Tinder is used by tens of millions of people around the world. Each of these people wants to quickly have a romantic relationship with someone with his help.
The Tinder app was created for people who want to make romantic acquaintances. It differs from others in that only those who like each other communicate here. Thanks to this approach, there are no intrusive interlocutors here.
From English, the word "tinder" can be translated as "tinder" - dry wood for quick fire lighting. Tinder helps rekindle relationships, adds spark to personal life.
The development and subsequent life of Tinder is divided into 6 stages:
- September 2012 - Hatch Labs introduced Tinder to the general public;
- January 2014 - the number of app users exceeds 10 million;
- December 2014 - the number of people wishing to get to know each other quickly exceeds 40 million;
- March 2015 - paid services appear;
- 2016 - implementation of the hidden rating function;
- January 2017 - the emergence of a manager in Russia responsible for the development of Tinder.
How Tinder works, main tasks
The main purpose of the Tinder app is to simplify the dating process and to provide an opportunity for communication only to people who are sympathetic to each other.
Using Tinder is simple: register, post suitable photos and fill out the form at least minimally. After that, set your search parameters and select potential partners.
How to use
During the search, the application will suggest hundreds of people to choose from. If you like the person, then swipe (move your finger across the screen) to the right. The user is not interesting - swipe to the left.
The conversation will start when someone you like doesn't like you.
Main functions
The main functionality includes:
- Views of profiles and the ability to communicate within geolocation. Swipe right to talk to someone. If the potential interlocutor does the same, then the conversation will take place.
- Matchmaker - Users introduce people to each other. With the help of this function, it has become easier to pair up for close friends from the environment.
- Sorting. This free service was launched in 2013. Thanks to her, profiles are now distributed by interest groups or locations.
- Moment's. Share vivid impressions of life with other people - thanks to this function, the application deletes the uploaded photos every other day.
Paid services: Tinder Plus
To use the features of the application to 100%, buy a number of features. It is noteworthy that the cost of services is different for everyone. For example, users under the age of 28 pay 4 times less than those who have already crossed this age line. Moreover, even the country matters. In the third world countries, a monthly subscription will cost $ 3, and in the USA - $ 19.
What do developers offer to mere mortals in exchange for their hard-earned money? Paid features include:
- Super Like. It attracts people's attention, but it is available for free only once a day. To increase this number to 5, you need to pay $ 30 per month.
- Complete lack of advertising. Included in the price of the main package.
- The ability to access all profiles of people from all over the world, regardless of geographic location.
- Chance to rewind if you accidentally make a mistake and click on the next user.
Tinder is very easy to use. The application continues to develop rapidly, and the developers promise the introduction of new interesting features. We will answer your questions in the comments.
“Tinder in 2017? Not everything has been said about him yet? Seriously?" Yes, deadly serious. Try to keep track of how much time you spend expecting a mutual like from that very shy blonde eleven kilometers away. And it's not so important whether you carefully look through profiles or give out likes to charity - it takes a lot of time. And the efficiency, one way or another, does not justify the time spent. Why? Because people still haven't been told how to use the tinder. Both sides are guilty, but the girls are guilty. And as always, they got away with it!
Tinderman: Start
If you are Matt Damon and have just returned from Mars or just recently ended a long-term relationship, then you may need some quick rules of the game. The very basics.
Profile: name, age, several photos and no more than 500 characters for a description of yourself. Filled out the profile - go to look at the catalog. I liked the candidate - press to the right, no - to the left. Are there mutual likes? A chat opens. There is a chance that the girl you like will never see you, so you can make yourself feel super-like (once a day). Or pay to promote your profile. But do such simpletons exist?
Most of the tinder texts focus on dating, but I want to focus on the profiles. Stories about the number of meetings, how many of them "moved to another level", how it happened and whether something happened next is a sure way to entertain the company. However, the chances of success, meeting the needs and goals of both parties could be higher if people had a different attitude to filling out profiles. Because it is the questionnaires that testify to a complete misunderstanding of the tasks of the application.
Let me give you an example. Imagine a collection, a compilation of men and women, young, beautiful and healthy, in a sense the best representatives of humanity, gathered in a closed area in close proximity to each other. Imagine they have a sex partner search tool. Would you like to be in this Eden? Then there was no need to give up skis for the "Dandy" and smoke breaks behind the garages! Described Garden of Eden - Olympic Village in Sochi in 2014.
What do you think athletes do when they are not competing? Are they meditating? Studying rival training videos with a wrinkled forehead? Oh yeah. They study. And not on video, but face to face. Know the very essence of each other, so to speak. Before tinder, this was more difficult. Just look at the number of condoms purchased for athletes. In the two years that have elapsed from the 14th Olympics to the 16th Summer Games in Rio, their number has grown from 100,000 to 450,000. Almost half a million condoms! How many lives would it take you to use them up?
This is an example of the correct, effective, enjoyable use of the tinder. I, of course, have not seen the athletes' profiles, but it is unlikely that there was anything other than a couple of photos and a minimum of text description.
Commodity, height, commodity
As for the misuse of the tinder ... To begin with, a more adequate name for the application would be "stadiometer". If you are tall, come in, rejoice, move your self-esteem to a higher shelf so that the halflings are not blinded by its radiance.
Sometimes height is the only thing that girls write in the "about themselves" section. Sometimes there is a postscript "since everyone asks", "since it is so accepted here." Yes, this is a "stadiometer", silly thing! It is so accepted here!
"Below 185 please do not disturb", "I am 175, please be higher than me"
... Only once did I see an argument that made me smile:
Okay, the idea is clear, but where did you get the idea that this is something bad?
As you guessed it, there is a self-interest here. Almost all of my girls were at least a little, but taller than me, and I do not see any problem in this. The instinct to choose the tallest, most powerful partner, protector and carrier of strong genes is natural. I do not condemn this (now there will be a "but") ... But we also seem to have to be individuals, a set of certain qualities. Still watching Game of Thrones? Don't underestimate those below you!
