Only the feeling of hatred can be compared in strength with the feeling of love. Both emotional states are very difficult to manage. But, if, by hating a person, we can move away from him and at the same time not experience a feeling of discomfort, then the situation is much more complicated with a feeling of strong attachment to our soul mate. Girls are puzzled by the question “how to stop loving a guy” for various reasons, in most cases it is unrequited love or the inability to be around due to circumstances.
How to tell if a guy doesn't love youEven the most ardent passion fades over time and is reduced to a minimum, turning into everyday pleasantries on duty (a kiss before leaving for work, a bouquet of flowers on March 8, a vacuum cleaner for a birthday, etc.). But this is not indifference at all, people continue to love each other and be a reliable support for their family. You can distinguish genuine feelings from fake ones by the following features:
- he begins to avoid meetings, referring to being busy;
- you invite him to a cafe, for a walk, a movie, and he only graciously agrees so as not to offend you;
- his plans and desires always come first, and they can change several times a day;
- you have something to say to him, but there is neither time nor opportunity for this, he ceases to be interested in your affairs and mood;
- you have few positive emotions when you remember the time spent with him;
- he has not complimented you for a long time, which lowers your self-esteem, while the thought may arise that no one else will be able to please you;
- you are organizing a romantic candlelight dinner, and he can show up in a tracksuit and start getting ready for football with friends;
- he may not answer calls for a long time, while you always keep the phone close at hand and pick up the phone after the first signal.
How to get rid of the feeling of love
To remove psychological dependence on a loved one, psychological techniques will help:
- Irrevocability. The decision to stop loving has been made and cannot be canceled, otherwise you will doom yourself to the same circles of hell that have passed before. It is impossible to renew a relationship that no longer exists or has never existed.
- Getting rid of bad habits. Together with the suppression of feelings, you can simultaneously get rid of bad habits, for example, smoking, thus, attachment to a person will be associated with unpleasant feelings, which will allow you to forget him sooner. In addition, when you quit smoking, you will automatically switch your attention.
- Letter. Write the guy a detailed letter (you don't need to send it to the addressee), in which you say everything that you could not say during the meetings. This does not have to be accusations of something, because you also experienced pleasant moments with him, mention this too, write in detail why you should break up. Thank and forgive, so as not to burden yourself with resentment and easily move on through life.
- Pros and cons. Often girls reward their boyfriends with virtues that they cannot boast of, try to soberly and impartially evaluate a person (imagine that you are an independent expert or a judge), write on a piece of paper the pros and cons of character, if there are more shortcomings, then you managed to cope with task. Then tear off and discard half of the sheet, which describes the partner's merits. Put the flaws in a prominent place so that you can re-read them in difficult times.
- Hobbies. Our world gives ample opportunities to those who want to learn and create new things, engage in creativity, visit various sports sections, write a book. Discovering new areas of activity, you can meet interesting people and understand that your boyfriend is not the center of the universe, but an ordinary passer-by.
- Goals and desires. Set specific goals for yourself for each day and achieve them. Get a second higher education, change jobs, live in another city, etc.
- Chats. Fill your life with communication with strangers, perhaps they will give valuable advice or simply give positive emotions without any obligation.
- Laughter. Laugh as much as possible, download your favorite comedy series, read various funny stories and anecdotes, eat chocolate, it is a source of good mood.
- Pet. Get yourself a kitten, puppy or other animal that needs your care, so you can give the creature all the warmth that has accumulated during your relationship, but has not found a way out.
Girls are harder to endure a breakup than guys. You made grandiose plans for the future, planned a life together and have already come up with names for future children. However, relationships have an unpleasant tendency to end, so it's time to take care of the main thing. How do you forget the guy you love? Now you are in a depressed state and cannot concentrate on important matters. Believe me, this feeling will soon pass, but first you need to work hard.
Stop communicating
At this stage, you do not need to immerse yourself in yourself, think about how this could happen. The time will come later for such thoughts. Cut off any connection with your ex. Work on the subconscious, hammer into your head that you have never loved it.
Try to imagine that the situation happened to someone else, you have nothing to do with it. Many will say “Don't screw yourself up!” Yes, the statement takes place, especially in this situation. But it is not entirely correct: you do not need to wind up positive thoughts, do not think that there is a chance to make up and come together. Act from the opposite: remember his rude behavior or other bad deeds. Start from this.
Do not come to the company if the very "hero of the occasion" is there. In cases where you intersect for other reasons, such as working together, go on vacation for a week. Get your emotions and thoughts in order.
Get rid of contacts
Girls have an unpleasant feature with regards to social networks. Do you constantly visit his page on Odnoklassniki and VKontakte? Change your habits. Remove it from friends or fight the constant urge to keep track of recent visits, new pictures and added friends.
You are not together, which means there is no need to watch from the sidelines at his happy face and, even worse, his new girlfriend. If you do not have enough willpower to stop such actions, remove your own profile from the network. After the expiration of time, you can easily restore it, you should not worry about it now.
