"Business conflict is a discussion of the problem. Psychological conflict is discussed by personalities. The psychological conflict goes to mutual destruction, while business solves the problem and brings closer to partners "(M. Litvak).
Whatever peaceful people were, in his life there is always a place to conflict. They happen to everyday life, at work, accidentally and deliberately, and do not always end in the way I would like. After a sudden controversial situation, almost everyone scrolles her in the head and finds incorrect words, an irregular reaction to the aggressiveness of the opponent. "We had to say so to speak, it was necessary to turn the conversation in such a row ..."
How to actually do? How to choose the right line of behavior, correctly escape from the conflict and send it to a positive side?
Thunder and lightning or light marine breeze: how to manage conflict
Specialists are conflicted that the conflict is easiest to prevent at the stage of its origin, at the very beginning of the dialogue. At this stage, you need to spend a quick analysis of the current situation, defining important points for yourself: its goals, reasons and a possible result. Not every open dispute reflects the struggle for the truth. Contradictions can be caused by a long-standing offense, open dislike, rejection of something. The conflict can be used as a way to humiliate a person in whose eyes or become a peculiar "tunnel" to release negative emotions - anger, anger, irritation. It is necessary to evaluate the opponent to find out what kind of person you have to argue:
- Uncertain opponent will try to stay "afloat" in the dispute. His positions: nor yes nor no. Own rightness is not denied, the principles are sluggish, the goals are hidden, but the conflict is stubbornly not exhausted.
- A confident interlocutor will give persistent rebuff, join the verbal versions and persistently lead a dispute in a convenient direction for himself.
- The dispute with a non-smooth, stubborn or unbalanced person is considered one of the most difficult. The situation is difficult right, as it is built on emotions and is not based on common sense. The style of the behavior of such a person is intentionally aggressive, hostile, easily transforming in open insults and even a hands-preposition. If it is impossible to resist morally, such people are inclined to the only weapon - physical strength.
- Intelligently uneducated, but the powerful sense of power is also an unsuccessful opponent. The purpose of his conflict is reduced to an open show "Who is the main one here", and not to the wake of paths aimed in favor of the case.
- A conflict with a decent, adequate opponent is one of the best options for an effective dispute. The opponent acts constructively - seeks to solve the conflict, shows an excerpt, composure, aims to find a solution to the problem. It is open, laconic and attentive to the opponent. In the dialogue, he tries not only to see the problem and find ways to solve it. High intelligence and ability to properly keep a dispute allow it to resolve the conflict in such a way as not to insult the opponent, but to concentrate on the problem and come to a mutually correct solution.
Intersection of interest: how to solve conflicts
Analysis of the situation and person will help to correctly perceive the conflict, choose the faithful "points of contact". Carefully assessing the current situation, you can correctly select a behavior strategy to resolve or deposit the dispute. The outcome of the situation primarily depends on the position you have chosen in response to provocation.
The most positive options in resolving conflict situations are:
- Compromise (conflict is based on concessions of both opponents)
- Consensus (dispute leads to mutual satisfaction of rivals)
To choose the right tactics, do not be afraid to take a pause - especially if the conflict has begun unexpectedly. Let the interlocutor opens the essence and goals of an unpleasant conversation. You mean, meanwhile, determine the right way - a strategy that will help you get out of the fight "without loss."
"Do not try to sell a person through the wall in his mind, better change the picture of the world" (.
1. Hold a blow. Strategy "Rivalry"
This option involves open entry into dialogue, persistent advocate for its position. The strategy is suitable if the solution of conflict situations is important for both opponents and requires an immediate response. The main danger of this strategy is to enter into a fundamental and open, you always have a risk to stay with nothing to lose.
2. I will postpone on "later." Conflict evasion strategy
This behavior model involves evasion from an unpleasant situation, bypassing the causes of its occurrence. The strategy can be applied when the solution to the problem can be postponed and return to it through time.
3. Passing of flights. Strategy "Cooperation"
Designed to overcome prolonged misunderstandings, problems. This is the most honest and direct way to solve the problem, both opponents participate in equal rights strategy. Applying this tactics, opponents come to joint conclusions that satisfy both sides.
4. Mutual Convention. Compromise Strategy
This option of resolution of the dispute is suitable in the event of the impossibility of performing the conditions of both sides, and the only correct option is to go to mutual concessions. Thus, there is a settlement of disagreements, adjusting starting goals, the result of conflict - reconciliation with each other's positions to avoid full collapse of relationships.
