PART ONE
BARANKIN, TO THE BOARD!
EVENT ONE
Two deuces!
If Kostya Malinin and I had not managed to get two marks in geometry at the very beginning of the school year, then perhaps nothing so incredible and fantastic in our life would have happened, but we got two marks, and therefore the next day something happened to us something incredible, fantastic and even, one might say, supernatural! ..
At recess, immediately after this unfortunate event, Zinka Fokina, the headman of our class, came up to us and said: “Oh, Barankin and Malinin! Oh, what a shame! Shame on the whole school! " Then she gathered the girls around her and began, apparently, to draw up some kind of conspiracy against Kostya and me. The meeting went on throughout the break until the bell rang for the next lesson.
During the same time, Alik Novikov, a special photojournalist for our wall newspaper, took a picture of us with Kostya and with the words: “The deuce is jumping! The deuce is racing! ", Stuck our faces to the newspaper, in the section" Humor and Satire ".
After that Era Kuzyakina, the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper, looked at us with a devastating look and hissed: “Eh, you! Such a newspaper has been spoiled! "
The newspaper, which, according to Kuzyakina, was ruined by Kostya and I, looked really beautiful. It was all painted with colorful paints, in the most conspicuous place from edge to edge the slogan was written in bright letters: "Learn only" good "and" excellent "! "
To be honest, our gloomy faces of typical Losers really somehow did not fit in with her elegant and festive look. I could not even bear it and sent Kuzyakina a note with the following content:
“Kuzyakina! I suggest removing our cards so that the newspaper is beautiful again! "
I underlined the word "beautiful" with two bold lines, but Erka just shrugged her shoulders and didn't even look in my direction ...
EVENT TWO
They don't even let me come to my senses ...
As soon as the bell rang from the last lesson, all the guys rushed to the door in a crowd. I was about to push the door with my shoulder, but Erka Kuzyakina somehow managed to get in my way.
Do not disperse! Do not disperse! There will be a general meeting! she cried and added in a malicious tone:
Dedicated to Barankin and Malinin!
And not a meeting, ”shouted Zinka Fokina,“ but a conversation! A very serious conversation! .. Sit down! ..
What started here! All the guys began to be indignant, clap their desks, scold Kostya and me and shout that they would never stay. Kostya and I yelled the most, of course. What kind of order is this? Didn't have time, one might say, to get deuces, and on you - immediately a general meeting, well, not a meeting, so "serious conversation" ... It is still unknown which is worse. This was not the case in the last academic year. That is, Kostya and I also had two marks last year, but no one made any kind of fire out of it. They worked it out, of course, but not like that, not right away ... They gave me, as they say, to come to my senses ... While such thoughts flashed in my head, the headman of our class Fokina and the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper Kuzyakin managed to "suppress the riot" and forced all the guys to sit down. When the noise gradually subsided and the class was relatively quiet, Zinka Fokina immediately began the meeting, that is, a "serious conversation" dedicated to me and my best friend Kostya Malinin.
It is, of course, very unpleasant for me to remember what Zinka Fokina and our other comrades said about Kostya and me at that meeting, and despite this, I will tell everything as it really was, without distorting a single word or adding anything. push…
EVENT THIRD
How does it work in opera ...
When everyone was seated and silence fell in the classroom, Zinka Fokina shouted:
Oh guys! It's just some kind of misfortune! The new school year has not yet begun, but Barankin and Malinin have already managed to get two deuces! ..
In the classroom, a terrible noise immediately arose again, but some of the shouts were, of course, intelligible.
In such conditions, I refuse to be the chief editor of the wall newspaper! (This was said by Era Kuzyakina.) - And they also gave their word that they would correct themselves! (Mishka Yakovlev.) - Unfortunate drones! Last year they were nursed, and all over again! (Alik Novikov) - Call your parents! (Nina Semyonova) - Only our class is dishonored! (Irka Pukhova.) - We decided to do everything for "good" and "excellent", and here you are! (Ella Sinitsyna.) - Shame on Barankin and Malinin !! (Ninka and Irka together.) - Yes, expel them from our school, and that's it !!! (Erka Kuzyakina.) "Okay, Erka, I will remember this phrase for you."
After these words, everyone yelled in one voice, so loudly that it was completely impossible for Kostya and I to make out who and what was thinking about us, although from individual words it was possible to catch that Kostya Malinin and I were idiots, parasites, drones! Once again, idiots, idlers, egoists! Etc! Etc!..
Kostya and I got angry most of all that Venka Smirnov was yelling loudest. Whose cow, as they say, would bellow, but his would be silent. This Venka's academic performance last year was even worse than Kostya and I. Therefore, I could not resist and also screamed.
Red-haired, - I shouted at Venka Smirnov, - why are you shouting the loudest? If you were the first to be summoned to the board, you would have won not a two, but a one! So shut up in a rag.
