How to learn to control your emotions and manage them. How to manage emotions? It will help you make life happier

In the mood of a person laid a huge potential with which he can manage life! Reveal secrets on how to manage emotions!

The importance of emotions in a person's life!

Movement at all levels of the universe is carried out using energy. This is an evolution engine, at the expense of it new galaxies and stars are born, due to her life arises.

The human energy is emotions in which he is experiencing. The power of emotions is huge. It is the inspirational and desire for development allowed human civilization to evolve; Each person acts, based on the emotional state.

Emotions are keys to management life. If you do not know how to control emotions, a person becomes their slave, in this case the emotions becomes the source of the negative.

Any tool needs to be able to control, and the situation with emotions confirms this.

Moreover, emotions are what manages reality. Experiments with the intention, the concentration of attention in the field of quantum physics confirm the texts of the ancient sages, when the energy quanta moved to where the attention of man was directed!

With the help of a conscious use of your emotions and thoughts², you can drastically improve your life!

Simple techniques that will allow you to manage emotions!

This article describes several simple techniques using which, you will learn to manage your emotions (internal energies).

Thanks to them, you can become balanced and self-confident man. Thanks to these useful advice, management of life and circumstances will be able to you, you will not be a slave of your mood.

1. Development of awareness

Many have heard such situations as because of some, it would seem, a trifling, a small problem, a person began to behave inadequately, and this led to serious complications: the loss of a significant amount of money, damaging property, murder or other crimes.

When a man is upset, in anger, his thoughts and acts become uncontrollable, which leads to bad consequences.

How to turn back this process? It turns out that it just learns to control them. Before the uncontrolled jerk in a potentially dangerous situation, you need to think about it, and is it worth doing this: how justified such actions? Will it be even worse?

Usually such thoughts immediately cool the hot head, soothe and stop the course of negative emotions, which gives time to accept a more adequate solution.

2. Separation of the situation

It is useful to try to comprehend the situation of the situation in advance. Why make these errors and exacerbate events, if this eventually get sideways?

It is much more profitable to look at what is happening and searching for the answer: "What an act will be more profitable for me now and in the long term?"

People feel perfectly when someone knows how to control himself: it means he is confident and controls the situation. To such people stretch!

3. Selection of a circle of communication

It is of great importance. From the point of view of energy exchange, a person with close people and friends exchanges the most densely, because he trusts them. Very often, people from one circle of communication for this reason are similar.

It means that you need to pay close attention to who communicate with whom: if friends are bad, they make bad actions, drink, smoke or even take drugs, then it is better to get rid of them: in the future, nothing good to expect from them.

You need to choose friends consciously so that these are people who can make a person perfect.

4. Thinking "Good, bad"

Very well helps to manage emotions thinking "Good, bad." It is based on the premonition of subsequent events. Without a doubt, this is every person, just in most cases, people prefer not to listen to internal tips. Thanks to this ability, a variety of problems can be avoided!

The essence of this thinking:

• if inside lives the feeling that further action is beneficial, then you can safely continue;
• if the premonition inside "bad", then you need to say "no" and not to make what you can regret.

Usually people prefer to act on "maybe": they say, and suddenly everything will be fine! Experience shows that in most situations, ignoring internal tips leads to the worst. You need to pay attention to it.

Greetings readers. In this articles, I will tell. It will be about how not to succumb to your feelings, your mood and mental state, keep the sobriety of the mind and make the right decisions, and not act "on emotions." The article is quite large, as the topic requires, it even, in my opinion, is the smallest that you can write on this topic, so you can read the article in several approaches. Here you will also find many links to other materials of my blog, and before proceeding to their study, I advise you to read this page to the end, and then deepen into reading other articles on the links, since in this article I still ran "by top »(You can open materials on the links in other tabs of your browser and then proceed to reading).

So, before talking about practice, let me be speculating about why you need to control emotions and can it be done at all. Are our feelings with something unrequited, so with what we will never be able to cope? Let's try to figure it out.

Feelings and emotions in culture

Western mass culture is saturated with an atmosphere of emotional dictatorship, the authorities of feelings over human will. In the films, we are constantly visible as the heroes, driven by passionate gusts, make some insane acts and on this happens, the entire plot is being built. The characters of the films quarrel, break off, are angry, shout on each other, it happens, even without much of the reason. To their goal, to the dream of them often leads some kind of uncontrollable whim: whether it is a thirst for revenge, envy or desire to have power. Of course, the films are not entirely from this, I am not going to criticize them at all, because it is just the echo of the culture, which is that emotions are often put in the head of the corner.

This is especially traced in the classic literature (and even classical music, I'm not talking about the theater): past centuries were much more romantic than our era. The heroes of classical works were distinguished by a big emotional temper: they fell in love, they stopped love, they hated, they wanted to command.

And so, between these emotional extremes and passed the stage of the hero's life described in novels. I will also not criticize great classic books for it, it is wonderful, in terms of artistic value, works and they simply reflect the culture that were generated.

But, nevertheless, such a look at the things that we see in many works of world culture is not only a consequence of public worldview, but also indicates the further path of culture movement. Such an elevated, subservient attitude towards human emotions in books, music and cinema forms faith in the fact that our feelings are not managed, this is what is outside our power, they define our behavior and our character, they are given to us from nature and we are not We can change anything.