Again. Name, age, 6 photos maximum to show yourself from all the right angles. If education and place of work are listed on Facebook, they will be displayed. Well, and 500 symbols for the most important things, how old is your dog, your favorite Drake album, how was your day.
What conclusions can be drawn based on such information (okay, suppose it does not indicate the age of the dog, but your place of work, your favorite sport and your driving experience). It turns out that they are the most fateful. On this handful of data, the ladies cut off the unsuitable ones. The selection criteria are often quite cynical. The census is not so much anthropometric as property:
Although it happens all at once. You have no chance!
Well, not only women are to blame for this. They collectively and unconsciously worked out these criteria in an attempt to filter the flood of unfulfilled lust they encountered in the messages.
If your gaze is not like that of a Beverly Hills resident, then you can skip to the right!
I have not seen other people's correspondence, but a pre-prepared list of answers makes it easy to define this range of questions. Asking: “What are you looking for in a tinder?”, The man hopes for the answer: “I don't mind just having sex!”, As if porn logic works in real life. Thank you for tinder not allowing you to send pictures in messages! Women just react to the questions and suggestions of men, quite standard and primitive.
Tindering as an economy: manifestos contradictions
But I am only interested in one thing: your happiness and financial well-being!
Tindering (as an activity), like everything we do in a broad sense, is a manifestation of economic interest: to get the maximum benefit at the minimum cost.
Who are we? - Men!
What do we want? - Sex! Desirable without commitment! ..
Whenever we want it! - Always!
Who are we? - Women!
What do we want? - Concerns, romance, on vacation, wine, laugh, coffee, confidence in the future, that fur coat, chat with a friend, those shoes, sleep ...
When do we want it? - Wait, we're not done yet! Surprises, dance, ice cream, ride that car over there, teddy bear, hug ...
As long as you are firmly on your feet, I will have a good time with a girl from 20! And I won't let you see!
This distorting mirror, unfortunately, reflects the real market nature of relations in tinder. The male estimates what costs he will incur by spinning this baby, and the baby thinks if this male can afford it, and how to get more dividends from him.
I will not be "in half"!
Such a confrontation, by definition, cannot lead to anything good.
Honesty is the best policy to avoid many difficulties. Trying to seem more interesting than you are is pointless. Any man, even not very real, will immediately understand what's what. Unfortunately, for many it turns into a banal line: "I drink, I smoke, I swear." That is: “I don’t like it, don’t eat it.” Isn't it said too much in the following description: “I can't stay in one place for a long time, I want a family and a hearth. I can unexpectedly find myself with tickets in my hands and fly far, far away. " But what about the hearth, excuse me ?! It will fade away! What about children? They will not cry when they find out that my mother could not sit still, took tickets and is now far, far away?
It is even more absurd to come with a specific framework.
The main thing is to skillfully articulate what you are looking for.
"Only a serious relationship (by the way, where is the beginning and end of seriousness? Meeting parents is serious? Living together is serious? And periodic sleepovers? And marriage?" I don't have a very keen nose, but I can clearly feel despair!
Isn't it hopeless when all a girl has to offer is a couple of pictures of herself and a banner: “My reproductive organs are fine! (but for some reason my friends don't need it)! " Is this all that characterizes yourself as a person?
Be a male! Dominate! Put a superlike! Be like Christian Gray, in general. And don’t lie that you don’t know who it is!
Let me be branded an idealist, but I believe that we are evolved primates who, in the absolute chaos of the universe, have more than enough means to resist this chaos, organize and solve all the problems of society. We have everything for creativity and its distribution. We have reduced the severity of labor, made it easier for ourselves to get food, and accelerated our movement. Made it easier to find a partner for the evening, after all! Although with the latter, humanity has not coped so brilliantly.
Tinder's idea is great: Create an information space where loneliness ends. In fact, loneliness has multiplied, because instead of striking up a conversation with a smiling girl in the subway, escorting a classmate or colleague who is just waiting for this to the house, we swipe left and right and wait for a miracle. But it does not happen, because they did not grow out. Well, or have not yet hit the grid of the necessary tags.
Tags:
I did a little research and over the course of several days I recorded every time a certain tag appeared in the girl's description. Often one girl had several tags. I ended up with a recipe for absolute success in tinder. Illustrate half of the tags with your photos, and the other half (the one that is not confirmed) with a description, and you are in kings.
"Sex for one night" is, of course, something that the girl is supposedly never interested in. Sometimes it's funny to see the postscript: “I'm not like the others! Sex for one night - by! " Wait a second, but finding a girl who would write: "I don't mind" is a hundred times more difficult than vice versa! If everyone is not like everyone else, we get a logical paradox: “The next premise is correct. The previous premise is false. "
Oh, those boring sex-preoccupied needs ... in the bad sense of the word!
A fair question: are there any girls who write “not against” in the description, and who do not need to be promoted in a personal or on a date? There are. But these Pokémon are too rare (and no one will share them).
Tag "Real man". Everything is clear here. Only real men, only "serious relationship". Fake and frivolous - by! The next stage of this desperate search is the phrase: "Where have all the real men gone?" Or even just men? Luck with searching!
I am looking for a real man. Raising a little hero (from a fake man, of course)
The chat and friend tags can be combined into one category. This is a softer way of explaining that a man will have to work hard to achieve his goals! Breaking outside the friend zone after 18 is already somehow undignified ...
Until you have three children, you are doomed to remain a true friend.
I will make a reservation for those who believe that friendship between a man and a woman is impossible. Everything is possible between a man and a woman - from a joint breakfast to a flight into space! But by setting such restrictions in tinder, you cut off a fair share of the audience in which the very “fate”, which will be discussed below, could be.
Yes, "destiny." Mentioning about her, the girl, as a rule, expresses doubt that luck will smile at her, but still turns the handle of the slot machine out of despair. The message is here: "I am a decent girl, but I heard stories that people get married after meeting here ..."
In this regard, I would like to mention one more amusing phrase, which does not occur so often to turn into a tag, but still appeared enough to notice it. "Let's say that we met at the Tretyakov Gallery."