Remove the young man's contacts from the speed dial, it is better to erase it altogether and add it to the ignore list. If possible, change the number, buy another SIM card, tell your contacts to friends, acquaintances and parents. Warn them not to share the new number with anyone without your consent.
Such extreme measures are needed, first of all, for your peace of mind. The state of expectation eats up from the inside, takes away all the strength. You constantly check your smartphone hoping to see a missed call or SMS. When the number changes, the situation improves, you move one step forward.
Often, a guy begins to show interest in the girl's life through mutual acquaintances. He can transmit covert messages, greetings and other nonsense. Don't be fooled. As soon as you get closer, he will withdraw again, this will be repeated every time, if you do not break the connection in time.
Have you decided not to take steps to remove the young man from your friends? This is your choice. When he likes photos or posts, don't react in any way. Do not reply to messages that are followed by the phrase "Sorry, I was wrong, I didn't write to you." This is a pure provocation.
Take all memories out of sight
Hide all the "evidence". Remove shared photos from prominent places, or tear them up and throw them in the trash. Get rid of the guy's t-shirts, perfume, shaving supplies. All these things contain memories that are absolutely unnecessary at the moment. Clean your PC, delete correspondence from your phone, email, social network. Change the photo on the screensaver.
Create an image of a free girl, independent and cheerful (at least outwardly). Buy new bedding, bright curtains, paintings. Fill the gaps in the closet with your own items. Your apartment should look like a purely female apartment. Change your avatar online, hide albums, no need to set sad statuses so as not to attract strangers into your personal life.
Are acquaintances inviting you to a new sushi bar? A great opportunity to relax, agree immediately! Meet new interesting people, make "useful" connections. Do not be alone for a long time, call old friends with whom you have not dared to meet for many years. Choose only sincere and positive people for the environment, they energize. Communicate more with "loners" rather than family members, so as not to project their connection onto yourself.
Stop being in close contact with your best friends temporarily to avoid the temptation to talk about your boyfriend. What was, then passed, the time has come for excessive communication with other persons. A girl in love often forgets about her friends when a boyfriend appears in her life. Don't become selfish, you don't have to sit and dream about him for hours on end. Call your friends, invite them to a bowling alley, a water park, a night club. You can have a pajama party with cocktails, incendiary music and all the ingredients. More laughter and more fun, you will benefit!
An important note on drinking: don't drink too much. The effects of alcohol usually have the opposite effect on beautiful ladies. Instead of coherent speech and funny girlish conversations, phrases about unrequited love will flow from your lips, and your eyes will be filled with tears. The morning will bring swollen eyelids, headaches and lethargy. To prevent this from happening, and emotions do not burst out, it is advisable to be in public places. The main thing is to occupy your thoughts with something new, completely eliminating negative thoughts.
Take off your rose-colored glasses
Have you stopped communicating, got rid of physical evidence and had a good time with your friends? Great, it's time for some serious thought. Order yourself to forget the guy. Sit down and think that enough time has passed, you are doing just fine without him. What makes you miss your beloved? There are no more photos, things too. Maybe the thoughts in your head keep you awake at night?
Come to the realization of what happened. You are not together. No need to try to remember the smell of his perfume, the manner of speaking, funny moments. Don't torment your soul. Stop scrolling the voice dear to your heart in your head, asking your friends for his successes. If the guy is dating another, let go. There is a new life ahead, there will be a gentleman who will appreciate you and will not miss the golden ticket. There are kind, caring and successful guys, you will definitely meet one of them.
There are often cases when, after a long conversation with a guy, a girl wants to take care of him constantly. It is important to understand that the situation is different now. You broke up, which means you should not take on an unbearable burden.
For this purpose, get a pet. You will take care of him, start to play with him and even talk. Psychologists believe that the animal is an excellent antidepressant. When choosing a pet, keep in mind that you are responsible for it. You don't need to get a dog if you're not sure. A cat or a parrot will be enough.
Surprisingly, the trend for ferrets (ferrets) is rapidly developing. They are funny, playful and sleep 19 hours a day. However, these animals require a lot of time and effort with regards to education, but they are worth it. Think well and make the right decision. Promise yourself that you will always take care of your new pet, do not give it to friends or put it out on the street. Channel your love towards someone who deserves it.
Find a hobby
At the moment, you need to get rid of the routine life. Find a hobby that will now take up all your free time. Go to the gym for a test workout, work out your figure. Exercise knocks bad thoughts out of your head. The ex should bite their elbows while looking at you. Revenge will be sweet, won't it?
Do what you couldn't decide before. Learn to ride a motorcycle or get a driver's license to drive. Call companies that offer extreme vacations. Ride ATVs, go go-karting, jump with a parachute. The last option comes with a five-day training, an experienced instructor will teach you everything you need. Adrenaline will shake and make you strive for new heights.