We believe that all personality of a person comes down to only the nutrition of passions, ethers, defects, complexes, fears and mental impulses. We are accustomed to thinking about yourself in such a manner "I'm hot-tempered, I am greedy, I'm shy, I nervous and I can do nothing with it."

We are constantly looking for an excuse for our actions in our feelings, removing all responsibility: "Well, I acted on emotions; When I'm annoyed, I become unmanageable; Well, here I am a person, I can't do anything with it, it's in my blood, etc. ". We treat our emotional world as a non-fulfillment of the elements, the growing ocean of passions, in which the storm will start, it is only worth a weak breeze (after all, it happens in the case of the heroes of books and films). We easily go on our feelings, because we are as there and cannot be different.

Of course, we began to see this rate, even, moreover, dignity and virtue! We call excessive sensitivity and think about it almost as a personal merit of the carrier of such a "spiritual type"! The entire concept of great artistic skills we are noting to the level of painting the movement of emotions, which is expressed in theatrical poses, fastened gestures and demonstrations of spiritual torments.

We no longer believe that it is possible to gain control over yourself, take conscious decisions, and not be a puppet of their desires and passions. Does such faith have a serious basis?

I think there is no. The impossibility of controlling the feelings is a common myth generated by our culture and our psychology. You can control emotions and in favor of this, the experience of many people who have learned to be in Ladakh with their inner world, they managed to make feelings with their allies, and not by the masters.

In this article, we will talk about the management of emotions. But I will speak not only about the control of emotions, such as anger, irritation, but also about the control of states, (laziness, boredom) and unmanaged physical needs, (lust, curd). Since all this has a common foundation. Therefore, if I further talk about emotions or feelings, I immediately mean all the irrational humaniments, and not only the emotions themselves in the strict sense of the word.

Why do you need to control your emotions

Of course, you can and need to manage feelings. But why do it? It is very simple to become freer and happier. Emotions, if you do not take control over them, take the management of yourself, which is fraught with all sorts of rapid actions that you then regret. They interfere with you to act wisely and right. Also, knowing about your emotional habits, you are easier to control other people: play your pride, if you are vain, use your uncertainty to impose your will.

Emotions of spontaneous and unpredictable, they can catch you surprise at the most responsible moment and prevent your intentions. Imagine a faulty car, which still goes, but you know that at any moment at high speed can break anything and this will lead to an imminent accident. Will you confidently feel behind the wheel of such a car? Also uncontrollable feelings can harm themselves and cause the most unpleasant consequences. Remember how much trouble you experienced due to the fact that you could not stop the excitement, calm the malice, overcome timidity and uncertainty.

The spontaneous character of emotions makes it difficult to meet long-term goals, since the sudden gusts of the sensual world constantly make deviations in your life course, forcing you to turn it into one, then in the other side of the first call of passions. How can you realize your genuine goal when you constantly distract to emotions?

In such a continuous deletion of sensual streams, it is difficult to find yourself, realize their deep desires and needs, which will lead you to happiness and harmony, as these streams constantly pull you in different directions, away from the center of your nature!

Strong, uncontrolled emotions, it's like a drug that paralyzes the will and concludes you into your slavery.

The ability to control their emotions and states will make you independent (from their experiences and from the people around), free and confident, will help to achieve their own and achieve the intended goals, since feelings will no longer fully control your mind and determine your behavior.

In fact, sometimes it is very difficult to estimate the negative impact of emotions on our life to the fullest, since every day we are under their power and look through the veil from naked desires and passions seems to be quite difficult. Even our usual acts carry an emotional imprint on themselves, and you can not suspic about it. It is very difficult to abstract from this state, but it's still possible to talk about it later.

What is the difference between emotions from suppressing emotions?

Meditate!

Meditation is a very valuable exercise on the control of emotions, to develop will and awareness. Those who have long read my blog can miss it, since I wrote about meditation already in many articles, but here I will not write anything fundamentally new things, but if you are not familiar with my materials, I strongly advise you to pay attention to it .

Of all that I listed, meditation, in my opinion, the most effective tool for monitoring your condition, both emotional and physical. Remember the imperturbability of yogis and eastern wise men who spent many hours in meditation. Well, since we are not yoga, you should not meditate for all day, but you need to spend 40 minutes a day.

Meditation is not magic, not magic, not religion, it is the same proven exercise for your mind, what kind of physical education is for the body. Only meditation, unfortunately not so popular in our culture, and sorry ...

Emotion management lies not only to stop them. It is necessary to maintain such a state in which strong negative emotions simply do not arise or, if they appear, then control the mind. This is a state of calm, sober mind and a peace that gives you meditation.

2 sessions of meditation per day, over time, you will teach you much better to manage your feelings, do not succumb to passions and do not fall in love with the vices. Try and you will understand what I'm talking about. And most importantly, meditation will help you to abstract from constant emotional pellets, which envelops your mind and prevents soberly to look at yourself and on your life. This is the difficulty that I spoke at the beginning. Regular meditation practices contribute to the fact that you will cope with this task.

There is a whole article on my site and you can read it by reference. I strongly recommend this to do it! This will make it easier for you to achieve the task of finding harmony and balance with your inner world. Without it will be very difficult!

What to do when overwhelming emotions?

Suppose you overtook the rapid emotions with which it is difficult to cope. What to do in such situations?

