother-child dyad, the description of its dynamics in different age periods (L.S. Vygotsky, 1983; M.I. Lisina, 1974; S.Yu. Meshcheryakova, 1978; G.Kh.Mazitova, 1977; N.N.Avdeeva, 1982, etc.). A child in the early stages of development is dependent on the mother, not only physically, as a source of realization of all his vital needs for satiety, warmth, security, etc., but also as a regulator of his affective state: she can calm him down, relax, invigorate him , console, increase endurance and set to complicate relationships with the outside world. The most important condition for this is the possibility of synchronization of their emotional states: infection with a smile, syntony in mood and experience of what is happening around. Therefore, it is so important for the child to calm and self-confidence of the mother, giving him a sense of reliability. This is how the baby's primary need for stability and emotional comfort is realized (E. Erikson, 1992.). Many people know how much more calm and prosperous in comparison with the first ones the second children often grow up - interacting with a more experienced, skillful, and therefore easier and freer mother.

The central point in the mental development of a child in the first months of life, as is known, is the formation of individual attachment - (Ainsworth M.D., 1962 and others). Within the framework of this emotional community, according to L.S. Vygotsky in the experience of "The Great We", the individual affective mechanisms of the child mature and develop - his ability in the future to independently resolve life tasks: organize himself, maintain and maintain activity in relations with the world. Let us consider in more detail what these affective mechanisms are, how they are formed at an early age in the process of the child's interaction with loved ones.

As the child develops, a number of more and more complex life tasks consistently arise, and in order to solve them at each stage, it becomes necessary to actively include in the work a new way of organizing behavior.

The first such vitally important task is the mutual adaptation of the infant and mother to each other in ordinary situations of interaction - feeding, bathing, swaddling, putting to bed, etc. They are repeated from day to day and the baby develops in them the first affective stereotypes of behavior, his first individual habits. These are his first effective mechanisms for organizing behavior, this is how adaptation to fairly uniform, stable environmental conditions occurs. The stable rhythm of everyday life is primarily set by the mother of the child. She is the organizer and constant mediator of meeting absolutely all the vital needs of the child in satiety, warmth, comfort, tactile contact, communication.

The assimilation of these stable forms of life common to those close to them is the first adaptive achievement of the child. At the same time, these initially dominant forms of adaptation are still very limited. The baby of the first 2-3 months of life is characteristically impatient, reacts heavily to changes in the daily routine - violation of the feeding regimen, sleep-wakefulness, can experience a change of scenery; getting used to certain "hands", the manner of the person caring for him most time, hard going through his replacement (Brazelton TV, 1972).

During this period, the expressed affective manifestations of the child are mostly negative in nature (screaming, crying). Their adaptive meaning is a simple signaling effect on an adult, a call to satisfy urgent needs, to eliminate the unpleasant.

However, these signals call the adult not only to the direct satisfaction of the specific needs of the child. An adult seeks to find more general ways to comfort the baby. The most common of them are motion sickness, cradling, accustoming the baby to a dummy, which have firmly entered the traditional culture of nursing a child. It is characteristic that all of them are based on the rhythmic organization of sensations that are very important for the infant (primarily vestibular, oral, tactile). The kid soon begins to actively use these techniques, which help him calm down when a loved one is not around. Subsequently, when the child masters more complex ways of self-toning, the need for them becomes less - so by 6-7 months, thumb sucking usually stops (Braselton T.B., 1982). However, they can also become firmly established if the baby is in situations of prolonged discomfort and is deprived of the attention of loved ones. So we often meet with endless rocking and sucking of a finger, a corner of a diaper in cases of so-called "hospitalism" (Spitz R.A., 1945, Bowlby J., 1979).

Normally, rather soon, relatives master the ways of caring for the child and the methods of controlling his emotional state, and the end of the third month is normally characterized by the emergence of a balance in the expression of positive and negative emotions(A. Vallon, 1967). The interaction of the child with the mother is increasingly beginning to be determined positive emotions. Since the basic stereotypes of satisfaction of needs are already taking shape, the need for communication, for the attention of an adult, for his direct emotional response now comes to the fore.

As you know, the very face of a person from the first month of life is the most important and strongest ethological irritant for the baby. Now, however, his emotional expression, eyes and smile of a loved one are becoming more and more significant. If up to 2-3 months any face, and as experimental studies have shown, even a mask or a very rough imitation of a face (a circle and two dots instead of eyes) causes a reaction of animation in an infant and a preference in time for fixing any other stimulus presented, then after 3 months the child waiting for the smile of an adult. Experimental data are also known, according to which children look at their mother's face more often and longer when it expresses pleasure (B.C. Epanchin, J. Paul, 1987). Moreover, there are observations (experiments by O. Bazhenova, 1985) indicating that at this age, at the sight of an indifferent face leaning over him, the child experiences anxiety and actively demands participation.

A new class of individual life stereotypes of the child begins to develop - the ways he is accustomed to establishing and maintaining communication, direct emotional communication. The previously undifferentiated demanding cry begins to take on the intonation of a request (J. Bruner, 1977). The child learns more diverse forms of communication, entering into the usual rituals of emotional interaction with an adult in different situations: caring for him and the stereotypes of early games accepted in his family. The most common form of common pleasure at this time is the game of "hide and seek" - the appearance and disappearance of an adult's face from the baby's field of vision when he himself covers his face or for a second the face of a child. The moment of resuming eye contact is experienced by the baby most acutely and causes delight.

In the future, in common games with adults, not only direct emotional infection, but also a general focus on a sensory bright color and sounding toy gradually begins to acquire more and more importance. With its help, an adult gets the opportunity not only to calm the baby, but also to cheer him up, to increase his activity. It is important to note that in these interactions, their rhythm and repetition continue to be of particular importance.

Soon the child himself gets the opportunity to self-toning himself with the help of active manipulation of the sensory environment. By this time, he already has the ability not only to take a toy, but also to act with it in a coordinated manner, extracting various sensory sensations (knocking, throwing, twirling, etc.). Of course, these actions give him more complex and varied sensations than the primitive actions of self-irritation, which are more characteristic of the child. younger age. However, they also remain rhythmically organized, aimed more at reproducing a certain desired sensory effect than at an active examination of the environment. The stage of formation and predominance of "circular reactions" in behavior (according to J. Piaget) covers a significant part of the second half of a child's life.

Shortly after the child begins to pull himself up and lean on his legs, his endless "jumps" and throwing toys or pacifiers out of bed become characteristic. What is important here is that with the greatest intensity and, most importantly, the greatest joy, this circulating activity turns into a game in the presence and with the participation of an adult. At the same time, the child receives pleasure not only from the actions performed, but from the reaction of a loved one. The earlier game of "hide and seek" acquires the same circulating character at this age. Now the child himself can hide and stick out, catching the eye of an adult.

Such circulating activity allows the child to independently maintain a sense of security and stability in relations with the world. At the same time, with their help, there is a further development of interaction with loved ones. It is on the basis of such circulating reactions that play rituals are usually formed, which make it possible to unite attention, general concentration not only directly on each other, but also on some object of common pleasure. These rituals prepare the possibility of developing the first proto-declarative actions (J. Bruner, 1975), which designate these situations and prepare the child and adult for the opportunity to control each other's attention and coordinate emotional assessments.

The ability to control the attention of another is associated with the development in the child of a readiness to follow the instructions of an adult and the appearance of his own pointing gesture. The possibility of coordinated interaction begins to develop. Until now, a directed appeal to an adult was not so relevant for a child. They constituted such a unity that the child's desires were fulfilled, as it were, automatically, in response to a simple indication of discomfort or demand. If earlier the child simply reached out for the object of desire, now he pulls his hands towards him, but at the same time he turns his gaze to the adult, this is how the first appeals and pointing gestures are born.