5. Forced transformation. Strategy "Device"
The behavior tactics of one of the opponents is radically modified. He changes his position for smoothing the conflict, coming to his principles. Visually it looks like you have come to the beliefs of the opponent. But your goal is to get out of the conflict, keeping good relationships, as well as win time to think about a new solution to solve the problem.
The sage avoids extremes: conflict management
In order to adequately get out of an unpleasant, controversial situation, first of all you need to know how to behave in a conflict situation. "Golden" rules that help in 99% of cases - to maintain peace of mind and sound logic, not to succumb to emotions, resist the provocations of the opponent and enjoy effective psychological techniques.
How to manage the conflict situation that has arisen between you and partner?
Follow flat techniques:
- Let the partner "release steam". Listen to his demands safely, without interrupting and without commenting. This will lead to a decrease in internal and external stress, and then the question can be solved in a calm bed.
- Offer to justify his position. After an emotional discharge, a person is more inclined to solve the problem in a relaxed format and is ready for a dialogue. However, during the rationale for complaints, do not let the opponent again move to the side of emotionality, directing it to intellectual conclusions.
- Act non-standard. Management of conflict situations depends on your ability to completely change the direction of the conversation. In response to a complaint, remind the partner about the good moments of your cooperation, in an unexpected place express our sincere admiration for the person. You can discharge the situation with a good, "bearded" anecdote - why not?
- Pay attention to your feelings without affecting the negative sides of the situation. For example, you can say: "I am upset by our entire dispute, I am very upset." With this reception, you remind you of the opponent that the conflict affects you two, and you have your own point of view regarding the current situation.
- Disassemble the essence of the dispute. Try to jointly formulate the problem and the expected result of the conflict. An interesting fact, but partners in different angles see the problem, and to achieve common "points", a mutual, identical understanding of the essence is necessary. "Sometimes you should go with a person in his picture of the world, until he himself will not be obvious that he went into a dead end" (Vladimir Tarasov).
- Show maximum respect. Allow the opportunity to save your face an angry partner. Evaluate actions and do not go to personality.
- Treat attention. During a tense dialogue, ask the opponent his point of view, find out its attitude towards the identified problem. Attentive, the correct questions will emphasize your non-equilibrium to person as a person and downgrade aggression.
- Keep confident, worthy. Even if the opponent increases the tone, do not pass. In case you really feel guilty, apologize. Remember - apology is a sign of maturity, wisdom, strength, not weakness.
Categorical taboo: how to solve conflict situations
The best outcome of the controversial situation for both rivals is to preserve good relationships and setting a problem for a general "denominator." It is important to show the opponent that you are configured friendly, want to help and understand his position. However, there are "pain points" that are not recommended to affect, as the conflict management can exit from under control.
It is prohibited during conflict:
- Give a critical assessment of the opponent
- Influence its "weak points"
- Demonstrate superiority over rival
- Blame the opponent
- Go to elevated tones
- Make solely your vision of the problem
- Ignore the interests of the interlocutor
Any conflict can be approached constructively, learning from the dialogue. In the dispute, you are given the opportunity to analyze the situation, find out the objectives of the opponent. In order for an unpleasant dialogue to be useful, and not destructive, it is important to consciously approach its permission.
You must know exactly for what purpose you are conflict and be able to predict the likely summary of the conversation. But the most important thing is to keep calm and calm coolness, so as not to miss control over the situation. In the opposite case, a slightly breeze of a minor problem can turn into a destructive hurricane of global proceedings.
Conflict Management Technology: Vladimir Tarasova Methods
Vladimir Tarasov is the author of the unique training technology "Management Duel". The open confrontation strategy is reduced to the dialogue of two opponents in a conflict situation, which can occur between business partners, friends, managers, in the family and at work. The technology helps to prepare for an unexpected conflict, learn effective techniques with which you can control the dispute.
Management fights are designed to ensure that each opponent can be in "artificially" created conflict situations, understand its essence and learn to adequately leave it. The technique helps to develop inner readiness for an unexpected dispute, overcome the fear and understand their mistakes that block consciousness and do not give to choose the obvious way to solve the problem.