1. Realize that you are under pressure of emotions, so you need to take action and do not make it easier.
2. Calm down, relax (relax help), remember that your actions can now be irrational because of the feelings overwhelming you, so postpone decision making, talk, at another time. First calm down. Try soberly analyze the situation. Take responsibility for your feelings for yourself. Determine this emotion within the framework of the generalized class (ego, weakness, thirst for pleasure) or in a more private form (pride, laziness, shyness, etc.).
3. Depending on the situation, or make the opposite of what makes you make a current state. Either just ignore it, behave as if it's not. Or simply accept proactive measures to do not make extra nonsense (about this, I brought an example about a sense of love, at the beginning of the article: let it be a pleasant emotion, and will not turn into an uncontrolled state that will open you on such decisions that you will regret ).
4. Move all thoughts born by this emotion, do not go into them your head. Even if you have successfully coped with the initial emotional impulse, this is not all: you will still continue to overcome the thoughts that return your mind to this experience. Forbid yourself to think about it: every time the thoughts come about feeling - drive them away. (For example, you were heated in a traffic jam, you do not need to spoil my mood because of a random rudeness, prohibit yourself to think about all the injustice of this situation (stop the mental flow "And he is such a fucking me, after all, he is not right ..."), because it's stupid. distracted on music or other thoughts)

Try to analyze your emotions. What was the reason for them? Do you really need these experiences or they only interfere? Is it cleverly angry with trifles, envy, gloating, lazy and stay in despondency? Do you really need to constantly prove someone to someone, try to be everywhere better (which is impossible), strive to get a larger amount of pleasure, lazy and grieve? What will be your life in the absence of these passions?

How to change the life of people close to you when they stop being a target of your negative feelings? And what will happen to your life, if nobody will feed malicious motives with you? Well, the last one is already not exactly in your power (but only "not quite", I write this article that many people will read, it means that I can do something for this ;-)), but you can still teach yourself not to react on the surrounding negative, let people who are filled with them will leave him with them, instead of will not pass it to you.

Do not delay this analysis for later. Teach yourself to think, arguing about your experiences from the position of mind and common sense. Each time, after a strong experience, think about whether it is necessary to you what it gave you, and what took away to whom it hurted how he made you behave. Conscious how much limit you your emotions, how they control you and make you do what you would never have done in the right mind.

On this and finish this long article about how to control your emotions. I wish you success in this matter. I hope all the material on my site will help you with this.

The spectrum of human emotions is wide and diverse. Some of them are pleasant for us, others act depressingly and do not mostly affect our mood. But they are all able to influence their well-being in our own way. Therefore, it is very important to be able to control your own emotions, because, as the English proverb, the one who cannot manage itself is not able to manage others. In addition, in the modern world, crowded with stress factors who are found to the ordinary citizen at every step, it is simply necessary to develop such a skill in themselves. How much is it possible? AND How to manage your emotions?

What can emotions lead to?

Specialists in the field of psychology and medicine proved that there are indeed some types of human emotions are able to cause not only a strong and prolonged depressive state, but also to lead to deeply as mental and physiological disorders. Thus, long-term strong negative emotions of the type of malice, irritation, anger, insults provoke the development of cardiovascular diseases and diabetes. Therefore, it is very important to be able to correctly control your emotional states, but do not restrain and not suppress them in yourself, do not close them in them, but to respond.

For example, a three-year-old boy parents teach that crying is bad that a man should be strong, a man has no right to cry and show weakness. As a result, a man grows out of a boy who does not know how to find a common language with women who are all as one complain about his inability and reluctance to demonstrate ordinary human emotions: to show tenderness, love, care. He would like, so it can not, because since her childhood stands a kind of "stop" - it is impossible to detect its weakness. In addition, in many such cases, impotence and other sex disorders may even develop.

Therefore, you need to be able to work properly with emotions, so as not to harm yourself in one way or another.

How to properly manage emotions?

• First, whatever coloring emotion was not, it needs to be aware and find the cause. It often happens, we are in the bad arrangement of the Spirit and as if we do not know why. And all due to the fact that bad memories are displaced by themselves, such is the protective function of the psyche. But even if the reason is forgotten, then the investigation will still be unpleasant to remind itself. And if you need to add possible unfortunate anxiety and anxiety to this, the emergence of neurosis. Therefore, it is necessary to understand that it provokes your bad mood; What causes negative emotions.
• Emotions cannot be kept. This is the "golden rule" to work with both positive and negative emotions. Emotion strength is in great energy, and if they hold back, the energy will not have the exit, which is fraught with psychosomatic diseases, that is, diseases that, having a psychological cause of occurrence, are manifested in a variety of somatic disorders. However, it is not always possible to show some emotion, for example, if you undeservedly offended by the boss, then you can't shout on it in response. In this case, emotions need to be sublimated - to find a more appropriate channel for their exit, simply translate their energy for some other thing. Well here helps the sport, where an active emission of energy, or making love, however, you can search for your own options.
• I need to talk about emotions. Some people do not know how to simply be afraid to talk about their feelings. From here - the lack of mutual understanding, and then the state of frustration, depression, neurosis, and thus enters a vicious circle. Try to tell, explain to the person that his behavior or words caused your negative. See, sometimes words also help.
• If nevertheless, the situation comes out of your control, you do not understand you, do not hear and do not want to hear, one rather effective technique remains: you need to try to abstract from the situation. Philosophically treat the circumstance when at work the swirl of River and mosquito, really hard. But try to remember something good, what causes you very pleasant memories. Immerse yourself in these thoughts, feel them, come back at a time when these events took place. There is another technique: imagine that we turned off the sound. That is, the picture is available, but there is no sound support: accordingly, you don't hear anything and hurts you.