Thus, feedback is formed in emotional interaction. The child gradually begins to take into account the emotional reaction of the adult to his actions. If at an earlier stage of development the baby had a primitive affective infection with the brightest state of another person (initially yawning, later - laughter, crying) - his plastic reflection, now a true imitation of the emotional reactions of adults begins to grow out of him. So, a five-month-old child can already imitate the expression of the mother's face and play with pleasure with the expression of his face in the mirror (Braselton T.V., 1982). Developed initially in play, this ability of an adequate emotional response leads to reciprocal coordination of emotional states; as a result, the child has the opportunity for a more active and varied influence on the environment. By six months, the child already recognizes the main emotions of his loved ones well and begins to express surprise, resentment, sadness, anger, joy, confusion, embarrassment, etc. in a differentiated and adequate way.

This is a period of intensive formation of the operational side of emotional interaction in the mother-child dyad. Of course, the reciprocity of behavior is achieved when all the necessary technical components of this interaction appear: the ability to independently change the position of the body, change the distance of communication, facial expressions, but the central role among the factors belongs to the gaze as the strongest regulator of behavior (Argile, 1967, 69).

It should also be noted that the fundamental changes in the assessment of the affective state of another person, occurring during the first six months of a child's life, consist in the appearance of a greater orientation towards its sign (positive, negative, or neutral), that is, the quality of this state. According to an experimental study (Lisina M.I., Meshcheryakova S.Yu., Sorokina A.I., 1983), children of the first half of the year are more sensitive to the difference in the intensity of attention of an adult, it is not so important for them to highlight negative expressions (expressions of anger, reproach ). At that time, he sharply manifests a special - negative reaction to the indifference of an adult: in this case, the child looks alarmed, depressed, upset, and after a while his response behavior is sharply slowed down. It is in the second half of life that infants begin to evaluate the expression of an adult's displeasure as something fundamentally important and react to it accordingly - they themselves frown, move away, and cry resentfully.

The growing selective orientation of the child to the emotional reactions of a loved one qualitatively changes his relationship with the environment. He becomes less dependent on his immediate stimuli and more dependent on the mediating emotional reaction of the mother, now not just calming or activating, but already organizing his behavior in a directed way. A close adult can more and more successfully "persuade" the child to wait a little, endure in conditions of discomfort, "infect" with his calmness and positive emotion, focus on an important impression. The data of A. Gesell (1974) confirm that in the period of 7-8 months the baby acquires a significantly greater affective stability in contacts with the world, and a differentiated orientation of the child to the emotional reaction of the mother makes a huge contribution to achieving it.

However, these more difficult ways the development of stable reliable relations with the world is also insufficient. Now the child becomes vulnerable in his ability to adapt in a new way. He begins to show anxiety in case of violation not so much of the usual forms of care, but of the stereotype of relationships with loved ones. It is known that at this age, anxiety naturally arises when the mother, the center of the child's affective adaptation to the world, leaves. The result of the development of a stereotype of individual relationships with loved ones is the fear of a “stranger face” that is characteristic of the age of 8 months: a child, at the sight of a stranger, demonstrates fear and displeasure (E. Maccoby, J. Masters, 1970; B. L. White, 1975), or at least embarrassment and confusion (E.O. Smirnova, I.A. Kondratovich, 1973). This phenomenon testifies not only to the fact that the child well differentiates between his own and others. It is characteristic that although the very recognition of the mother by the infant is noted even before the age of six months, children no older than 6 months show their ability to recognize loved ones by the fact that when interacting with them they are more happy and more likely to show initiative than in contacts with strangers - this is the so-called " positive recognition" (Mazitova G.Kh., 1979). Now the absence of a loved one is difficult for the child, just as at 2 months the child was especially sensitive to the constancy of the person caring for him, so now he needs the stability of the mother's emotional response.

This new period of anxiety and fears of the child actually reflects the progress in his development, but sets new tasks for adults: to help the child overcome the growing anxieties in violation of habitual forms of life. And mechanisms capable of solving these problems are again beginning to mature in common games. The content of these games, of course, remains direct emotional infection and communication around the toy. At the same time, the experience of very special impressions begins to occupy an increasing place in them. Now he begins to attract and amuse what used to frighten him. The first fears of the child were associated with a rapid approach to him, a sharp imbalance, a sudden interruption of the usual rhythm. As part of the overall game, such impressions begin to make him laugh: he laughs when he is "butted", "caught up", thrown up on his knees and hands. Novelty and surprise are being introduced into games more and more, it is woven into the general rhythmic organization familiar to the baby, into the habitually repeating stereotype of the game as an element of the plot that appears for the first time, adventures - “Now I will eat you”, “Over the bumps, into the hole boo”, etc. P. So the child begins to train the ability to survive the situation of violation of the stereotype, to experience the pleasure of surprise.

These tasks are all the more relevant because at this time the whole life situation of the child changes significantly. This is primarily due to the fact that the baby in the process of its growth becomes more resilient, mobile and more often finds itself in unexpected, unstable situations - it faces new adaptive tasks. A. Vallon characterizes this age by the fact that the "new" begins to frighten the child less and give more pleasure, he becomes more and more curious. Fundamentally new relations with the world begin to develop, based on the development of affective mechanisms of adaptation to changing, uncertain conditions - mechanisms of expansion. They, as mentioned above, are first experienced by a child under the protection of an adult in the mainstream of general play as an experience of an acute moment with its immediate positive resolution.

So, by the end of the first year, the child's stereotyped "circular activity" in manipulations with objects and toys disappears; what is important is not so much repeatability and reliability as novelty, the discovery of new possibilities. Therefore, he has the ability to be more flexible, enterprising in handling toys. And again, the opportunities obtained in the game begin to be gradually used by the child for real adaptation.

About 9-10 months, the first attempts to actively explore the near space are observed. This becomes really possible not only because by this time the child gets the opportunity of independent movement (primarily crawling, he begins to break away from his mother, explore distant and unfamiliar places). It is the emergence of curiosity, the possibility, in case of a violation of the usual course of events, to experience not panic, but interest, which underlies the development of true exploratory behavior. In addition, now the child begins to pay attention not only to the subject of interest to him, but also to the obstacle on the way to the goal. He begins to take into account, and then to examine, to look for ways to overcome the barrier, for the first time he gets the opportunity to see and evaluate the results of his trial and error, without which it is impossible to establish cause-and-effect relationships in the future. It was at this time that the first attempts of the baby to move the obstacle, to reach the right thing with the help of a stick, another toy usually appear, that is, the appearance of the first experience of using tools. It is known that these attempts are evaluated as very milestone in the intellectual development of the child, but achieving it is impossible without the formation of an appropriate affective expansion mechanism - adaptation to changing conditions that mobilize to master the new, to overcome obstacles.

As is known, along with the acquisition of skills of independent movement in space, the most important adaptive achievement by the end of the first year is the beginning of speech development. Of course, it was wrong to count speech development from the appearance of the first words, which is typical for this particular time. Prior to this, the most important stage in the development of the proto-language had been passed. From the very first months, the baby actively communicated with loved ones with the help of cooing, cooing, in this interaction he learned to understand and repeat the mother's intonations, express his states and pronounce the phonemes of his native language.

The stage of babbling just reflects this ability of the child to reproduce stable combinations of sounds, and at some point this turns into his favorite pastime. Babble is stimulated by the participation of an adult and constantly accompanies common games. Increasingly, the child begins to purely repeat after his mother and weave into his babble new sound combinations that are interesting to him. Interestingly, if at this moment the mother again repeats the sounds reproduced by him after the child, he begins to play them especially actively. So his babble is getting closer and closer to the sound structure of his native language.

Against this background, stable designations for the most familiar and favorite household and play activities, common to adults and children, begin to be fixed. The attachment of the first protowords to these recurring situations (“bye-bye”, “coo-coo”, “bang”, “tick-tock”, “bye”) becomes possible due to the reliance on the affective stereotype of interaction between an adult and a child that has already developed by this time. . Thus, we see that and speech development is directly dependent on the formation of the mechanisms of affective organization of behavior.

With the development of the stereotype of emotional interaction, the isolation in it of a fused unity of more specific relations between an adult and a child, the appearance of the first "real" words used as a request, appeal, call, and, finally, an indication (mother, give, etc.) is also associated. . Thus, the possibilities of mediated contact are further expanded - not only through objects, toys, gestures, but already through the word. The word begins to denote the quality of the relationship, the quality of what is happening with the child ("good", "no", "possible", "byaka", "bo-bo"), thereby preparing new opportunity regulation of his behavior. In the meantime, he himself uses these words for pleasure, for playing, confirming the pleasant repetition or novelty of the situation, the possibility of controlling it.