The technology of the fights is disclosed in the book of Vladimir Tarasov "". You can learn from the author's courses of Vladimir Tarasov's unique conflict management techniques and "to sign up for which you can now.
Conflict situations - the inevitable component of our life.
It happens that our interests disagree with the interests of other people, and this is normal. Conflicts can happen at work and at home, with close and unfamiliar people. To get out of a conflict situation with dignity and diplomatically solve the conflict with the smallest loss - this is a skill that can be developed.
How to get out of a conflict situation?
1. Determine the subject of conflict.
It is very important that the parties to the conflict understand what is being discussed. The subject of the conflict is what interests for all its participants.
For example, you want to go on vacation to the country, and your wife prefers rest in Sochi. That is, we are talking about a particular direction of the joint vacation. If you deviate from the subject, the conflict will grow and affect other parties to life: the dispute will go about respect and confidence in the family, the remembrance and transfer of all previous sins will begin, a turn of the discussion of each other's relatives, etc. will begin. etc. - So from a small disagreement is born a large scandal, which can be avoided, focusing on a specific topic.
2. Do not go to personality.
Yes, in the state of anger it may seem that you are surrounded by stupid, short-sighted people, but these are not the thoughts that will help you solve the conflict. It is not necessary to descend to comments in the spirit of "all the women of the fool" or "the sense of you, like a goat of milk." Do not insult human dignity, if you do not want to get the enemy in the face of a loved one, refrain from comments on age, gender, race, physical set. Focus on the subject of conflict.
3. It is to be involved in the conflict with all your being.
If your hands are shaking in a conflict situation, you go to a cry and lose control over yourself - you have less chances to solve the situation with the maximum benefit, without moving other people's borders. Pay attention to the condition of your body and mind. In the end, this is just one of the many life situations, you should not waste your health and nerves on the struggle with those with whom a dialogue is possible.
4. Find the most reasonable way to get out of the conflict.
Psychologists allocate five ways to get out of the conflict, and, depending on the situation, you can use the most suitable:
- rivalry.
One of the most common ways when each opponent defends its point of view. This method is appropriate if the life and health of other people depends on your solution. For example, if the wife decided to go on vacation there, where it is not safe now, it makes sense to insist on another version. Or if the Company's position and many people depends on your responsible decision in business.
- Device.
One of the participants fully accepts the conditions of the second. This method has two sides: the first is wisdom when harmony and calm is more important than victory in a small conflict. For example, you do not like the idea of \u200b\u200bbuying a golden tea room for 12 persons, but your elderly mother dreamed of such a life. Buying this service will bring it much more happiness than you inconvenience, so in this case it may be easier and yielding.
The reverse side of this method is in the influx of your will. The device is in the habit, and over the years it becomes more difficult for you to express your own opinion. If in a relationship with some person you constantly have to adapt to his desires to avoid scandal, most likely, these relationships are toxic for you.
- Compromise.
This method resembles the purchase process on the Eastern Bazaar: First you are called an overwhelmed amount, but you are traded until the price suggests you and the seller. The compromise is considered to be a reliable way to solve the conflict, but it should be borne in mind that with a rare exception, none of the parties get complete satisfaction. Good, strong relationships do not build on a constant compromise.
- Care.
Unauthorized removal from the conflict, without attempts to solve it. This method is suitable in small and minor situations, especially unfamiliar people. Do not be involved in the conflict with an uncompatible person, who is just looking for, who would need to go.
To solve important strategic issues, this is one of the worst ways. If you regularly practice care from the conflict with the second half, it will inevitably lead to the accumulation of discontent. It is also worth paying attention to the quality of your relationship if your loved one chooses a conflict care as the only way to solve the problem.
- cooperation.
One of the best ways to solve the conflict. A variant in which the interests of all parties will be taken into account. It will take time and creativity, but with due diligence there is a solution that suits everyone. You just need to rise above the conflict and look at the situation on the part.
5. Make conclusions.
It happens that people live frequent conflicts for the same topic. The conflict situation brings a lot of benefit: it helps to better learn another person, identify painful topics, build personal borders. Not all things in a relationship can be endured, and conflict situations will help reveal important topics.
Watch the situation, draw conclusions from conflicts, and they will no longer repeat.