Managing his emotions, a man rationally uses that energy that could be wasted or go not in good by directing it to eliminate the cause that provoked an acute emotional reaction. It is important at the same time to move away from the problem situation, climb over it. Of course, the problem will remain, but you will have time to think, to get together with thoughts and forces to solve it. Remember the famous words Scarlett O'Hara: "I'll think about it tomorrow"? Take an example.

This amazing source will give you the greatest energy for a quick breakthrough to success and self-realization, when you learn to manage them with this method ...

Emotion is reaction Systems on their assessment of the importance of impact for self-realization. If the impact is harmful and prevents the goal achievement, negative emotions arise. And if useful and allows or helps to achieve the goal - then positive emotions appear.

They can be called signalsAnnouncing the system for changing the state in the past (memories) of this (current situation) or the future (imaginary situation). They motivate the system to activities to preserve their integrity, development, achieve success, harmony and self-realization.

Emotions, like basic motifs, give an initial impulse, push, which displays the system from the state rest (calm). They inspire, motivate, give energy to perform actions and change their condition. Help to make decisions, overcome obstacles and act while the goal is not achieved.

Depending on the emotion content, the system receives a different amount energyMiscellaneous impulse. As a rule, positive emotions give more energy and valid longer than negative (joy, happiness, enthusiasm ...). And negative emotions can completely deprive energy, immobilize, paralyze (fear, confusion ...), which may worsen the state, especially if there is a danger.

Emotions can be valuablesthat the system will seek consciously to experience (become happier, have fun, admire ...). Then they will begin to influence the decisions made, goals, actions and relationships. But each system has its own values \u200b\u200band emotion, which is valuable for one system, can be completely indifferent for another.

For example, if for a person, happiness is value, then he can do anything, in order to experience it. But another person can be indifferent to happiness, and to do everything possible for sensation, for example, surprise ...

Emotions allow you to determine right Decisions made regarding values, destinations and talent of the system, which affects its self-realization. Negative emotions sign on danger, deterioration of state and deviation from the path of self-realization. Positive emotions are notifying about improving the state, approaching or achieving the goal, the correct movement along the path of self-realization. Therefore, it is important to realize your emotions, process them, consciously regulate their activities in the event of negative emotions or for the emergence of positive.

Many depend on the definition and expression of emotion quality Systems: Charismatic, credibility, persuasiveness, openness ... They most affect the interaction, relationship and team formation.

Only consciously and actively using emotions, you can become an influential leader. His value, authority and confidence in it strongly depend on the emotions that he causes the entire team. Similar to the company - the more bright, positive emotions, it causes the team and customers, the more valuable it becomes.

Concentrating emotions on relationships And the motivation of partners, you can receive more resources from them and achieve more complex goals. Leaders, sensitive to their own emotions and emotions of the team participants, create a more efficient working and creative environment, which makes it possible to achieve great success. Studies have shown that more emotional and attentive to foreign emotions of businessmen earn more money.

It has been proven that in many cases, emotions are more determined thinking, activities and achievements than intellectual abilities. Decisions may not be made on the basis of logical reasoning, rationality, justification and evidence, but on the basis of emotions that cause the expected result of this decision.

For example, a person choosing a new car can buy it not for characteristics, reliability, safety, price / quality ratio ..., and for its color, a comfortable seat, a beautiful backlight in the cabin ... that they cause positive emotions.

Emotions are closely related to thinking and imagination. If in the situation to pay attention to its harmful consequences, negative emotions will arise, and vice versa. And if you represent a good situation, leading to improving the condition, then positive emotions will arise, and vice versa. Therefore, a person who is well-manager of his intelligence, thinking and imagination is easier to manage and its emotions, exciting some emotions in certain situations and overwhelming others.

Emotions It is very important to be able to recognize and evaluate teachers (teachers, teachers, coaches ...) learning other people, especially children, because They are poorly aware and manage their emotions.

The emotions and reactions of the student allow the teacher to choose the most suitable, the right learning style and the content of the transmitted experience. This significantly affects the level. trust Between the student and the teacher. And confidence affects the adherence to the student to the teacher and faith in the truth of the experience transferred to them. This is the main factor whether the student will apply this experience in its activities or not, which is the main purpose of the learning process.

The emergence of emotions

Each emotion necessarily has a source - External or internal stimulus that has influenced the system and has changed its condition. Such sources can be:
- Material systems (things, items, equipment, tools, people, animals, plants ...)
- Mental images (thoughts, ideas, memories ...)
- conditions, situations, circumstances in the environment
- rules, processes, principles, laws, norms ...
- Values \u200b\u200b(freedom, harmony, comfort ...)
- own state (facial expressions, body position, movement, voice ...)

Most often emotions arise In the following cases:

With perception current conditionsproviding an important impact on the system and forming experience.