Tinder Full House: we met in a decent place and got into a couple of tags
That is, the girl is subconsciously ashamed of using a tinder, being under pressure from public opinion about dating applications as hot spots ... Until we get rid of shame, we will not have a normal tinder.
A great story turns out:
Guys, this is Tanya. I wanted to fuck, and she was looking for a druuuug ... And we met at the Tretyakov Gallery!
What else to stop at? Older women, by the way, like spiritually (at least) rich men. Spiritual poverty is unacceptable!
“I don’t write first, a man should write first” - this is a topic for a separate in-depth analysis. If a girl writes first, then the degree of her despair and hunger has already gone beyond the bounds of decency. Well, that's what girls say.
"Self-development". I have never been able to figure out what it is. For some reason, the girls who carry it on their banner do not write to me. Apparently, the shadow of self-development did not fall on my face. Perhaps it has something to do with the pictures behind the wheel in a leather interior or your cubes in the mirror? I really don't have any.
"Sense of humor", "black humor". A rare day will pass without girls who are crazy about humor, especially black ... It's all lies, dear readers. Bullshit, as the Yankees say. If you do not have that very imprint of self-development, that elusive "real masculinity", if, finally, your height is not 175+, or a diploma from the University. Monty Python, neither living in Springfield, nor the fact that your friends are called Ross and Rachel, will not save you. As an experiment, I like all profiles of girls that mention humor in any form. Even the funniest profile in the world (mine) does not contribute to the response.
"Vinishko" sounds more often than just "wine". Often the glass is present in the photo. Classics and decoration of any frame. Apparently, this is how the girls hint where it is better to lead them and how to treat them. And what will they do for long days, while her fate, a real man, will self-develop for the good of the family.
Typical example
"Travel addict", travel fan. Everything is clear in principle. It fits perfectly with the tag "active", which can be a lifestyle or a pastime.
Roundtrip
Another curious aspect of the questionnaires is connected with travel - filling them out in foreign languages. Going abroad, many girls write (as is correct, in English, and sometimes it is not very competent): “For three days in Milan / Madrid / London. Show interesting places! " Upon arrival, they usually "forget" to remove this information from the profile. And it is not updated instantly. Often the criteria in a foreign language are much more modest than in the native one. Discrimination?! Probably, the vacation just leads the girls into an indescribable euphoria, which softens their criteria. However, the number of fans of one night stand girls is still upsetting, which they also mention. Only serious relationships, guys. A doomed tactic.
Apparently, foreigners understand better what Tinder is really about. As for foreign women, there is also a whole set of criteria by which I, for example, do not fit. But everything is extremely specific, in the questionnaires they are not asking for a candidate for husband. Foreign women describe the criteria for a partner for the most short-term date. This is called "evaluating prospects soberly" and "appreciating your time." Lumping everything together is wrong and will lead to completely different results than the parties expect.
"No wedding before sex!" is not the best policy. Those who regard sex as the highest honor, the Order of Merit, devalue themselves. Is this the best that a girl has to offer? The last level? The highest reward should be personality, unity, understanding and acceptance of a partner in all aspects, including sex. If a girl finds an ideal, real man with whom she can't get along in bed, will it make her endure or look for another real man? Is it more effective to look for a lover among friends or a friend among lovers?
Tinder and similar applications should not be taken as a compass pointing to a spouse. And in general, one should not expect much from him. A few photos and a short description, at best, will provide a base on which to build further communication. But this is just one of the assessment methods, and if you don't want to come across the same people with the same questions, maybe you should try other assessment methods? Maybe you should add a little adventurism? I'm not hinting at anything, but I can't help but recall an ancient Chinese saying: “Sex is like pizza. When he's good, he's good. When he is bad, he is still good! "
Apps and sites dating has long ceased to be considered a "bottom", and registration on them - an indicator of complete despair. It makes no sense to deny the fact of their existence: not using them now is like ignoring smartphones or social networks. Of course, it is quite possible to live without them, but it is much easier with them. Yes, the mechanisms of communication and dating are changing before our eyes, but who said that this is bad, and, in the end, trying to resist these processes is a little pointless. We asked girls from different countries to share their experiences of using Tinder - the most popular online dating app - to understand how it works and how such dating is treated in the world.
Olya Strakhovskaya
Katya Birger
Before moving to Tel Aviv, I lived in London. There are a lot of strange people hanging around, living in the city recently. Well, where to meet people in order to drink beer on a lonely evening not with colleagues? Of course, in Tinder!
Therefore, the very first tinder date in Tel Aviv unsettled me: after half an hour we discussed with the young man how many children should be in the family and how old they should be. I soon realized that this was normal - my system of "not communicating with people with a blank profile" here led to the fact that I only met with guys "with serious intentions." The rest simply do not write anything in their profile. Well, or growth, yes, where is it without him.
Almost everyone is ready to go to the bars here at once - in a small city with a comfortable temperature outside, there is nothing complicated about it. Almost all of my heroes were serious, but then an extremely unpleasant feature of local dating was revealed: the main question when building a serious relationship is how Jewish you are. The people here are simple, they start asking such questions on the very first date. Well, why waste time - after all, adults are already, all to build a family.
A pleasant exception was a young man with whom we drank coffee at lunchtime, I complained to him that I had to transport a cat from Russia, and he helped me with all the documents: he sent a fax to the veterinary department, found all the forms for me, sent all the links ( most of the administrative information is not only not translated, but even for English-language search queries is not optimized) - that's something, but they like to help here. It's strange enough on dates to ask guys to transfer pieces of paper from the bank or register electricity bills, but I soon thought that this was better than matrimonial conversations. As a result, the Tinder Cavaliers solved almost all administrative and household immigrant issues for me. Well, then I met my prince in the same place in a shining iPhone - and now I have to do everything myself.
I am not doing very well with "Tinder" - for some reason he sends me notifications every other time, and I constantly miss invitations and remarks. So it takes a non-illusory interest on my part just to keep the conversation going. In addition, there is an interesting inflation of likes in Moscow: if you are not too lazy to look through the photos, I have several matches in one session. And we must take into account that I have a rather peculiar approach to the selection, but still there are a lot of matches. At the same time, about every twentieth person tries to even just talk, and not meet. That is, everyone likes everyone, but this almost does not lead to real contacts.
