How to choose your path in life. Personal life path

Chantal Martin for a very long time could not decide what she wanted to do in life. She was helped by several simple steps which she told the magazine aboutShe Owns It ... Her advice is addressed to everyone who finds themselves in a similar situation.

How to find your way in life when there are “too many options”

The post-college years in search of work were tough for me. I tried to find myself in a self-employed job, but in the first month I was fired. Started a business but lost thousands of dollars. I tried to cling to everything, but then I quit my job.

I didn’t know where to go, as there were many opportunities. This, by the way, is the problem of most of us: when the number of options is unlimited, they do not allow you to get off the ground, because you are at a loss as to which choice to make.

To finally figure out how to find my way in life, I performed several simple actions... I advise you to repeat them for those who are now at a crossroads.

1. Learn a little bit of everything on the Internet

There are many educational platforms on the Internet with lectures and practice. You can learn anything from them. Try everything in order to understand which area you are interested in. It is likely that you do not even realize that there is a work of your whole life simply because you have never done it.

2. Go to events

Attend events that bring people together by interests - professions or hobbies. Through acquaintance with representatives of a certain sphere, you will learn what it is, learn something new for yourself.

3. Meet

Just meet more often, everywhere. It's a great way to get to know new people and make friends. Over time, you will understand in which society you feel comfortable and where communication with people is going like clockwork. Still, learning new things in a friendly environment is much more effective than studying a subject alone.

4. Find a mentor

Try to find a mentor. This should be a person with life or business experience, with certain knowledge in some area. A mentor will be able to guide you in the right direction and give you an external assessment. Although, of course, it may take years to find him. Or maybe he is somewhere nearby - you just need to take a closer look.

5. Ask for help

Although family and friends are always close by, for some reason the idea that they can and should be asked for support does not always come to mind. Sometimes it is very embarrassing to admit to loved ones that you feel bad, or to ask them about something. In fact, loved ones want only the best for you, they know you inside out and will certainly willingly provide any help. Including your strengths and weaknesses.

6. Learn to listen

No matter how many events you attend, no matter how many mentors you find, you cannot build quality relationships without listening skills. While this seems obvious, many people forget about it.

Listen when a friend or friend talks about how they have been able to move up the career ladder. Listen to a speaker whose success story is heard from the stage. Useful things can be found everywhere.

7. Learn to observe

It is possible and necessary to learn from the mistakes of others. Sometimes it is enough to observe the actions of other people, notice their mistakes and findings and try to apply in your life the models of behavior that led them to success.

8. Ask more questions

You can learn a lot just by asking questions. Absorb information as greedily as a sponge, and the baggage of your knowledge will be significantly replenished. And this may play key role when choosing your case.

"Any path is only one of a million possible paths"
Carlos Castaneda

There are a great many ways ... which one to choose? Speaking about the destination and its search, one cannot ignore the entire life path of a person... This is a more capacious and long-term concept extending throughout the entire human life. Someone lives by inertia "let everything go the way it goes", rejoices in success and gets upset when they bypass him, saying that this is such a fate ... And someone is looking for the right path for themselves - their own path. So which one to prefer? Choosing a life path or let your life take its course?

Faced with another setback in his life, probably every person wondered, is it possible to change something at all? As a rule, we attribute all problems and consequences of mistakes to fate. And we write down every luck to our account. But maybe, worth analyzing and failures? See your mistakes, wrong actions in them? Observe the children: one, having tripped over a stone, will look at it, draw conclusions and will be in next time bypass, and the other will constantly fall in the same place. Such an artless example can be stencilled on any human action. And this is not the ability to think logically - it is, first of all, a desire to understand "why did I fall." It is unlikely that an adult would seriously think that fate put this stone under his feet. And, perhaps, choice of life path and consists in first learning to analyze what consequences are coming for what actions.

After all, few people think that life path of a person the way he walks is not only the presence or absence of work, income, success. This is both a worldview and the ability to build harmonious relationships both in the family and with business partners, the ability to rejoice and to be constructively sad, the ability to LIVE. Agree, our perception of everything that happens depends on our attitude to the world around us. You can create, but you can destroy everything ... Obviously, these are two opposite poles, but the road between them is very short, since it depends only on our thoughts and feelings. And we know how to manage these matters, well, or at least we can learn.

