Everyone knows that the foundations of a person's self-esteem are laid in early childhood. Relationships in the family, conflicts between parents, frequent quarrels - all this affects a person and his ability to accept himself in the future.
All people have different psychological stability. And, if someone's problems in the family did not lead to the fact that a person cannot accept and love himself, then a person who is less stable and vulnerable cannot boast that everything is in order with his self-esteem. And all his life he is haunted by the thought that he is somehow bad and does not deserve to be happy. The attitudes acquired in childhood are still in effect with him and it is very difficult to deal with them, because they are perceived as familiar to a person.
What does it mean to respect yourself
Self-respect begins when a person stops blaming himself for everything. He ceases to engage in constant introspection and introspection, which do not help him analyze his mistakes, but, on the contrary, open up more and more reasons for him to find reasons why it is impossible to love him, accept him as he is.
To respect and value yourself as a person means to think first of all about your interests. Do not be afraid to look like an egoist at the same time, healthy egoism has not prevented anyone yet. You need to be able to say "no" to people when other people's requests infringe on your own interests.
Most often, people who do not value themselves are afraid to refuse to help others, because they are afraid of being rejected. It seems to them that their main value as a friend or partner, or just as a person, is to earn the love of others, forgetting about their own aspirations. Such people begin to be eaten by a sense of guilt and fear that after a refusal, everyone will turn away from them. But in order to learn to value yourself, you need to try to confront your fears, work on achieving your own goals and true desires.
Self-respect is accepting yourself for who you really are, and not trying to follow the lead of others, just to please them. To be a healthy, self-confident person, to feel your integrity and value primarily for yourself, and not try to prove it to the world around you.
To adequately evaluate yourself, you first need to make a list of your pros and cons. You can write down any little things, including: “riding a bicycle”, “knowledge of languages”, “the ability to add numbers without a calculator”, etc. When the list is ready, count what is more - pluses or minuses?
Do not scold yourself and do not focus on your negative qualities Oh. Objectively analyze them and decide which negative qualities you want to get rid of, and what needs to be done for this.
Every day, note how much good you have, what you have achieved (per day, week or month) and write it down in a diary, even the smallest victories are necessary to start respecting yourself. Read a book of poems to your child, cook a delicious dinner for your husband, become the soul of the team at work - write it down. As the Chinese proverb says:
Always look at things from the bright side, and if there are none, rub the dark ones until they shine.
It is important to learn to celebrate your achievements, and not just praise your personality, while not even engaging in self-development. Otherwise it will lead to narcissism
Find time that will be devoted only to you. Do something you love that makes you happy. Engage in self-improvement, sign up for a gym, good physical shape also affects your well-being, if you like what you see in the mirror every day, then you are already halfway to learning to get along with yourself and accept yourself.
Women, more often than men, are faced with the question of how to learn to value themselves. The whole world of a woman is focused on the family, on her husband, on children, and often there is no time left for herself. This is where the problems with your man come from. He no longer sees in you the woman he once loved. You have dissolved in it and its interests are more important to you than your own. But for a woman, this is the most important thing - to learn to value yourself in a relationship. Since without this you will not have a harmonious relationship, you will always feel slighted.
A woman can and should be a little selfish towards her man. It is he who must conquer you, not you. And as long as you are only doing your best to please him, you will never learn to appreciate yourself as a woman. Don't be afraid to set aside a day for yourself to take a relaxing bath, clean yourself up, and take care of yourself only. It is very important for a woman to feel beautiful, and if a woman feels like that, then it is impossible to say that she does not respect herself and does not appreciate herself.
The man has always been and always will be the breadwinner. On his shoulders lies the responsibility of providing for and protecting his family. Therefore, if a man has a feeling of his inferiority, then, most likely, he simply could not realize himself in this.
As if in modern world there was no acute issue of gender equality, no one can change the fact that the role of a woman will always be in the preservation of the hearth, and men - in protecting and providing their woman and their home with everything necessary. Therefore, the only way that exists for a man to respect himself is to pursue his career, to achieve professional success. Make your woman happy, because she is a reflection of all that you have achieved.