Oh you, Barankin, - Venka Smirnov yelled at me, - I'm not against you, I'm yelling for you! What I want to say, guys! .. I say: you can't immediately call to the board after the holidays. We need to first come to our senses after the holidays ...
Smirnov! - Zinka Fokina shouted at Venka.
And in general, - Venka continued shouting to the whole class, - I suggest that during the first month no one should be asked any questions and should not be summoned to the blackboard at all! ..
So you shout these words separately, - I shouted to Venka, - and not with everyone together! ..
Oh, hush, guys, - said Fokina, - shut up! Let Barankin speak!
V. V. Medvedev
Barankin, be a man!
(The Adventures of Barankin - 1)
Part one
EVENT ONE
Shame on the whole school!
If Kostya Malinin and I had not managed to get marks in geometry at the very beginning of the school year, then perhaps nothing so incredible and fantastic in our life would have happened, but we got marks, and therefore the next day something happened to us - something incredible, fantastic and, one might say, supernatural! ..
At recess, immediately after this unfortunate event, Zinka Fokina, the headman of our class, came up to us and said: “Oh, Barankin and Malinin! Oh, what a shame! Shame on the whole school! " Then she gathered the girls around her and began, apparently, to draw up some kind of conspiracy against Kostya and me. The meeting went on throughout the break until the bell rang for the next lesson.
During the same time, Alik Novikov, a special photojournalist for our wall newspaper, took a picture of us with Kostya and with the words: “The deuce is jumping! The deuce is racing! " - stuck our faces on the newspaper, in the section "Humor and Satire".
After that Era Kuzyakina, the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper, looked at us with a devastating look and hissed: “Eh, you! They ruined such a beautiful newspaper! "
The newspaper, which, according to Kuzyakina, Kostya and I ruined, looked really very beautiful. It was all painted with multi-colored paints, in the most conspicuous place, from edge to edge, the slogan was written in bright letters: "Learn only for" good "and" excellent "!".
To be honest, our gloomy faces of typical Losers really somehow did not fit with her elegant and festive look. I couldn’t even resist and sent Erke a note:
“Kuzyakina! I propose to remove our cards so that the newspaper is beautiful again! Or, as a last resort, cross out the slogan! "
I underlined the word “beautiful” with two bold lines, and “cross out the slogan” with three, but Erka just shrugged her shoulders and didn't even look in my direction ... Just think! ..
EVENT TWO
They don't even let me come to my senses ...
As soon as the bell rang from the last lesson, the guys rushed in a crowd to the door. I was about to push the door with my shoulder, but Erka Kuzyakina somehow managed to get in my way.
- Do not disperse! Do not disperse! There will be a general meeting! - she shouted and added in a malicious tone: - Dedicated to Barankin and Malinin!
“And not a meeting,” shouted Zinka Fokina, “but a conversation! A very serious conversation! .. Sit down! ..
What started here! All the guys began to be indignant, clap their desks, scold Kostya and me and shout that they would never stay. Kostya and I yelled the most, of course. What kind of order is this? We didn’t have time, one might say, to get deuces, and on you - immediately a general meeting, well, not a meeting, so "serious conversation" ... It is still unknown which is worse. This was not the case in the last academic year. That is, Kostya and I also had two marks last year, but no one made any kind of fire out of it. They worked it out, of course, but not like that, not right away ... They gave me, as they say, to come to my senses ... While such thoughts flashed in my head, the headman of our class Fokina and the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper Kuzyakin managed to "suppress the riot" and forced all the guys to sit down. When the noise gradually subsided and the class was relatively quiet, Zinka Fokina immediately began the meeting, that is, a "serious conversation" dedicated to me and my best friend.
It is, of course, very unpleasant for me to remember what Zinka Fokina and our other comrades said about Kostya and me at that meeting, and despite this, I will tell everything as it really was, without distorting a single word or adding anything. push…
EVENT THIRD
As in the opera, it turns out ...
When everyone sat down and there was a temporary lull in the classroom, Zinka Fokina shouted:
- Oh guys! It's just some kind of misfortune! The new school year has not yet begun, but Barankin and Malinin have already received two deuces! ..
There was a terrible noise in the classroom again, but the individual shouts were, of course, intelligible.
- In such conditions, I refuse to be the chief editor of the wall newspaper! (This was said by Erka Kuzyakina.)
- And they gave their word that they would correct themselves! (Mishka Yakovlev.)
- Unfortunate drones! Last year they were nursed, and all over again! (Alik Novikov.)
- Call your parents! (Nina Semenova.)
- Only our class is dishonored! (Irka Pukhova.)
- We decided to do everything for "good" and "excellent", and here you are! (Ella Sinitsyna.)
- Shame on Barankin and Malinin !! (Ninka and Irka together.)
- Yes, kick them out of our school, that's all !!! (Erka Kuzyakina.)
"Okay, Erka, I will remember this phrase for you."
