Today I was asked a very interesting question - how to learn to communicate with people? Of course, someone is surprised that a person does not know how to communicate, but if you think about it, then not every conversation goes as it should. I will talk about how to communicate with people correctly, what you should pay attention to and share my own secrets in this matter.
In recent years, especially after the release of the series about one extremely intelligent detective, it is fashionable to be a sociopath. However, she will not forget that even that notorious detective knew how to maintain a conversation - it is another matter that the topic for a dialogue with him had to be chosen in a special way.
Each person, if he lives in society, should be able to communicate. Even if he thinks he could do just fine without this skill. However, over time, it becomes clear that communication is not just friendly chatting over tea on any interesting topic. In the framework of communication, you can enter such actions as:
- employment;
- communication with the work team;
- family relationships;
- contacts with service personnel;
- contacts with superiors;
- parenting.
Even if it seems to you that you are not at all talkative, and you do not need to learn to talk beautifully, you are mistaken. Any collision with other people implies communication. And the best thing is to know how to communicate properly.
There is another side of the issue - the need for communication. Psychology considers the need for communication as one of the most important and basic. Knowing how to keep the conversation going, sooner or later, you will want to implement this skill in your own life.
Basic rules for pleasant communication
The art of dialogue implies certain rules, if you follow them, then any dialogue will be easier and more free. Read them and you will understand how to talk.
- To understand how to talk to other people, you need to listen to their speech. The best way is to speak at the same pace, and with similar intonations, then the interlocutor will be more sympathetic.
- There is no secret in how to talk about what you understand - speak firmly, clearly and competently.
- To understand how to speak, try polish written speech to begin with... Psychology connects the ability to write beautifully and the ability to express one's thoughts orally.
- Take the time to figure out how to learn to speak competently. Read Russian language textbooks, re-read fiction, find the style you are accustomed to.
- Develop your vocabulary. Otherwise, you may be interested in how to talk for a long time, but still not be able to - it is very difficult to talk about serious topics using vocabulary, like Ellochka the ogre.
- Gesture and mimic when you learn how to communicate properly.
Psychology links several information channels together. Thus, a person better understands and remembers what was said if it caused an emotional response in him.
Chatting with strangers
Let's try to figure out how to learn to communicate if you are not sure that you are an expert in this area.
Let's take a look at the points.
How to start a conversation if you are shy? The main thing to do in this situation is to get out of the stupor. Psychology also advises to shift the focus of sight to something understandable or pleasant. The easiest way is to approach the person starting to say something in a few steps.
Psychology calls this a deceptive maneuver, and most often it is used by older people who are ashamed to admit that they do not know how to start a conversation with a stranger. Remember - many people come up to a person, muttering something under their breath, and then turn to him, as if by chance.
Okay, let's say you approached a stranger and managed to start a dialogue with him, what's next? And then there are several ways - you can try to ask the person about what interests you, or try to tell something about yourself.
There is also a win-win option, most often people of craft professions use it while working. This method implies the beginning of a dialogue on one of the burning topics... Politics, psychology, social pedagogy. At the worst, the dollar rate and the road will come down.
By the way, there is another way to strike up a conversation with strangers, it is often used by hitchhikers. The point is that ask one question, and then ask the interlocutor three times his last phrase.
For example, talk about bad road surface, and when the other person comes up with any few words, repeat aloud the last 2-3 words with interrogative intonation. The interlocutor will begin to delve into the topic he understands, and both of you will not notice how easily and naturally you will talk.
Worry about how to learn competently talk? This question is more complicated. First you need to determine if you have speech problems. Record a few monotonous pieces of text on the recorder, and then listen carefully to this audio recording several times.
Conclusion
I talked about how to learn to communicate, but perhaps I will make a small conclusion. Before worrying about learning how to communicate, practice in front of your webcam or smartphone at home and take a detached view. When we think about how to learn to communicate, we too often feel deprived of interesting events.
This is completely normal - first, our life is filled with close people, then events, and only then - the hidden meanings and motives of both people and events.
Read more, listen to your speech on the tape more often and of course do not forget that the best skill can only be obtained through live training - get to know people and learn to maintain a dialogue.