Indirectly, my theory is confirmed by the experience of a London friend - at his home, matches happened extremely rarely, and in Moscow - dozens of them every day, and he constantly met with someone. By the way, in my experience, the willingness to meet more often happens among foreign tourists and foreign visitors working here. What the rest of us need, I have no idea. Perhaps they are just having fun - I saw a lot of married acquaintances there. However, Tinder is still calmer and friendlier than most dating services because of the model of two-way contact approval, I really appreciate that, and all my dates, which started with Tinder, turned out to be extremely nice. It has not led to anything serious yet, but this is not necessary. My profile says “Let's meet and see what can come of it” - everything is like in life, where no one gives you any guarantees.
Maria Ivanova
30 years old, Europe
designer
Exactly a year ago in London, we were sitting in a cafe with my friends when they showed me Tinder: “Haha, you're not that desperate yet, are you? Look, there are such happy anglers here, and such handsome men in uniform, and there are such fat men too. Many people here work 12 hours a day, how else can they find someone? " At the age of eighteen, I would never have established anything like this for myself, I would have thought that it was not prestigious, not supposed to be, but now curiosity has overpowered everything else.
I used the app in London, Paris, Barcelona and Moscow, but the Anglo-Saxons, in my purely subjective opinion, are the coolest. Firstly, there is every fifth handsome man (we are used to seeing such people only in films in the lead roles), they are elegant, they have a wonderful tradition to appear at official events in a tuxedo - therefore there are a lot of photos of this kind. There are many funny things: Christmas sweaters, a permanent photo in a pub and always skiing or hunting - this is how everyone presents their hobbies.
They joke about English guys that they are so gentlemen that they transfer all the initiative to the girls. For girls from the East, this, of course, is unusual. In practice, this means that the bill for the dinner on the first date will most often be paid by the man, but then everything will be halved. I have the opportunity to compare this experience with other cities. For example, there are not so many users in Moscow, mostly visiting foreigners. If good pictures are uploaded, then most often reciprocity happens. In Barcelona, almost all Tinder clients are tanned brave guys with tattoos and an easy attitude to life. In Paris, dark-haired, there are few blondes, most of the guys are thin and with a serious look. Lots of black guys with rocking pictures. Not everyone is fluent in English. Someone is looking for a real friend, and someone is just one night stand, but, in principle, in each specific case, their own motive - and this is manifested in the very first dialogue.
I had two novels - with an Englishman and a Frenchman, each with an average of two and a half months, we met on neutral territory, divided the expenses equally, rode a motorcycle around Paris at night, admired wild horses in national parks and saw off the sunsets on the beaches. In general, everything is as usual, but sometimes it was necessary to prompt him to help carry your heavy bag or give his hand, and then tolerate a little that you are jokingly called a princess.
Apps like this certainly make life easier. Imagine several million users willing to answer yes or no: we could only dream of such an abundance of possibilities before. Spending about an hour a day at Tinder (many spend more on Instagram), you can review several thousand users in a week. According to my personal statistics, for sixty applicants, one will always be cool and interesting.
There is an opinion that “they used to fix things, but now they buy new ones”. If you transfer it to the plane of human relations, then it will seem too harsh and consumerist. Nevertheless, here you have a smartphone in your hands, you open the application, set the age parameters - and literally among the first hundreds of users you see someone who seems attractive to you and with whom you might be interested. Let's not compare this to a supermarket counter, but it turns out that when you find a partner, it's always worth keeping in mind that if something goes wrong, one of you will simply open Tinder again. Everything is as before, only simpler.
Sophia Kachinskaya
23 years old, USA
journalist
I installed Tinder and OkCupid at the same time in a boring line at AppleStore, because I wanted to give it a try for a long time, I was very worried about unrequited sympathy and was eager for attention and compliments (what a sin to conceal?).
Young people in the United States treat such fun much more evenly than in Russia. We have sites (applications) for dating - the bottom of your personal life, below which is only a club of old maids. In the United States, Tinder and other applications are used in general for any reason: both for one-time sex, and for finding a person with whom you can discuss the tax system of the Middle East and go home. By the way, I met one of my best friends on Tinder.
I've been using Tinder and OkCupid for about six months. Of course, I had to go through some very strange dates and get about a hundred unpleasant and simply unhealthy offers. At the same time, Tinder is quite a safe thing compared to other social networks for dating: you cannot be completely anonymous on it, because it is tied to Facebook. In my city, they generally use it to make everything faster and not be distracted anymore: almost all young people here are students, half are undergraduates and graduate students, no one has time to look around, so flipping through Tinder in the queue suits everyone.
I know three couples who met on Tinder, and I myself meet a wonderful person who wrote to me four months ago on OkCupid. By the way, he and I constantly giggle, watching how some begin to get lost and embarrassed when we say how we met, as if we did something inappropriate. After all, there is a whole layer of people who believe that a relationship that started on Tinder or something like that is doomed to fail. Well, there can be a million reasons for failure in a relationship, and mutual likes on Tinder are not included.
Anastasia Tikhonova
32 years old, UK
photographer
It is a well-known fact that Tinder originally appeared as an app for quick dating, but like any phenomenon that is gaining a mass character, its specific purpose has long disappeared. People there are looking for everything: sex for one night, wives and husbands, guides to new cities, a way to dull loneliness. The format, in which the only criterion is photography, suited me, the photographer, ideally. When I was still in a relationship, I enjoyed picking potential babies for my gay friend over a glass of wine at a bar, and when my love life suddenly collapsed, I just downloaded Tinder to my phone. I started using it in Moscow, where I went for a couple of months for resuscitation.
Tinder has become for me a kind of guarantee of anonymity, a way to find partners outside the "hangout". I remember the very first match worked out with a bang. A boy from the States, who came to Moscow for a week, simply asked to show him the city. Well, I showed it. She returned to London in September and started using Tinder as part of the “Don't be depressed” program. I went on dates as if to work, because I knew that it was worth lying on the couch and tears would flow over the ex. In general, it was a rather turbid period: a bunch of strange meetings, the feeling of modern relations in society as a kind of fast food - people no longer want to make an effort to please. Messages like "hello!" I didn't answer. Only an individual approach, ha ha. The main criteria for choosing men were the presence of taste and brains. Later, the main criterion was different - "adequacy", since there were a great many freaks.