After these words, everyone yelled in one voice, so loudly that it was completely impossible for Kostya and I to make out who and what was thinking about us, although from individual words it was possible to catch that Kostya Malinin and I were idiots, parasites, drones! Once again, drones, fools, loafers, egoists! Etc. Etc!..
Kostya and I got angry most of all that Venka Smirnov was yelling loudest. Whose cow, as they say, would bellow, but his would be silent. This Venka's academic performance last year was even worse than that of Kostya and I. Therefore, I could not resist and also screamed.
“Red,” I shouted at Venka Smirnov, “but why are you yelling loudest? If you were the first to be summoned to the board, you would have won not a two, but a one! So shut up in a rag.
- Oh you, Barankin, - Venka Smirnov yelled at me, - I'm not against you, I'm yelling for you! What I want to say, guys! .. I say: you can't immediately call to the board after the holidays. We need to first come to our senses after the holidays ...
- Smirnov! - Zinka Fokina shouted at Venka.
- And in general, - Venka continued shouting to the whole class, - I suggest that during the first month no one should be asked any questions and should not be summoned to the blackboard at all! ..
- So you shout these words separately, - I shouted to Venka, - and not with everyone together! ..
- Oh, hush, guys, - said Fokina, - shut up! Let Barankin speak!
- What to say? - I said. - Kostya and I are not to blame for the fact that Mikhail Mikhalych called us first to the board this academic year. I would ask first one of the excellent students, for example Mishka Yakovlev, and everything would start with a five ...
Everyone began to make noise and laugh, and Fokina said:
- You would, Barankin, better not joke, but take an example from Misha Yakovlev.
- Just think, what an example of ministers! - I said not very loudly, but so that everyone could hear.
The guys laughed again. Zinka Fokina bawled, and Erka shook her head like a big one and said:
- Barankin! You better tell me when you and Malinin correct your deuces ...
- Malinin! - I said to Kostya. - Explain ...
- Here they are! - said Malinin. - Yes, we will correct your deuces ... that is, our deuces ...
- Yura, when will we fix the deuces? - Kostya asked me.
- And you, Malinin, don't have your head on your shoulders? - shouted Kuzyakina.
“We’ll fix it in a quarter,” I said in a firm voice to bring the final clarity to this issue.
- Guys! What is this? This means that our class must experience these unfortunate deuces for the whole quarter! - Kuzyakina was alarmed.
- Barankin! - said Zinka Fokina. “The class ordered you to fix the deuces tomorrow!
- Excuse me, please! - I was indignant. - Tomorrow is Sunday!
- Nothing, work out! (Misha Yakovlev.)
- Serves them right! (Alik Novikov.)
- Tie them with ropes to the desks! (Erka Kuzyakina.)
- And if Kostya and I don't understand the solution to the problem? (I already said that.)
- I'll explain it to you! (Misha Yakovlev.)
Kostya and I looked at each other and said nothing.
- Silent means consent! - said Zinka Fokina. - So we agreed on Sunday! In the morning you will work out with Yakovlev, and then you will come to the school garden - we will plant trees!
- Physical labor, - said the editor-in-chief of our wall newspaper, - the best rest after mental work.
- This is what happens, - I said, - so, as in the opera, it turns out ... "No sleep, no rest for an exhausted soul! .."
- Alik! - said the headman of our class. - Make sure they don't run away! ..
- They won't run away! - said Alik. - Make a funny face! My conversation is short! In which case ... - Alik pointed the camera at Kostya and me. - And the signature ...
EVENT FOUR
(Very important!) What if I'm tired of being human ?!
The guys, talking, left the classroom, and Kostya and I still continued to sit at the desk and be silent. To be honest, we were both just, as they say, dumbfounded. I have already said that before we also had to get deuces, and more than once, but never before did our guys take Kostya and me at the very beginning of the year in such a turn as on this Saturday.
It's hard to be a person, and especially a child who can't do anything from what he wants. Children have to be obedient, which is so difficult. Children have so many responsibilities that prevent them from enjoying life. And many kids really think so. It seems to them that it is better to be someone else, just so as not to experience these difficulties. Valery Medvedev's book "Barankin, Be Human" was written just for such children. It will also appeal to adults who think that they are tired of life and would like to be some other creature who does not have such problems. The book is interesting in its plot, written with fun and humor, and also carries valuable thoughts that children should understand from a very young age.
This is a story about two friends - schoolchildren Yura Barankin and Kostya Malinin. They did not like going to school and constantly listening to the instructions of parents and teachers. Is there something interesting in the life of an ordinary schoolboy? You need to go to school, behave well, study diligently from day to day ... No fun or adventure! You can't skip lessons, you can't get deuces either, you can't fight. Is this life? Another thing, for example, flies or ants, or butterflies, or some other insects. So they live for themselves and don't know grief, they do what they want, crawl and fly wherever they want ...
The boys thought approximately so until they themselves turned into insects. It was then that they learned that they also have their own lives and their own problems, which can be more serious than a two in geometry. After Kostya was almost eaten by his own cat, he understood this especially clearly. The most important thing is that the guys drew conclusions and, even in the most difficult situations, did not forget about what it means to be human.