Take up the study of foreign languages. It will be good for you when you decide to visit a new country again. You can master the profession of a make-up artist or master-eyebrow artist, learn how to extend nails, hair or eyelashes. There are a lot of opportunities, develop!
Invite friends, cook a delicious dinner together, or order pizza at home. Turn on an interesting TV show or movie, spend time with your own people. Make it a habit to meet every weekend and make it your tradition. In winter, go ice skating or skiing, in summer walk more in the park, swim in a river, lake or sea. Get out on kebabs, play cards, twister or volleyball. Find a passion for your soul to restore balance to your life.
Tidy up your wardrobe. Try on every thing, throw away everything that doesn't fit perfectly. Get beautiful underwear, you will feel confident in it. Take the rainy day money. Go shopping with your friend, choose a beautiful dress, trendy jeans and expensive shoes. Pay attention to the perfume, it should not be harsh and cloying, give preference to fresh aromas.
Visit a hairdresser, change your hair color drastically, choose a hairstyle. No wonder they say “When a girl makes a new haircut, she’s going to change her boyfriend!” This indirectly refers to you. Reincarnate, no need to be a gray mouse, stand out from the crowd!
Do not forget to take care of your skin, do cleansing and nourishing masks several times a week. Start visiting a tanning salon to become the happiest owner of tanned skin. Choose only professional decorative cosmetics, master the technique to create the correct face contour. Visit the master, do manicure and pedicure several times a month.
Chat with other guys
You do not need to be faithful to someone who is not around now. Does a nice guy want to meet for a long time? Don't refuse him. No one is forcing you to start a relationship, but it doesn't hurt to take a closer look at a profitable party. Surround yourself with gentlemen, go on dates. This is a lot of pluses: delicious food, interesting new movies, active pastime.
Register on a dating site, many people start communicating on the Internet and develop serious relationships. Love comes unexpectedly, you yourself will not notice how thoughts about the ex will fly out of your head. Over time, you will stop thinking about him, compare with other representatives of the stronger sex, life will improve.
You should not discuss past relationships with gentlemen, you will ruin the evening, an unpleasant aftertaste will remain in your soul. Take a closer look at the men who previously showed sympathy for you, do not dismiss them immediately. Look for positive aspects in the character and demeanor of the interlocutor, not all guys are goats.
When a friend wants to set you up with someone on a double date, don't swear at her. Accept the invitation and have a good time. Do not meet young men in nightclubs and entertainment pubs, they are not looking for relationships in such establishments. It is important to understand that the world has not settled on an ex-boyfriend, it is not forbidden to think about him. However, you do not need to scroll for hours on end scraps of the past connection.
It's time to start a new life. Move on, don't dwell on one person. Without ending the past, you will never find a bright future. If to achieve your goal you need to move to a new apartment or change jobs, go for it! Stop moping, have fun, look for the good on the worst days. Set a goal to save up for a new car and achieve it. Go travel.
Video: how to forget the person you love
They say that love comes only once in a lifetime, but many disagree with this and claim that they have loved at least five or even ten times in their lives. But absolutely everyone will agree that love - this is the brightest feeling, without which there is no point in living. But she is not always joyful and inspired - very often it happens that love brings so much pain and suffering that you want to tear this feeling out of your heart, bury it on the other side of the world and never experience anything like this again.
What could be the reason? Yes, everything that is suitable - unrequited feelings, danger to your psyche, reputation, and even life. Any sane person understands that it is impossible to stop loving another with a wave of the hand, but it is always worth trying, because love is killed for years, everyday, bad attitude. So maybe you can stop loving a loved one with an effort of will? In war, all means are good, so you need to try everything to achieve your goal.
The first steps
The more you strive stop loving a guy the more you think about it, the stronger your feelings. The most difficult thing is to start, but having gathered up the courage, taking all your iron will into a fist, you need to gradually make your feelings cool down. We will not be able to tell you how to quickly stop loving an ex-boyfriend, since only magic can promise lightning-fast results in amorous affairs. But if you really want with all your heart to remove the object of your love from your heart and memory, and every day you think how to stop loving a guy and start your life from scratch, then we simply have to warn you that this idea is not always successful and requires a person maximum mental effort.
Why do I want to stop loving?
Take time to think about everything in a calm, quiet environment and realize that your decision is correct. First, make sure you really want to be free and independent that you wish yourself a better life and a brighter and more promising future. Try to look for such arguments against which your loving heart cannot find any excuses. For example: “he drinks and smokes, it means that from such a person I will not be able to give birth to healthy children” or “he is too aggressive in a drunken stupor, and someday it may end in tears”, or “he is lazy and does not want to go to college, and even more so to work - with such a person I will not see a secure future ", or" he does not strive for anything, he is lazy, and I do not need such a life partner ", or" he too often looks at other girls and does it even in my presence, what will happen next? "
Believe me, girls: perfect men just don't exist on this earth, and everyone can find flaws, bad habits, or even those little things that annoy you a little. The more you find such little things, the easier it will be to convince yourself that he is not a match for you and that your heart does not need him at all.