Thursday, February 15, 2018
How to learn to respect and appreciate yourself? These questions are often asked today. People gradually come to understand that it is impossible to just “go with the flow”, but you need to fight for life. Getting out of depression is hard. It occurs on the basis of serious stress, so the very understanding of the need to make changes will be the first step on the road to recovery.
Learn to appreciate and love yourself
“In order for a person to be loved, he must love himself.”
Familiar expression? Think about its meaning. Only people who know their own worth will be able to win the love and respect of others. More often, such problems occur in women who have experienced a breakup with a loved one. Men are not prone to self-discipline, but they also get into difficult situations.
How to learn to love and appreciate yourself? Make a list of things that you absolutely cannot do. The recommendations are simple, but, as practice shows, effective:
- You can not be "poor" and "downtrodden". Learn to have and defend your own opinion, but at the same time hear others.
- A person who does not know how to stand up for himself will not be able to earn the respect of others, so you must definitely learn this art.
- Don't be afraid to be selfish (but within reason, of course).
- You should not make casual acquaintances, the sole purpose of which is to get rid of loneliness.
- Don't focus on your appearance. This does not mean that you should not look after yourself, but excessive infatuation with “your loved one” or excessive self-criticism only repels people.
- Don't dwell on the past. You need to live in the present, but what has already passed cannot be returned, so you just need to let it go and forget it.
- Don't try to be perfect. Such people do not exist. Attempts to put yourself in this category look false and repel others.
Learn to be yourself in any situation. Individuality decorates a person, distinguishes from the general mass, and therefore attracts the attention of others.
What is the reason for low self-esteem? The roots of this problem often go back to childhood. Children who were not supported by their parents, who were not taught to set goals and overcome obstacles on the way to them, who were not praised for every small personal victory, do not believe that they are capable of anything. They grow sluggish, infantile people, ready to "go with the flow", without standing out from the crowd.
People who do not know how to value and love themselves have low self-esteem. To change the situation, you have to engage in self-development. Review your life, find strengths, determine what you can do better than others. A person who does what he loves is transformed, and the attitude of those around him changes accordingly.
Regular self-development will help. active, purposeful people Like a magnet, I draw attention to myself. Don't be afraid to make mistakes! By analyzing them, we become wiser and stronger.
Looking for strengths and doing things
How to learn to appreciate yourself? Determine your strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps there is a serious potential within you? By developing their strengths, a person increases self-esteem, feels confident in life, ceases to be afraid of difficulties.
Don't be afraid to take action. People around will readily follow a strong and confident leader. Active people are in the spotlight. Remember that a person is judged by his actions.
Remember your accomplishments Lately. Even if their list is small, acknowledge your successes. Having done this, a person will immediately feel a surge of energy, self-confidence and a desire to achieve more will appear.
Find your purpose in life. People who understand that his actions are beneficial increase self-esteem.
Taking the first step is difficult. The fate of a man is in his hands! Think about it, do not "go with the flow", make a decision, and it will not be so difficult to change the situation.
To become happy, you need to know harmony, and without love and self-respect, it is unlikely that you will be able to achieve this high feeling. How to learn to sincerely love and respect yourself, forgive and let go of fear and pain?
Our motivation, life goals, energy charge, harmonious existence in this life depend on the level of self-esteem. What do you need to do to learn to respect and appreciate yourself?
Creating the perfect look
To acquire self-respect and self-esteem, it is necessary to adhere to various postulates that make us happier and more successful. How to make a husband and wife show love and humility, teach children to help others, sow love and self-respect in their souls from an early age?
What does psychology advise?
- It is important to be able to forgive, at any moment and period of life, forgetting both petty grievances and strong sins. You need to learn to forgive others, erasing pain, anger and suffering from your path. You can meditate, use various ways"visual representation of the offender", trying to let go of resentment from his soul forever.
- To show yourself a respectful attitude, you need to engage in self-development, learn new and interesting things, increase the level of self-esteem and increase the degree of confidence in your person. It is important to learn to love yourself, but at the same time not forget about others.