Secrets of communication - what affects the ability to communicate, how to overcome the fear of communication and become an interesting interlocutor?
Many people indicate such qualities as communication skills or the ability to communicate with other people as their merits. However, in reality, it often turns out that their opportunities are limited to communication only in a certain company of people close to them (relatives or friends), in front of whom some rules of correctness may not be observed. For example, you can often see young people who, standing in a circle, express their thoughts and attitudes exclusively with the help of obscene language. At the same time, they can slap each other on the backs, wage a comic fight, laugh loudly and comment on the words of the interlocutors only with the help of short "obscene" words. When such people find themselves in the company of people unfamiliar to them, their more than liberated behavior changes dramatically: they become squeezed, cannot say practically anything intelligible. When communicating with persons of the opposite sex, the same situation may arise, especially if the person who attracts them does not speak in their usual manner, but has the ability to clearly and clearly express their thoughts without resorting to "strong" expressions.
What factors affect the ability to communicate with other people
Often there are situations when a person whom we know as positive in all respects, an excellent interlocutor, suddenly begins to behave a little differently. He can be absent-minded, at times react aggressively to even the most trifling remarks and remarks, generally abandon the intention to even maintain the appearance of a conversation and completely withdraw into himself. Insecure people usually take it completely at their own expense and begin to respond with the same aggression or leave the interlocutor.
The question arises, what is the matter? Before you start communicating with others, you need to get distracted from any negative thoughts and conditions. If you yourself or your interlocutor got up on the wrong foot, all his charm can evaporate somewhere. There will be only an irritated grump, which no longer inspires any warm feelings and with whom you simply do not want to be in the same room.
It so happens that the interlocutors do not trust each other and the conversation in the company does not stick well. Just sitting and looking at each other is not interesting, so someone takes the liberty of starting a conversation first. What is he doing? The first step is to get to know the other people sitting around, say your name. A feeling of mistrust arises if the person who started this process recognizes the names of others present, but does not name his own name.
Often the initiative in communication comes from one person
Another nuance is to start or intervene in a conversation without relying on topics that are interesting and familiar to other people. Without knowing what others are talking about, you can get screwed up and then spend the rest of the evening angry with yourself and others for what happened.
The complete absence of any manifestations of emotions or, on the contrary, excessive emotionality, especially exaltation, also does not cause a desire to communicate with the person who demonstrates all this. One gets the impression that he is either too "frozen" in terms of expressing his feelings, or simply does not know when to stop if he shows his feelings. Both sharply reduce the level of trust and the desire to communicate. Feigned emotions, smiles and laughter are out of place - these are clearly not the means that allow you to win other people to yourself and create a favorable atmosphere for communication.
Have you ever seen how people who do not even know each other very well sometimes create interesting situations when they want to communicate? They sit closer, but not so much that from the outside their communication looks too intimate. It is also difficult to imagine how you can interest another person in yourself, being at a distance of about 3-5 meters from him, and conduct a conversation on personal topics. On the other hand, if a complete stranger sits down close to you, starts grabbing your hands, patting on the shoulder or annoyingly whispering in your ear ... This behavior usually makes you want to stop communication as soon as possible and run away from your counterpart as quickly and further as possible.
Or such a case when someone excitedly talks about something, not even paying attention to the reaction of others. At the same time, he accompanies each of his words with immoderate gestures, annoying gazes, or does not look at anyone at all. One can only guess what desires are ripening in the souls of those who are not lucky enough to be around ...
Failed social experiences can make you withdrawn.
Summing up the above, we note that the ability of a person to communicate with others is influenced by such factors as:
- the emotional state of the interlocutors;
- community of interests of those present;
- visual contact and distance between interlocutors;
- a sense of self-confidence;
- emotional involvement in the communication process;
- the ability to listen to others.
How to learn to communicate with other people
Some people sometimes cause a slight envy that they can easily communicate with those around them. It seems that the very possibility of approaching someone and starting a conversation with him does not present anything difficult for them. And for others, the very thought of it seems simply frightening: what if this person says something that after his words he just wants to sink into the ground? Or die on the spot?
It is often difficult to start a conversation.