Once a man just ran away after a glass of wine, muttering something like the following: "I do not have this unmistakable feeling that you are the only one, and I have little time." Another man on the third date admitted that he was in love, after which he completely disappeared. There was a boy who, unfortunately, I really liked - he made an appointment and disappeared the day before. And so five times. There was just sex. At a certain moment, fatigue and disappointment rolled over, human stupidity seemed boundless. Simple logic prevented me from demolishing the application: if I use Tinder, there must be someone like me. Fun fact: If you use Tinder in southern Europe, say Spain, guys can easily rent out their apartment. Very nice. Otherwise, everything is just like everywhere else.
I met my boyfriend on Tinder. It was the shortest correspondence in history. He wrote that he would like to get to know me better, but not like that, but at dinner, and left the phone number, which I called, being in complete dullness and blues. We met on the same day, December 31, the evening of which smoothly turned into the New Year. And since then we have hardly parted. I'm very happy. Well, let's see.
This article is based solely on my own practical experience, any opinion expressed is subjective. For some ideas and tricks, special thanks to Timur Kotov, the Men’s University project.
Introduction
It's no secret that with the widespread dominance of various gadgets at the present time, online communication in social networks, even with strangers, is quite commonplace and is perceived normally.
Below, you can get a book by Anton Inozemtsev, in which he tells his life path from a nerd to a successful man. And a bunch of other nice bonuses!
At the same time, dating sites and applications for many still seem to be something repulsive due to stereotypes that online dating is the prerogative of losers who cannot meet live.
So what if you want to get acquainted without going out with people who do not sit on dating sites in their classic form, but have a positive attitude to communication on social networks and want to find a couple?
Are you using Tinder for dating?
No, I use other networks 8%, 5 of votes
No, I like real acquaintances 6%, 4 vote
2018-01-12
Tinder (and other similar applications) comes to the rescue. Basically, Tinder is a mixture of a dating app and some kind of social. networks (the latter even upwards, because it is possible to link your account with Instagram). The principle of the application is that random strangers exchange likes, and only after the coincidence of sympathies, they can chat if desired.
Dear friend, if you follow the tips described below, you will be able to interest and pull the girls you really like on dates, and not be content with “average” options. It will be possible to gain new communication experience and increase self-esteem, which will give self-confidence, which girls greatly appreciate.
Your profile
Photo
The profile should have at least 3 photos where you are alone, so that the girl understands who the owner of the profile is. It is desirable in different ways (clothes). In the photo, it is preferable to look past the lens, as if the photo was not taken on purpose. Smile or be serious - which is closer to you or how you do better.
Show your strengths. Choose angles and clothes depending on your physique. If you are tall, take a full-length photo, if not, then it is preferable to take a photo up to the waist. The same applies to the presence / absence of muscle mass, fullness / thinness, etc. You might think that this move looks like cheating, but you are just showing your best side in order to visually interest the girls. By the way, they do the same, this will be discussed further in the paragraph “Expectation / reality”.
Show that you are active and versatile: upload photos from work, photos from travels, photos with animals, a photo in which you are busy with your hobbies, hobbies.
It should be clear from your profile photos that you are an adequate person and that you can meet in real life.
Photoset
Book a photo session, yes! don't know how to pose, read articles, watch videos, invest in yourself. Ask the photographer for guidance on how to hold your head, arms, etc. For higher emissions, choose a female photographer. And before that, it's also advisable to spend time shopping with a stylist who will dress you so that other girls like you.
Selfie
If you position yourself from the point of view of a serious and successful (promising) man, then you should have photos taken by other people so as not to look as if there is no one to photograph you except yourself. For your profile, do not put a photo in the mirror of a rocking chair, lift eyes, a selfie while driving a car (especially if it is not yours). The only acceptable option for a selfie is a photo where it is not visible that it is a selfie.
Old photos
It's great if you have good and / or professionally taken photos, but if they are more than a couple of years old, forget about them. Naturally, not all people are subject to strong external changes over time. But imagine that you are posting a photo 5 years ago. Now you may be wearing a beard, the style of clothing has changed, you look corny, etc., you will come to a meeting from the present, and not from the past, leave false expectations behind as well.
Below the field with uploading photos there is an option to connect an Instagram profile. It makes sense to connect it if you have a really good account with high-quality photos, consistent themes and some number of subscribers (at least> 100). Otherwise, let a few profile photos speak for you, specially selected to highlight your strengths and hide weaknesses.
Description
There must be a description and it must be original. Most of the girls are curious creatures, good photos alone will not be enough for some of them, they will want to look into your head, at least a little. By volume - you don't need to use all 450 characters, just a couple of lines are enough. All the points described below can be combined with each other for greater efficiency.
I. You describe your qualities. " I am cheerful, active, independent, purposeful" etc.
Likes / Dislikes. You describe your tastes: “I like sports cars, vinyl records, relaxing with friends,” etc. "People who smoke do not like, unjustified expectations, jellied meat"
What do you like about girls. Do not write that you want to meet such and such a girl, this is understandable, since you are in Tinder(especially in the style “I am looking for a slender blonde with full lips and 3 size breasts”)). Better write your preferences: “Girls like sincerity, care, ability to cook, devotion to their man”, etc.
Call to action. Here you need to force the girl to perform the action that you need. "If you are looking at my profile now, smile and swipe to the right, suddenly we are made for each other." If Instagram is connected, you can write in the spirit: "After reading my description, you need to go to Instagram to exchange mutual likes;)"
Does dating on Tinder bring results?
Poll Options are limited because JavaScript is disabled in your browser.