For remember Situations that caused emotions in the past. This situation can be recalled independently, specifically or when it turned out to be in a similar situation. Also, memories may arise when there are elements that cause associations with that situation in the current situation. Moreover, emotions and internal processes can become similar to those who have been tested in the past situation: heart rate, breathing, pressure ...

When modeling the situation in imaginationWhen you imagine the conditions and processes that were not in reality, and evaluate their influence on your condition.

five. . Because Emotions contain information about the resulting or possible change in the state, they can be used when making decisions. This will determine the most efficient and successful way to achieve goals. And managing its own and other people's emotions you can form a certain behavior that will help act in the right direction.

The Gullman model includes the following EI abilities:

1. Personal (internal):

- self-awareness - the ability to determine and identify their condition, emotions, personal resources, desires and goals;

- self-regulation - the ability to control and manage your emotions, to change their personal state, make decisions and perform actions;

- motivation - emotional stress and concentration of helping to determine important goals and effectively achieve them;

2. Social (external):

- empathy - awareness of the emotions and the needs of other people, the ability to listen, and not just hear;

- social skills - The art of calling the other definite reaction, to manage the relationships and emotions of other people, organize effective interaction ...

This model is a hierarchical, involving that some abilities are based on others. For example, self-awareness is necessary for self-regulation - it is impossible to manage your emotions without knowing them to identify. Andoking how to manage emotions, you can easily motivate yourself and quickly go to the right state ...

Development of emotional intelligence

It increases the sensitivity to its and other emotions, allows you to manage them and motivate yourself to improve personal efficiency and success.

The development of emotional intelligence is based on the following principles:
Expand the comfort zone, to fall into new conditions in which new emotions may arise, for example, to visit new places, travel ...;
analyze and realize these new emotions immediately upon their occurrence;
repeat the situations in which emotions arise in order to better determine their influence on the activity, their reaction when they occur and try to manage them;
Consciously stop negative emotions in famous situations that cause them;
consciously excite emotions in ordinary situations in which these emotions did not arise;
Determine the emotions of other people. To do this, you can explore how emotions are expressed (for example, to study the book of P. Ekman, W. Frisena "Find a liar to the expression of the face"), or just asking what a person feels when they assume that he had an emotion ...
Excide emotions from other people. For example, with the help of stories, jokes, metaphors ... It is necessary to determine the correspondence between the impact and the emerging emotion, consciously repeat this effect so that the same emotion appears in different people.

For the effective development of emotional intelligence, you can apply the following methods:

Training
At any age, in any area, at any time, it is important to continue your learning and self-study. Moreover, the more expensive, the more professional and successful teachers / trainers / mentors who study, the greater influence, this training will have on all areas of life and personal qualities, including EI. At the same time, it is primarily desirable to study common, humanitarian sciences (philosophy, psychology, natural science, biology ...) in order to better know the world and its place in it, including, gaining knowledge of emotional processes. And after aware of himself, their talent and destination, choose a narrow development area, its profession, appropriate, and becomes a recognized expert in it.

Reading high-quality literature
For development in any area, it is extremely important to read books, practical guidelines, magazines, articles ... but even more importantly - to analyze and apply information from them in practice. It is also important to choose high-quality literature - popular, secular, news materials in the overwhelming majority of cases do not affect development, but only take time and clog memory. Books and benefits written by professionals recognized by experts have a completely different effect: they inform important, proven information, allow you to form personal principles, behavior, goals, expand the paradigm, but the main thing is to motivate start to act. Therefore, for the development of EI, it is important to choose high-quality books, for example, Daniel Gowlman "Emotional Intellect".

Maintaining a diary
Self-analysis is one of the main abilities of EI. And the materialization of thoughts in the self-analysis of their own and other people's emotions, makes this process most effective. In a diary, you can record any situations that caused emotions, describe your feelings, identify and classify emotions, draw conclusions, as one could react in such a situation next time. For convenient diary, you can use the service personal diaries.

Development of Quality
It is possible to improve individual components of EI - quality described in EI models, such as self-consciousness, self-regulation, empathy, etc. How to improve them is described in the development of personal qualities.

Travels
This is the most effective way to expand the comfort zone, because You get into a completely new environment, which did not even imagine. And it can give the strongest, bright, new emotions that did not hear about. They can be learned to manage and use in former, familiar conditions, which will give additional motivation, energy to fulfill ordinary cases and achieve new goals. Travels can also lead to a change in value system, which also changes emotions and their impact on activities. For example, having been in poor countries, you can start more to appreciate the usual things: food, water, electricity, technique ..., get more pleasure from their use, start rationally, to use them savvy.

Flexibility
When making decisions, you can use not only your experience, your point of view, but also take into account the opinion of those to whom this decision can affect, search for compromises. This will avoid the emergence of negative emotions and, due to the environmentally friendliness of the decision, can cause positive emotions from everyone who participated in its adoption and implementation. The opposite of this approach is called rigidity, when you act only on the basis of my experience. Then the likelihood is high that the solution will be non-environmental and will damage unpredictable harm.

Communication
Very often, emotions arise with ordinary communication. Communicating with new acquaintances or with old friends on new topics, you can experience new emotions. Evaluating and managing them when conversation can significantly change its results. For example, in negotiations, if freezing, you can lose potential customers or partners. And if the interlocutor cause severe positive emotions, then you can get much more resources from it than expected, for example, more money from the sponsor.