- It must be remembered that failures and negative thoughts attract the bad, and therefore it is important to learn how to switch to the positive in time, smile more often and accept life in all its manifestations.
- It is important to understand your surroundings - with whom do you communicate and what energy do you attract? You must surround yourself with worthy individuals who love and respect themselves, who are ready to help you at any moment, who express support and a friendly attitude.
- Never stop there! Keep improving, and look for new ways out of the situation. It is important to find yourself, find your favorite pastime, and then all the obstacles will be overthrown.
What happens if you don't show respect for yourself?
A person who does not show respect for himself becomes an inferior person, as if every mockery and keen glance of a neighbor is about him. Life is going badly, it is difficult to achieve the intended goals when there are only negative thoughts, complexes and fears in the head.
Only love and respect will help to cope with difficulties and gain success. People with positive thinking do not suffer from depression, always find a way out of any life situation do not mislead others.
How to love yourself and learn to respect?
What can be done to develop personal self-esteem and how to love yourself? You need to learn how to respect yourself in practice (do your hair, wear beautiful clothes, take care of yourself and your body, eat right and balanced in order to achieve the desired shape).
How to make yourself respected - it is important to stop comparing yourself with someone. Each person is individual and there are no identical personalities in the world. It is necessary not to focus on shortcomings, but to look for your talents and abilities in order to surprise others and love yourself.
If you made a mistake in something, then you should not reproach yourself for this, the one who goes forward and develops takes life lessons. You can't change the past, but the future is in your hands.
It is necessary to form the right habits, which will help increase the level of self-esteem. Each person should eat right, devote time to physical and spiritual development monitor your weight and health.
What can help boost self-esteem:
- relaxation;
- encouragement;
- positive emotions;
- positive thinking;
- affirmations and meditation;
- good health;
- self-development.
Before moving on to practical actions, you need to find the reasons why you still disrespect yourself.
Is it necessary to love yourself?
What hinders the development of your self-esteem is the lack of love, when a person ceases to live in harmony with the outside world, spiritual impulses. Until we love ourselves, we cannot truly love our neighbors.
Dissatisfaction with oneself makes one envy others, which means destroying one's world and ideas about life. If there is no proper attitude towards oneself, then pity arises, negative emotions that destroy the health and well-being of a person.
If you engage in self-discipline all the time, look for your negative sides and disadvantages, then nothing good will come of it. Only fear, pain and disappointment. That is why it is so important to stop and start looking for your own path in life, honest, noble and harmonious.
How to show love and apply it to yourself?
Every day, a person who loves and respects himself sets quite realistic goals for himself, achieves them and thanks himself for his efforts. This is the only way to achieve harmony and avoid self-flagellation.
There are several exercises that will help you change in better side:
The first exercise is self-awareness.
To do this, you need to carefully think and mentally answer a few questions:
- who am I in this life;
- what I do;
- why can I be proud of myself;
- what I do best;
- how others treat me;
- What should I change in my life.
The second exercise is to find your strengths
You need to take a piece of paper and write everything down positive sides. After every day, re-read them in order to cultivate the beautiful in yourself, to love yourself for what you are.
The third exercise - committing changes
Psychologists say that you can’t compare yourself with other people, but with yourself “yesterday” you can. What does it say? It is important to learn to note your negative and positive actions, and constantly fix them.
You need to continue the exercise until the dynamics of the results begin to satisfy you. So you will become proud of yourself, appreciate and love as an improved personality.
To strengthen the results obtained, it is important to regularly follow simple rules:
- before going to bed and after waking up, say warm words to yourself, thank the Lord for everything that you have, ask for blessings for the coming day;
- standing at the mirror, you can cheer yourself up by uttering words of praise and praise of some qualities;
- come up with a positive affirmation and repeat it as often as possible to achieve the desired result (a great example is the heroine of the movie “The Most Charming and Attractive”);
- try to please and pamper yourself, give small and big joys;
- it is important to take care of your body, be sure to engage in physical activity, walk more on fresh air eat healthy and wholesome food and when there is no physical discomfort, then it will be easier to love yourself.
How to start appreciating your personality?