Thus, at the end of the first year, the child experiences a state of not just well-being, but rather even some emotional upsurge: he owns a well-developed life stereotype, developed ways of emotional interaction with loved ones, and is active in learning new things. He is in the center of attention of all those close to him, his achievements are discussed and admired by everyone. The kid begins to demonstrate his skills at the request, and this also turns into exciting game, a means of enhancing the emotional reaction of loved ones. It is no coincidence that against this background, the first steady successes appear in mastering the elements of social and everyday skills (with pleasure hugs and kisses at the request, says goodbye, begins to ask for a potty, support a cup or spoon, etc.) and fairly detailed game rituals, such as "okladushki", "magpie-crow". Very important in the perspective of further development is the possibility of a longer unification of the attention of a child with a loved one on some common action, the ability to look at a picture in a book together, show a cockerel or a dog, demonstrate how they "talk", listen to fairly long children's poems. Nevertheless, the next step in affective development again becomes the loss of emotional balance - the first serious crisis in relations with an adult, characteristic of a one-year-old child.

According to L.S. Vygotsky, the formation of walking is the moment of entry into the period of this crisis - the period of "rapid development of affective life - the first stage in the development of children's will." Although traditionally this crisis is not considered acute, nevertheless, even at this time, pronounced disturbances in sleep and wakefulness, loss of appetite, and an increase in emotional lability (the appearance of tearfulness, resentment) can be observed at this time. These difficulties appear quite naturally and fit into the general logic of affective development. Let us consider what is the meaning of the upheavals occurring at this time with the child.

Mastering walking dramatically changes life situation. An adult ceases to be a prerequisite for the adaptation of a child, who is increasingly left alone with the outside world and at times begins to lose a loved one as an indispensable emotional guide. During this period, not only the physical, but also the mental separation of the child from the adult takes place - the separation of his self-perception from the former merged experience of "We".

The difficulties of adaptation that the child experiences at this critical time are manifested in the fact that he, left alone, falls under the power of the forceful influences of the surrounding sensory field. At this time, impressions begin to capture the child so much that it begins to interfere with the development of his interaction with adults. It can be extremely difficult for him to break away from the object of interest to him and share attention with an adult (as it was before). It becomes difficult to reach him, he is too immersed in stringing the rings of the pyramid, carrying the typewriter, he cannot take his eyes off it, he is captured by pouring sand, shifting pebbles. A characteristic example of "field" behavior can also be the desire to run recklessly in the direction of an object you like, to perform actions dictated by the situation and the properties of objects: endlessly open and close doors, climb into all boxes in a row, without even focusing on their contents, climb ladders, chairs , "stick" to the fence, etc. At the same time, a loved one of the child, who until recently completely controlled his regulation of behavior, faces the fact that he often cannot lead the baby away from some random impression.

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Help in raising children with special emotional development (early age) Baenskaya Elena Rostislavovna

The main stages of the emotional development of the child are normal

The process of a child's mental development in the first year of life cannot be considered outside of his constant interaction with his mother, who is the mediator and organizer of almost all his contacts with the outside world. Analysis of the process of interaction in the dyad mother-child, its dynamics in different age periods is devoted to a number of works of both domestic and foreign researchers (Vygotsky L.S., 1983; Lisina M.I., 1974; Meshcheryakova S.Yu., 1978; Mazitova G.Kh., 1977; Avdeeva N.N., 1982 and others). A child in the early stages of development depends on the mother not only physically - as a source of all his vital needs (for satiety, warmth, security, etc.), but also as a regulator of his emotional state: she can calm, relax, invigorate , console, support emotional stability, endurance, increase activity, reduce exhaustion and set up to complicate relationships with the outside world. The most important condition for this is the possibility of synchronizing the emotional states of mother and child: infection with a smile, mood, empathy for what is happening around. For a child, maternal calmness and self-confidence are extremely important, giving him a sense of reliability, since this is how the baby’s primary need for stability and emotional comfort is realized (Erikson E., 1992). Many people know how much more calm and prosperous in comparison with the first child often turns out to be: he interacts with an already more experienced mother - skillful and easier to communicate with.

1st stage- age up to 2-3 months. The central moment in the mental development of a child in the first months of life, as is known, is the formation individual affection(Ainsworth M.D., 1962 and others). Within the framework of this emotional community, according to L.S. Vygotsky (1984), in the experience of the “Prase We”, the individual affective mechanisms of the child mature and develop, which in the future are transformed into the ability to independently resolve life tasks: to organize oneself, to maintain and maintain activity in relations with the world.

Let us consider in more detail these affective mechanisms and the processes of their formation at an early age during the interaction of a child with loved ones.

In the process of development, the child consistently faces more and more complex life tasks, and in order to solve them at each stage, it becomes necessary to actively include a new way of organizing behavior in the work.

The first such vital task is the mutual adaptation of the infant and mother to each other in ordinary situations of interaction (feeding, bathing, swaddling, putting to bed, etc.). These situations are repeated from day to day, and it is in them that the baby develops the first affective stereotypes of behavior, his first individual habits (for example, whether he takes a dummy or not, falls asleep in his mother's arms or in a crib, etc.). This is how the primary adaptation of the child to the conditions of the environment and, above all, to those of them that are fairly stable and uniform. The stability (regularity and rhythm) of everyday life is primarily set by the mother of the child, since, as already mentioned, it is she who is the organizer and constant mediator of meeting absolutely all the vital needs of the child (in satiety, warmth, comfort, tactile contacts, communication, and others).

These first, initially dominant forms of child adaptation, based on the assimilation of stable elements of life common with the close environment, are still very limited. The baby of the first two or three months of life is characteristically impatient, he reacts badly to changes in the daily routine, for example, to violations of the feeding regimen, sleep-wakefulness, etc.), to a change in the situation; he is having a hard time replacing the person caring for him, getting used to certain “hands” and behavior (Brazelton T.V., 1972).

The pronounced affective manifestations of the child during this period are mostly negative and are expressed in screaming or crying. Their adaptive meaning is a simple signaling effect on an adult, a call to satisfy urgent needs, to eliminate the unpleasant. However, these signals call the adult not only to the direct satisfaction of the specific needs of the child. An adult, as a rule, also applies more general methods of comforting a baby. The most common of them are firmly established in traditional culture. nursing baby motion sickness, cradle, pacifier. It is characteristic that all of them are based on the rhythmic organization of sensations that are very important for the infant, primarily vestibular, oral, and tactile. The baby soon begins to actively use these and other (for example, thumb sucking) techniques that help him calm down when someone close is not around. Subsequently, when the child masters more complex ways of "self-soothing" and " self-toning", the need for them becomes less - so, by six to seven months, thumb sucking usually stops (Braselton T.B., 1982). However, these techniques can be firmly fixed if the baby is in conditions of prolonged discomfort (deprived of the attention of loved ones, etc.). An example is the often observed in children and older children, the endless rocking and sucking of a finger or corner of the diaper in cases of the so-called hospitalism(a temporary change in the mental state and behavior of the child caused by a chronic lack of communication) (Spitz R.A., 1945; Bowlby J., 1979).

Normally, relatives quite soon master ways of caring for a child and methods of controlling his emotional state, therefore, as a rule, the end of the third month is characterized by the emergence of a balance in the expression of positive and negative emotions (Vallon A., 1967; Vygotsky L.S., 1984) , and the interaction of the child with the mother is increasingly beginning to be determined by positive emotions.

2nd stage- from 3 to 5-6 months. By this time, the basic stereotypes of meeting the needs of the child have already developed, and his need for communication, attention and direct emotional response from an adult comes to the fore.