Do choice of life path yourself, compare:

Destruction - This is irritation, fear, melancholy, dissatisfaction with oneself, disappointment, jealousy and even a feeling of guilt, which entails punishment (of oneself). All this not only makes a person destroy relationships, his life, but also himself, since thoughts and feelings tend to materialize.
Creation - it is responsibility for their actions, feelings and thoughts. This is the understanding that our own subconscious mind is in control life path of a person... This is the road of development.

Someone might say that the answer is obvious, but how to find yourself his way, and not the principles of life, even after making the right choice of life path? After all, the feeling of unfulfillment is also a destructive force.

“Each of us has only one true calling -
find a way to yourself "
Hermann Hesse

Find yourself like no matter how it sounds to skeptics, people have been striving at all times. But in the entire history of mankind, no one has found an answer to the question, how to find yourself, your own life path. A person thinks about this all the time, although it is difficult to solve the issue by mere reflections.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step."
Lao Tzu

As with achieving a goal, you need to be able not only to think / analyze / draw conclusions, but also to act. You have already taken the first step - you have decided what you need find yourself. How you will do it - that is another question.

"Either I will find my way, or I will make it myself"
F. Sydney

Finding yourself means feeling fulfilled, in demand and, as a result, happy. The components of happiness for many are health, family and, of course, success in work - in a business that gives pleasure. It is precisely the last component that is the most difficult for most: how to find yourself- your place in life, your vocation, your business. Returning to the question of how to find your vocation, it should be understood that no one can answer it unequivocally, but a number of specialists offer trainings and a variety of exercises that help to find clues, responses in yourself to what really, maybe, will become your business. life.

How to take the next step in finding your vocation, your life path, you will find in the next article, in which we will talk about.

Human life is not just a biological phenomenon. This is an individual socio-historical fact. Because every living being grows and develops, but only a person is formed as a person with his own worldview, values, aspirations and achievements, as well as direction. And also, most importantly, with individual goals, plans, dreams and aspirations. Achieving and living by them, a person goes his own way in this world. But not everyone has it that way. Some don't even know how to find their way in life. And they exist aimlessly. This topic is often considered by psychologists, who are able to help people come to the purpose of existence and find their way in life with their advice and recommendations. This is what I would like to talk about.

Out of the way

First, I would like to note that a person's life is usually divided into five phases. I paid particular attention to this german psychologist Karl Buhler. And the first phase, which lasts up to 16-20 years, is outside the life path. Because this period precedes self-determination. So young man there is still no completeness of opportunities, profession and access to all chances to prove oneself.

Second phase

It usually starts at the age of 16-20 and lasts up to 25-30. In this rather long period of youth, a person begins to try himself in different areas activities, form connections with other people, even look for a mate. At this stage, self-determination begins.

This is the affirmation of individual positions by a person in various situations, the formation of a worldview and values, as well as the setting of a guideline for self-organization. Behind him, more often than not, there are hopes. Which in this case are associated with sketches of possible ways of life.

Obstacles

In the second stage, many are confronted with confusion, uncertainty, fear and uncertainty. Often, fears are associated with the fact that a person is aware of the responsibility that falls on his shoulders in connection with his life choices. After all, he himself determines the social norms acceptable for himself, the dominant guidelines, the most important values and much more. For many people, this period is so prolonged that they completely lose the idea of how to find their way in life, and they exist aimlessly from day to day.

Problem of choice

If a person long time is in a lost state and does not know why he wakes up every day, then you need to act. Better to start by defining your path model.

"Life as creativity" - this option is suitable for people with a penchant for experimentation. Those individuals who like to experiment with their own destiny. Their life paths seem to be non-standard people, accustomed to the "normal" model. Which is called "living by the rules." This is the least successful model. Because a person who is guided by it follows the rules that are established by society, the authorities, and conventional norms. He lives according to the principle "as is customary", and not as he wants. And when the feeling comes to him that he wasted his years, it becomes too late. And the bitterness of regret at such moments is incredible.