"Burn" the memories 
In order to throw a guy out of your heart, it is imperative to burn (both figuratively and literally) all the memories - delete all joint photos, correspondence from the computer, remove him from friends on VKontakte, in Odnoklassniki, delete his SMS and number from the phone, add his number to the black list, mercilessly burn all postcards, notes, movie tickets in the forest or right above the gas stove, give soft toys and his other gifts to the orphanage (now they are more needed there). And do all this mercilessly, do not cry over every postcard, sweep everything into an armful and, without looking, throw it into the fire or into the trash can. And you do not need to leave any cute and sentimental figurines or teddy bears - they will only remind you of the good sides of your boyfriend, and then it will be even more difficult to stop loving him.
By such actions, you can clear the atmosphere around you from any memories of him, and now the most difficult thing will remain - to remove everything from your head and heart.
Change yourself
A girl can become different only at that moment, when she completely changes herself, including externally. New clothes, shorter skirts, a fitted coat instead of an ordinary jacket, change comfortable ballet flats to thin (albeit short) heels, change your hairstyle or hair color, instead of the usual light pink, cover your nails with a defiant bright red varnish. And all your arguments “I don’t want this now,” “I can’t live without him,” and “all this is not for me” are simply not accepted - you must change for the sake of your future, a better future without him.
Believe me, even such a trifle as red nail polish is ready to cheer you up. Well, if you all have changed go out into the street, surely a lot of men will pay attention to you. Well, nothing knocks an old love out of the heart so well as a new love.
Make new acquaintances
We all know the saying “ fight fire with fire
". It will seem to many that this way of falling out of love with the ex is not very effective, because in every new person, a girl in love will look out for the features of her half. But the main thing is not the comparison process itself, but the result. There is a very high chance that not in the first, so in the second, and maybe in the third applicant, you will finally meet someone who will be better than your beloved - and then new feelings will flare up, extinguishing the old ones.
In addition, it helps to simply distract yourself, which also gives some hope that the less you think about the person, the less your feelings for him. However, you should not rush headlong in search of new love, change guys like gloves, or even worse - take revenge on the entire male sex for your painful love. You should not let everyone you meet into bed in order to forget the one who does not want to leave the heart in any way - this way you will only expand the emptiness in your soul, because one-day guys do not heal the soul, they corrupt it even more.
Anything you need - easy flirting, the realization that someone else may like you, that other guys with you are just as interested that not only your ex-lover saw in you a woman.
New sensations, new emotions, light falling in love, the first touch of hands, lips, holiday romance- that's exactly what you lack so much to forget. And all this can be obtained on vacation, in a hot country, where you can go with a friend, and best of all with a whole company. There you will certainly not get bored and immersed in your gloomy thoughts!
Don't leave yourself free minutes
In the case when thoughts and heart are clogged with an unnecessary person, free time is our enemy because just when we are not busy, when our brain and thoughts are free from worries, he comes into them, the person whom we so want to erase from life. What to do about it? Do not allow free minutes into your life, that is, load your every day so that there is only 6 hours of sleep left, and at night you came so tired that you only had enough strength to lie on the pillow and immediately fall asleep.
It is very easy to achieve this effect - set a goal for yourself to walk up the career ladder, plunge headlong into study, work, come up with a few hobbies, get yourself a dog, with which you will never be sad. The more activities, goals, desires you have, the less time you will have for sad thoughts, the more acquaintances you will have, the more chances you will find that person who can oust your former love from your heart.
Make an appointment with a psychologist
In America, in the West, such a solution to a problem as going to a psychologist is quite common, and no one is ashamed of it, because many people there understand that emotional experiences cannot be cured with pills and potions - this requires a specialist in the field of psychology.
How can a psychologist help you stop loving, you ask? He will simply explain from session to session that love is actually not such a bright and great feeling, but just a biochemical process in our body, the desire of a human individual to continue its race. And such processes are inherent in each of us since ancient times. It is not so easy for many girls to realize this scientific truth, because they so fanatically love their chosen ones. But if you get to a really good psychologist who understands such things, then perhaps, together with the rest of our advice, he will really help you get rid of this "love addiction", as many experts in the field of psychology call it.
Common mistakes 
When you make the final decision to stop loving your ex, you can certainly make some of the most common mistakes:
Don't kill love with alcohol
Many people (both men and women) believe that there is only one way to escape from feelings - by getting drunk to unconsciousness. But this is the grossest mistake that leads to absolutely opposite consequences. Alcohol makes a person's brain free itself, and if you promised yourself never to call this person when you were sober, then a drunken head will surely remember his number (even if it has long been erased from contacts) and will force his hands to write at least one sms about love... You need it? Of course not! Therefore, stay away from alcohol at such moments - it is easier for a sober head to restrain a heart that has not yet cooled down.
Do not think that you will forget your old love forever.