As you know, the very face of a person from the first month of life is the most powerful and significant irritant for the baby. Now, however, his emotional expression, eyes and smile of a loved one are becoming more and more significant. If a two-three-month-old infant reacts to any face, and even to its very rough imitation (in the experiment, for example, a circle and two dots instead of eyes) or a mask, with animation and prefers it in terms of fixation time to any other stimulus presented, then after three months the child waiting for a smile adult. Experimental data are also known, according to which children look at their mother's face more often and longer when it expresses pleasure (Epanchin B.C., Paul J., 1987). Moreover, there are observations (experiments by O.V. Bazhenova, 1985) indicating that at this age a child, at the sight of an indifferent person bending over him, experiences anxiety and anxiety.

A new class of individual life stereotypes of the child begins to develop - the ways he is accustomed to establishing and maintaining communication, direct emotional communication. The previously demanding cry begins to become more diverse, acquires the intonation of a request (Bruner J., 1977). The child learns more and more diverse forms of communication, participating in the usual rituals of emotional interaction with an adult in various situations (care for a child, stereotypes of early games adopted in a given family, etc.). The most common form and way of getting general pleasure at this time is the game of "hide and seek" - the appearance and disappearance of an adult's face from the baby's field of vision, when the latter covers his or the child's face for a second. The moment of resuming eye contact is experienced by the baby most acutely and causes him a storm of delight.

In the future, in common games with an adult, not only direct emotional “infection”, but also a general concentration, for example, on a brightly colored and sounding toy, gradually begins to acquire more and more importance. With its help, an adult gets the opportunity not only to calm the baby, but also to cheer him up, increase his activity. It should be noted that in interactions of this kind, their rhythmic and repetitive character continues to play a particularly important role.

Soon the child himself gets the opportunity to independently tone himself with the help of active manipulation of the sensory environment. By this time, he already has the ability not only to take a toy, but also to carry out various coordinated actions with it (knock, throw, twirl, etc.), receiving a variety of sensory sensations. It should be especially noted that the latter are much more complex and varied than those associated with the primitive actions of self-irritation characteristic of a child at the age of the first two or three months. Nevertheless, they still remain rhythmically organized and are more aimed at reproducing a certain desired sensory (sound, visual, tactile) effect than at an active examination of the environment.

It should also be noted that the fundamental changes in the child's assessment of the affective state of another person, which occur during the first six months of life, consist in the appearance of a greater orientation towards quality of this state, that is, its “sign” (positive, negative, or neutral). According to an experimental study (Lisina M.I., Meshcheryakova S.Yu., Sorokina A.I., 1983), children of the first half of the year are more sensitive to difference in attention intensity adult. For them, for example, it is not so important that the expression of an adult in this moment negative (with an expression of anger, reproach), but at the same time, children of this age have a sharply manifested special negative reaction to the indifference of an adult, and in this case the child looks alarmed, depressed, upset.

3rd stage- from 5–6 to 10–11 months This is the stage of formation and predominance of “circular (circular) reactions” in behavior (according to J. Piaget, 1956), which covers a significant part of the second half of a child's life.

Shortly after the child begins to pull himself up and lean on his legs, his behavior becomes characterized by endless jumping and throwing a toy or pacifier out of the crib. At the same time, it is important that with the greatest intensity and, most importantly, with the greatest joy, this circulating activity turns into a game in the presence and with the participation of an adult. At the same time, the child receives pleasure not only from the actions he performs, but from the reaction of the adult. At this age, the earlier game of "hide and seek" acquires the same character of endless repetition. Now the child himself can hide and stick out, catching the eye of an adult. Such repeated activity allows the child to independently maintain a sense of reliability and stability in relations with the world. At the same time, with its help, further development of interactions with loved ones takes place. It is on the basis of such equally reproducible reactions that play rituals are usually formed, giving the adult and the child the opportunity to unite attention, to focus not only directly on each other, but also on some external object that gives them mutual pleasure. These rituals prepare the possibility of the appearance of the first signs of such situations and prepare both the child and the adult to be able to control each other's attention and coordinate their emotional reactions and evaluations.

The ability to control the attention of another is associated with the development in the child of a readiness to follow the pointing gestures of an adult and the appearance at this stage of his own pointing gesture.

The ability to coordinate interaction begins to form. Until now, a directed appeal to an adult was not so relevant for a child. The adult and the child were such a unity that the desires of the baby were fulfilled as if automatically - in response to a simple designation by him of any requirement or signal of discomfort. If earlier the child simply reached for the object of desire, now he stretches out his arms to him, fixing his eyes on the adult, which indicates the appearance of the first appeals and pointing gesture.

Feedback is also formed in emotional interaction. The child gradually begins to take into account the emotional reaction of the adult to his actions. If at an earlier stage of development, the baby had a primitive affective "infection" with the most vivid state of another person (initially - yawning, later - laughter, crying), expressed in a plastic reflection of this state, now the ability to truly imitate the emotional reactions of adults begins to form. So, a five-month-old child can already imitate the expression of the mother's face and play with pleasure with the expression of his face in the mirror (Braselton T.V., 1982). This ability of an adequate emotional response, which is initially worked out in the game, leads to the mutual coordination of emotional states; as a result, the child has the possibility of a more active and diverse impact on the environment. By six months, the child is already well aware of the main emotions of his loved ones and begins to differentiate and adequately express his attitude to a particular situation (surprise, resentment, sadness, anger, joy, confusion, embarrassment, etc.).

Thus, the described period is a stage of intensive formation of the technical side of emotional interaction in the dyad mother child, the development by the child of all its necessary components - such as the ability to independently change the position of the body, the distance of communication, facial expression - but the central role, of course, belongs to the look as the strongest regulator of behavior.

In the second half of life, infants, as a rule, already begin to evaluate the expression of adult displeasure as something of fundamental importance and respond to it accordingly (frown, move away, cry resentfully).

The growing selective orientation of the child to the emotional reactions of a loved one qualitatively changes his relationship with the environment. He becomes less dependent on his immediate stimuli and more dependent on the mediating emotional reaction of the mother, now not just calming or activating, but already directionally organizing his behavior. With increasing success, a close adult manages to “persuade” the child to wait a little, endure certain uncomfortable conditions, “infect” him with his calmness and positive emotions, and focus the child’s attention on something important or interesting. The data of A. Gesell (1974) confirm that at the age of 7–8 months, the baby acquires much greater affective stability in relation to contacts with the world, and it can be assumed that a differentiated orientation of the child to the emotional reaction of the mother makes a huge contribution to its achievement.

However, these more complex ways of developing a stable, reliable relationship of the child with the world also turn out to be insufficient. The baby becomes vulnerable in a new way in its adaptability. He begins to show anxiety in case of violation not so much of the usual forms of care, but of the stereotype of relationships with loved ones. It was said above that the recognition of the mother by the infant was noted even before the age of six months, this was manifested in the fact that when interacting with her, he was more happy and more often took the initiative than when in contact with other people around him - this is the so-called positive recognition (Mazitova G. H., 1979 ). Now the absence of a close adult is painfully perceived. With the departure of the mother - the center of the baby's affective adaptation to the world - at this age, the child naturally develops anxiety. Just as at the age of two months the child was especially sensitive to the constancy of the person caring for him, now he needs the stability of the mother's emotional response.

The result of the development of a stereotype of individual relationships with loved ones is the fear of a “stranger face” characteristic of the age of 8 months: at the sight of a stranger, the child demonstrates fear and displeasure (Maccoby E., Masters J., 1970; White B.L., 1975) or at least embarrassment and confusion (Smirnova E.O., Kondratovich I.A., 1973).

This new period of anxiety and fears of the child actually reflects the progress in his development, but puts before the adult new task: to help the child overcome the anxiety that occurs when habitual forms of life are violated. Mechanisms capable of solving this problem begin to "ripen", as before, in general games. The content of these games, of course, remains direct emotional "infection" and communication about the toy. At the same time, the experience of completely new and special impressions begins to occupy an increasing place in them. Now the baby begins to attract and amuse what used to frighten him. The very first fears of the child were associated with a rapid approach to him, a sharp imbalance, a sudden interruption of the usual rhythm. At this stage, within the framework of the general game, such actions begin to make him laugh: he laughs when he is “butted”, “caught up”, thrown up on his knees and hands, etc. plot, adventure into a general, rhythmically organized and habitually repeating stereotype of the game, familiar to the baby (“Now I will eat you”, “Over the bumps, into the hole boo”, etc.). So the child begins to train the ability to survive the situation of violation of the stereotype and experience the pleasure of surprise.