On our website you can download the book "Barankin, be a human" Medvedev Valery Vladimirovich free of charge and without registration in fb2, rtf, epub, pdf, txt format, read the book online or buy a book in the online store.
Current page: 1 (total of the book has 8 pages) [available passage for reading: 2 pages]
Valery MEDVEDEV
BARANKIN, BE A MAN!
PART ONE
BARANKIN, TO THE BOARD!
EVENT ONE
Two deuces!
If Kostya Malinin and I had not managed to get two marks in geometry at the very beginning of the school year, then perhaps nothing so incredible and fantastic in our life would have happened, but we got two marks, and therefore the next day something happened to us something incredible, fantastic and even, one might say, supernatural! ..
At recess, immediately after this unfortunate event, Zinka Fokina, the headman of our class, came up to us and said: “Oh, Barankin and Malinin! Oh, what a shame! Shame on the whole school! " Then she gathered the girls around her and began, apparently, to draw up some kind of conspiracy against Kostya and me. The meeting went on throughout the break until the bell rang for the next lesson.
During the same time, Alik Novikov, a special photojournalist for our wall newspaper, took a picture of us with Kostya and with the words: “The deuce is jumping! The deuce is racing! ", Stuck our faces to the newspaper, in the section" Humor and Satire ".
After that Era Kuzyakina, the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper, looked at us with a devastating look and hissed: “Eh, you! Such a newspaper has been spoiled! "
The newspaper, which, according to Kuzyakina, was ruined by Kostya and I, looked really beautiful. It was all painted with colorful paints, in the most conspicuous place from edge to edge the slogan was written in bright letters: "Learn only" good "and" excellent "! "
To be honest, our gloomy faces of typical Losers really somehow did not fit in with her elegant and festive look. I could not even bear it and sent Kuzyakina a note with the following content:
“Kuzyakina! I suggest removing our cards so that the newspaper is beautiful again! "
I underlined the word "beautiful" with two bold lines, but Erka just shrugged her shoulders and didn't even look in my direction ...
EVENT TWO
They don't even let me come to my senses ...
As soon as the bell rang from the last lesson, all the guys rushed to the door in a crowd. I was about to push the door with my shoulder, but Erka Kuzyakina somehow managed to get in my way.
- Do not disperse! Do not disperse! There will be a general meeting! She cried and added in a malicious tone:
- Dedicated to Barankin and Malinin!
“And not a meeting,” shouted Zinka Fokina, “but a conversation! A very serious conversation! .. Sit down! ..
What started here! All the guys began to be indignant, clap their desks, scold Kostya and me and shout that they would never stay. Kostya and I yelled the most, of course. What kind of order is this? We didn’t have time, one might say, to receive deuces, and on you - immediately a general meeting, well, not a meeting, so "serious conversation" ... It is still unknown which is worse. This was not the case in the last academic year. That is, Kostya and I also had two marks last year, but no one made any kind of fire out of it. They worked it out, of course, but not like that, not right away ... They gave me, as they say, to come to my senses ... While such thoughts flashed in my head, the headman of our class Fokina and the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper Kuzyakin managed to "suppress the riot" and forced all the guys to sit down. When the noise gradually subsided and the class was relatively quiet, Zinka Fokina immediately began the meeting, that is, a "serious conversation" dedicated to me and my best friend Kostya Malinin.
It is, of course, very unpleasant for me to remember what Zinka Fokina and our other comrades said about Kostya and me at that meeting, and despite this, I will tell everything as it really was, without distorting a single word or adding anything. push…
EVENT THIRD
How does it work in opera ...
When everyone was seated and silence fell in the classroom, Zinka Fokina shouted:
- Oh guys! It's just some kind of misfortune! The new school year has not yet begun, but Barankin and Malinin have already managed to get two deuces! ..
In the classroom, a terrible noise immediately arose again, but some of the shouts were, of course, intelligible.
- In such conditions, I refuse to be the chief editor of the wall newspaper! (This was said by Era Kuzyakina.) - And they also gave their word that they would correct themselves! (Mishka Yakovlev.) - Unfortunate drones! Last year they were nursed, and all over again! (Alik Novikov) - Call your parents! (Nina Semyonova) - Only our class is dishonored! (Irka Pukhova.) - We decided to do everything for "good" and "excellent", and here you are! (Ella Sinitsyna.) - Shame on Barankin and Malinin !! (Ninka and Irka together.) - Yes, expel them from our school, and that's it !!! (Erka Kuzyakina.) "Okay, Erka, I will remember this phrase for you."
After these words, everyone yelled in one voice, so loudly that it was completely impossible for Kostya and I to make out who and what was thinking about us, although from individual words it was possible to catch that Kostya Malinin and I were idiots, parasites, drones! Once again, idiots, idlers, egoists! Etc! Etc!..