« Fall out of love"Is not a synonym for" forget”, Because memory cannot be erased by an effort of will. Do not be discouraged if his image sometimes pops up in your head - the main thing is that your heart does not skip from this. And it is very simple to check whether you have stopped loving a person or not - if you accidentally see him on the street or stumble upon his photo, and your heart does not respond in any way, then you still succeeded in your business.
Do not go to fortune-tellers
This method is especially often resorted to by those women who need to stop loving a married man. This is one of the most difficult tasks, because he probably fed you with promises, you loved him and hoped for so many years, but finally realized that you have no future with him. Many fortune tellers assure that it is very easy to quickly stop loving a man, punish the chosen one who betrayed you, send all sorts of damaging curses on him, and so on, for little money. But you should not run to the grandmothers and ask them for advice on how to stop loving a man - they will offer you a conspiracy, a slander, lapel potion and other nonsense, they will tell you or spoil it. Although many women claim that this helps to lose interest in their beloved, it still contradicts many life principles, and it is not yet known how such actions of black evil forces can affect your children.
Don't dig in yourself
Often after unsuccessful relationships, after betrayal, after the partner's feelings for you cool down, self-esteem goes down, we begin to wonder what is wrong with us, what mistakes we have made, we begin to delve into ourselves, looking for even non-existent flaws. Self-examination is good, but self-flagellation is unlikely to help you in any way. Since you have decided to rid your heart of love for the ex, then you need to love yourself again, fall in love with a new, changed one, assure yourself that now he is not even worthy of your little finger. If you have changed for the better, then why do you need such a guy? Did he find another one? Got a binge or just cheated? Well, thanks to him for teaching such a lesson, for allowing him to diversify his life and showing what kind of fools you should not marry.
But even after reading all the tips written above and trying them all, no one will give you a guarantee that you will stop loving a person, because we are not robots and not mechanisms that have a button " Off". We are real people with a lot of emotions and experiences. And everyone's future depends only on ourselves, and only we build our own destiny. And sometimes it happens that for the sake of your future and the happiness of your children, you need to sacrifice love.
Hooks are certain actions and emotions that increase your well-being, give you pleasure, and which you attach great importance to in your life.
The first advice from a psychologist on how to stop loving someone you love very much is this: we find all the clues about your ex.
If you find all your clues that do not let you go and make you think about the person, then attachment to him will decrease.
Find as many of them as possible and remove all leads from your life!
To do this, ask yourself questions.
- What did you get so much from your partner?
- What did you do for your partner, after which you experienced positive emotions or heard words of praise addressed to you?
- What plans did you make for the future with your partner?
- What were your expectations for him?
- What special things did you eat with him or did he cook for you that you have not tried before?
- What did the person tell you so extraordinary and pleasant that you had never heard from anyone before?
- What people and in what cool places have you been together that made you feel better?
Answer the questions in writing and find all the clues to close questions from psychology on the topic of how to stop loving a person who does not love you and not experience the pain of separation and loss.
For example:
- When I cooked delicious food for her, I heard very kind words addressed to me. This is a clue.
- The woman thinks about how the guy hugged and touched her in a way that no one else has done before.
- Clues can be different declarations of love, words of sentimentality: “I have never had such a person”, “I feel very good with you,” “you are the love of my life,” and the like.
- A great clue can be your tenderness and affection that you gave to each other.
Find all the clues first. How to disable them will be written below in the article.
2. Deeper understanding of attachment to sensations
Many become attached to the feelings of closeness that your partner gave you in bed.
Your memories are connected with those sensations that your partner gave you:
- tactile pleasures;
- touching;
- tenderness and warmth;
- energy.
Feelings are not the most important thing in life, do not attach much importance to them. They are all temporary and only give temporary pleasure.
All people blindly chase after sensations and fall into an endless wheel of suffering. Then worries begin about how to stop loving a person who does not love you.
See reality soberly.
3. Get rid of everything at home that suggests her / him.
What can reinforce addiction in the home:
- gifts from a former person;
- his clothes;
- shared music and files on your computer;
- joint videos and photographs;
- all sorts of disks and other, at first glance, little things.
It is often enough to see, look, hear (and sometimes smell) how the memories are rapidly running up.
Get rid of it all. Or hide it somewhere in the attic so as not to catch your eye.
Consider my example
At my house, I once came across the lens of an ex-girlfriend while cleaning.
She took off her lenses at my house when she stayed with me overnight. Immediately rushed pictures in my head and fond memories of the moments together.
Such things must be immediately found and thrown away.
I removed all the things that remind of her from view in order to close the questions on the topic of how to stop loving a girl who does not love you and not think about her anymore.
4. How to silence a restless mind and inner voice that make you suffer
Write answers to the following questions in writing
- What negative and painful emotions and states will you continue to experience with a partner if you don't cut the connection now?
- How will your life change for the better when the person is gone? next to you? What will you gain, how will you feel?
- How excruciating your life will be if you keep going maintain a relationship with this partner?
- If I lived a perfect life 10/10(where everything is in order in my personal life, with finances, I am abundant in choice and happy), what would I do?