Discard prejudice... Starting communication with another person, you need to abandon any ready-made attitudes and thoughts about him. It is the different "cockroaches" like "what if", "what if", "God forbid" and so on can already in the bud suppress your ability to see a person in front of you. The person, and not the label that you managed to put on him because of his appearance or behavior. Remember, no one person is responsible for your load of failures or what you call your failure. You, too, are far from an angel, and other people have to put up with your shortcomings. It is better to pay your attention to the positive qualities of the person with whom you are communicating. As psychotherapists say, there are no shortcomings in a person, but there are peculiar advantages that you need to look at and learn to accept.
Be confident in yourself... An important key to developing the ability to communicate with others is to be a confident person. Moreover, we calculate a person with such qualities intuitively. Such a person behaves without unnecessary fuss, chooses words, is not afraid to look the interlocutor in the eyes and express his emotions. At the same time, he does not emphasize his knowledge and competence, expresses himself in the correct language, does not try to crush him with his status and authority. Before giving an answer, he makes a short pause, speaks measuredly and quietly, but not in a whisper.
Maintain eye contact and use feedback... Usually people who are reputed to be good conversationalists know how to listen to others. This is expressed in the fact that they not only listen, but also ask various clarifying questions and encourage the interlocutor. At the same time, they occasionally look into the eyes of the interlocutor, but do not use X-ray gazing. Usually, a police gaze usually evokes a desire to escape from such a deep immersion in someone's inner world.
Know how to listen to your interlocutor
Don't decide for your interlocutor how to behave... Often in films on the topic of relations between men and women, such a moment is played up when the cause of conflicts is shown - the inability to listen to another person. He talks about his, you about yours. Then each begins to accuse the other of inattention, but for some reason, no one even thinks that everything may be to blame for his own selfishness and wrong expectations in relation to other people. In the sense that a person is more interested in their thoughts, feelings and relationships than other people from the immediate environment. It's like in a joke that a man, having gone into the bathroom to wash and shave, left there as a divorced person in just five minutes. And all because the wife asked a question, answered herself, got angry, offended and ... finita la comedy.
Express your thoughts clearly and clearly... Learn to express your thoughts in an accessible and clear manner. Some believe that omission and the ability to read between the lines give a special zest to the conversation. Usually, everything happens exactly the opposite: if someone does not fully understand what it is about, he begins to experience a feeling of irritation, boredom appears and a desire to simply retire somewhere else. Where everyone talks about things that are clear and understandable.
Avoid value judgments and ask questions... It is also important to be able to avoid evaluative reactions like "Nonsense", "Nonsense" or "You can think of it too!" When an interlocutor receives such an assessment from a communication partner, he has the impression that the questions that concern him are not interesting to anyone. A sense of his own insignificance and inferiority awakens in him. Whatever he says, you need to listen to him to the end. But do not bomb a person with an endless stream of questions, otherwise he will decide that he is being interrogated with partiality, and will try to interrupt the communication that is difficult for him.
Know how to manage the attention of the interlocutor... An important point that allows you to win over other people is the ability to manage space and your body. This means that you need to be able to reduce or increase the distance between yourself and the interlocutor. For example, if you think that the atmosphere is too high, it makes sense, using an excuse, to leave the person alone with his thoughts for a while. You can disappear from his field of vision, but not interrupt communication. You can ask questions or tell something, better with humorous overtones. It is better to switch the interlocutor's attention to something else, to distract him in this way. For example, offer a cup of tea or coffee, offer sweets or fruit. The psychological meaning of this lies in the fact that from a verbal, mental or emotional channel, a person switches to the level of sensations and the tension decreases.
Expand your horizons and vocabulary... A person who knows how to express even the simplest things in a beautiful literary language immediately attracts attention. People begin to reach for him simply out of a desire to communicate and listen. Remember how Dumas described the oldest of the Musketeers - Athos? Despite his modest clothes, he immediately became the center of attention of any company. He was distinguished not only by excellent manners, but also by the ability to maintain a conversation on any topic. He even surprised the king, who considered himself an expert in falconry.