For some, life is an achievement. Everyone who chooses him acts as a person who "made himself". These are workaholics, pragmatists, careerists - all people who consider the time given to them as a valuable resource for implementation as possible. more goals that can provide a better life.

I would also like to draw attention to the model called “life versus life”. People who follow it are in a constant process of struggle. In a figurative sense of the word, of course. And more often than not, the struggle is for social goods.

Listen to desires

This is what a person needs to do first of all if he thinks about how to find a way to a new life. Desires are part of our being. They are individual and changeable, everyone has their own. But they are all social in nature. And desires, thanks to the conscious activity of a person and his thinking, sooner or later are reborn into some life goals. Which determine the meaning of existence.

A person will be able to determine the right path in life if he listens to himself. To what he wants. Strong desires always become goals, as they are powerful stimulating energy for any human activity - be it creativity, business, or interpersonal relationships.

Absolutely every psychologist will tell his patient: "The path of your life is only your decision." And he will be right. Only a person has the right to dispose of it. But still there are many practical recommendations who are able to help deal with their aspirations and desires.

If a person really does not know what he wants, then he needs to expand the scope of knowledge and range of interests. How? We must start trying something new, previously unknown. Often, the path of a person's life lies beyond his perception. And when he covers with his attention those areas that were previously closed from him, he seems to begin to see his existence from a different angle. An invaluable feeling of long-awaited certainty arises - a person finally finds what he has been looking for for a long time.

Psychologists also recommend not to limit yourself. Some may think that effective work is only possible in one direction. Of course, there are goals that require full immersion. But you do not need to spend all of yourself on its implementation. It is recommended to combine such a goal with others that take less effort and time. As a rule, they perfectly combine and harmonize.

A guide to knowledge and opportunities

It will be easier for a person to find the beginning of the path in life if he analyzes himself as a source useful resources to pass it. What can he do? What actions are you capable of performing? How far can one go in pursuit of the meaning of life? Abilities play an important role in the process of passing the path of life. After all, they are the properties of individuals that determine the successful implementation of this or that kind of activity.

Abilities are our internal mental regulators that determine the possibility of acquiring skills, abilities and knowledge. Some of them determine the success of education and training, as well as the formation personal qualities... Others are responsible for generating new ideas, discoveries. Abilities are a person's resources that he must use in order to achieve goals. Knowledge of their presence often helps to find the path of spiritual life. You just need to ask yourself one question: "What am I capable of?", And give answers to it. Perhaps in one of them the meaning of life will be hidden.

About values

Surely every person, accepting congratulations in honor of this or that event, heard in his address and the following: "I wish you to find your way in life." Indeed, many are able to say this, but not everyone is given to support a person's choice. Because a conflict of values has always existed and will continue to exist.

And the path of life is determined by them. Because a person can find happiness only if there is something significant in his existence that can satisfy his diverse needs. And nothing else. A person for whom independence, absolute freedom and entertainment are of paramount importance will not be completely happy if he burdens himself with family, children and responsibility to them. And vice versa. The one who most of all dreams of a big friendly family will not find happiness if he disappears for days at work.

So what are we talking about? That, when defining his life path, a person should be guided not only by desires and opportunities, but also by values. They are part of his soul.

Forecasting

If a person does not know what he wants and believes that he is in a desperate situation, then this is not so. It is just that questions need to be approached from the other side. And answer yourself the next question: "What do I not want?" As a rule, people find answers to it faster.

Only they must be specified. It is clear that the majority will answer: "I do not want to live my years aimlessly." But what exactly is invested in this statement? Everyone has something different. Some do not want to be alone in their old age. Others do not want to live their whole lives in the same city. For some, the worst fear is poverty and misery. Someone else is afraid to leave this light, leaving nothing behind.

There are thousands of options. But the bottom line is this: if there is not the slightest idea about your desires, then you need to build on the opposite.