I wish you the world
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In the first part: "" It was said that, as a result, conflicts arise most often. In this part of Nina Rubashtein and Oksana Teste consider successful ways out of a conflict situation, which is generated by someone else's criticism. So, how to get out of the conflict situation quickly and adequate:
It is important to remember that the most popular way to inflate the conflict is mutual criticism. Many believe that criticism is a very useful thing. However, not every criticism is useful. 99% of the criticism that we hear and issue daily is a degrading criticism. It brings tremendous harm not only relationships, but also to the health of people. Criticism causes a stressful state, the long experience of which leads to psychosomatics: psoriasis, ulcers, asthma, hypertension, gynecological and other diseases. It hurts human feelings and is also painful as physical insults. It destroys the dignity of the person and can lead to suicide.
The atmosphere of constant criticism leads to emotional injury, deprives self-esteem and gives rise to the thought of inferiority, and it is transferred to all areas of life of any person. The rude word is insulting, ridicule is humiliating. If teaching and criticism comes from people who have power over you, you become helpless, can not make decisions. The verbal and emotional punishment leads to a decrease in self-esteem, the emergence of a feeling of anxiety, can prevent the development of a feeling of respect for other people like a child or a teenager. So in an adult.
Therefore, let's deal with what criticism happens and how to distinguish useful from the unpleasant. There are three types of criticism:
- Fully unjust;
- Partially fair;
- Fair criticism.
TO fully unfair Critics include insults. As a rule, the person insulting is under the influence of emotions. Therefore, it is necessary to calm it, try to make sure that the person can move away from emotions and began to reason. It is necessary to calmly and kindly ask a criticizing a few questions so that he moves away from insults to specific comments.
Clarifying questions: "What exactly do you mean?", "What do you mean by that?". Very often criticizing it is difficult to stop and formulate a specific remark. It can answer your question next phrase: "You yourself know perfectly, what I'm talking about." In this case, continue to patiently ask the following questions.
Actual questions: "Please, please, facts", "give examples", "What, where, when?". If you do not get the specific formulation of the comments on these questions, and hear about the following: "Very much facts", "examples - even debt", then proceed to the next type of questions.
Alternative questions: "You don't like it, that's it?". That is, you help criticism to formulate specific comments. In this case, most likely, he will already be able to correctly indicate your specific words or deeds that caused his discontent. For example: "You are late today for 5 minutes," or "You've called the Great Visitor yesterday." If you hear concrete and fair comments, please accept them and ask the latest type of questions.
Devastating questions: "You don't like how I make reports, how do I talk on the phone and how can I wear? What else don't you like? " That is, list all the comments and ask whether it is not yet. These questions are needed so that the critic laid out at once anything is dissatisfied. And longer you did not stick to you. If he adds a remark: "I also don't like what you are late", then readily take note and it.
This reference method is the most difficult, but the criticism was formulated in the most unfair form. Perhaps your lead questions specified by a calm and benevolent tone will cause surprise and even irritation of criticism. So it should be. This means that he felt your superiority in this situation. He was accustomed to miserable excuses, counterattacks or submissive silence, and you are calmly trying to figure out, taking note of specific and fair comments. In hencefight, he will criticize you specifically or at all at the time of irritation will bypass you - "Takes Cogging" about someone else.
Now let's talk about partially fair Criticizes - in this way most often criticized your habits, to dress, character or express your opinion (have a full right!).
For example: "Alternatively you are late (argue, talk nonsense, etc.)!", Or "love you to make fun on others (sleep, gloom, etc.)!", Or "You behave badly (dressed, say , Write, etc.)! ". Obviously, the critic indicates a certain disadvantage, but still generalizes the area of \u200b\u200bcriticism. It is impossible to fully recognize such a remark, but there is a fair part in it. And all that rightly should be recognized.
There are three ways to make a partially criticism of a decent response:
The first way. Recognize only a fair part of criticism, and do not react to the rest. Start the answer necessarily with "Yes." Always, recognizing anything, you should first say this is a magical word to calm the interlocutor, to arrange it to yourself and demonstrate my readiness for mutual understanding. For example, you were told: "Eternally you are late." A decent answer: "Yes, today I was late."
Second way Use when they do not even agree with part of criticism. For example, you are told: "You have bad manners" or "you are badly dressed." And you think it does not correspond to reality. But the critic has the right and think so. Admit this is his right, start again with "yes": "Yes, not everyone likes my manners."