The most important thing - don't be afraid to communicate! Even if you are not answered the way you wanted, personally, nothing terrible will happen to you. A negative result is also a result that life experience gives. But next time you will know that there are some nuances with which you need to be very careful. Without practice, any skill will atrophy by itself. Including the ability to say something ...
The life of a modern person is closely related to interpersonal communication. Men and women meet every day at work, in a store or at a sports club. But what to do when you are closed and do not know which side to approach, wanting to start a conversation? Only outcasts can live in an empty apartment without maintaining contact with anyone, so it is important to be able to find a common language with other people.
Ways to achieve effective communication
Eye contact
Gaining the trust of the other person is easy if you look them in the eyes during the conversation. Do not look away to the left and up, this sign speaks of disinterest. If you look down and look to the right, your friend may think of a possible catch.
Ideally, look at the eyebrow area of the person you are in contact with. This technique is used by sales managers, wanting to "sniff" the product. If at the same time the interlocutor looks at you, it will seem to him that you are looking into the eyes. It turns out a kind of optical illusion, take advantage of this.
Confidence is an undeniable trump card
Confident people can be seen from afar, they are characterized by a proud posture, a direct gaze and a head held high. You want to communicate with such a person, he does not use a long prelude before starting a conversation, but immediately goes to the point. Be a confident interlocutor, so you will have an undeniable trump card up your sleeve!
Show your reliability and decisiveness, attract others with these qualities. Such personalities leave an indelible impression in the soul of newly-made friends and do not suffer from a lack of attention.
"What's in a name…"
When you first meet a person, ask what their name is. It is important to remember that there is no sweeter song for the ears than the sound of your own name. This is the only way to address the listener. If third parties are involved in the conversation, and you decide to tell a story that includes the name of a friend, do not use the pronouns "he" or "she."
Try to associate your companion's name with positive emotions. Share funny stories from your life, smile sincerely, tell jokes. Solar personalities illuminate all who are in contact with them. Radiate positivity and energy!
Genuine interest
Agree, it is not interesting to listen for hours on end as a guy or a girl talk about their life, without showing interest in your direction. Such individuals are rightfully considered selfish, do not consider yourself one of them. Show interest, take an interest in life and do not burden others with your own troubles. Lead a dialogue, not a monologue.
Allow the person to join the conversation, after which the conversation will go on as usual. Eastern wisdom says: "Say one time, the other two - listen!" Stick to the great gurus of philosophy so as not to "get stuck in a traffic jam" of protracted silence, which is formed when two selfish persons meet.
He who does not take risks is ...
… Loses positive emotions. Advice is inextricably linked to confidence. People are afraid, wanting to ask again or ask a question of interest. They mistakenly think they will be rejected or humiliated, but this is far from the case. A situation of this kind occurs due to the alleged inconsistency of the listener, who considers himself unworthy of the interlocutor.
Do not be afraid of rejection, analyze what was said, ask pertinent questions, express your opinion and give advice! Don't let your emotions get the better of your self-esteem, maintain your dignity in any circle of people, regardless of the situation.
Mirror effect
Gestures emphasize the spoken words, facial expressions characterize them. The two points are inextricably linked. Do not try to remove your hands when you are talking, such a sign will look unnatural. Excessive waving is also undesirable, the interlocutor may mistake the action for nervousness.
Be calm, do not fold your arms over your chest, this technique means being closed. Stand straight, bend your hands in boats and join your arms. Also, you do not need to clench your fists, keep your palms open, only in this way can you arrange others to your own person.
The greatest minds in the United States have proven the effectiveness of communication using the "mirror" method. The method consists in repeating the movements of the interlocutor and copying the intonation of his voice. However, do not do it like a parrot, the movements should be soft, imperceptible and as similar as possible. Psychologists say that the "mirror" brings people closer and helps them to open up.
Knowledge is power
Read books, watch interesting programs and current films. Stay up to date, it's nice to communicate with a well-rounded person who knows how to keep the conversation going. Such personalities gain universal recognition and are elevated to a pedestal of respect.
Try to join the company in the first hour of communication, create topics for discussion, involve others in the conversation. Do not hide your knowledge, but do not be too clever, so as not to alienate others.