These tasks are all the more relevant because at this time the whole life situation of the child changes significantly. The kid in the process of his growth becomes more and more resilient, mobile and more often finds himself in unexpected, unstable situations, in connection with which, naturally, he faces new adaptive tasks. A. Vallon (1967) believes that at this age the “new” begins to frighten less and attract the child more, giving him pleasure, in connection with which he becomes more and more curious. Fundamentally new relations with the surrounding world begin to develop, based on the development of affective mechanisms of adaptation to changing, uncertain conditions - expansion mechanisms. They, as mentioned above, are first tested by the child in the mainstream of general play under the protection of an adult as an experience of an acute moment with its immediate positive resolution.

So, by the end of the first year, the child's stereotypical "circular activity" in manipulating objects decreases. It is not so much repeatability and reliability that become important for him, but novelty and the discovery of new possibilities, in connection with which the ability to be more enterprising, inventive in handling toys appears, and the opportunities obtained in the game, as before, gradually begin to be used by the child for real life. adaptation.

About 9–10 months, the first attempts to actively explore the near space are observed. This becomes really possible not only because by this time the child gets the opportunity of independent movement, especially crawling (he begins to break away from his mother, explore distant and unfamiliar places). It is the emergence of curiosity, the possibility of experiencing not panic, but interest in the event of a violation of the usual course of events, which underlies the development of true exploratory behavior. In addition, now the child begins to pay attention not only to the subject of interest to him, but also to the obstacle on the way to the goal, which he begins to take into account, and then examine, look for ways to overcome it. So the baby for the first time gets the opportunity to see and evaluate the results of his own trial and error, without which it is impossible to establish cause-and-effect relationships in the future. It was at this time that the first attempts of the baby to move away the obstacle usually appear, to reach the right thing with the help of a stick, another toy, that is, the manifestation of the first experience of using tools. It is known that these attempts are assessed as a very important stage in the intellectual development of the child, but achieving it is impossible without the formation of an appropriate affective mechanism of expansion - adaptation to changing conditions that mobilize the child to learn new things, to overcome obstacles, etc.

As is known, along with the acquisition of skills of independent movement in space, the most important adaptive achievement by the end of the first year is the beginning of speech development. It would be wrong to count the beginning of this process from the moment the first words appeared, which is typical for this time. From the very first months, the baby actively communicated with loved ones with the help of cooing, cooing, in this interaction he learned to understand and repeat the mother's intonations, express his states and pronounce the sounds and their combinations characteristic of his native language.

Stage of babbling just reflects this ability of the child to reproduce stable combinations of sounds, which at some point turns into his favorite pastime. Babble is stimulated by the participation of an adult and constantly accompanies common games. Increasingly, the child begins to purely repeat after his mother and weave into his babble new sound combinations that are attractive to him. Interestingly, if at this moment the mother repeats the sounds reproduced by him after the child, he will begin to play them especially actively. So gradually the baby's babbling is getting closer and closer to the sound structure of the native language.

Against this background, stable designations for the most familiar and favorite household and play activities, common to adults and children, begin to be fixed. Assigning the first designations to these repeating situations ( "bye-bye", "coo-coo", "bang", "tick-tock", "bye") becomes possible due to the reliance on the affective stereotype of interaction between an adult and a child that has already developed by this time. Thus, it is obvious that speech development is directly dependent on the formation of the mechanisms of affective organization of behavior.

With the development of the stereotype of emotional interaction between an adult and a child and the isolation of more and more definite relations from their unity, the appearance of the first “real” words, which are used by the baby as a request, appeal, appeal, and, finally, an indication (“ mom, give etc.). Thus, the possibilities of mediated contact expand even more - not only through objects, toys, gestures, but already through the word. The word also begins to denote a qualitative assessment of what is happening with the child ( “good”, “byaka”, “bo-bo”, “can”, “impossible”), thereby preparing new possibilities for regulating its behavior. In the meantime, the baby himself uses these words for pleasure, play, confirmation of novelty or pleasant repetition of the situation, the ability to control it.

Thus, at the end of the first year of life, the child experiences a state of not just well-being, but rather even some emotional upsurge: he already has a well-developed life stereotype, developed ways of emotional interaction with loved ones, and is active in learning new things. He is in the center of attention of all those close to him, his achievements are discussed and admired by everyone. The kid begins to demonstrate his skills at the request, and this also turns into an exciting game for him, into a means of enhancing the emotional reaction of loved ones. It is no coincidence that against this background, the first steady successes appear in mastering both the elements of social and everyday skills (with pleasure hugs and kisses at the request, says goodbye, begins to ask for a potty, support a cup or spoon, etc.), and sufficiently developed game rituals (“patties”, “forty-crow”, etc.). In the perspective of further development, the possibility of a longer unification of the attention of a child and a close adult on the basis of some common action becomes extremely important, for example, jointly looking at a picture in a book, showing a cockerel or a dog, with a demonstration of how they “talk”; listening to fairly long children's poems, etc. Nevertheless, the next step in affective development again becomes the loss of emotional balance - the first serious crisis in relations with an adult, characteristic of a one-year-old child.

According to the definition of L.S. Vygotsky, the formation of walking and there is a moment of entry into the period of this crisis, into the period of "the rapid development of affective life - the first stage in the development of the child's will." Although traditionally this crisis is not considered acute, nevertheless, at this time and normally, pronounced disturbances in sleep and wakefulness, loss of appetite, and an increase in emotional lability (the appearance of tearfulness, resentment) can be observed. The emergence of these difficulties is completely natural and fits into the general logic of affective development. Let us consider what is the meaning of the upheavals occurring at this time with the child.

Mastering walking dramatically changes the life situation. An adult ceases to be a prerequisite for the adaptation of a child, who is increasingly left alone with the outside world and at times begins to “lose” a loved one as an indispensable emotional guide. During this period, not only the physical, but also the mental separation of the child from the adult takes place - the separation of his self-awareness from the former "We".

The difficulties of adaptation that the child experiences at this critical time are manifested in the fact that he, left alone, falls under the power of the forceful influences of the surrounding sensory field. At this time, external impressions begin to capture the child so much that it interferes with the development of his interaction with adults. It can be extremely difficult for him to break away from the object that interested him and, as it was before, to share attention with an adult. It is impossible to call the kid: he is too immersed in stringing the rings of the pyramid; selflessly carries a typewriter, unable to take his eyes off her; he is captured by pouring sand, shifting pebbles, etc. A typical example of “field” behavior (behavior determined by objects that accidentally appear in the field of perception of the child) can also be the desire to recklessly run in the direction of the object he likes, to perform actions dictated by the situation and the properties of the objects : endlessly open and close doors, climb into all the boxes in a row, without even focusing on their contents, climb ladders, chairs, “stick” to the fence, etc. that often he is not at all able to “tear off” the baby from some random impression.

When trying to suppress such tendencies in the child's behavior by prohibiting and / or directly imposing their logic of behavior, parents are faced with the fact that the previously obedient and calm child becomes stubborn and capricious, demonstrating vivid protest reactions - negativism, aggression. A toddler may even bite or hit an adult. Thus, the mother begins to feel that she is losing emotional control over the situation of interaction with the baby, who is completely captured by the “field” temptations that arise in front of him.

The least painful way out of the first affective crisis is based on the adult's understanding of the fact that the difficulties in interacting with the child are caused by his direct capture by the dynamics of the surrounding sensory field. In this case, he does not shift the blame on the child and does not come into conflict with either the baby or the field trends, but, trying to distract the baby as soon as possible, uses them, finding another vivid impression and switching the child's attention in a different direction. A pointing gesture and a pointing word are of great help in this. Every attentive mother knows that a child will not have a serious protest reaction if you do not simply try to pull him away from a puddle or a fence or forbid him to pick up a noticed pebble, but indicate another, no less bright, affective point of the environment ( “There the bird flew”, “Look what car”), that is, use another distracting activity, which is also set by the field ( "Run down that path" etc.).