Creation
Creating something new, unique guarantees positive emotions. And the creation of masterpieces, something that will enjoy interest, in demand for which others will thank - this is perhaps the main source of the strongest, positive emotions that a person can experience in his life. The more graceful creation create, the more newly new and strong emotions arise.

Victory, rewards, success
New emotions often arise when achieving goals, participation in competitions, training in front of them or even ordinary disputes. And the moment of victory and receipt of the award always excites strong positive emotions. And the more importantly the victory, the harder it was to achieve it, the more resources are spent and the more remuneration, the stronger emotions arise.

All these methods create emotional experienceThe foundation for managing emotions. Without this experience, it is impossible to consciously excite or inhibit emotions. He creates a clear picture of what emotions may arise in response to certain changes, as they can affect the state and activity, and what can be taken to get rid of harmful and excite useful emotions.

The development of emotional intelligence makes it possible motivate and convince other people On a fatal, value level than you can do with words and affairs. This greatly improves relationships, which speeds up the achievement of common goals and self-realization.

The ideal development of EI leads to the appearance emotional competence - Ability to realize and manage any, even unknown emotions in any conditions. It allows you to determine the impact on the activities of new, not previously experienced emotions, even if you have never heard about them, and manage them. It also allows you to control the emotions of any, even the highest intensity, reduce or increase it to the desired level. It is also a protective barrier that does not "explode" and harm.

To determine the current level of development of its EI, you can use the following tests:
The coefficient of emotional development
Emotional intelligence
Emotion recognition
Attitude to others

Because All emotional processes significantly affect the activity of the system, it is important to be able to manage these processes to improve their condition, develop, effectively act, successfully achieve goals and self-realize.

Comes down to the following basic processes:
- excitation of useful emotions, i.e. transition from calm to active condition;
- repayment of harmful emotions, i.e. transition from active in calm condition;
- change in the intensity of emotion.

These processes also relate to the system itself, i.e. Managing personal emotions, and to other systems, i.e. Management of other people's emotions.

Effective emotion management is possible only when aware They can consciously determine the moment of their occurrence and correctly identify them. To do this, it is necessary to accumulate emotional experience, it is repeatedly provided in situations that excite a certain emotion. Without this, control can lead to an inadequate change in their intensity (for example, they wanted to pay off emotion, and it intensified with the opposite), it can be completely useless or will even bring harm.

An important role in the management of emotions is playing imagination. The better it is developed, the more realistic and large-scale images and situations it can create, in which emotions will be the most vivid and intense. You can improve your imagination using the training of imagination.

Also on emotion management affects memory. The better it is developed and the more emotional experience in it, the more bright memories of it can be obtained. You can improve your memory using the memory training.

Because Emotions are closely related to will, then it is stronger, the easier it is to manage emotions. Therefore, one of the ways to manage emotions is the development of will, perseverance and self-discipline. You can improve them using the Self-discipline training method.

When managing emotions, it is important to adhere to the following principles:

If you are currently experiencing one emotion and want to excite the other, then you must first to repay Current, turning into a calm condition, and only after that it is excited necessary.

It is necessary to consciously manage their external expression: Mimic, the movements of the hands, legs, body as a whole, his position, gestures, voice ... For example, so that joy arose, it is usually enough just to smile. To repay anger, you can measure, sigh and make the usual, calm face expression.

For excitation Emotions are needed incentives. They can be obtained on the following channels:

- visual: see the source of emotions (for example, a beautiful landscape), present it in imagination, go to certain conditions, situations, watch a film, painting ...;

- audinal: other people's words, thoughts (inner voice), voice volume, speech pace, music, sounds ...;

- kinestical: Mimic, movement and position of the body, gestures, breathing ...

CongruentThe agreed use of at the same time all these channels allows you to quickly excite even the most powerful emotion. Moreover, for maximum efficiency, it is recommended to use them in the same sequence: visual (draw in consciousness picture), audual (add words, music ...) and then kinesthetic (make an appropriate facial expression, busy a certain pose ...)

For example, you can simultaneously submit or recall the situation in which joy was tested, to include joyful music, to pronounce "I am fun, joyfully, cool" and actively danced, you can experience very strong joy, perhaps even delight.

But if, using all channels, one of them, for example, a kinesthetic, will contradictive Emotion (not congruent), the general condition may not change or even become the opposite desired.

For example, if you want to experience joy, imagine the picture, listen to music, but the body is very sluggish, the expression of the face is sad, sad or even evil, then the emotions may arise negative, not positive.

So as to initiate a certain emotion, you can remember The situation in which she arose in the past. Remember the details, which was surrounded by what actions were performed, what words and sounds heard that they were felt in the body, what were the thoughts ... If there is no experience of the experience of the necessary emotion or it is forgotten, then emotion cannot be excited in this way. Then you can consciously create conditions in which this emotion may arise and get the missing emotional experience.

Also to excite a certain emotion, you can imagine The visual image (picture) of the situation in which this emotion could arise in reality. In the absence of emotional experience, it is difficult to determine in what imaginary situation what emotion will arise. Then you need to accumulate this experience - go to new conditions, participate in new situations that can give new emotions. By purchasing such an experience, it will be possible to determine the basic elements of the conditions and situations that excite certain emotions and use them in the imagination.