Third way A decent response to partially fair criticism is to translate criticism into dignity. This is "aerobatics" in the art of communication. For example, you hear to your address: "You love to chat." Start again with "yes": "Yes, nice to talk to smart people."
Third Type of Critics - fully fair. This is a specific criticism. You indicate your words or act, emphasizing. What did you say or did something, violating agreements.
For example, you say: "We agreed that you will come at five, and you came to six," or "You promised to cook a borsch and didn't cook", or "this shirt you stroked not completely", or "You scribbled" . Immediately admit the justice of critics, start again with "yes": "Yes, you are right" or: "Yes, that's the way, but I regret it." Many talk at the same time: "Sorry me." We do not advise you to apologize to apologize if there is no particular need. Apologizing man looks insecure. Answers "Sorry" or "I regret it" is quite sufficient to smooth the impression of perfect actions.
In any case, to resolve the conflict, the ability to negotiate not only during or after conflict, but also much earlier. As soon as you come into contact, be it working relationships, friendship or family creation, it is very important to immediately build the main milestones of your relationship. And play according to the rules!
Familiarize yourself with other books Gestalt therapist, Coach, coach MiGIP Nina Rubestein can be found on Rubstein.ru
The rapid pace of our life and the associated universal nervousness contributes to the fact that the most harmless conflict situation is inflated to huge sizes. Sometimes it seems that people are surrounded by people who specifically cause irritation. Conflict situations may arise anywhere: in transport, in the family, in the store, at work. And the reasons for one may be many: discontent with something, bad mood, criticism in your address and so on. If you do nothing to get out of the conflict situation, it may threaten the nervous breakdown. What to do in this case? Let's try to figure out.
Emotions under control.
To avoid conflict situations, it is not necessary to avoid meetings with people, and it is hardly possible. Attempts to self-suck, that all this does not touch you, too, only pound emotions inside, threatening with serious diseases. Also, you should not blame others in your troubles. The most effective way without losses to leave conflicts will be the ability to tell people about what you are unhappy, but at the same time not to go out. It is rather difficult if you are suppressed with something, or you are experiencing an extreme degree of irritation, or feel guilty. First of all, you need to evaluate your feelings that prevailed you. It is difficult, but perhaps. It is very important to prevent the situation when they completely come out of control and overcome them as soon as they arose. Otherwise, it will not work out of the conflict without loss.
How to get out of a conflict situation.
1. Let the opponent and the time "release steam". While he is in an aggressive condition, when irritation boils in it, and negative emotions are overwhelmed, it is difficult to conduct a constructive dialogue. You cannot come to the general denominator. Your task to help him quickly remove the internal tension. When the opponent is in such a border state to get out of the conflict, first you should remember that you have to keep calm, at least externally, keep confidently, but it is important not to "strain a stick" so that your confidence does not look high. There is a good way that psychologists advise - imagine that you are in a certain spherical shell, through which the negative emotions of the interlocutor do not penetrate. If you have developed imagination, it will definitely work. In addition to the method of autotraining, it is important to try not to accumulate a state of resentment, otherwise nothing will work. Tune in to the opponent's wave, try to look at the situation with his eyes, so it will be easier for you to understand what it was so "undermined." To get out of the conflict, watch the interlocutor carefully, note for yourself the expression of his face, facial expressions, gestures, try this on yourself and imagine what you would do in such a situation.
2. Will an opponent to speak out. When he says everything that boiled, the aggressive charge comes to no and it will be easier to negotiate. Naturally, to get out of a conflict situation, you must listen to a person carefully, and not just pretend what you listen to.
3. The element of surprise is an effective agent against aggression. A person who is in a state of irritation as a result of the conflict with you, expects you to answer him in the same vein, that is, you will begin to scream, annoyed or, on the contrary, you will be afraid and recognize your wrong. Surprise him, the behavior not as he would like. Try to return to the opponent His offensive statement, but giving it a polite uniform, without losing composure. Sometimes it helps to get out of the conflict immediately, since your interlocutor will feel that he is interested in you, and you will find out that it is so angry. There are other techniques of an unexpected reaction to aggression: 1) you can ask for advice from one who craves conflict; 2) Translate the topic to what does not concern conflict, but interesting for him; 3) recall the pleasant moments in your total past; 4) make a disarming compliment, like "When you are angry, you are so beautiful"; 5) Show sympathy in connection with the conflict situation. This will help your opponent switch from negative emotions to positive.