Kostya and I got angry most of all that Venka Smirnov was yelling loudest. Whose cow, as they say, would bellow, but his would be silent. This Venka's academic performance last year was even worse than Kostya and I. Therefore, I could not resist and also screamed.
- Red, - I shouted at Venka Smirnov, - why are you shouting loudest? If you were the first to be summoned to the board, you would have won not a two, but a one! So shut up in a rag.
- Oh you, Barankin, - Venka Smirnov yelled at me, - I'm not against you, I'm yelling for you! What I want to say, guys! .. I say: you can't immediately call to the board after the holidays. We need to first come to our senses after the holidays ...
- Smirnov! - Zinka Fokina shouted at Venka.
- And in general, - Venka continued shouting to the whole class, - I suggest that during the first month no one should be asked any questions and should not be summoned to the blackboard at all! ..
- So you shout these words separately, - I shouted to Venka, - and not with everyone together! ..
- Oh, hush, guys, - said Fokina, - shut up! Let Barankin speak!
- What to say? - I said. - Kostya and I are not to blame for the fact that Mikhail Mikhalych called us first to the board this academic year. I would ask first one of the excellent students, for example Mishka Yakovlev, and everything would start with an A ...
Everyone began to make noise and laugh, and Fokina said:
- You would, Barankin, better not joke, but take an example from Misha Yakovlev.
- Just think, an example minister! - I said not very loudly, but so that everyone could hear.
The guys laughed again. Zinka Fokina bawled, and Erka shook her head like a big one and said:
- Barankin! You better tell me when you and Malinin will correct your deuces?
- Malinin! - I said to Kostya. - Explain ...
- What are you yelling for? - said Malinin. - We will correct the deuces ...
- Yura, when will we fix the deuces? - asked me Kostya Malinin.
- And you, Malinin, don't have your head on your shoulders? - shouted Kuzyakina.
“We’ll fix it in a quarter,” I said in a firm voice to bring the final clarity to this issue.
- Guys! What is this? This means that our class must experience these unfortunate deuces for the whole quarter!
- Barankin! - said Zinka Fokina. “The class ordered you to fix the deuces tomorrow!
- Excuse me, please! - I was indignant. - Tomorrow is Sunday!
- Nothing, work out! (Misha Yakovlev.) - Serves them right! (Alik Novikov.) - Tie them with ropes to the desks! (Erka Kuzyakina) - And if we don't understand the solution of the problem with Kostya? (I already said this.) - I'll explain it to you! (Misha Yakovlev) Kostya and I glanced at each other and said nothing.
- Silent means consent! - said Zinka Fokina. - So we agreed on Sunday! In the morning you will work out with Yakovlev, and then you will come to the school garden - we will plant trees!
- Physical labor, - said the editor-in-chief of our wall newspaper, - the best rest after mental work.
- This is what happens, - I said, - so, as in the opera, it turns out ... "No sleep, no rest for an exhausted soul! .."
- Alik! - said the headman of our class. - Make sure they don't run away! ..
- They won't run away! - said Alik. - Make a funny face! My conversation is short! In which case ... - Alik pointed the camera at Kostya and me. - And the signature ...
EVENT FOUR
(Very important!)
What if I'm tired of being human ?!
The guys, talking, left the classroom, and Kostya and I still continued to sit at the desk and be silent. To be honest, both of us were just, as they say, dumbfounded. I have already said that before we also had to get deuces, and more than once, but never before did our guys take us from Kostya at the very beginning of the year in such a turn as on this Saturday.
- Yura! - said Zinka Fokina. (This is strange! Previously, she always called me only by my last name.) - Yura ... Be a man! .. Correct the deuce tomorrow! Will you fix it?
She spoke to me as if we were all alone in class. As if my best friend Kostya Malinin was not sitting next to me.
- Will you fix it? She repeated her question quietly.
Fokina(indignantly). It is absolutely impossible to talk to you in a human way!
I(coolly). Well, don't talk!
Fokina(even more indignant). And I will not!
I(even more cold-blooded). And you talk yourself! ..
Fokina(more indignant a thousand times). Because I want you to become a man!
“And if I'm tired of being a human being, then what? ..” I shouted indignantly at Fokina.
- Well, Barankin! You know, Barankin! .. That's it, Barankin! .. - said Fokina and left the classroom.
And I again stayed at my desk, silently sitting and thinking about how really tired I was of being a human ... "Already tired ... And there is still a whole human life and such a difficult academic year ahead ... And tomorrow is such a hard Sunday! ...
EVENT FIVE
Shovels are still handed over ... And the Bear is about to appear
And now this Sunday has come! On Dad's calendar, the number and letters are painted in a cheerful pink paint. All the guys from our house have a holiday. Some go to the cinema, some go to football, some go about their own business, and Kostya and I sit in the yard on a bench and wait for Mishka Yakovlev to start studying with him.
