Unfortunately, quite often in the workplace there is a situation where a simple employee is forced to listen to the director's strict remarks addressed to him. Conflicts happen systematically and arise for any reason. It seems that the leader is annoyed by the mere presence of a subordinate. Sometimes his caustic comments appear from scratch for no apparent reason and look like nitpicking. Many office workers for years they endure insults from the boss and are in no hurry to somehow change the situation. Some seem futile to defend their interests, others frankly fear the occurrence of adverse consequences in the future. What to do when you see that the boss is looking for an excuse to hurt you? How to behave?
Reasons for nitpicking
This is the first thing to find out. In some cases, you can ask a person in plain text why is he so attentive to your person? Perhaps you are just annoying him as a person. If it turns out that he is dissatisfied with the work you are doing, ask him to justify his answer. Let him back it up with real facts. But not all directors and managers will want to speak frankly. In this case, watch it for a few days and much of what was not noticed before will now become clear. You can answer your own question: why did he choose you as a target for venting anger and irritation.
Negative emotions tend to gradually accumulate and spoil a person's life. Something needs to be done to change the situation. Love yourself and do not allow yourself to be undeservedly offended. Remember: no one will take care of you if you don't do it yourself. At work, the situation is quite common when directors are dissatisfied with the work of their subordinates. Such discontent can eventually turn into constant quarrels and resentments. Such behavior immediately affects the productivity of labor and the entire team. Do your best to understand real reasons nit-picking in your address and correct this situation.
Analysis of your activities
Quite often it happens that a person, being at the workplace, does not notice his mistakes and mistakes. Sometimes we tend to overestimate our efforts. Especially when we are working on unloved job. Doing what we do not like, we inevitably doom ourselves to painful torment and suffering. Think about whether this is really the activity that you always wanted to do? Have you turned into an office slave who obeys all the orders of the boss, but has absolutely no ambitions of his own? Have you ended up becoming a downtrodden and boring creature?
To understand whether the attitude of the director is fair or not, it is necessary to carefully analyze the work and your approach to it. Perhaps you belong to those employees who like to spend a long time in the “smoking room” or linger significantly after lunch? Please reconsider your own attitude to work, and then much will become clear to you. Strange as it may seem, sometimes the leader's reproaches are the most just. Become a model of responsibility, do everything that is entrusted to you in advance.
Admitting mistakes
If you find your faults, have the courage to admit them. You don't have to keep doing the same. This does not mean that you should immediately run to report to your boss about your thoughts, just try not to make such mistakes again. Make a definite decision for yourself and follow the set goal. Remember that failures and blunders can only be recognized for real. strong people. Be open to change, strictly follow the tasks that you yourself have identified. Chief, if smart man, be sure to pay attention to the changes that have occurred. Enthusiasm in work is immediately visible and felt at a distance. Don't need to do anything special, just reconsider work time and what you spend it on.
Showdown
If the boss finds fault seriously, then for a comfortable existence in the team it is necessary to thoroughly understand the situation. Sometimes the leader and the subordinate do not understand each other so much that they do not even want to hear about trying to understand the motives of other people's actions. It is worth going to the boss in the office and try to find out what exactly he is dissatisfied with. Let me justify my answer. If he manages to do this, then you will be able to continue to behave much more confidently and freely. There is nothing worse than making assumptions and constantly being stressed. Try, however, that the clarification of your relationship is not watched by the whole team. The boss will appreciate your delicacy. During the conversation, be sure to find out all the questions that interest you, try not to hurt the feelings of the leader and not provoke him into a quarrel. Otherwise, mutual understanding will not be achieved.
Search for a new job
When you have made appropriate efforts to reach agreement with your boss, but they have not brought the desired result, the only way out is to leave your current job. Really, why torture yourself? You should never tolerate rudeness, disrespectful attitude, humiliation of your personality. You never know what kind of boss it can be, this in no way justifies his harsh swear words. He just has no right to treat employees like that. A good leader will never allow himself offensive comments and statements about his subordinates, especially in the presence of strangers.
search new job should be dealt with when you have exhausted all possible ways to negotiate peacefully with the boss, if he cannot control himself, constantly breaks down and screams. You need to minimally respect your personality in order to decide on changes. Take full responsibility. Realize, finally, that you yourself are able to change a lot in life. Remember that no one can take better care of you. You can start by keeping notes in a personal diary about what is happening to you, this will help you sort out the existing problems.