How to make people respect themselves? Many people are afraid to appreciate and love themselves, because they think that they will stop thinking about others. But this is not so, love is not a manifestation of selfishness, it is important to make self-esteem optimal so as not to step over the line of what is permitted:
- Everyone has the right to make a mistake - this is not a weakness, there are no ideal people, and therefore everyone can do wrong things. The main thing is to change your mind and take measures to eliminate the error.
- No one owes anything to anyone - and therefore it is not worth demanding from others what they cannot give.
- You need to be open with people.
- It is important to accept people for who they are - not to try to change them.
In order not to reproach yourself for unrealizable plans, it is important to really plan every day and hour, only in this way you can manage to fulfill your plans and receive positive emotions as a reward for your work.
Psychologists say that those who work hard should have a good rest. After all, constant stress can lead to emotional exhaustion! We stop working at full capacity, we lose our skills, our qualifications, we begin to doubt our abilities.
Love and respect in the family and at work
How to make others respect themselves - relatives, friends, colleagues ... How to make a wife show patience and attentiveness to her husband? How to achieve her recognition of a man? Or become a valuable employee at work? There are many questions, but the answer is one - love and self-respect.
To family life has become an idyll, it is necessary to accept each partner with all his shortcomings, and not try to change them, but develop new ones, positive features character, which will become the key to a strong and happy life.
How to make a man respect his wife? Stop being an egoist, take on some of the "women's duties", get rid of the idea that a woman will not go anywhere and will always be there.
The main thing is to never give up, but always strive for victory, both at home, at work, in personal matters. In addition to all the tricks, you must always develop, every guy will be pleased when his girlfriend is appreciated and respected by others, and not grumbled and condemned.
Often the cause of family conflicts is the disrespect of partners for their personality. How to make a husband or wife respect himself? You need to get rid of the trail of the past, stop dwelling on the negative, reconsider your plans for the future and cultivate a personality full of strength and energy for a happy future.
In order for a husband to be attentive to his companion, it is important for a woman to learn to respect herself and him, to reckon with the opinion of her husband, and not to “cut” him for nothing. How can I get my husband to show concern and godly intentions? A woman needs:
- Stop hysteria.
- Do not take dirty linen out of the hut.
- Do not "extort" money from a man for uncontrolled purchases.
- Do not humiliate, do not insult, do not "roll up scandals" from scratch.
And it’s better to become a support and support for your dear husband, then he will “turn mountains”, so that everything in your family is excellent. Be a friend, spend more time together pleasant chores prove to your loved one that you deserve a good relationship.
Now you know what it means to appreciate and respect yourself, how to change life and make it beautiful and interesting. Be happy and take care of yourself! Develop and do not stop there! Movement is life and the guarantee of a beautiful future!
Each of us has experienced complete disappointment in ourselves. The reasons for this psychological state can be different and you should carefully understand yourself and not let it take its course " Bad mood". After all, often such an emotional decline develops into a protracted depression.
Not many people decide to sign up for a session with a professional psychologist. First, not everyone can be completely frank with a stranger. Secondly, such “outpourings of the soul with its further healing” are not cheap. And, to put it bluntly, it will be very expensive for an ordinary citizen of our country. Therefore, we recommend that you follow a simple, but effective rules to help you learn to respect yourself.
Tip #1 - Forget the flaws and highlight the good points
Most of us become obsessed with our imperfections and try to achieve the "unattainable ideal." No, we do not want to convince our reader that trying to become better is bad. On the contrary, it is always necessary to strive forward. But do not forget to respect yourself for what you have already achieved.
If you constantly see only flaws, then a depressed mood cannot be avoided. And if you're in a bad mood, it won't work. As they say: "Some people see the glass as half empty, others see it as half full". This rule also works great for raising self-esteem and teaching you to love yourself just the way you are.
You think only bores and bigots always know, so that they can do everything as much as possible. But no! Everything successful people know about this rule, so they all and everywhere have time. After all, before going to bed it is so important to feel that the day was not in vain and you have moved one step closer to your dream.