Studying on weekdays is also a little pleasure, but studying on weekends when everyone is resting is just one torment. Outside, as luck would have it, the weather is wonderful. There is not a cloud in the sky, and the sun warms quite like summer.
In the morning, when I woke up and looked out into the street, the whole sky was in clouds. The wind whistled outside the window and plucked yellow leaves from the trees.
I was delighted. I thought there would be a hail of a pigeon's egg, Bear would be afraid to go out, and our classes would not take place. If not hail, then maybe the wind will blow snow or rain. The bear with his character, of course, will drag himself into the snow and rain, but it will not be so offensive to sit at home and pore over textbooks into the slush. While I was making different plans in my head, everything turned out the other way around. The clouds first turned into clouds, and then completely disappeared. And by the time of Kostya Malinin's arrival, the weather had generally cleared up, and now the sun and the sky are clear and clear. And the air does not move. Quiet. So quietly that yellow leaves even stopped falling from the birch under which we are sitting with Kostya.
- Hey you, boletus! My mother's voice came from the window of our apartment. - Will you eventually go to study or not?
She asked this question for the fifth or sixth time.
- We are waiting for Yakovlev!
- Is it impossible to start without Yakovlev?
But Mishka was not there. Instead of him, Alik Novikov loomed behind the gate, now and then protruding from behind a tree. He was, as always, covered with cameras and all sorts of photographic accessories. I, of course, could not look calmly at this scout and therefore looked away.
- It's called Sunday! I said, gritting my teeth.
At this time Zinka Fokina approached Alik; she carried four shovels on her shoulder, a cardboard box was clutched under her arm, and a butterfly net in her left hand.
Alik photographed Zinka with shovels on his shoulder, and together they walked towards us. I thought that Alik would now load the shovels on his shoulders, but for some reason this did not happen. Zink Fokina continued to drag all four shovels, while Alik continued to hold on to the camera with both hands, which was hanging around his neck.
“Hey you, photographer,” I said to Alik, when he and Zinka approached the bench. - It seems that these shovels are too much for you, Your Manifestation!
“But they will be up to you with Kostya,” said Alik Novikov, not at all embarrassed, pointing the device at Kostya and me. - And the signature: the headman of class 3. Fokina solemnly presents the household inventory to her compatriots ...
Zinka Fokina leaned the shovels against the bench seat, and Alik Novikov clicked the camera.
“Yes,” I said, looking closely at the shovels. - As in the magazine "Bonfire" it turns out ...
- What else is it? Fokina asked me.
“Mysterious picture,” I explained.
- I understand, - said Alik, - where is the handle of this shovel?
“No,” I said to Alik. - Where is the boy who will work with this shovel? ..
- Barankin! - Zinka Fokina was indignant. - Are you not going to green the school today?
- Why am I not going to? - I answered Zinka. - I'm going to get ready ... Only it is not known how long I will get ready ...
- Barankin, be a man! - said Zinka Fokina. - After classes with Misha Yakovlev, immediately come to the school garden!
* * *
She wanted to tell Kostya and me something else, but she changed her mind, turned and walked silently towards the school with a shovel on her shoulder.
Alik Novikov again took up his post at the gate behind the tree. Kostya darkened even more and stared at the shovels; he looked at them as if hypnotized, and I on the contrary; I tried not to pay any attention to this "inventory". Trying my best to seem cheerful, I began to look at the trees, not even realizing that before the incredible, fantastic and, one might say, supernatural events that unfold in our yard, there is very little time left ...
EVENT SIX
Seven days off a week - that's what caught my imagination!
Sparrows chirped loudly in the bushes. In cheerful companies they now and then fell off the branches, flying from tree to tree, on the fly their flocks either shrank or stretched. It looked like all the sparrows were tied together with rubber threads.
In front of my nose, some kind of midge was flying carelessly in the air. Butterflies fluttered over the flowerbed. On the bench on which Kostya and I were sitting, little black ants were running. One ant even climbed onto my knee and began to bask in the sun.
"That's who probably has Sunday every day!" - I thought, looking with envy at the sparrows. Without taking my eyes off the acacia, I began, probably for the two hundred and fiftieth time, to compare my life and the life of a sparrow and came to a very sad conclusion. It was enough to look once to make sure that the life of birds and various insects was carefree and simply wonderful; none of them expected anyone, no one studied anything, no one was sent anywhere, no lectures were given to anyone, no one was given a shovel ... Everyone lived by himself and did whatever he wanted. And so all my life! All days are painted pink! All the time - a holiday! Seven days a week - and all Sundays! And Malinin and I have one day off every seven days, and is that really a day off? So, just one name. And it would be nice to live at least one day like this, as these happy ants, or sparrows, or butterflies live, just so as not to hear these verbs, which from morning till night are pouring on your unfortunate head: wake up, get dressed, go, bring, take, buy, sweep, help, learn! It's not easier at school either. As soon as I appear in the classroom, only I hear from Zinka Fokina:
“Oh, Barankin, be a man! Do not turn around, do not cheat, do not be rude, do not be late! .. "And so on, and so on ...