2018-01-12
Humor. Girls appreciate wit and humor. This can and should be built into all the previous paragraphs. You can make a completely comic description, you can insert some kind of separate joke at the end. "I am looking for a girl for family dinners with my parents so that they stop thinking that I am gay)"
Some girls point out height / weight / foreign languages... Again, you can emphasize your merits. If you're tall, indicate it. If the height is average and you want to designate this, in order to avoid misunderstandings during a personal meeting, you can write about it in the original form like: “Growth like Tom Hardy” (or some other famous person) - let them google.) As for languages, you can write in style: "Fluent English with Soviet accent)"
Position / company / school. One of the algorithms for selecting the proposed questionnaires in Tinder is based on finding matches at the place of work / study. In order for us to be offered a larger number of pretty girls in the search results, in the field “school” we put some kind of humanitarian university - pedagogical or linguistic. If you like foreign students - write “RUDN University”)
Settings
At first glance, it may not seem very important, but the number / quality of the girls selected will depend on these indicators as well.
Distance range
It is not important here, the main thing is not to set 2-3 km, simply because the number of options selected will be small. Even if the girl lives far away, you can meet in the center of your city after work / school, but it is preferable to set the radius of no more than 30 km.
Age range
Here everyone has their own preferences. But good advice: put your really valid option by age range. If, for example, a girl is older than you and looks good, you can have quite an interesting time and get a new experience.
Finding a pair
About girls' profiles
Not all girls sit in Tinder in order to get acquainted, therefore, if you are interested in a particular girl, we evaluate the questionnaire and read the description. There are several types of non-core profiles.
PR page on Instagram
Usually, this is a set of likes and followers. Here you need to feel a certain edge. If a girl of model appearance has 10k + subscribers, on the page of photos of advertising products and so on, then she is either looking for a prince, or not in order to get acquainted. You can try to write in any case.
Just communication
They are mostly interested in how and what, they may have a young man and / or want to see how other guys evaluate them, what they write, etc.
The identification of such profiles will be described in detail in the Communication section. Either they just drain you)
Fan
These are the same funny screenshots with inadequate descriptions or pictures / memes instead of photos.
Telegram channel: https://t.me/fucktinder. We laugh a little and scroll further.
Fake
This is almost always one photo of a girl without a description. Here, the FindFace service will help, which will be written about later. Plus, fakes are often written first, so this is also an additional sign. In the example on the screenshots, the real owner of the photos is in a relationship. Therefore, it is unlikely to sit in Tinder.
Surfing / swiping
The process of flipping through questionnaires and likening profiles. Has some nuances.
Optimal time
This is lunchtime in the area from 12 to 14, because girls are also looking for partners in their free time, usually 2-3 couples are formed. An additional good time is Sunday evening from 21:00. Several pairs are usually formed by Monday morning.
Effective approach
You don't need to spend too much time looking at profiles, either yes or no, you don't need to bargain and do yourself a favor, strive for the best.
It makes absolutely no sense to like profiles with one photo. When forming a pair, look at the girl's profile again in more detail, if you don’t like it, then if you don’t write to her, you will not be banned in the application.)
You can delete such couples so as not to be confused with the girls you like who have not yet written.
Raising the level
If there are no mutual swipes with girls you really like, download your profile / yourself. This applies to style, hairstyle, clothing, etc. The idea is to create a cool image, exactly the image! It's okay that when you meet you will look a little different, believe me, the girl in most cases will not look 100% the same as in the photo, so in general this is not a deception, but a tactical move to increase conversion.
Like or superlike
Of course a superlike! 80% of the correspondences shown in the screenshots are formed with girls who have been super-liked.
Here, as in life, you need to take the initiative yourself and choose those girls that you like, and not wait until someone likes you.
In the free version of the application, 1 superlike is given per day, in Tinder Gold 5 per day. There is a function for buying super likes.
The essence of the function is that the girl you super-like will immediately receive a notification about this, so the speed of pairing and the transition to communication is higher than waiting until after your like, you will get into the girl's profiles.
Paid chips
Paid features provide some advantages in terms of speeding up pairing, but you can do without them.
Tinder Gold
Gives a set of additional chips such as an unlimited number of likes, choosing a location, canceling the last swipe, etc. The main function for which you should purchase the gold version is displaying the profiles of the girls who liked you.
Boost
Places your profile in the top of the offered profiles in the selected region for 30 minutes.
A good result is obtained if you push a certain number of profiles before the boost, then the chances that your profile will be offered to liked girls increases significantly.
This is much more effective than swiping after a boost. The principle works again "You choose, not you".
There is an option to swipe during boost, this is something in between the two options outlined above, has an average efficiency.
Tinder Gold + Boost
The most efficient and fastest way to pair.
With the correct use of all the above tips for creating a profile and applying a boost at the optimal time, we get from 30 likes + 3-5 formed pairs with girls whom you liked before starting the boost (approximate data for Moscow).
The biggest conversion is usually obtained when the boost is launched on Sunday night.
Communication
Expectation / Reality
Before starting a conversation, remember the value of your time. It makes no sense to go to a meeting, trusting 3-4 profile photos in the application.
Be sure to look for and view Instagram / VK profiles with a large number of photos from different angles.
It is clear that in the social. networks, the photos are a little embellished and differ from real life, but in any case it will save you from very dumb cases.
| Tinder | VK |
 |
 |
A great option when the girl has Instagram connected. Do not forget to also look through the “photos with friends' marks”, they show a more real picture.
If you really like a girl, and you don't want to wait until a couple is formed with her in Tinder, then go to her Instagram profile and if you have your own decent account:
a) We write to direct.
b) Likes 2-3 photos, if there is reciprocity on her part (liked your photos), write to direct.
c) If there is no decent Instagram account, but there is such a VK, and if the girl has her VK profile in the description, write in a personal message.
We are waiting for the reaction. He will answer - well, he will not answer, we will score, go to the next questionnaire.
VK + FindFace
FindFace is a service that allows you to find a VKontakte profile by a photo, and it is not necessary that the photo you are searching for was in the profile. So:
a) We connect the service to our VK profile (this will not appear in the news of friends).
b) Take one or more screenshots of photos in Tinder.
c) Upload these photos, click search.
d) We are looking for matches by name, city.
e) We study the profile photo.