Such a state of satisfaction will help increase self-respect, thereby charging you with positive emotions for further accomplishments. So try writing a plan for the day and stick to it. Just set realistic goals that you can accomplish, otherwise, if you don’t manage to do them, you will be disappointed. And this is not at all the effect we are striving for.
"Those who work hard should get enough rest". After all, constant stress leads to emotional exhaustion. We begin to work not in full, and the tasks that have not been completed make us doubt our own abilities.
Therefore, it is so important to relax, reboot and cheer yourself up. Your outlook on what is happening will immediately change and you will feel inspired. Therefore, appreciate and love yourself, and try to share work time and leisure.
"We are what we eat"- such a statement is quite justified. After all, not only our health, but even our mood depends on what we eat. Did you know that such products with a high content of sugar (bars, chocolates, cakes) and estrogen (beer, soy, cheese) contribute to sharp drops mood, which significantly affects the hormonal and psycho-emotional state.
"Sport builds character" Many may disagree, but the fact remains. Therefore, it is important to inculcate the right habits from childhood. Any sport not only helps to develop willpower, but also helps with low self-esteem.
Everyone has cheated at some point in their life. Therefore, they know that lying will definitely not lead to anything “good”. Deception always becomes obvious, and your authority in the eyes of the people around you is rapidly falling.
"Better the bitter truth than the sweet lie"- such an aphorism most clearly describes this paragraph of our article. Every self-respecting person should be sincere both with himself and with people in his environment. Axiom "Treat others the way you want to be treated" undeniably works everywhere and with everyone.
“A negative experience is also an experience” So don't dwell on failures. Learn to take advantage of everything. After all, past failures make us more adaptable to the future. They are also an invaluable science for overcoming difficulties in the future.
So don't let negative emotions from the past undermine faith and self-respect. As they say: "After the storm, there is always calm" and “The black stripe will definitely be replaced by a white one”.
This paragraph sums up all of the above. After all, people with positive thinking do not suffer from depression, they always find a way out of any situation and under no circumstances see the point in lying or misleading others.
So by all means try to look at the world through the prism of "happiness", this will 100% help you look at yourself from a different angle. You will become more tolerant of yourself, learn to love and respect yourself even more.
Agree: if we do not love and do not value ourselves, then, willy-nilly, we begin to blame others for the pain that we experience, and as a result, we are overcome by anger, frustration and depression.
But what does it mean to respect yourself? I love the definition that young Kathy gave: “It means accepting yourself for who you are and forgiving yourself for the mistakes you have made. It's not easy to come to this. But if you can finally walk up to the mirror, look at yourself, smile and say, “I good man!" “It’s such a wonderful feeling!”
She's right: healthy self-esteem is based on the ability to see yourself in a positive way. Here are seven principles to help you feel better about yourself.
1. Your self-image should not depend on other people's assessments
Many of us form our self-image based on what others say. This leads to the development of real dependence - a person cannot feel normal without approving assessments.
Such people seem to be saying, “Please love me, and then I can love myself. Accept me, and then I can accept myself." They will always lack self-respect, as they cannot free themselves from the influence of other people.
Your mistakes and weaknesses do not define you as a person. The more you say to yourself: "I'm a loser, no one loves me, I hate myself!" - the more you believe these words. Conversely, the more often you say: “I deserve love and respect,” the more you begin to feel worthy of this person.
Try to think about your strengths about what you can give to others.
3. Don't let others tell you what to do and be.
It's not about the arrogant "my interests above all", but about not letting others tell you how to think and what to do. To do this, you need to know yourself well: your strengths and weaknesses, emotions and aspirations.
Do not adapt to the desires and requirements of others, do not try to change just to please someone. This behavior has nothing to do with self-respect.
Many do not respect themselves because they once committed unseemly deeds and sacrificed moral principles. There is a good saying about this: “If you start thinking better about yourself, then you will act better. And the better you act, the better you will think of yourself.” And this is true.
Similarly, the converse is also true. You think badly of yourself - and behave accordingly.
Self-respect implies that we are able to manage emotions so as not to harm ourselves and others. If you uncontrollably show anger or resentment, then you put yourself in an awkward position, and possibly destroy relationships with others, and this inevitably reduces your self-esteem.