Thus, there are often situations in life when subordinates have to defend their interests before superiors. Cases when the leader undeservedly finds fault and tries in every possible way to humiliate, unfortunately, are not uncommon. You need to act as honestly and openly as possible in order to understand the reasons why they do this to you. Under no circumstances allow yourself to be humiliated.
Instruction
First of all, try to be discreet. Do not try to impress your superiors with your erudition. Your first task is to take a closer look and understand all the oddities and habits of the boss, draw conclusions about the features of his character.
Try to resist the temptation to discuss your new boss with your colleagues. You have nothing to say yet, and you don’t need to, you can only listen from the outside and draw the appropriate conclusions. Otherwise, there is a risk of being left without a job.
Don't argue directly with your boss. Even when he is wrong, wrong, still remember who is the boss. If there is no way out and you need to express your opinion, you should start the conversation with the phrase: “what if ...”, “maybe it would be better ...”. This applies to all issues - from current production issues to organization corporate party.
If the boss discovered a mistake in your work and brought down all his anger on you, do not try to flare up in response. Listen to everything that is meant for you, and then calmly express your point of view.
It may happen that the boss turns out to be a tyrant and will harass you with nit-picking, you will have to invent your own way of survival. The main thing is to keep cool. Show your boss that you are willing to cooperate. Ask him for advice, at home carefully consider questions for discussion. Such a step will help disarm even the most picky person.
Perform your duties conscientiously and learn to say a firm “no” if your boss asks you to do something that is beyond their scope. You need to learn to take care of yourself. Take a look around: it is quite possible that there is already a colleague who will share his experience. After all, the essence of the boss cannot be changed, except to find a suitable strategy to get along.
Even in the case when the boss turned out to be a liberal who goes to work in sports-style clothes, offers to call himself by his first name, you still need to keep your distance. His behavior is not a reason to slap the boss on the shoulder and behave with him in a familiar way.
It is easier to work with the boss when he is a professional in his field, but not a specialist, most likely, he will try to shift all responsibilities to his subordinates and demand the maximum. If you have enough endurance, you can work together. If to find mutual language If it doesn't work, you'll have to look for a new job. Remember that life is too short to spend it in sheer hassle.
Sources:
- how to deal with a new boss
It’s good if you and your boss understand each other perfectly. And if the boss constantly finds fault with you on trifles and brings you to a nervous breakdown with his reproaches? Of course, you can change jobs, but there is no guarantee that the situation in the new place will not happen again. It is better to try to find a way out of this situation.
Instruction
Mentally prepare yourself for the fact that you will have to change the existing relationship with the leadership. The boss is not a teacher, he has no right to read to you and let you know that you are a naughty child who needs to be punished. Realize that you are both adults. Repeat these common truths to yourself daily, better standing in front of a mirror. In the end, this thought will firmly sit in your head and will support you in moments of doubt.
After making a decision, you need to let the boss know that you are ready to cooperate. Go to his office for advice, work more efficiently or what tactics to choose for doing this or that business. Consider topics in advance. If up to this point your communication has been reduced to reproaches on his part and a negative reaction to them on your part, the leader will be surprised at the change in your manner of communication. Your calm tone and confident business attitude will discourage him from finding fault with you over trifles.
Always keep a cool head when speaking with superiors. If you need to make objections, do not use the pronoun "I". Instead of the phrases “I am constantly in a state of emergency”, say “you give me an assignment at the very last moment, when there is no time left for its high-quality execution.” With such a policy, the chief will understand that you are on a strong defense and he will have to retreat.
If you need your boss's advice, be specific about your questions. Before you ask them, imagine that you are asking for help from to a stranger. This will make it easier for you to let go of the negative. And he will get the impression that they turn to him for advice as the most experienced person in this matter. This approach will improve your relationship.
The essence of the relationship between the boss and the subordinate seems to be extremely simple: the boss orders, controls and accepts the work of the subordinate, the subordinate performs the tasks given to him. But if everything were so simple, managers would not have the question “How to behave with a subordinate?”.
In the old days, few bosses bothered to build good relationships with subordinates. People worked without sleep and rest for mere pennies(slaves and serfs and completely free), and the attitude of the leadership towards them was indifferent, dismissive and often cruel.