List and find as many answers as possible for each question. Write them down as a list.
It is very important to do this in writing, regardless of your gender, in order to remove worries and thoughts about how to stop loving a person who does not need you or does not need you.
Nuances
- Write down the answers in as much detail, deep and in detail as possible!
- After that, every time the mind again begins to remind of a person, makes him suffer, you open this list in front of you.
- An answer list will silence your mind and remind it why you don't need a person.
- The mind will simply lag behind with its restless thoughts, because the list with answers directly indicates to it how bad you are with your partner now and how it will be even worse if everything continues.
- Whenever you remember a person, keep your list of answers next to them.
5. Find for yourself and mark those moments where you were under the manipulation
- These can be those moments in your relationship when you were given either positive or negative emotions.
- Thus, you are hooked on a person for the sake of repeating high positive emotions again.
- Or your partner was attractive and beautiful only on very rare and exceptional occasions. But these moments are so epic and unique by no one else that you are ready to do almost anything for him to see the person again at the peak of his happiness, to see his attractiveness and charm.
- The more unexpected and episodic those moments happened, the stronger your dependence and submission to it becomes fixed.
- Thus, your behavior becomes stronger, where you obey the other.
There is such a hidden, maybe even unconscious manipulation of you.
Find and write these points on paper as well.
This will help remove worries about how to stop loving a person if you see him every day and who may have used these chips on you before.
Thus, you will find more reasons why you felt bad with your partner and why you should not continue to be together.
There will be an even greater incentive to break unhealthy attachments.
6. How to disable clues to a person you love very much
To disable leads you need:
- Realize that you can give yourself all these leads. without the need for someone.
- Realize their uselessness and they will be thrown away by themselves.
You yourself can satisfy your desires and needs, without the need for someone from outside.
Examples of
- Food - you can learn how to cook yourself or go and dine hearty and tasty in a good dining room.
- Pleasures in bed - you can always find someone with higher skill.
- Praise and Approvals - Appreciate yourself.
- The contrast of emotions - there are activities that are many times more expressive and excitement. Skydiving, martial arts and others.
If you found all the clues, realized their uselessness, found moments of manipulation, got rid of everything that reminds of a partner, made a list of reasons and reasons why you would be even better without him, how bad you are with him now and will get even worse, then you will close your questions about how to stop loving a guy who does not love you, or an ex-girlfriend.
7. Proceed from abundance, get rid of the thinking "that person is the only one on earth"
- You are coming from a lack mindset and you are still possessed by the supposedly "special" person, so you still cling.
- Do you still naively believe that your former passion stands out from others when there is no longer a former attraction. Such thinking, especially among ladies, as a result, creates unnecessary experiences on topics about how to stop loving a man and not suffer, letting him go at last.
- Perhaps he has already abandoned you, but you, still communicating with other people of the opposite sex, think that "here is my beloved - he is still different."
- It's time to get rid of this pathetic mindset: “He / she is the only one. I am drawn to him. We watched all these melodramas and serials on TV, books and songs that tell about true love. I think it was the same person of mine. "
- Some keep on thinking the victim's paltry thoughts: “I can't help but dig in my head and keep thinking about him. I have never had this and never will. "
8. Realize the fact that you love the image that you associate with the ex, but not himself
Wise Realizations
- All these past feelings of love are created by you yourself and this has nothing to do with the person himself. Your love doesn't come from your ex.
- All these sensations that you are experiencing are your own complement to the image, which is not valid.
- And it is you yourself who perceive it in such a way that you supposedly experience these feelings of love.
- The way you perceive another person, others perceive him differently.
- We don't choose attraction. Attraction does not depend on us.
That is why when you fall in love, you do not fall in love with a person - but with an image that is in your head and is associated with this person. This image has nothing to do with the person you fell in love with.
Proof
Consider, for example, a case where a woman has intense love for a man.
If you fell in love with the man himself, then the man would have special characteristics that make all women fall in love.
But then all women, without exception, would fall in love with this man. But this is not happening.
This means that we perceive people subjectively.
The basis of attraction is the subjective perception of each person.
And the lady in this case needs to keep track of this in herself, so that later she does not ask questions about how to stop loving a guy if you see him every day and whom you still love.
Reverse useful insights
- We are not attracted to people, but to images of people.
- People see your subjective image, and you cannot change it.
- The image touches neither you and is not radiated by you in any way. The image is created by the person who perceives you in this way.
- This image can change in his head. These are the basics of attraction.
9. You yourself are your goal in life, and not some other person
Consider an example with an ordinary girl
- Her usual gray days. Let's say an average woman is NOT in a relationship going to her job every day. It becomes her reality and her life. Even if she is not so passionate about work and there is no strong passion.
Then she comes home, watches movies, eats and goes to bed. And so her life passes. - What does your brain strive for to give you a purpose in life? in the world where you are? This is "find this one person."