Testing

It can really help some people who are confused about how to find their way in life. A test of this kind can be found in the public domain. It aims to research a person's needs and motivations. All he needs is to give answers to already ready questions... Options are usually available. So it remains only to note the most suitable and close to a person.

Several questions from different blocks can be cited as an example. The first is formulated as follows: “Time is money. We must strive to earn as much as possible. " The question from the second block reads as follows: "Work is a forced vital necessity." Further, as a rule, there are questions aimed at identifying the factors that take the most time from a person, as well as determining the predisposition to certain areas of activity. By the way, the following answer options are offered to all questions: “I agree with this”, “50 x 50” and “I don’t think so”.

Of course, after this, the truth will not open to a person about how to find his own path in life. The test, however, can be thought-provoking. And the results will tell you the direction in which it would be worth taking action.

Self-realization

How to find your way in life? You have to do what you do best. Or something in which I always wanted to try myself. In this case, all doubts must be thrown aside. Many people bury their dreams and desires precisely because of them. But in vain. What's to lose? It is not for nothing that they say - it is better to do and regret than to regret that you did not. Even if it does not work out, the person will know that he has tried.

After all, it is very important to realize your potential. This is a basic necessity for every person. Even Abraham Harold Maslow included self-realization in his famous pyramid of needs. And Aristotle said that happiness can be achieved only by embodying your potentialities in reality.

But for this a person needs to get rid of the word "must". Almost every second person will say: “Yes, I would like to do music / choreography / sports / art / tourism, but all my time is occupied by work. I have to earn money to live. " Yes, that is the reality. Need money. But life changes are also necessary! You can find other work that takes less time. Or even organize your own business. A job that does not bring joy and satisfaction is an excellent reason for dismissal and subsequent business formation. And this, in turn, is not only a useful business and a personal source of income, but also a way of self-realization.

Awareness of freedom

This is what really matters. A person who thinks about how to find the right path in life must first of all understand that he is absolutely free. And he is free to do whatever he wants.

But many people in life follow anything, but not their desires. They listen to their parents, the media, are guided by conventional conventional norms and laws, and exist in accordance with a banal model of life. As if they forget that only they and no one else are the masters of their lives.

But freedom is available to everyone. The right to it is enshrined even in the Constitution. Freedom is the ability of a person to live and act in accordance with personal goals and interests, guided by the knowledge of objective necessity. And in no case should we forget about it.

Rules to remember

How to find the right path in life? You need to follow simple guidelines:

Remember that it is never too late to change your life for the better.
Do not forget that everyone has problems.
Perceiving setbacks and adversities as opportunities to gain experience.
Regularly experience (provoke) new sensations.
Do what you love.
Forget yourself in the past and love your “I” in the present.
Pay attention to your skills, self-development and hobbies.
Set a goal, and never back down from it.

And the most important thing is to remember that life is a series of efforts. Having found the goal, you will be able to see the road. And this will put an end to wanderings, give strength for a confident move towards her.

It happens that a person at the end of his life regrets that he wasted his best years, buried his talent in the ground, missed the opportunity to fulfill his dream. It seems that he did not live his life at all, but someone else's. To prevent this from happening, here are some tips on how to find your way in life.

Listen to yourself

Many of us make irreparable mistakes by blindly following the opinions of others. We study where our parents want; choose a job that your spouse approves; we do the hobby that friends recommend. We are subconsciously afraid of making a mistake, we place responsibility for our actions on other people. As if those who advise do not know how to make mistakes. You need to finally become bolder and listen to your own opinion.

Only knowing your true needs can you understand how to find a way in life. To do this, try to question every advice of others. Not to ignore, namely to question, in order to then personally think it over, weigh, understand for yourself that the advice is really useful. Even if the advice is given by a loving and a wise man, you must still approach it constructively, and not follow blindly. This will teach you to make your own decisions.

Start small. Realize exactly what you want out of life. If you have anxious thoughts that life is passing by, try to reflect on the moment when it began. Perhaps you are not satisfied with your job, lifestyle, environment.