And in our time, unfortunately, there are bosses immoral and dishonest that do not take into account the legitimate rights and interests of employees. These are the cases when "people are not considered people."
Unscrupulous employers take advantage of the fact that today many people are ready to work like slaves, “for food” or out of fear that if they are fired from an unloved and unbearable job, they will not be able to find another one (often this is not just fear, but the reality of unemployment). This is a topic that is relevant and painful for many, requiring separate consideration.
In the twentieth century, a special, "protective" function of workers began to be performed by trade unions. They were created in order to resolve conflict situations in the team and protect employees from the arbitrariness of the authorities.
Today, trade unions also function, but life in the 21st century is such that each person gets used to relying only on himself and his strength and does not place much hope that in case of trouble with his superiors, the team or trade union will help him.
Labor relations between an employee and an employer today regulated legislative acts , the main of which is Labor Code. But the law, unfortunately, is not always observed by everyone. In order for an employee to work conscientiously, and the boss to treat him with respect, it is not enough to know the laws and remember the duties described in employment contract and job description.
Nowadays, only a bad boss does not think about establishing correct, trusting, but at the same time respectful of subordination, relationships with people working under his leadership.
Management today understands that the "first violin" in the success and efficiency of the enterprise is played by the desire of the employee to work, which directly depends from relationship to superiors and immediate supervisor.
Everything large quantity employers stimulate employees not with a “stick”, but with a “carrot”.
What does it mean to be subordinate?
A modern subordinate is not an obedient slave and not a meek worker, he is a person with ambitions, needs for self-realization, respect, recognition, he is an educated and qualified professional, with high IQ and creative potential.
Despite the fact that the principle of domination and subordination reigns at the formal level, real good working relations between the boss and the subordinate are built equally.
Today, if the boss does not respect the legal rights of the employee, does not respect him and shows his personal dislike through raised voices, unconstructive criticism, insults, harassment, and so on, the employee has the right to quit. He is not obliged to stay and try to build a relationship with the boss if he does not want to.
But the boss is in a different situation. If he wants the work to go well and his subordinates to work "excellently", he must try to build good relationships with them, otherwise a constant turnover of personnel is provided to him.
It is the inability of the leader to behave competently with subordinates that creates a problem negative attitude employee to management and their work.
Incorrectly built relationships between the boss and subordinates are often main problem, although bosses tend to think that all the problems are due to the fact that their wards are lazy, stupid or incompetent.
How to command without commanding?
Both bosses and subordinates usually complain about misunderstanding and unwillingness to understand each other, but in fact the problem is rejection personality of the boss to subordinates and / or vice versa, that is, in personal antipathy and unwillingness to cooperate.
Working communication between a boss and a subordinate, roughly speaking, boils down to the fact that the first gives orders, and the second listens to them and proceeds to carry them out. Therefore, the chief, first of all, needs to learn give orders correctly.
It is much better when the leader does not force, but convinces subordinate to complete a given task. This democratic approach to management, when a subordinate feels himself not a puppet or a simple performer, but a comrade-in-arms, a confidant, a participant in a common cause.
Example:
- Coercion: "Write a report before lunch, otherwise - a reprimand."
- Belief: “Please try to write the report before lunch. Time is short, but I believe in you. If you have time, we will hand over the report faster than the rest of the departments and distinguish ourselves favorably.
- Address subordinate by name. Exists different forms address, but it’s not so important to “You” or “You”, with or without a patronymic, there is an appeal to a subordinate (everything is decided by the upbringing and intelligence of a particular person), as the very fact of a respectful, personal address to a person by name. Just "You", "He"/"She", a rude "Hey, you!" or the pejorative "That one in the gray jacket!" offends and instantly turns against.
- Communicate in a constructive or neutral-positive manner. A working conversation is not a communication between two friends or enemies, it is a business conversation of partners, it should be held on an equal footing. It is equally bad when a leader enters into too warm relations with a subordinate and when he openly expresses his dislike, endlessly unjustifiably criticizes, scolds, and scolds.
Less negativity! If you criticize, then constructively and face to face, and not in public! It is better to once again praise the employee for his efforts, even if he did something wrong, smile at him and express confidence that in next time everything will work out as it should.