- And when, against the background of that boring life, you meet a “special” partner, your brain says to you, “This is the one. Now you have someone to live for. "
- It may not even be the best... He may be the best at your job or where you are often. But this is how your brain plays a cruel joke on you.
- Your brain mistakenly begins to see a person as a purpose in life. and a reason to wake up every morning. This makes life for the same ordinary average woman less boring.
This imaginary feeling gives you new emotions. - Now, for the sake of him, she begins to try to look better, to somehow take care of herself. Meeting such a person, a woman attaches importance to her former reality.
A woman needs to get rid of this type of thinking so as not to need the advice of a psychologist later on how to stop loving a married man or another secret passion.
Ask yourself: "Do you still love him and carry this with you to feel the purpose in life?"
If the answer is "Yes", then it is your big mistake to make your loved one and relationship a goal in your life.
This type of thinking destroys many people. Such a mental illusion can drive yourself crazy. You shouldn't fall into this unhealthy trap.
Perhaps many men, like young ladies, resonate to think so about their ex. But this does not in any way close your questions about how to stop loving a girl you love very much.
Social programming strongly promotes this kind of thinking. About him .
But this is not normal!
How to resolve the issue?
- Get rid of this type of thinking. Otherwise, you will always have an unhealthy relationship.
- You need to realize that you yourself, your attachments - this is the goal in your life.
- Change your focus to something else that makes your life more meaningful. For example, your career, hobby, self-development.
- Find something that makes you passionate and passionate about the process more than your ex.
10. You may just like the “I still love” mindset and unknowingly enjoy it.
- Most people admit that all these thoughts that love is still left are just a mental illusion.
Deep down, they are aware of this. - And people just secretly get pleasure from such thinking and do not want to part with these thoughts themselves.
They just like it, and then they don't know what to do if they stop loving you. - “Yes, I like to think so. I feel good when my mind is filled with such thoughts, ”that is the mistake.
Admit it to yourself!
As already written, you yourself can come up with and complement the image of a person and consider him what he really is.
We also have another article with 12 methods on the topic of being, or a former loved one, under the link.
11. Do not communicate with others in the same manner as you did with your former love, who has not loved you for a long time.
Don't project the same vibes, flirting, and emotions as you do with your ex when interacting with other people of the opposite sex.
Otherwise, you will emotionally cling to and look for a former passion in other people.
It will be harder for you to forget the old relationship, you will cling to what has already ended.
If a wife has stopped loving her husband, and he continues to look for someone similar to her among others, then other women, when communicating with him, will feel that something is wrong, and he imposes on them a completely different frame.
About this and other ways to erase from the memory of former lovers, we.
Do not make these mistakes, and you will close your questions about how to stop loving your wife, who has not loved you for a long time.
12. Do not be afraid to start from scratch, trust and believe in yourself
- One of the reasons why you keep loving someone you divorced is because you don't believe in yourself and you don't believe in what you can find better.
You do not believe that you can experience emotions even stronger and better than these with a new person. - This is desperate: “You only have one other half. You only have one true love. If you broke up, that's all. "
- Get rid of this thinking! Otherwise, each parting will be difficult for you, you will have the same hurdy-gurdy repeated. The mind will play with you, they say: “No, you will not find such a close person. It was that real yours, blah blah blah. "
- You must have faith that you can build new relationships that are even better than this.
- Don't be afraid to start from scratch! Do not be afraid to start over to get rid of troubling problems and not need any prayers, magic or conspiracies on the topic of how to stop loving someone quickly. This is all unnecessary.
13. Understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships.
It's still okay to develop and be in a relationship with someone and take care of them. But you still need to be aware of the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one.
As mentioned above, unhealthy relationships are when you are crazy about it, start with the thinking of lack and need.
This leads to terrible relationships and, as a result, to terrible breakups and depression. There are 15 ways you can get rid of depression.
This is the beginning of all the worries about how to stop loving a husband who does not love you, and other worries.
You can also talk about the psychology of the relationship between a guy and a girl.
What's the difference?
- A healthy relationship is when, for example, a woman realizes that yes, there are some men for whom she has more attraction and chemistry than others. They are 100%. But there are a lot of such men! And there are not so few of them as it might seem.
- The difference is that when you build a relationship, you realize that it takes a very long time to get to know a person, and you don't cling to him right away, you don't add illusions to his image.
- You enjoy the fact that you get to know each other, care for each other, communicate, but you do not fall into thinking that there are “few” and do not cling.
- What type of men to choose for a woman, and what type of girls for a guy is a personal choice of each person.
- But make sure that there is a relaxed communication between you, where there is freedom and space for growth, and no one goes crazy over someone. Keep track of this, and you will not find yourself in situations where you do not know what to do if the girl says that she has fallen out of love and left you.
14. Accept that everything in this world is temporary.
- Your object of adoration can always change.... You need to understand the fact that months, years fly, a person can change.
He cannot remain the same person all the time. You yourself change over the course of your life. - It's the same with life... Everything in life is temporary and changes.