Relevance of the questions asked
Avoid pauses in communication that will embarrass both sides of the conversation. When contact is just being established and people are not yet accustomed to each other's company, it is important to create the right atmosphere for further manipulation. The interlocutor said that he was going to the dacha on the weekend? Great, ask him how far away it is and if fishing is welcome there. Do not answer the memorized "I see", this statement will confuse anyone.
Avoid questions that can only be answered in monosyllables. Ask in such a way that the other side is forced to answer in detail. There is no need to throw a number of questions at a person, be interested in measured and "in the subject." If we are talking about construction, the automobile heading will be out of place.
Correct formulation of thoughts
Have an idea? Do not rush to share it, think carefully about what you are going to say. Express yourself in understandable phrases, do not jump from one place to another, adapt people to your thought. The people around are not psychics, they do not always understand what is at stake, although they nod their heads in response. As mentioned above, “assent” comes from a fear of asking or a reluctance to listen.
Lead the story in an interesting way, not monotonously, so that you want to know the continuation. It is important to realize that everyone has their own idea of what is being told. You imagined white sand and blue ocean, and the interlocutor saw only shells and seaweed on the shore. Formulate your own thoughts, engaging and fueling the interest of the public.
Openness is not a vice
Be honest and open, do not create misunderstandings due to inconsistencies. Share your personal life, but within reason. Choose non-proprietary information for your storytelling. When a man or a woman cheats, the truth soon comes out and spoils the friendship.
Now it is important to create that inextricable connection between opponents, because of which you will meet again over a cup of coffee. Open-minded people make friends quickly, but they also often betray them. Look at the situation, if the interlocutor does not inspire confidence - do not share intimate.
Openness is associated with decency and honesty - two qualities of a business person. As a rule, girls are more relaxed, and their tongues are completely untied over a bottle of good wine. It is more difficult for guys in this regard, they do not share their experiences with the first person they meet.
Personality determines not only opinion, strength of character and striving for more, but also complexes, fear and shyness. What to do when the break in communication was so long that a barrier formed? Let's talk about everything in order.
Lack of common themes
Don't know what to talk about? There are a number of common topics that will set the stage for further conversation. Discuss the latest in the film industry, popular sports destinations, world news, and ultimately weather and nature. You do not need to have astronomical knowledge when communicating on the above topics.
Intrigue and gossip
Are you relaxing in the company, and a girl about whom there are still rumors harasses you with conversations? Do not fall for provocations, "score" on gossips and envious people. Cultivate a useful quality - to judge a person based on your own convictions, and not long tongues chatting behind your back.
Adrenaline rush
The interlocutor is talking utter nonsense? Are you starting to argue and prove you are right? Stop. You need to be able to cope with the storm that destroys further communication. Get out into the fresh air, catch your breath.
It doesn't matter what the true motives of behavior are - a discord with a husband or a girlfriend's departure. Don't take your anger out on others by embarrassing yourself. You will say nasty things to your interlocutor, for which you will subsequently suffer from remorse.
It is difficult for closed individuals to step over themselves and utter a couple of phrases to keep the conversation going. However, communication skill is also required, as is the ability to write and read. Experts have developed a number of recommendations with the help of which you will get off the ground.
Imaginary conversation
As ridiculous as it sounds, talk to the furniture. Tell the closet how you spent the day and what you ate for lunch. Sociologists repeat about the effectiveness of the procedure, because it is much more difficult to communicate with inanimate objects than with people. Try to build sentences in a coherent and interesting way. If the idea seems absurd, get a pet and chat with him.
Sweet praise
Pay attention to the personal qualities of the interlocutors, praise their skills. Did you like your colleague's blouse? Feel free to tell me. Did you brew excellent coffee in the cafe? Be generous with a genuine compliment. Words must come from the heart for people to believe you.
Chatting with random people
Make it a goal to talk to strangers every day. Going to the store for bread? Chat with your saleswoman about the freshness of the product. Can't find the street you're looking for? Ask your grandmother for directions at the bus stop. Greet the concierge and smile. The method is effective, despite its simplicity. He will root out the fear of starting a conversation first.
Interaction with others is an integral part of everyday life. Real communication skills come with practice. Dig into your opponent's stories, ask questions, and be sincere. Use exercises to improve communication skills, overcome all kinds of barriers and fight emotions. Address your interlocutor by name, join the team and become the soul of the company!