It is characteristic that such techniques are traditionally adopted for the organization of a one-year-old child. They are usually offered by an experienced grandmother, but a mother who is in a hurry can be too upset by an unexpected change in her relationship with the baby, and, as a result, she often tries to “break” him, demanding good behavior at a time when he simply cannot fulfill her request. For example, a baby often cannot interrupt his action if it is not finished (the book is not filled, the pyramid is not completed, the contents of the box are not completely shaken out, etc.). Conflicts are often associated with situations characteristic of this time of crisis. It is difficult, for example, to seat a child who has already asked for it on the potty. There is a discord in the situation of feeding, when the child, already holding a spoon in his hand, begins to actively smear food on the table, there are difficulties both with going for a walk and with returning home, with putting to bed, etc. It should be specially emphasized that the emergence of a stable conflict can cause an aggravation of the manifestations of the crisis described above, which, with the appropriate correct attitude towards them, can be smoothed out.

Conducting "distractions" does not mean "following the lead" of a capricious child. "Distracting maneuvers" are both an ambulance in the organization of the child's behavior, and a way to maintain an emotional connection with the baby, and a means that gives pleasure and comfort in interacting with him. They protect the baby from the accumulation of negative experience, they retain the necessary ideas about themselves as a good, obedient child. In addition, under their protection, the mechanisms of independent overcoming of impulsive tendencies get the opportunity to “ripen”. It should be noted that this process is also extremely difficult without special assistance close, and this help, also provided quite naturally, is not considered by relatives as some kind of special effort. Traditionally, at this time, they begin to pronounce in great detail with the child not only what is happening to him now (as it was before the year), but also what will happen in the near future ( “Now we will buy milk, then we will go up the hill, say hello to the children, ride a little and go home ...”). It is characteristic that at this time the child begins to listen with pleasure to stories about himself, about his recent “exploits”. Such a semantic comment helps to introduce a momentary situation into the general life context.

At this time, the development of speech allows the child to begin to include himself in this commentary. He not only listens with pleasure, but also names individual bright phenomena (events, objects, etc.), noting what is happening not only for a close adult, as it was before, but also for himself. The beginning of the development of a child's active vocabulary is largely associated with the desire to streamline the world. Starts to develop "egocentric speech"(Piaget J., Vygotsky L.S., 1956). According to L.S. Vygotsky, one of its most important functions is planning. It is the possibility of planning - setting and maintaining a common semantic perspective - in the future that will give the child the opportunity to safely get out of the crisis of the first year.

Obviously, at this difficult moment in the development of the baby, the retention of an emotional connection with him by his loved ones is of great importance for the formation of egocentric speech. A common commentary with an adult, in which the impressions of everyday life are lived, consolidated, put in order, allows the child to feel its stability, reliability and predictability. At the same time, dangerous situations are indicated. Thus, the baby is gradually developing the ability to organize itself with the help of rules that are meaningful together with the adult: what can be done and what cannot be done is dangerous; what is "good" and what is "bad". He is now “good” not only because everyone loves him, but also because he follows the rule, meeting the expectations of those close to him.

Development from one to three years

The period of early childhood (beginning with the exit from the first affective crisis and ending with the entry into a new crisis at the age of 3) is one of the most intense and eventful periods of the child's emotional development. Traditionally, the child's achievements in the sensorimotor sphere and the development of speech skills are attributed to this time, but here, in accordance with our goals, we will consider how these achievements of the child are ensured by his advancement in affective development.

During this period, the child continues to actively explore individual ways affective organization of their relations with the world. It has already been said above that the first task that confronted him when he learned to move in space himself was to establish his own safety distance in interaction with the environment. Until the child began to actively move around, these issues were within the competence of an adult, and in those moments when the baby was left alone for a short time, he was kept by an instinctive sense of self-preservation - “a sense of the edge”. Possible bruises and falls at that time were more likely to be associated not with negligence, but with lack of coordination of movements, then the relatives themselves actively encouraged the baby to admit any element of risk, helping him to sit down from a standing position, break away from the support, overcome thresholds and steps.

At the age of about one year, when the child finds himself alone with the exciting influence of the sensory field, he temporarily loses not only the sense of danger, but also the possibility of maintaining his more or less meaningful line of behavior. The kid becomes careless, he can rush somewhere without looking, like trying to put his finger into the socket, although he already knows that this is impossible and “bobo”, runs after everything that moves, etc. It takes time for so that both the sense of the edge and the possibility of retaining the general meaning of what is happening returned to him.

In interaction with a loved one, in “infection” with his assessment of what is happening, the child already forms his own emotional “marks” dangerous places, which he gradually begins to follow punctually, and already warns his mother about a hole in the road or informs him that now he can run without holding the handle. So the baby has the first ways to establish a distance with a possible danger.

At the new level, the development of other details of a stable way of life continues. As follows from the above, during normal development, a one-year-old child has already formed a fairly developed affective stereotype of his life with a set of certain habits in everyday and play behavior and ways of emotional contact. This stereotype was created by the mother, was constantly supported by her, and, despite the fact that the baby's contribution to it was constantly increasing, was their common property. Sharing the constant infantile unity with the mother, the more and more frequent stay of the baby alone with the increasingly complex world around him require a clearer and more stable "marking" not only in relation to danger, but also to pleasant, "good" recurring impressions. All aspects of the baby's life are noticeably enriched. This ordering of surrounding impressions is carried out primarily with the help of the word. Actually, for the mother, this ordering is the introduction into the life of the baby more and more names of objects and their properties. If the first words that appeared in the region of the year were predominantly demonstrative, now it is precisely naming, which always occurs in an emotionally significant situation. It is important to note that the child usually repeats the word introduced in this way.

Therefore, ordering goes under the sign “mine” (although the baby may not speak in the first person for quite a long time). At this time, the child defines and begins to name the permanent attributes of all his activities: the plate from which he eats; pajamas, a potty, a toy with which he sleeps; a blanket, a rug on the wall, etc. The period of gathering, hoarding begins: the baby begins to collect toys in a box, he develops an interest in small objects (buttons, pebbles, pencils, pieces of paper, leaflets), and he is especially interested when they are immediately lot. The kid becomes the owner, and this is a natural and important period of affective development of the world around him.

Gradually, the child develops a collection of stable signs himself. All manifestations of “oneself in the world” become important, and a child of this age especially carefully monitors their constancy. Regularity, repeatability of achieving results and confirmation by others of his success are important to him. Just at this time, the baby tries to be the center of attention, sitting on the potty, and then proudly demonstrate its contents; begins to scribble with chalk or pencil, noting with satisfaction the resulting trace; not only recognizes himself in the mirror, but also experiments with reflection with pleasure, etc.

The baby gradually develops complexes of stable signs surrounding. First of all, of course, this is the world of things connected with people - first with loved ones ("mother's bag", "grandfather's glasses", "grandmother's knitting needles", "daddy's watch"), then - with those who especially struck (the policeman's whistle, the driver's cap etc.). And here the baby is trying to maintain the "reliability" of the signs he has mastered, keeping an eye on the preservation of the belonging of the thing, the attribute of the character, the usual ritual of dealing with each of his relatives.

Against the background of this assertion of the constancy and reliability of the environment and himself in it, the child begins to actively experiment with himself. Just at this time, being already in a fairly well-established relationship with the environment, he performs reckless actions with his body, often really dangerous: the baby can, carried away, stuff some small object in his nose, pull a bag over his head, etc. Experiments with speech are also characteristic of this time: for example, having barely learned to speak, the child tries to rhyme or jokingly distort words. Now he begins to use the toy in a truly comprehensive way, "extracting" from the process of "communication" with her all her possible properties and functional qualities. At the same time, the baby is strongly captured by the impressions received and is completely immersed in their experience. This time is characterized by long fuss with the details of the designer, cubes, wheels, boxes, liners, pyramids, cars, strollers, sand, water pouring. At the same time, not only the functional meaning of the toy is significant, but also its “sensual texture”; a child can, for example, be immersed for a long time in the feeling of roughness or smoothness of its surface, follow the glare, etc.