Disparaging, expressing superiority or rude tone of speech, ridicule, sarcasm, insults and other verbal aggression is absolutely unacceptable.
- Speak in "understandable" language. If it is known in advance that the subordinate will not understand compound words and terms, it is better to avoid them or explain their meaning immediately after pronunciation.
- Ask questions and get advice. If the task is pronounced in interrogative form(“Can you do this work tomorrow as well?”) or as a request for advice (“What do you think, if you do this…?”), it is perceived not as an order, but as a request.
This technique is best used not too often and not with every employee. If an employee, for example, wants to take the place of his leader, he can take such generosity and loyalty for weakness and "sit on his head", and then "go over his head."
Even if a person is in his place and he likes the work, he cannot work “for thanks”. As long as money rules the world, workers will work for wages.
But the fact is that the salary, as a rule, remains the same whether the employee works, putting his soul into it, or does the work “just to get it done”.
For the organization to be successful, and the team to work as a well-established mechanism, employees need motivate both tangible and intangible. The employee must see personal gain in order for him to have interest to work, and not just a desire to somehow work out the norm and go home.
Type of authoritative leader and types of subordinates
Subordinates are more pleasant, more efficient and more willing to work with those bosses whom they respect and whose authority they recognize.
To be respected by subordinates boss, recommended become:
When the boss knows about the professional capabilities, inclinations, talents, interests of his subordinate and takes them into account, he is perceived not as a "Cerberus", but as mentor.
Although each worker is special, there is a classification types of subordinates depending on the degree of their effectiveness in work:
This is not the only classification of types of subordinates, but knowing even one classification can tell you how to find an approach to a particular employee.
Exactly ability to combine individual approach to each employee and the choice of soft, democratic methods of managing the entire team is the answer to the question of how to behave with subordinates.
- I.K. Adizes Ideal Leader. Why they cannot become and what follows from this”
- D. Sherwood “Systems thinking for managers. Business problem solving practice”
- K. Makgoff Art to manage. 46 Key Principles and Leadership Tools”
- I. Nemirovsky, I. Starozhukova “Outstanding leader. How to provide a business breakthrough and take the company to the industry leaders”
- V. Zima “Tools of a Leader”
Do you think the soft, democratic management style is the best?
If the boss finds fault, brings you with his questions and reproaches, it is, of course, difficult for you to envy. But, you need to somehow learn how to behave, if the boss finds fault, raises his voice, constantly shows discontent. Some people think that you should be quiet if your boss picks on you and gets on your nerves. But, in fact, you shouldn't do that. Moreover, psychologists believe that one should never experience service conflicts in oneself. But, nevertheless, how to behave if the boss finds fault?
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Photo gallery: How to behave if the boss finds fault?
In this article, you will find answers to basic questions and learn how to behave if the boss finds fault.
So, for that? to determine exactly how to deal with the boss, you need to find out what type he belongs to. In fact, a picky boss can be different. For example, there is a category of outright tyrants. Such a person finds fault as if he is a naughty kid who likes to test your patience. Such a boss will never stop himself. The fact is that he, in his own way, is a sadist who really loves torturing his subordinates. Therefore, you should never hope that he will stop himself. Such a person finds fault with his own pleasure and rejoices when you are angry or upset.
There are also two-faced managers who at first constantly tell you what a good worker you are, encourage and smile. And then, when you don’t expect it at all, they start blaming you for mistakes that you didn’t make or they load you with their work.
Remember that if the boss does not know how to behave adequately, then the reason for this is his own problems and complexes. Such people like to constantly control everything, follow everything, scream for no reason. Remember that, even giving a worthy rebuff to such people, you may not always be able to immediately bring the boss to his senses. In fact, it is very bad when a person who does not have the necessary professional qualities becomes a chef. In this case, the whole team suffers a lot. It often happens that subordinates of just such leaders abuse alcohol. It's just that human nerves cannot stand such an attitude and behavior of the boss.
But, be that as it may, you can fight with such people and teach them to behave correctly. So, after you have decided what type of boss yours is, mentally prepare yourself for changing your relationship with him. Remember that no matter what your boss is, he is not the only one to blame for what is happening. Every long conflict is provoked by both sides. And, on this moment, you are one of these parties. Therefore, try to understand why the boss is so prejudiced against you, chat with other colleagues. Perhaps one of them knows the right approach to your managing nutcase. Of course, this is not about flattery and “slurping”. It is better not to consider such options. But, perhaps, someone knows the features of the boss, which can be used to change his attitude.