For example, if in many situations, when joy arose, a certain person was present or a certain resource was obtained, then it is possible to use similar elements and emotions in an imaginary situation again.

For excitation of other people's emotions, It is necessary to make the same channels start working with another person. For example, so that he remembers some kind of situation or presented it. To do this, you can use open questions, history or metaphors that will create a certain image in a person's mind or will cause memories.

For example, so that the person experienced joy, you can ask him: "What was your happiest day in life?". Or you can say: "Do you remember when you first turned out to be at sea, you remember what happy you were then ...". Or: "And imagine that you are in the very paradise place on Earth, next to you are the closest people ... What would you feel then?" Then the person will immediately have images and memories that will cause emotions.

To to repay Emotion, you need to go to a calm condition using the following methods:
- relax, stop moving, convenient to sit down or lie down;
- focus on his breath, start slower and deeper to breathe, delay it for a few seconds after the breath ...;
- change your voice, reduce its volume, speak slower or completely stop talking for a short period;
- Submit or recall the situation in which you experience maximum safety, comfort, comfort, warmth.

To out of other people's emotions, It can be asked to accomplish these actions (in no way to force, unless of course reached the affect with harmful consequences). For example, you can say a calm voice: "Calm down, take a deep breath, snealing, drinking water ...". If a person does not want to calm down, then you can try to switch his attention. For example, again, you can tell the story, metaphor, set an open question ...

To learn how to change intensity Specific emotion, you can apply the following method:

1. Fully realize This emotion, identify, classify, determine the sensations that it causes in the body, what actions it motivates, to determine its sources, remember the situations in which it arose, or to be in such a situation to test it brightly. This will require emotional experience.

2. I use scale From 1 to 100%, to submit no matter how this emotion is at maximum intensity (100%). Submit what sensations would be in the body, what actions would like to do how intensively act ...

3. Determine current level This emotion is currently on the scale.

4. Moving small steps (5-10%) up on this scale, change the intensity of this emotion in the body. To do this, you can simply represent how the value on the scale increases and its intensity increases. Or you can represent / remember situations in which this emotion was more intense. It is important that the changes felt in both the body changed activity. If there are difficulties in the transition to greater intensity, then you can reduce the step, for example, to increase the intensity by 2-3%.

5. Having reached maximum Intensities, you need to start a decrease in the intensity to 0, using step 5-10%. To do this, you can also represent movement down the scale or represent / recall the situation with a smaller intensity of this emotion.

6. Then you need to reach 100% again, then again to 0% ... and continue this process until it turns out fast Change the intensity of emotions with its real expression in the body.

7. To secure the skill, you can move to defined Intensity, for example, by 27%, by 64%, by 81%, by 42% ... The main thing is that there is a clear feeling of emotion in the body.

For mood management It is enough to know their causes and take measures to eliminate them (to get rid of a bad mood) or creating (to make a good mood). Such reasons usually include:

- internal processes and condition: painful or healthy, cheerful or drowy ...

For example, having a bad mood, you can find out what you are sick. Then it will be enough to take medicine to raise the mood, go to the doctor ... and cure.

- environment: Comfort or confusion, noise or silence, clean air or unpleasant smells, pleasant or annoying people ...

For example, if for the workplace disorder, discomfort, then there may be a bad mood. Then you can get to bring beauty and purity.

- relations: The mood of other people is transferred to both a person.

For example, if I met a friend and pleased with him, the mood is improving. And if he met a person with an evil expression of a person who was also nahamil from an empty place, then the mood could worsen. Then you can simply stop contact with such a person and chat with someone who is pleasant.

- thoughts and images: Remembering or posing in the imagination of the situation, they excite the corresponding emotions. Therefore, to improve the mood, you can imagine or recall the case that caused positive emotions.

For example, remember a ridiculous case or a happy moment in your life. Or submit a trip to a beautiful car that you have long been dreaming. Or, for example, an athlete, thinking about the competition for possible injuries, defeat, etc., will have a bad mood. Then you can think about the victory, award, etc., so that the mood is improved.

- desires and goals: Reaching an important goal mood can be good, and if there are unresolved problems, it may worsen.

For example, to raise the mood you can put yourself a goal that I really want to achieve. Or you can solve a long-standing problem that delivered discomfort or prevented moving to the desired goal.

Also a significant plus of emotion management is success In all spheres of life. After all, in this case, there is no harm to the strong emotional "outbreaks" and there is always energy to achieve any goal.

In any case, even if emotions are not used for development and self-realization, they are still necessary for everyday life, to be in a good mood, tone, be happy, feel joy even from smallest things and share your emotions with loved ones.

Develop your emotions and manage them, then your success, your happiness and your self-realization will be inevitable.

How to learn how to manage your emotions? It often happens that the emerging emotions at the moment we do not need or need completely different. We try to switch to something with all our might, deeply breathe, analyze your condition. It is correct, but inffective, especially in emergency situations. Therefore, emotion management needs to be developed. For this, special exercises are created using trainings and described in psychology books.

And the emotional state is visible to everyone because it is expressed by the body. When sad, shoulders are cut down, the head is omitted, and the breath is slow and heavy. But remember what gestures and facial expansion, when joyful: the shoulders are stripped, the chin is raised, the chest forward, breathing is smooth, and on the face - a smile. Play these actions, and then your mental state will change. All the processes of the body, physical and mental, are interconnected. Practice at home in front of the mirror and feel this effect.