Video: how to learn to communicate with people
The world is so arranged that some people speak too much, without stopping for a second, while others in society cannot squeeze words out of themselves. What is the reason for this? The inability to express one's thoughts, maintain a conversation and conquer the interlocutors with the filigree style depends primarily on complexes and self-doubt, and not on a lack of intelligence, as many believe. However, to continue to close in oneself, calming the soul with doubtful "I do not like to communicate with people and I will not!" not worth it in any case. Even erudites with a rich inner world, who have read more than one hundred books and are distinguished by remarkable intelligence, may experience difficulties in communication.
The word is one of the strongest weapons of man
The ability to communicate and influence people with the power of words is considered the golden quality of a modern person. Without correctly constructed phrases, you will not be able to conclude a contract, make a banal congratulation at a wedding, win a girl's heart, not to mention the fact that many promising professions will not be available to you. In the beginning there was a word, and it will always be.
"Every thought expressed in words is a force whose action is infinite." These are the words of LN Tolstoy, once again proving that one must learn and be able to communicate with people. People who know how to masterfully handle the word are everyone's favorites, all doors are open to them, it is much easier for them to build a career and achieve their goal. Their secret is that they know how to communicate with people, they know where, when and what to say, where to remain silent, and where to argue. However, they do not have any extrasensory abilities and developed intuition. Everyone can master the art of communication - if there is a desire.
Secrets of a fruitful conversation
The basic principle of communication with people is based on the mirror rule: "As you are to others, so they are to you." Your rudeness will cause a backlash, inattention will be paid for in the same coin, and harsh gestures, abrupt speech and the habit of interrupting will make you one of the most unpleasant interlocutors.
So how to communicate with people correctly? The most important ingredients for a good conversation are:
- politeness;
- interest;
- interest;
- Attention;
- moderate gesticulation;
- unhurried and calm speech;
- sensitivity and responsiveness;
- the ability to listen.
As you can see, nothing supernatural! There is no need to memorize jokes and long tirades, there is no need to show tricks to be appreciated at its true worth, only elementary politeness - and the interlocutor is supportive of you!
Let's consider 10 basic rules of communication, having mastered which, you will become one of the most pleasant interlocutors.
The smile is another secret weapon in the arsenal of remedies that have a beneficial effect on people. After all, who would like to talk to a person whose face is frozen with a lifeless, detached expression? The same can be said about a person who constantly smiles - he may be mistaken for an abnormal. The main thing in a conversation is to maintain balance. It is polite to smile from time to time, but not laugh out of place, especially at the moment when they tell you about their problems, but also not laugh with force - a fake laugh is noticeable a mile away.
When communicating, try to look the other person in the eyes, while continuing to maintain a polite interest on your face, even when the topic of the conversation is not at all interesting to you. People do not like those who look at the floor or to the side - this indicates either the dishonesty of the interlocutor, or his bad upbringing. Observe these two rules, and soon the problem of how to communicate with people will be irrelevant to you.
Moderate gesticulation
In the psychology of communication, along with a smile, gestures are no less important. Try not to make sudden movements during the conversation and do not fuss, giving the impression of a nervous person. And even more so, do not bang your mobile phone on the table, do not drum with your fingers, do not look at yourself in the mirror and do not paint your lips. At best, the interlocutor will think that you are bored, and at worst, they will form an opinion of you as an ill-mannered and impolite person.
All people, without exception, welcome unhurried, gentle gestures, open postures (no arms crossed on the chest) and palms. At the same time, observe the widespread method of "mirroring": imperceptibly repeat the gestures of the interlocutor and sit in his position. The method works flawlessly - a person on a subconscious level will feel some unity with you, and then sympathy.
I do not know how to communicate with people, or How to start a conversation
Happened to you such situations when you just needed to strike up a conversation, but you did not know how to start it, with what words and on what topic? In such cases, choose any universally secular topic, such as weather, news, work, people around, cars. If you are aware of the interests and hobbies of the interlocutor, the best move is to ask him a question from this area, and then ask him to enlighten you. Communication will be provided to you!