It is also necessary to correctly adjust your behavior so that the boss understands that you are ready and want to cooperate with him. Conflict situation you are not satisfied and you are making efforts to somehow fix it. Try to talk to your boss about how you can make the most of your collaboration. Talk to him only in a friendly tone. Especially if before that you were constantly angry and cursing. The boss will be surprised by such a sharp change in your mood and attitude. And, as you know, surprised people rarely get angry.
Also, no matter what happens, always try to be calm and cool. If you are arguing with your boss, never say: "I suffer from your behavior." It is better to say: "You gave the task at the wrong time and you are to blame." Thus, the boss will understand that you are on the defensive and are not going to give up your positions. Therefore, he himself will have to start thinking about how to change the current situation and fix everything. Thus, the conflict will be resolved from two sides. And that is exactly what you need.
If you cannot solve some work issue without the help of your boss, contact him. But, you must do it in such a way that he understands: you have come to a complete stranger and you don't care what he thinks of you. Simply, in this situation, he really is the most professional adviser.
You should never act like kindergarten, try to shout down the boss or defeat him in a verbal skirmish. By this you prove only your unprofessionalism and inability to get out of conflicts in the way it should be for an adult. Instead of yelling, it's best to calm down and start speaking normally. If the boss sees your composure, he himself will shut up, because shouting alone is simply stupid.
Never endure in silence the reproaches of the boss. Each of us has friends at work, or at least good acquaintances. Here you can calmly talk with them about what does not suit you in the boss, talk about what he once again told you and what is now oppressing you. But at home, work issues are better not to discuss. The fact is that households will never understand you the way employees do, because they do not see everything with their own eyes and do not fully understand the question. Therefore, it is better to leave work questions and problems at work.
Sometimes, in extreme cases, you can ask for help from higher management. But in such cases, you need to be sure that you will not aggravate your situation and you will not be considered a gossip. Therefore, in such cases, you need to be very careful and think twice before making a decision.
But if you still can’t resolve the conflict and you feel how your performance is falling and your strength is leaving, then you can think about moving to another department or changing your job. Of course, this is the last option, but sometimes it’s better to agree to it so as not to completely break your psyche and spoil your nerves.
There are situations when a person sincerely loves his job, but is completely tired of the constant reproaches of his boss. And it is difficult to get along with him, especially if the boss is a petty tyrant. If you constantly find fault with every little thing, sooner or later it will bring out any person, and then he will definitely not want to go to work in the morning. And in order to prevent another meeting with the offender, the only desire is not to leave the house, hiding in the far corner.
And there are only two ways. The simplest one is to change jobs, the more difficult one is to approach the issue wisely and try to improve relations with higher management.
general information
According to about half of the workers in our country, the bosses are petty tyrants. At least that's what opinion polls say. And the question of how to be in such a situation, whether it is necessary to observe subordination, excites many. Indeed, very often people like their work and salary, and sometimes there is simply no choice, because there are no other similar positions and conditions in the region. Removing the boss from the post is a dream of many, but unfortunately, it is almost impossible to realize it. In this regard, it is necessary to look for methods of how to get along with such bosses, and learn to tolerate his character.
Options
Many psychologists agree on this point in one thing: there are several options for how to get along with such a person. The first is to develop patience. A person should humbly, without taking it to heart, listen to all unreasonable and often humiliating nit-picking in his direction. Despite the fact that this option seems very strange and it can only be suitable for a very patient person, most workers in our country behave this way. And maybe everything would be fine, because observing subordination is the right thing to do. But from the point of view of psychology, such a development of events can significantly affect the health of the employee. Stress will accumulate, and psychological and physical health will decline.
In this regard, psychologists recommend not only to endure, but also to take care of your health. It is important to carry out psychological and emotional unloading. Do not relieve stress with alcohol. But if the employee does not have the strength to endure and humility is clearly not his forte, then it is better to find another way.