By default, 20 search attempts are given without the ability to go to the VK page. We connect a premium account for 150 rubles. per month, we get 70 search attempts and transitions to the found pages. In addition to studying photos, we get access to profile information: date of birth, city, university, interests, etc. This can help us in making assumptions when communicating. Naturally, it is not necessary to voice too obvious things, so as not to frighten off.
If a girl has few VK photos, there is no link to Inst in the information, we go to her friends, look for who has Instagram in the information, try to find the profile of the girl of interest in subscriptions or subscribers.
What to write (Openers)
Try to avoid obvious patterns here, the girl can feel the use of blanks and merge.
Be sure to mention the girl's name when writing, you can notice some things in her description, appearance or details in the photo.
It is also important to remember: we exclude any communication on YOU with a girl. Both of you are not that old)
In the examples, the proposal to chat over tea / coffee in a cafe appears almost everywhere.
Firstly, because in the fall it is not always comfortable to walk because of the weather, and secondly, it voices what you will do when you meet, which forms additional trust in you on the part of the girl.
Direct
We write to the girl that you liked her + some kind of compliment.
In some cases, it works well, because you have already liked each other, although there are naturally exceptions.
Context
You can cling to the description, for example, if a girl is fond of something, make some remark on this topic and try to promote this direction.
In general, it turns out a kind of social communication.
Direct context
We act according to the compliment + guess scheme.
If there is no answer, you can joke in the style: “It looks like something with the application, messages are not delivered” or “Further, it was assumed that you would answer such and such”. If after that silence, we hammer it, you can remove it from the steam so that it does not irritate the eyes. It is also worth paying attention to the response time. If a girl answers you every 2 hours, and you in a minute, then in her eyes, you show an increased interest in her or you have too much free time. We answer either exactly after the same amount, or a little longer.
Errors
All sorts of obvious things, but just in case. Avoid writing messages that regular guys in Tinder write (no offense)). Messages that girls are bombarded several times a day, and to which there is naturally no desire to respond.
Hi, how are you? A template template that makes 99% of people sick of correspondence. Just “Hello” and waiting for a response is also not the best option for a first message.
Tell me about yourself. Some information may be in the description, even if not, then a girl who values her time is unlikely to paint her autobiography upon request.
Why are you here? Described in detail in the section "About girls' profiles". In general, goals can vary, but the main thing is acquaintance, so there is no point in asking about it.
Excessive admiration.“You are so beautiful, I will give you flowers, take you to a restaurant,” etc. Such sayings immediately place you in the sponsors section or the friend zone, we are not here for that.
Number + appointment
Quite a reasonable question: “ Why not make an appointment right in Tinder?“Getting a phone number takes you and the girl to the next stage of communication, more trusting, as if you are her acquaintance, and not some left-handed guy from a dating site (difference in positioning). Plus, you can simply call this number, about the advantages of a call over correspondence further.
We take the number
After talking a little about one of the schemes in the "Openers" point, we try to take the number, explaining why we need it, while the compliment call works well " I'm not here often, I think you are too”, Which was already given in the examples above.
a) We write that we want to meet, the number is needed for a substantive conversation on this topic.
b) We write that the number is needed to transfer communication to instant messengers such as wots app
If, after asking to drop the number, the girl does not answer or sculpts some excuses, then she is not here to get acquainted and go on dates. These are not interesting to us, so we score and write next. There are cases when a girl created a profile for the sake of interest and does not go into the application anymore, we also do not dwell on such. There are options when a girl herself asks for your number, in this case you can be persistent and write in the spirit: "I will write down your number myself, because I believe that the initiative is always on the side of the man."
Call / video call
We use it in the case when you really like a girl, because if she really looks good, she will probably be inundated with messages even by those to whom she left her number. By calling we bring ourselves to an even higher level in her eyes.
- Ringing out. Classic. There is a great video on this topic from Anton Inozemtsev.
- Video call. Very cool theme, you need to look good and have a decent background in the background. It gives us an idea of what a girl looks like in life, and communication that is close to real.
We call 1 time, call back in 2-4 hours, if there is no answer, we send SMS in a humorous form like “I can't get through to you directly”. If after that he does not answer, we score.
Messengers
Do not forget about having a decent photo of yourself in your profile.
- Video note. Preparation is similar to a video call. Writing down your date invitation. A very effective way, because the chance that someone has already done this for a girl is quite small. There is a chance that this will be a kind of challenge for her and she will record her answer in video format.
- Audio note. We write down the invitation to a date in a low, calm voice, pronounce the words clearly and legibly. Also gives an additional positive image of you.
- Correspondence. If it is not possible to fulfill the previous options, we use messages in instant messengers or SMS. This is the least efficient way to make a date, even if it takes longer.
Below is a video from Panfer on whether to date at all:
Conclusion
To summarize, I would like to talk about how dating apps can help in the topic of seducing girls in real life. With the help of applications, as it were, the element of the approach that is present in a live acquaintance is abolished.
It is replaced by sending an email to a stranger. Therefore, if you can't force yourself to come up on the street or in another place, and you want to communicate with girls, you can try to go on dates right away.
Did the article help you?
Hi, my name is Ksyusha, and I never meet in a cafe, on the street or on public transport. Still, I've gone on dozens of dates in recent months, and my phone keeps buzzing with offers to dine with another boyfriend candidate - all thanks to Tinder! I'm sure most of you are aware of the existence of this instant dating app. If you like a guy - you put a "like", not your type - you send it to the "basket". If you like it too - start the correspondence.
Foreigners tend to be the most active on Tinder. They are of two types. The first came to Russia on vacation, the second - the expats working in the "Moscow City". I managed to communicate with both. Italian Lucas has long dreamed of visiting our capital, and with the help of Tinder he found an excellent Russian-speaking guide - in my face. With glasses of coffee, we walked around the entire center, from Red Square to the Bauman Garden. Honestly, Lucas was good at everything: handsome, in a deliberately casual suit, working in a bank and fluent in three languages. And even if he said that he didn’t know who Juliet Mazina was, but the unfamiliar grandmother, seeing us at the crossing, threw up her hands: "God, what a beautiful couple!"