At this age, among the impressions that capture the child, a significant place begins to be occupied by impressions initially associated with vitally significant sensations, which becomes possible just after a certain weakening of dependence on “field” tendencies observed during this period. This leads to a new increase in the baby's attention to the sensations of his own body, to games with self-irritation. It is at this time that episodes of masturbation, tugging at the ear, navel, etc., disturbing the mother, may appear. In a prosperous environment, they will remain episodes, but under conditions of hospitalism, asthenia, prolonged stress, etc., they can gain a firm foothold.

In addition, now the child gets a greater opportunity to realize the meaning of what is happening - to "grab" the ethological sign of the situation. First of all, this concerns the restoration of the lost one's own sense of danger, and the baby often feels it even more sharply than an adult. For example, he can feel as a threat any hole, any violation of the integrity of the object (a hole in the sink where water goes, a ball blown off before his eyes, etc.). From this it becomes clear why at this time children are so sensitive to the irregularity of the face, to the disproportion of the human figure; the baby clearly expresses fear of a mask or an old face.

Later, when the child is able, together with the adult, to “put” this specific bright frightening impression into the holistic semantic context of the situation (and thus secure it), he begins to pronounce what is happening, marking it, delimiting it from himself and thereby confirming his security ( “Grandmother is old”, “Uncle’s leg is sick”, “Now all the dirty water will run away”). Sometimes there are also attempts by the child to directly oppose himself: “Uncle’s leg hurts, but Petya doesn’t”, which testifies not at all to the callousness of the child, but rather to his desire to establish himself in the awareness of his own safety. That is why he so readily responds to his mother's consolations in situations where he himself falls or hits ( “Almost fell”, “Blowed - and everything went away”).

The ability to sensitively grasp the ethological sign of the situation gives the baby at an early age and a lot of pleasure. This, for example, is the basis of one of the favorite children's games - climbing into a "mink", that is, into some kind of shelter: under a bush, in a box, under a table.

Reappears Special attention to a loved one, but it already manifests itself in quite a variety of ways of expressing love and tenderness - in kisses, hugs, affectionate names.

At the same time, the child begins to be attracted to peers, he is "infected" by their fuss, running around, in which he seeks to participate, getting a lot of pleasure from the general movement and tactile contacts. The child does not yet single out individuals and attachments (it is not for nothing that adults say: "Let's go to the kids"), the main thing is to have many children together, movement, tactile contacts.

In those cases when other impressions that are exciting for the child are included in the game, for example, with “sand”, water, with some kind of construction from cubes or children's mosaics, children most often play “side by side” with concentration.

The development of a sensory affective stereotype in relations with the world gives the child very clear, detailed guidelines in determining, fixing and subsequently recognizing such categories as pleasant, joyful and terrible. Usually researchers of affective development pay the most attention to the age of three - a new crisis period in the development of the child. Here we want to emphasize the significance of the preceding period, which creates the basic prerequisites for a leap in the development of the child's individual self-awareness. The impressions that a child experiences at this age are firmly fixed in his affective memory and become the basis for an intuitive understanding of the meaning of what is happening (comfort or discomfort, stability, well-being and danger, good taste and disgust, disgust), which will be relevant for him all his life. Everyone can be convinced of this by paying attention to the brightness of the recognition of the quality of an impression when it coincides with childhood memories.

The child collects impressions for working out his individual stereotype on his own, but so far he can organize them into a system only with the help of relatives. He enjoys listening to increasingly complex stories about himself and everything that happens around him, likes to have multiple repetitions in them, often asks questions that provoke them, and rejoices when he hears the expected answer. Does the kid get the greatest pleasure from the organization, orderliness of his own life? and his home. In order for the child to feel comfortable, the usual rituals must be observed that accompany waking up, going to bed, receiving guests, getting ready for a walk, on the road, the walk itself, etc.

With the help of a thing that has become someone's obligatory attribute and turned out to be included in the ritual of interaction, the child masters new forms of imitation. If earlier the baby involuntarily followed the intonation, plasticity, gestures of a loved one, now he begins with pleasure to single out mom, dad, himself, other loved ones, consciously portraying everyone with the help of the most characteristic, significant attributes for them (glasses, shoes, briefcase, tie, etc.). d.). In the same way, the attributes of other significant persons for the child are “worked out” - a doctor, a policeman, a driver, etc.

Another effective way to organize a child's experiences at this time is through the first children's books. Of course, already before the age of one, the baby begins to listen to the first songs, nursery rhymes, poems, look at the pictures in the book, but he is impressed primarily by the intonation of the mother, the rhythm set by the verses, some of the plots of the pictures that the mother emotionally “loses” in front of the baby, involving him "in empathy" ( “The testicle fell and broke. Grandfather cries: "A-a", the woman cries: "A-a-a" ...). The desire for such a rhythmic organization of impressions is retained in the child even when he grows older. For young children, it is precisely those books that are successful that set the rhythm, repetition, enumeration and degree of detail of impressions, similar to those set in the famous "Kolobok" and "Teremka". It is valuable for a baby if this rhythm is set not only by words and rhymes, but also by illustrations. The illustrations preferred by the child rhythmically organize not only the events taking place in the plot, but also carefully reproduced sets of those familiar things that the child is familiar with (for example, the famous illustrations by Yu. Vasnetsov, depicting household items related to the kitchen, nursery, vegetable garden, garden , river, nearby forest, etc.).

IV. The main stages in the development of communication with peers in early and preschool childhood The last question to be considered in the article concerns the genesis of children's communication with peers in the first seven years of life. The selection of this aspect is due to the genetic nature

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Early stages of emotional development

But now the baby is at home, his parents carefully and carefully look after him, they do everything according to the schedule, listen to the advice of doctors and elders, read books about the rules of care. Here are just books about the mental, emotional development of the baby they rarely come across. And why: if only he was dry, fed, slept well, did not cry.

Crying is bad, it should be avoided, it is a signal that it is necessary to change diapers, give a pacifier, etc. Do parents ever think that crying is not only a signal of inconvenience and discontent, but also a call for communication, this is the very first language of the child, form of manifestation of desire in understanding. Remember what you did when your baby started crying - did you take him in your arms and caress him, comfort him, or, following strict instructions, rush to change diapers, teach him to be independent in a separate bed so that he “does not get used to hands”? But bodily communication was understandable for the baby even when he was sitting in his tummy, and this is the closest form of relationship for him now with those around him - tactile, bodily contacts. And how much did you talk with the baby, reassure, say that you love and understand him in the first days, weeks, months of his life? It has been proven that babies react differently to the voice of mom, dad, grandmother, strangers, in total they distinguish up to 30 voice shades and intonations. Communicating with each other in a friendly, calm way, you do not scare the baby, do not create grounds for anxiety and fears. Rude conversations, discussion of their problems, showdown in front of the baby internally disturb him, strain him, hence the crying “for no apparent reason”, sleepless nights. Dysfunctional relationships between parents have always been, are and will be the cause of children's emotional problems.

Remember if you had this, and if “yes”, then this is another reason for your current misunderstanding of your child, this is an answer to bewilderment: “After all, we are doing everything for him, because everything is fine with us now.”

A person constantly loses something in his life - things, time, opportunities, relationships, people. Probably, there is not a single day when something would not be lost. And perhaps not a single hour or even a minute. Loss is the norm of human life and, accordingly, there must be some kind of “normal” emotional reaction to the loss.

One of the first to study such an emotional reaction to bereavement was the psychologist Elisabeth Kübler-Ros. She observed the reactions of terminally ill patients to her diagnosis and identified five stages of experience:

1. Denial. The person cannot believe in his diagnosis.

2. Aggression. Claims against doctors, anger at healthy people.

3. Bidding. Bargaining with fate, "Oh, if only I...".

4. Depression. Despair, loss of interest in life.

5. Acceptance. “I did not live in vain and now I can die…”.

Later, this model was transferred to the experience of any loss, including the smallest ones. The passage of these five (six) stages is considered the “norm” of experiencing loss. The speed of their passage depends on the severity of the loss and on the level of "maturity" of the individual. The lighter the losses, the faster they are experienced. The “norm” for the most severe losses (for example, the loss of a loved one) is no more than a year or two. On the contrary, failure to pass these stages, hanging on any of them, can be considered a deviation from the norm.