4. Try to convey to the opponent your impression from his words, about what state you are because of them. It is necessary to do it directly and sincerely, but do not comment on his personality, but speak only about your feelings. If you bring a specific example, it looks like, so: instead of "you are a non-public person", tell me "I am very unpleasant to hear such from you." Or instead of "you lie to me" - "It's a shame when they are cheating."
5. Will the opponent save the dignity. In a conflict situation, it is impossible to give will to his emotions and respond aggressively into the oncoming aggression. If you still have to go to personality, then your interlocutor will never forgive it, even if the conflict is exhausted and he will give way to you. On the contrary, try to convey to him that you respect him feel that his opinion is important for you. But you can directly show your attitude towards his actions and, in particular, that created a conflict situation. For example, you can say: "You promised several times, but did not" instead of calling it an optional person.
6. Only arguments and facts, no emotional deviations. Both people who fell into a conflict situation should justify their point of view. Tell your opponent immediately that you will take into account only the facts and evidence. Any manifestation of emotions, block the question: "Are your guesses or facts?".
7. Adjust to keep in the position "on equal". Most often, in conflicts, people behave in two schemes: screaming in response or silent, fearing the anger of the opponent. Both schemes are ineffective. It will be more correct to keep confidently and calmly, it will help both opponents to resist in the framework of decency and avoid aggression.
8. Do not be shy to ask for forgiveness, if you know that it is not right. We must be able to recognize your mistake in time, and to offer an opponent to make out of conflict situations. First, such a step is always disarming, and, secondly, it causes respect for the enemy. To apologize and recognize the wrong forces only those who are confident to themselves.
9. The joke also helps to get out of the conflict, repay the attack of aggression. Just do not confuse good humor and irony.
10. Adjust to find the points of contact with the opponent, emphasize your proximity. And what you would like to get out of the conflict situation.
11.Prip the opponent to tell how he sees the final result and that prevents it from achieving it, that is, the problem. The problem is the task that it is necessary to solve, and relationships are the conditions in which it will have to be solved. If you negatively treat a person, it can beat off any desire to do something. To exit conflict situations, you need to determine the task together and focus on its solution.
12. Try to explain to the opponent your point of view on the conflict and how you see a way out of it. Just do not look for the guilt and "chew" the situation, just look for an output. Solutions for exit can be much and you have to choose the best. But this option should arrange both conflicting parties. There should be no losers and winners. If it is impossible to come to the general opinion, it is possible to rely on an objective measure (laws, regulations, instructions, and so on).
13. Measuring his claims, even if everything is clear to you, clarify "Whether I understood you correctly", "Let me repeat that you said to believe that I understood you right", etc. This is a very useful practice to exit Conflict situation, it helps to avoid misunderstandings and shows that you are a careful interlocutor, which reduces opponent's aggression.
14. Do not try to prove anything to anyone. In conflict situations, this is a useless occupation. Emotions completely block the mind. And if a person has lost the ability to think at the moment, then your evidence will not be killed.
15. Calm first. It helps well, in case you, against your will, have already been drawn into conflict. It is not necessary to demand in anger to silence the opponent, it is better to silence yourself. Your silence will serve out of conflict situations. After all, the quarrel is involved at least two, and if one is silent, then there are no quarrels. Silence silence Maine. It may have a challenge or mockery, then it will be for the enemy, like a red rag for a bull. You must silence as if you do not notice the aggressiveness of the interlocutor and do not see a conflict situation.
16. Do not slap the door. Coming out calmly from the room, you can stop the conflict. But if you are before you leave throw offensive words to the opponent and slap the door, it can give an impetus to destructive strength. Up to tragic situations.
17. Conduct the conversation after the opponent passed the fan. Your silence or care, he can take over the surrender, however, it is not necessary to reason. It is necessary to withstand the pause until his dust cools. But, refusing to extend the conflict situation, you should not have a disadvantage or an insult to the interlocutor. After all, it is much more profitable to the one who can extinguish the quarrel in the bud, and not the one who reserves the last aggressive lunge.
18. And the last rule. It doesn't matter what the conflict situation ended, or no contradiction remains, try to save your relationship. If you succeed, yes, even at the same time, your opponent has not dropped according to your fault of one's own dignity, then in the future it will be resolved all this, and the relationship will become good again.