Look around: many people live in their little world, believing that no one needs their thoughts and knowledge. They consider themselves narrow-minded and prefer to keep quiet. How you think you are is how you act. This rule always works.
Try to diversify your interests, learn new things. By deepening your knowledge of the world, you develop your thinking abilities and become an interesting conversationalist for a variety of people.
Life is full of possibilities - explore them!
Each of us has our own ideas about what is right for us, but we do not always follow this. Start small: stop overeating, switch to healthy food, drink more water. I guarantee that even these small efforts will definitely increase your self-esteem.
Dawson McAllister- radio host, motivational speaker, author of books. Maintains the blog The Hope Line.
Self-esteem is felt in the body, felt in other people, but it is difficult to talk about it. What does "dignity" mean? And what does "worthy" mean? Who determines what is worthy, what is not, and by what criteria do we separate the first from the second?
They are able to slow us down, interfering with the movement towards the goal. Often we are not aware of them. These blocks are our old memories, events, beliefs or attitudes that we give ourselves, but which the body deciphers in its own way.
How to learn to respect yourself?
The ability to respect oneself is one of the most important qualities for any person, on which the extent to which he can achieve success and satisfaction with his life directly depends. Only the person who knows how to respect himself is able to inspire respect from others, as well as achieve all the goals he has set for himself.
What is hidden behind the concept of self-respect and how to learn to respect yourself?
First of all, speaking of self-respect, it means the ability of a person to accept himself as he is, as well as to soberly and adequately assess his value and dignity. It is self-respect that allows a person to treat himself positively. The other side of this concept is satisfaction with one's own actions and decisions.
Self-respect implies well-built and effective relationships with others, which means that there is no question of selfishness, pride or arrogance. Any person who is able to respect himself will never put himself above the team. Instead, he will find a way to interact with him in a way that is satisfying to both parties.
If a person treats himself without respect, it is highly likely that he considers himself defective, inferior or incapable. He hesitates at the moment of making decisions, has difficulty making choices when necessary, and his relationships with others are tense and do not give any satisfaction.
The question arises as to how to learn to respect yourself? First you need to learn to show attention and care for yourself and your needs. Start pampering yourself, give yourself gifts, regularly replenish your wardrobe. These measures will help you learn to better yourself on a psychological level.
Equally important is the issue of keeping yourself in good physical shape. Start exercising and get your body back in shape. Force yourself to rest if necessary. Take care of your health and if you feel sick, do not hesitate to apply for sick leave.
Try to surround with care and attention all the people close to you, especially your family members. This will help you win their love and respect and give you additional confidence in your abilities and capabilities. Feel free to share your warmth with them and they will return the same to you.
Start believing in yourself! Overcome your laziness and fears and you can achieve everything! If you have been dreaming of starting your own business for a long time, go for it. If you want to start a new relationship, start communicating with people more. Set a goal and start moving towards it, using any opportunities for this. All in your hands!
Every morning before you get out of bed, just smile at yourself. Rejoice in every new day that will give you the opportunity to do or learn something new for you. If you want, turn on your favorite music that will help create the right mood for you. Do exercises and feel how your whole body is energized.
Appreciate yourself for who you are, without making any comparisons with other people. Always remember that you have your own path in life, only you have the right to evaluate yourself. Maybe someone is superior to you in some ways, but you have your own qualities and abilities, in which you have no equal.
Without self-respect, it is impossible to live a fulfilling life. And in order to develop it in yourself, you need to really want it. Of course, on the way to self-esteem, you may encounter difficulties, but with perseverance, you can easily overcome them.
Sources:
How to learn to respect yourself
We all want to be respected. But it's hard to earn the respect of others if you don't respect yourself. Radio personality and motivational speaker Dawson McAlister offers seven principles to help build healthy self-esteem.
http://www.psychologies.ru/standpoint/kak-nauchitsya-uvajat-sebya/
How to learn to respect yourself?
What do you know about self-respect? How to learn to respect yourself.
http://kanks.ru/kak-nauchitsya-uvazhat-sebya
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