There is nothing that remains the same. Everything has the end. - People dislike and resist it... People don't like this and they don't want to be aware of the fact that they can control everything. They cling to moments, to people.
- If you keep clinging, you will continue to lose and experience heaviness and bitterness.
If you have already succeeded in finding yourself a good person, then you will succeed as well again. - There is no reason why you cannot create new strong relationships.
Accept your journey of life as it is. Thus, you will no longer need any psychological methods in order to force yourself to stop loving a person.
15. Find only pluses in the gap
No matter what negative happens to you, no matter what break in relations with you happens, you always have 2 choices:
- Or fall into the type of thinking of the victim, be sad that you are now alone, "I was abandoned - my God."
- Or find a reason to wake up in this, find motivation, be a whole and self-sufficient person and grow with a new goal.
Interpret everything that happened in your favor.
Write down a list of reasons why you feel cool without your ex. This is one of the techniques in psychology on the topic of how you can stop loving a person.
Examples of the pros in parting
- After the breakup, you start looking at the world with your own eyes.
- You learn to deal with your emotions.
- You have a surge of energy to bounce back and move away from the gap.
16. Stop comparing everyone to your ex.
Realize that each person is unique in their own way.
If you look at other ladies by the criteria of a former crush, you will endlessly reinforce the "she is the only" mindset and never get rid of it.
Thus, the young man will continue to sweat about how to stop loving a girl quickly.
Never compare girls or guys according to the criteria and characteristics of your ex.
Tell yourself, “It was an interesting experience in my life. Let's now accept and study the uniqueness of other people. "
17. Realizing the Difference Between Love and Attachment
- Loving someone does not mean owning and needing them.
If you love because you are in need, then you DO NOT love the person, but what he gives you. - Total love is total and all-embracing, which embraces all people, not just two.
Affection fences two people off from others, builds walls around them. - Love does not set any conditions or ultimatums.
Attachment constantly sets limits and rules. - Love allows a person to be himself.
Affection requires meeting a partner's expectations.
That's all. Pay particular attention to written analysis and written answers to questions.
Now you know all the techniques on the topic of how you can stop loving a girl, ex-spouse or wife, living with her for a long period of suffering and reaching a break point.
Words of wisdom
Only what is built can be destroyed.
Don't build beliefs and you cannot be broken.
Don't build a relationship, and your relationship cannot be destroyed.
Do not set boundaries and conditions, and then you will not have jealousy and fear of loneliness.
Every woman at least once in her life fell madly in love. It's good when feelings are mutual, but if not? When you are answered with indifference, life can easily turn into a real nightmare. If this state of affairs does not suit you, and you are wondering how to forget the guy you love very much, then you are on the right track.
Was there love?
In principle, it does not matter whether you had a relationship with the object of your adoration, he abandoned you, or may not even know about your existence. The main thing is that feelings for him bring you suffering.
The question of how to forget a guy you love very much is difficult to answer unequivocally. Often people, especially women, have a wild imagination and wishful thinking. Try to understand yourself. If you have just experienced a breakup, then it is unlikely that you will be able to adequately assess the situation. Wait a couple of weeks, then emotions will calm down a little in the soul, and maybe you won't need to find out anything. If not, then try to honestly answer yourself the following questions: did you have similar feelings for someone else, maybe you are just an amorous nature who immediately rushes into the pool with his head? This intensity of passions naturally fades away quickly. So is it worth immediately labeling every guy you like with a "sweetheart" label? Passion is only a prerequisite for love, it does not always develop into a high feeling. Therefore, before you say “I want to stop loving a guy,” think, do you really love him?
Under what circumstances did you start dating? It is possible that before meeting this guy you were lonely for a long time, so you threw yourself on his neck out of fear of being alone. Or maybe he has a great sense of humor, and he made you laugh when you were in a bad mood? You don't have to be in love to have a good time together.
How long have you been together? In less than six months of a relationship, it is hardly possible to determine with certainty whether you really love a man or not. Even if you love, then rejoice that everything has happened now, when you are not "overgrown" with responsibilities, children and loans. This means that life has prepared a much better option for you.
As a rule, more than 70% of girls after a while understand that they felt sympathy, passion, sports interest, but not love. And for them, the question of how to forget the guy you love very much will no longer be relevant.
And if this is love?
When you are certain that you have the deepest feelings for a certain person, things are a little worse. But still not entirely hopeless. What to do in this case, Psychologist's advice often states that the first thing you need to do is stop thinking about your beloved.
No matter how trite it may sound, your suffering lives only in your head, respectively, the less you think about the guy, the better you will feel. Of course, it’s difficult to stop thinking about him. Take your time, fill the void in your soul with the activity that you like best. Then the problem of how to forget the guy you love very much will disappear by itself.
Finally, we want to say that it is impossible to completely forget your beloved, but you can change your attitude towards him, and most importantly, towards yourself. Love yourself, and now let men think how to forget about you.