This model was also supplemented by some psychologists with the sixth stage - "Development".

In this case, when a person loses, he goes through certain stages, as a result of which his personality receives the potential for development, becomes more mature. Or these stages may not be passed (there was a hang at a certain stage), and the development of the personality, on the contrary, slowed down. Therefore, with such an addition, any loss can be viewed from the positive side - it is the potential for development. Without losing anything, a person cannot develop (similar to the thesis of Soviet psychology “personality develops in conflict”). In the direction of Transactional Analysis psychotherapy, it is customary to depict this model through the "loop of loss", which clearly shows the movement of a person through the passage of the "loop of loss" upwards. Then, a person who has a broken cycle of experiencing loss, in this case, is not only unable to experience them and suffers because of this, but his personality development is blocked as such. Then, the particular task of the psychologist will be to help in experiencing the loss, and the general task will be to restore the cycle of passing losses as such (therefore, with a focal consultative request for help, grief experiences go to the psychotherapeutic request to remove blocks and prohibitions in the emotional sphere).

The same model can be represented as a sequence of emotions that are experienced at each stage:

1. fear;

2. anger;

3. wine;

4. sadness;

5. acceptance;

6. hope.

This makes it easier to explain the psychological function of each stage. Normally, a person experiences a sequence of these emotions with any loss.

1. Stage of Fear.

Fear is a protective emotion. It helps to anticipate and assess threats, to prepare for meeting with them (or fleeing from them). People in whom the experience of fear is underdeveloped or even blocked are unable to adequately assess threats and prepare for them. It is quite logical that nature put the stage of fear first in the cycle of experiencing the loss - after all, it is here that the assessment of the threat to further life from this loss and the search for resources to survive it takes place. Respectively, the greatest difficulties with the experience of this stage occur in people with impaired ability to experience fear. In this case, a person reacts to the loss with one level or another of its denial (from a neurotic feeling that nothing really happened, to a psychotic complete non-recognition of the loss that has occurred). Also, instead of the forbidden true emotion of fear, scenario (racket, blackmail - the terminology of transactional analysis) emotions can arise at this stage. The task of the psychologist, when "stuck" at this stage, is to help in experiencing the fear of loss. In a consultative vein, this is a search and filling with resources that will help to live without the object of loss (it is highly not recommended to “break the denial”, as, for example, inexperienced specialists “like” to do in the case of addictions - the addict therefore denies his addiction problem, because that he has no resources to live without her). In a psychotherapeutic vein (it is similar at all other stages, so I will skip its description for other stages) - work with blackmailing emotions, access to children's prohibitions of fear and insufficiently resourceful parental figures (the child did not receive empathy and protection in response to his emotions of fear). As a self-help, you can write an essay “How can I live without ... (an object of loss)!”, make a pact with yourself to take care of yourself, plan to search for supportive and “protective” resources.

2. Stage of Anger.

Anger is an emotion aimed at changing the world (situation). From this point of view, following the stage of anger after the stage of fear, again, is completely logical. At the previous stage, there was a threat assessment and a search for resources. At this stage, there is an attempt to change the situation in their favor. Indeed, in many situations, before it is too late, the loss can be prevented by active actions (for example, catching up with a pickpocket when stealing a wallet), and it is anger that helps to take them. In addition, if fear helped to assess the level of threat to oneself, then anger helps to assess what is unacceptable in the very situation that causes the loss. Problems with the passage of this stage may be in people with the forbidden emotion of anger. Instead of experiencing natural anger, such people can "hang" in aggression, claims and accusations, as well as in a sense of powerlessness and injustice. In addition, instead of experiencing true anger, blackmailing emotions may appear. As in the stage of fear, the task of the psychologist in this case is to help in experiencing anger and moving to the next stage of experiencing loss. In a consultative vein, this is the removal of cultural prohibitions on anger (for example, one cannot be angry that a person has died), the search for moments that are unacceptable in a situation and the search for resources for experiencing anger towards them. Self-help: “Letter of anger” (what I did not like in the situation, what makes me angry, what is unacceptable for me, etc. - it is important not to turn into accusations and aggression), “Letter of forgiveness”.

3. Stage of Guilt.

Guilt is an emotion that helps you find mistakes in your behavior and correct them. At this stage, guilt helps the person evaluate what could have been done differently and:

1.) either correct their behavior in time;

2.) or draw conclusions for the future for similar situations.

A person with an inability to adequately experience guilt can “hang” at this stage in self-accusations, self-flagellation and other auto-aggressive emotions. The principle of work of a psychologist here is similar to work at other stages. It is also important here to teach a person to distinguish between the position of responsibility (“I am responsible for correcting/accepting my mistakes”) and guilt (“I must be punished for my mistakes”).

Self-help: analysis of my mistakes, “Angry letter to myself” (what I did not like about my behavior, it is important not to turn into auto-aggression), “Forgiveness letter to myself”, a contract for new behavior in similar situations in the future.

4. Stage of Sorrow.

Sadness performs the function of breaking emotional ties with the object of affection. With problems of experiencing sadness, a person is unable to “let go” of the loss and “freezes” in “depressive” emotions. Features of the psychologist's work at this stage: to show the "restoring" function of sad emotions. Self-help: analysis of the “+” of what was lost (how good it was with this / him / her), “Letter of gratitude” (where one remembers and expresses gratitude for all the good things that happened before with the object of loss, and without which now one will have to live) .

5. Stage of Acceptance.

Acceptance performs the function of restoration and search for resources for life without the object of loss. At the end of this stage, an emotional point is put: “Yes, I can live without ...!”. Features of the work of a psychologist: expanding the perspectives of time (transferring from the past and present to the future), searching for resources and replacing the object of loss. Self-help: “Letter of support to myself” (how will I live and support myself without the object of loss).

6. Hope.

Hope is an emotion of development and striving forward. At this stage, the loss situation is transformed into a resource situation. There is an understanding that in this loss there was actually an acquisition that can be used in the future. The task of the psychologist: assistance in finding acquisitions in a situation of loss, how these resources can be used in the future. Self-help: analysis of gains in a situation of loss, "Letter of gratitude to the loss", setting goals for the future.

A few more words about the work of a psychologist with the experience of loss. Although this is a well-known and widespread topic in the work of psychologists, there are points that are rarely mentioned and many psychologists miss these points. In the case of a forbidden true emotion (as mentioned above), a person can experience a blackmail emotion instead. So, for example, if the blackmailing emotion of true anger is guilt (the child was taught to feel guilty for his anger), then in the second stage, instead of anger, guilt will be activated. The psychologist in this case may make the mistake of taking this stage for the third and assisting in the experience of guilt, which, in the end, will be ineffectual. While here work is needed not just to experience guilt, but to remove it, to subsequently unblock anger and help in experiencing exactly it (anger). The same principle applies to other stages: understanding is important, a person does not have enough resources to experience true emotion at this stage, or we are dealing with blackmail emotions. True emotions need to be helped to experience (in the best traditions of therapy), scenario ones should be “removed” and the true ones lying behind them should be revealed.

I would also like to remind you once again that losses are not only large, but also small daily. And a person may be unable to experience them as well. As a result, a negative emotional life background and blocked emotional development. In this case, the work of a psychologist will consist in increasing the emotional literacy and culture of a person (or, as it is fashionable to say today, emotional intelligence): explaining the functions of emotions, working out cultural prohibitions, working with the system of emotional racket and child prohibitions, etc.

And finally, the slogan: appreciate the losses, only in them we gain!

To comprehend, work through and let go of the psychological trauma of childhood.

master effective methods forgiveness and acceptance of oneself, getting rid of the emotional burden of the past.

By improving your well-being, you will become much happier and more successful.

Improve (or restore) relationships with loved ones.

Get a huge boost of energy to solve other personal problems.