B happens so that the head is spinning, like a pavement plate, one thought. It prevents living, spoils the mood and morally pounds into the angle. It may be someone's rough words or a fictional conversation with a person with whom you are afraid to talk. In this case, try to present these voices with children and squeaky, so that they are not perceived as serious. Sparring them in front of the mirror so that you become funny. Another way to get rid of inner votes is to include music, but not in reality, but mentally.

In a look at the world through the eyes of a humorist: describe the situation that brought you out of emotional equilibrium, like a certain anecdote. Even better - write it on paper or tell a close person. At first it may seem that this method will not help, but be sure - in any situation you can find a bright face!

If you feel that at a psychological level, you cannot do some business (it seems too boring or complex), then turn on the imagination. Imagine that this is not a heavy burden, but a fascinating lesson that the fruits will bring. Or assign yourself a reward for performing this work.

All exercises are simple, but effective. They are some kind of support for emotion management, because they have one principle - internal switching from one state to another. Imagine that the brain, like a computer whose processes are under your control. Over time, it will be easier to cope with feelings.

Emotion Management Skill Development Books

• E.P. Ilyin "Emotions and Feelings". Before familiarizing with emotion management, first find out what emotions are what they happen from where they come from and as expressed at the level of psychology and physiology. This book will tell about it.
• Paul Ekman "Emotion Psychology. I know what you feel". The book will teach to recognize emotions and other people, evaluate and adjust the manifestation in the early stages. It is based on reflections, personal experience and studies of the author.
• Ruslan Zhukovets "How to Take Emotions. Techniques on self-control from a professional psychologist. " This book is more serious because it says what processes occur in the body while experiencing emotions: why and how negative emotions spoil our health. In addition, it will show how to get rid of excessive emotionality.
• Nina Rubestein "Training Emotion Management". It contains exercises for controlling emotions and a lot of useful information about their occurrence. The book exists only in electronic form.
• Sandra Ingeman "Exemption from unpleasant thoughts and emotions." The book has many positive feedback, since it describes specific methods for controlling emotions. As the author emphasizes, written will be useful for those who are interested in psychology and spiritual development, and also wants to be healthy and happy.

Those who want to be less emotional should turn to print sources, video resources and presentations. It can be paid trainings, seminars or free video on YouTube. To improve the effect, there is a lively attend such events, because there is an opportunity to discuss an exciting problem with other training participants and ask questions to the lead.

How to keep under the control of emotions, speaking publicly: literature, tips, trainings

Manage emotions is much easier when everything happens on the household level. But when you lead training in front of dozens of people, emotion management goes down. Before the speech, inexperienced speakers have a fear of failure, which is unpredictably manifested on stage. Therefore, learn to keep yourself under control and use the knowledge gained in practice.

Emotion management literature:

• Radislav Gandapas "Kamasutra for the speaker." This is the desktop book of those who want to be or already is a professional speaker. It is small in the amount, but contains a lot of useful information about the process of preparation for the performance and overcoming fear and experiences. Be sure to read the author's other books and visit or see online trainings. The choice is large, so they are useful to speakers and those who want to be a leader and entrepreneur.
• George Cracker "Save the hostage. How to manage emotions, influence people and resolve conflicts. Practical advice of an experienced negotiator. " This book is created for those who do not want to be a hostage of their own thoughts and other people; Who wants to understand personal psychology, as well as learn how to control themselves in the negotiation and presentation process.
• Dale Carnegie "How to generate confidence and influence people, speaking publicly." Classic book on the psychology of public speeches. She will teach to be confident on stage, but less emotional. Recommendations from here are used in trainings on speaking skill.

1 Do not be afraid to make mistakes. This fear does not give novice speakers to go on stage. Remember that the mistakes committed and professional training leading, but this did not prevent them from achieving success. Give an answer to the question: "What will happen if I am mistaken?" Most likely nothing.

2 Do not dwell on failure. If you think about the poor development of events, it will happen. Therefore, imagine the speech only at the best. After all, if you constantly scroll into your head, as you stutter, and the listeners laugh, the performance will decrease. So, the preparation process will be a heavy test for you, like the speech itself.

3 Do not use stimulants. Coffee, alcohol and sedative will not help calm down. You, on the contrary, will become inhibited. Better to sleep before the event.

4 Think about the appearance. Be sure to put yourself in order: Make a hairstyle, like faster (if you are a girl), put on the case of clothes. Clothes must match fashion, be comfortable and not shocking. Take into account the reaction of the general public, because the "normal" clothes for you may cause bewilderment among the rest. Girls do not need to sin with decorations. It is better to choose an accessory in advance, the appropriate occasion, and not to wear everything in a row. Such simple preparations will add confidence.

5 Forget about the past. If you have the experience of an unsuccessful performance, do not think that every training will pass the same way. Learn to your mistakes, Improve and move on. With experience of such problems will be less .

Being an emotional person is not bad if you are experiencing positive emotions. But if you feel anger, fear, despondency and you can not get rid of them, change. Negative emotions harm spiritual and physical health. Try, because it is easier to do what it seems at first glance. Follow the exercises, read the useful books, attend trainings, and everything will be able to all!