Be human at school!
Be human on the street!
Be a man at home!
And when to rest ?!
And where to get time for rest? Of course, you can still carve out a little free time, but where can you find such a place for rest so that absolutely no one interferes with you doing everything that your heart desires? And here that incredible idea occurred to me, which I had long, secretly from everyone, hatched in my head. And what if you take and try to o-su-sh-vit it! Implement today! Now! Perhaps there will never be a more suitable moment, and perhaps there will never be a more suitable atmosphere and mood either! .. First, you need to tell Kostya Malinin about everything. Maybe not worth it? .. No, it's worth it! I'll tell you! And there whatever happens!
- Malinin! I said in a whisper. - Listen to me, Malinin! .. - I almost choked with excitement. - Listen!
Of course, if I didn’t need to study on this day off, and then also work in the school garden, then perhaps I would never have shared my incredible and unheard-of idea with Kostya, but the two that flaunted in my diary, and the shovel, leaning against me with its handle, overflowed, as they say, the cup of my patience, and I decided to act.
EVENT SEVEN
The world's only instruction
I once again looked at the windows of our apartment, at the sky, at Vorobyov, at the gate, from which Mishka Yakovlev was about to appear, and said in a truly excited voice:
- Kostya! Do you know what my mom says ?!
- What? - asked Kostya.
- My mother claims, - said L, - that if you really want to, then even a snub nose can turn into an aquiline!
- In the eagle? - asked Kostya Malinin and, not understanding why I was talking, stared at the wall of our house, on which it was written in chalk:
BARANKIN FANTASER UNHAPPY !!!
- In the eagle! - I confirmed. - But only if you really want to.
Malinin looked away from the fence and looked incredulously at my nose.
My profile was the exact opposite of an aquiline profile. I was snub-nosed. As my mother put it, I am so snub-nosed that through the holes of my nose that is lifted up, you can see what I am thinking about.
- So why do you walk with such a nose, if it can turn into an eagle's? - asked Kostya Malinin.
- I'm not talking about the nose, you fool!
- And what about? - Kostya still did not understand.
- And about the fact that if you really want it, then you can turn from a person, for example, into a sparrow ...
- Why should we turn, for example, into sparrows? - asked Kostya Malinin, looking at me as if I was crazy.
- What do you mean why? Let's turn into sparrows and spend at least one Sunday humanly!
- How is it human? - asked the stunned Malinin.
- Humanly - it means for real, - I explained. - Let's arrange a real day off for ourselves and take a rest as it should be from this arithmetic, from Mishka Yakovlev ... we will rest from everything in the world. Of course, if you are not tired of being human, then you don't have to transform - sit and wait for Mishka ...
- How is it - not tired? I'm very tired of being human! - said Kostya. - Maybe more of yours is tired! ..
- Well! That's comradely!
And with even greater enthusiasm I began to paint Kostya Malinin that life, without any worries and hassles, which, in my opinion, awaited us, if we could somehow turn into sparrows.
- That's great! - said Kostya.
- Of course, great! - I said.
- Wait! - said Kostya. - And how are we going to transform? What system?
- Didn't I read it, perhaps, in fairy tales: "Ivanushka hit the ground and turned into a swift-winged eagle ... Hit the ground again and turned ..."?
- Listen, Yurka, - Kostya Malinin said to me, - is it necessary - to knock on the ground? ..
- You don't have to knock, - I said, - you can also with the help of real desire and magic words ...
- And where do we get the magic words? From an old tale, or what?
- Why - from a fairy tale? I made it up myself. Here ... - I handed Kostya a notebook, a notebook that no one had ever seen in the world except me. - Everything is written here ...
- “How to turn from a man into a sparrow according to the Barankin system. Instructions ", - Kostya read the inscription on the notebook cover in a whistling whisper and turned the first page ...
V. V. Medvedev
Barankin, be a man!
(The Adventures of Barankin - 1)
Part one
EVENT ONE
Shame on the whole school!
If Kostya Malinin and I had not managed to get marks in geometry at the very beginning of the school year, then perhaps nothing so incredible and fantastic in our life would have happened, but we got marks, and therefore the next day something happened to us - something incredible, fantastic and, one might say, supernatural! ..
At recess, immediately after this unfortunate event, Zinka Fokina, the headman of our class, came up to us and said: “Oh, Barankin and Malinin! Oh, what a shame! Shame on the whole school! " Then she gathered the girls around her and began, apparently, to draw up some kind of conspiracy against Kostya and me. The meeting went on throughout the break until the bell rang for the next lesson.
During the same time, Alik Novikov, a special photojournalist for our wall newspaper, took a picture of us with Kostya and with the words: “The deuce is jumping! The deuce is racing! " - stuck our faces on the newspaper, in the section "Humor and Satire".