If you are in an unfamiliar society, it is better not to enter into a conversation until you are imbued with the "general spirit" and you do not understand what people are interested in. To do this, simply listen carefully to each speaker. Your position as a listener in combination with aptly directed clarifying remarks will be appreciated, because everyone loves to speak, but only a few can listen.
Don't interrupt
This is perhaps the main principle of any conversation, on which the ability to communicate with people is built. Unnecessary remarks, translation of the conversation into your own person, impatience, not the desire to listen, but the desire to speak out, while brazenly interrupting the speaker, will not be pleasant to anyone. Such behavior will soon scatter your circle of communication, because selfishness, dominance and lack of sensitivity in conversation characterize you as an extremely unpleasant interlocutor.
Listening is what everyone needs
Ask the right questions
However, silently listening to the interlocutor, having contrived not to utter a word for his entire monologue, is also not the best option. Ask him questions from time to time, showing your interest and making it clear that you enjoy talking to him and listening to him. Try not to overdo it with questions, otherwise the conversation will smoothly flow into the interrogation framework. For those who find it difficult to communicate with people, you can begin to deal with complexes from this method. In this case, the questions can be something like: “Yes? Really? And what happened next? Yah! Is it true? What are you? What's next?" At the same time, it is not recommended in a conversation:
- criticize the profession of the interlocutor;
- unceremoniously interested in his income;
- confuse his name;
- load it with your problems;
- show excessive familiarity (clap on the shoulder, shake, grab a button, etc.);
- enter into an argument;
- to show their superiority by all means.
- to behave arrogantly and arrogantly, according to the principle “I don’t communicate with anyone, but I have condescended to you, so be happy”;
- do not admit that they are wrong, even though it is obvious.
Try to communicate with everyone kindly, politely, avoiding slang and familiarity. Do not complain to everyone about your unhappy fate, low-paying job, tyrannical boss, traitorous friends. They will listen to you once, the second time, but on the third they will begin to avoid you, since you have a bad habit of sowing negativity. If you are open, optimistic and responsive in communication, the doors to any society will open before you.
Control negative emotions
How to learn to communicate with people and make long-term acquaintances? To do this, first of all, you should work on yourself, on those qualities of character that prevent you from winning over people.
The ability to communicate with people is a special kind of art that also needs to be worked on. This means that a person should be able to admit his mistakes and try to prevent them in the future, as well as control negative emotions.
Broaden your horizons
So that you are not only an ordinary listener in the eyes of people, but also a person with whom it is pleasant and interesting to talk, actively expand your horizons. Read books, be interested in news, events, people. Agree, a conversation with an erudite interlocutor is much more entertaining than with a person who cannot connect two words. For a fruitful and exciting conversation, not only the rules of behavior are important, but also what you can give to the other side, whether you will be able to understand your interlocutor and support the conversation on a particular topic. After all, a comprehensively developed person knows how to communicate with people correctly, is able to quickly adapt to a conversation and quickly finds a common language with people.
Speak clearly and clearly
To learn how to communicate - communicate!
Many people, feeling awkward and embarrassed when talking, try not to talk to anyone, thereby further aggravating their situation. A person who avoids communication will never be a good conversationalist! You will only learn to have a casual conversation if there is active communication. Put aside your “I'm afraid to communicate with people” complex and start talking. Nobody demands from you the fiery speech of the leader, the exciting story of the orator, the persuasive monologue of the advertiser, you can start by simply asking questions, talking about familiar topics and listening. Remember, the more you communicate, the faster you will learn the basics of communication. At the same time, you do not need to complicate your life by reading literature on this topic, study hundreds of sources on the Internet and carefully prepare every word. You just need to communicate by regularly training your skills with different people.
Talk to sellers in the market, in the supermarket and boutiques, communicate with colleagues and acquaintances. Every conversation, every new meeting will become a brick in your experience and help build your self-confidence. Record your monologue on video and observe facial expressions, gestures, speech. It will immediately become clear to you what you need to work on and what your advantage is. Exercise and remember that the power of the word is great, multifaceted, and can have a powerful impact on your life.
We hope that we have given comprehensive answers to the question of how to learn to communicate with people.