Remember your old dreams, youthful hobbies. If you understand that this life does not at all coincide with past aspirations, then immediately it is time to change something. It is important to understand in which direction you want to develop, what to achieve, how to live.

Don't hold on to what makes you unhappy. For example, it is very difficult to give up a hated job if you have spent many years on it. However, being honest with yourself can make a firm decision to change jobs.

Rely on your own abilities

Many people raise the bar for their goals in life, and then fail and disappointment all their lives instead of successfully doing what they love. This is due to the fact that a person is guided in the choice of activity not by his own abilities and desires, but by someone else's experience, fashion and stereotypes.

Do not forget that it is better to be a good potter than a bad lawyer. Especially when you consider that a good potter, improving his craft, can receive much more profit and social recognition than a lawyer with a bad reputation. Remember that success can only be achieved in what you love. Do not pursue prestige, but improve in activities that suit you.

Don't be afraid to start life anew

At a certain moment it may seem that it is too late to change anything in your life. After all, the education has already been received, the job has been found, the circle of friends is stable. And even if all this does not suit, contradicts human nature, nothing can be changed.

This opinion is wrong. It's never too late to start life anew, make new acquaintances, get a second education, and do what you love. The main thing is desire and determination.

Be responsible

Do not forget that freedom is, first of all, responsibility. Choosing the path you want to follow on your own, you will no longer be able to blame someone else for your failures. It is important to understand that your life is in your hands. Realizing this is one of important milestones transformation of a person into a blacksmith of his own happiness.

Believe in yourself

In order to find a path in life and successfully follow your intended goal, it is very important to believe in yourself. This is more difficult than it seems, since many of us since childhood have been accustomed to taking a passive position, expecting changes and pleasant accidents from life, without daring to take active actions.

In order to get rid of the oppression of your own complexes and insecurity, you need to learn to think positively.

Trust yourself. Accept the fact that, deciding on a new life path, you inevitably lose the old one. Avoid feeling guilty about it. Understand that this is not a loss, but getting rid of the unnecessary.
Respect yourself. Try to get rid of the inner prohibitions that stand in your way. Remember that you are worthy of happiness, and do not let others impose their opinion on you.
Formulate your objectives positively. To achieve the best results, you need to, outlining a plan of action, instead of the burdensome "I have to" say to yourself: "I want." Such psychological reception gives a lot of enthusiasm and pushes to action.

Having found your way, do not be afraid of new difficulties and get ready to overcome new obstacles. The main thing is to clearly outline your goal and truly want to change.

Instructions

List all possible ways that are offered to you. Do this exercise in writing. The longer the list is, the more options you have. Some ways are imposed on you by the people around you. Some options appear due to sudden circumstances. There are also alternatives inspired by your own principles, dreams, goals. Work on the list as carefully as possible. Don't even miss out on options that you don't quite like. In the process of analysis, they can lead you to the unexpected. Therefore, write down absolutely everything. Remember those that were previously in yours. Which paths did they follow?

Analyze each way for distance from your target. You must now evaluate all the alternatives. Write down all your options on separate sheets of paper. Then cut these sheets into strips so that only one variant is written on each strip. Divide all strips into 3 groups. In the 1st group, there should be options that directly lead to your goal, even if they are to your liking. In the 2nd group, place those paths that you like the most, but can lead somewhere to the side. These are the paths you prefer based on. For example, a friend or girlfriend approves of this choice. In Group 3, identify those options that go too far from your goal. There may be paths that someone imposes on you from the outside. You don't need to neglect them, just put them aside in a separate group.

Please select way that is in harmony with your goal. In each group, select only one such way... You must evaluate all alternatives, considering that you will not be torn in all directions. Look at this process as if from the outside, as if making a choice for an outsider. Even in the 3rd group there may be way, which is traced to your main goal.

Get away from everyone for the ultimate. Now you have 3 ways in front of you, the best ones, taking into account the interests of all parties. Justify for yourself which way closer to you. Don't worry about what other people think now. Imagine that you are the last on earth and there is no one else, everyone temporarily left for Mars. It depends on your choice further destiny of all mankind.