If the boss is constantly yelling, it means that he is not confident in himself and is afraid to seem ridiculous in the eyes of others. Therefore, it should be borne in mind that such people are very afraid of publicizing their incompetence. To figure out and understand exactly what complexes and injuries provoke him to defend himself from the world means to find a weapon that will work on this person without fail. There is even a chance that he himself will leave his post. But this method is very dangerous, because any mistake is slander, and it is punishable by law. But it is best not to resort to drastic measures and decide how to communicate with the boss without offense and problems for both parties.
Choice of actions
Naturally, if every second an employee finds fault with his superiors on all sorts of trifles, the most easy way- Start looking for a new job. This method is ideal for people whose nature does not tend to fight for their rights, and those who are used to looking for easy solutions to problems.
According to the theory of probability, the tyrant boss will remain in the past, and the new leadership will be much more favorable. But if this is not the case, then it makes sense to build a competent strategy of action. The first step is to understand for what reason he screams most often, and also to determine which of his nitpicks are valid and which are not. When conducting an analysis, one should not look at the question one-sidedly; there is a possibility that the manager is quite justifiably indignant at the employee’s poor performance of his direct obligations.
hysterical boss
To build relationships with management, you first need to understand what type of personality his character belongs to. According to statistics, tantrums happen in 99% of situations in women. If they are in a state of permanent tension, it is very likely that they will take out their anger on subordinates, while maintaining affability with higher management and strangers. If this is hysteria, then it is worth acting like an armored train. Do not react. All answers should be controlled, without raising your voice and showing mutual emotions. If the nit-picking is ridiculous, it is worth arguing your opinion.
And in a situation where the authorities are trying to blame their subordinates for their own mistakes, it is best to clearly show him who is really guilty. You can also enlist the support of colleagues or management from above. In this situation, this should not be taken as betrayal or sneakiness, because the actions of a constantly humiliated employee will be fully justified.
How to find a common language
Unlike hysterics, the tyrant boss is aggressive towards everyone indiscriminately. Such people are undeniably confident in their own superiority over everyone else. Basically, these are men who have moved up the career ladder quite quickly. Their main belief is that there are only idiots around, and communicating with them is worse than torture.
If a person has to communicate with a tyrant, then initially it is necessary to behave correctly. It is necessary to show that the subordinate has enough pride, and the option that he will become completely absent. Of course, the task seems difficult, but if it is completed, then there is a high probability that in the future you will no longer have to deal with nit-picking. In addition, a person must inspire himself with the idea that he is no worse than his tyrant boss. Psychologists also recommend using fantasy, for example, imagine the boss in a pink fluffy sweater or with a trash can on his head. This will allow consciousness not to take seriously its blows to self-esteem.
If the production manager constantly finds fault
Just a nagging leadership at first glance looks more harmless than a hysterical type or petty tyrants. But the fact is that constant remarks can bring out even the most calm and balanced person. Nagging bosses will carefully control every step of their subordinates, chastising them even for a half-minute delay.
Often such people also control the time of lunch and call on a day off, without good reason or serious reasons for this. There is also a chance that he will look for flaws in work that is done perfectly. And instead of a well-deserved bonus, the employee will receive a reprimand.
How to raise a boss
You should not cringe before a nitpick and a hysterical production manager. It is worth clarifying exactly what nuances do not suit the manager, calling him to a dialogue, where he should not only explain what he sees the shortcomings in, but also suggest ways to solve the problem that has arisen.
As for calls on weekends, you can simply not pick up the phone. This is a rest time, and the authorities have no right to accuse you of not being in touch. It is also worth taking the work schedule more seriously, avoiding being late or delaying lunch time. This will lead to the fact that the boss will simply get tired of looking for reasons to blame you, and he will switch to another employee.
Conclusion
Taming bosses is not easy, but it's not really a way out. If the boss is a tyrant, what to do with it is known. You just need to improve the relationship between you. Do not grovel or bend under annoying guidance. On the contrary, for such people, those employees who show dignity and can prove their worth are important. If you fence yourself off from constant nit-picking, you can work calmly.
But globally re-educating this person is a task for his relatives. When building relationships, it is very important to make it clear to the person that you are not only ready, but also want to cooperate with him. It is your desire to resolve the conflict that will allow you to continue labor activity no problem. By recognizing the psychotype of the boss and solving this situation, you can make your life better and get rid of resentment and problems at work.