After that Era Kuzyakina, the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper, looked at us with a devastating look and hissed: “Eh, you! They ruined such a beautiful newspaper! "
The newspaper, which, according to Kuzyakina, Kostya and I ruined, looked really very beautiful. It was all painted with multi-colored paints, in the most conspicuous place, from edge to edge, the slogan was written in bright letters: "Learn only for" good "and" excellent "!".
To be honest, our gloomy faces of typical Losers really somehow did not fit with her elegant and festive look. I couldn’t even resist and sent Erke a note:
“Kuzyakina! I propose to remove our cards so that the newspaper is beautiful again! Or, as a last resort, cross out the slogan! "
I underlined the word “beautiful” with two bold lines, and “cross out the slogan” with three, but Erka just shrugged her shoulders and didn't even look in my direction ... Just think! ..
EVENT TWO
They don't even let me come to my senses ...
As soon as the bell rang from the last lesson, the guys rushed in a crowd to the door. I was about to push the door with my shoulder, but Erka Kuzyakina somehow managed to get in my way.
- Do not disperse! Do not disperse! There will be a general meeting! - she shouted and added in a malicious tone: - Dedicated to Barankin and Malinin!
“And not a meeting,” shouted Zinka Fokina, “but a conversation! A very serious conversation! .. Sit down! ..
What started here! All the guys began to be indignant, clap their desks, scold Kostya and me and shout that they would never stay. Kostya and I yelled the most, of course. What kind of order is this? We didn’t have time, one might say, to get deuces, and on you - immediately a general meeting, well, not a meeting, so "serious conversation" ... It is still unknown which is worse. This was not the case in the last academic year. That is, Kostya and I also had two marks last year, but no one made any kind of fire out of it. They worked it out, of course, but not like that, not right away ... They gave me, as they say, to come to my senses ... While such thoughts flashed in my head, the headman of our class Fokina and the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper Kuzyakin managed to "suppress the riot" and forced all the guys to sit down. When the noise gradually subsided and the class was relatively quiet, Zinka Fokina immediately began the meeting, that is, a "serious conversation" dedicated to me and my best friend.
It is, of course, very unpleasant for me to remember what Zinka Fokina and our other comrades said about Kostya and me at that meeting, and despite this, I will tell everything as it really was, without distorting a single word or adding anything. push…
EVENT THIRD
As in the opera, it turns out ...
When everyone sat down and there was a temporary lull in the classroom, Zinka Fokina shouted:
- Oh guys! It's just some kind of misfortune! The new school year has not yet begun, but Barankin and Malinin have already received two deuces! ..
There was a terrible noise in the classroom again, but the individual shouts were, of course, intelligible.
- In such conditions, I refuse to be the chief editor of the wall newspaper! (This was said by Erka Kuzyakina.)
- And they gave their word that they would correct themselves! (Mishka Yakovlev.)
- Unfortunate drones! Last year they were nursed, and all over again! (Alik Novikov.)
- Call your parents! (Nina Semenova.)
- Only our class is dishonored! (Irka Pukhova.)
- We decided to do everything for "good" and "excellent", and here you are! (Ella Sinitsyna.)
- Shame on Barankin and Malinin !! (Ninka and Irka together.)
- Yes, kick them out of our school, that's all !!! (Erka Kuzyakina.)
"Okay, Erka, I will remember this phrase for you."
After these words, everyone yelled in one voice, so loudly that it was completely impossible for Kostya and I to make out who and what was thinking about us, although from individual words it was possible to catch that Kostya Malinin and I were idiots, parasites, drones! Once again, drones, fools, loafers, egoists! Etc. Etc!..
Kostya and I got angry most of all that Venka Smirnov was yelling loudest. Whose cow, as they say, would bellow, but his would be silent. This Venka's academic performance last year was even worse than that of Kostya and I. Therefore, I could not resist and also screamed.
“Red,” I shouted at Venka Smirnov, “but why are you yelling loudest? If you were the first to be summoned to the board, you would have won not a two, but a one! So shut up in a rag.
- Oh you, Barankin, - Venka Smirnov yelled at me, - I'm not against you, I'm yelling for you! What I want to say, guys! .. I say: you can't immediately call to the board after the holidays. We need to first come to our senses after the holidays ...
- Smirnov! - Zinka Fokina shouted at Venka.
- And in general, - Venka continued shouting to the whole class, - I suggest that during the first month no one should be asked any questions and should not be summoned to the blackboard at all! ..
- So you shout these words separately, - I shouted to Venka, - and not with everyone together! ..
- Oh, hush, guys, - said Fokina, - shut up! Let Barankin speak!
- What to say? - I said. - Kostya and I are not to blame for the fact that Mikhail Mikhalych called us first to the board this academic year. I would ask first one of the excellent students, for example Mishka Yakovlev, and everything would start with a five ...
Everyone began to make noise and laugh, and Fokina said:
- You would, Barankin, better not joke, but take an example from Misha Yakovlev.