In general, everything was fine except for one thing: a couple of days later Lucas packed his suitcases, left a generous tip to the head waiter at Four Seasons and went to sunny Italy to tell his fellow financiers about an unforgettable vacation in exotic Russia.
There are also extremely persistent interlocutors. They don't give up even after weird responses to the banal "What are you looking for on Tinder?"
In order not to step on the same rake, I stopped "like" overseas beauties looking for entertainment for the weekend and switched to expats. However, after a couple of meetings, the impression was that these "migratory birds" had noticeably clipped their wings, sending them to work in harsh Russia. An architect from Turkey never tired of complaining about the fierce cold in the office, where he vegetated in the literal and figurative sense of the word; German Mark, who works in the Moscow branch of a large media holding, was completely worn out by constant traffic jams, price tags in stores, queues at restaurants and too accessible Russian girls. Perhaps the only exception to these suffering men was the Dane Jan. He is much older than me, wears a fashionable beard and treats everything with mind-blowing cynicism. But even the assortment of craft beer in the pub was much more interesting to him than regular meetings with me.
I'm afraid you are ready to reproach me for my lack of patriotism - but do not worry: I left meetings with compatriots "for dessert." Two of them hold honorary leading positions on the list of the worst rendezvous of my life. By the way, Russian men on Tinder are also divided into quite obvious groups. Athletes post pictures in ski suits and with a snowboard under their arms. Those who are a little less fortunate are content with selfies from the rocking chair. Hipsters love b / w, New York and reflection in shop windows. It is even easier to recognize office plankton - they are always in a tie, sometimes they broadcast something with a microphone at the next advanced training courses, completely devoid of imagination - they pose at their desk. Many of them have studio portraits on their avatars. You look at them and you immediately understand: the candidate is more than serious. In my case, such a responsible approach to business causes only a pitiful smile.
Where can we go without online harassment! Some men still use the technique of hints at the station, while others ask head-on: "Girl, are you not interested in sex with a stranger?"
However, I will not hide, and I have my weaknesses. And one day they took me on a date with a boxer. Anton looked just like Rocky Balboa, and his profile indicated that he was a member of the MMA Club, that is, a participant in world fights without rules. I put "Like" without hesitation. I really liked his assertiveness: from the very first message he wrote: "I propose to meet!" Anton insisted on going to the cinema, and I attributed this to innate shyness - they say, if it is completely awkward, you can watch the film. It all went wrong when it turned out that the gothic drama Scary Tales I had chosen was too intellectual a show for such a cowboy. He spun in his chair for a long time, scratching himself, coughing and letting go of humorous (in his opinion) comments. Then he completely buried himself in the phone, and - oh, horror! - after half an hour, the battery ran out, and the iPhone turned into a useless heap of iron. I will not go into details, but when the final credits appeared on the screen and the lights came on, Anton silently stood up, hit the back of the next chair with all his might with his fist and left the hall. As you can imagine, it was a complete knockout! The second worst date was with a man of the opposite temperament. Slava is a pianist who goes on tour with a "support group" of fans who dream of turning the notes for him.
Intrigued by married girlfriends ASK: “IS THERE LIFE AFTER TINDER? OR IS THIS PARTY WITHOUT AFTHEPATI? " I AM SURE - SPONTANEOUS DATING ON THE INTERNET HAS A FUTURE!
We met in a cozy coffee shop on Ordynka - and soon I realized that we would not be able to talk. During my superficial (as, probably, it seemed to him) story about myself, Slava hummed something under his breath. But as soon as he hinted at his career, he immediately began to give out whole chords from some works and bawl his favorite fragments of symphonies, beating the rhythm with his palms on the table. Do I need to say that absolutely all the visitors of the cafe looked at us? The bored waiters immediately woke up and lined up along the bar to gawk at the "concert". And I tried to treat the situation with humor, but after an hour I could not stand it and surrendered from the scene of hostilities. So another aria turned out to be the last for Slava. Maestro, curtain! In fact, despite all my failures, pleasant acquaintances come to mind. They rode me on a motorcycle, fed me mango ice cream from Baskin Robbins, took me to the theater and to a private festival on the Bryusov ship. They made surprises for me, opened doors, wrote poetry at night. Once I almost fell in love ... Intrigued married girlfriends often ask me, “Is there life after Tinder? Or is it a party without an afterparty? " You know, I believe that spontaneous dating on the Internet has a future. You will say that this application has a bad reputation: it is easy to glue a girl "for the evening" or to dissolve an elderly womanizer for dinner in a restaurant. But wait, nobody gets to know each other in a church or library! And in nightclubs, the risk of bumping into a pick-up artist or a dowry hunter is also quite high. As much as everyone scolds Tinder, it teaches us to be honest about our desires. Some want sex, others love, others are looking for a companion ... Clearly formulate goals and let others know about them - and then "instant" acquaintances will bring you extremely pleasure! Well, while you are in doubt, whether or not you should download the application, I will go on another date. As an incorrigible optimist, I believe: this time I will definitely get lucky!
Usually I am invited to a restaurant or a movie. But there are also enthusiasts who offer a joint vacation from the doorway!
The main mistakes girls make on Tinder are:
1. Trying to win the hearts of bachelors, some girls are ready to bare not only the soul. If you decide to post candid pictures on Tinder, know that by doing so you will unequivocally hint at your availability - even if in fact you were raised by a strict grandmother.
2. Do not write first, even if you have a match with the earthly incarnation of Apollo. Tinder is very discouraging for men - give them the opportunity to think about how to get your attention with one phrase!
3. Yes, Oxford scientists called the word of the year "emoji", but this does not mean that you should communicate exclusively with emoticons. Even the banal "Hello" is not as annoying as LOL.
4. No one disputes that all ages are submissive to love, but make sure you set the age scale correctly. When a 19-year-old student's profile is followed by your dad's classmate profile, it is extremely difficult to make a choice.
5. Don't post pictures of you posing with your boyfriends - even if they're your best friends. Men see these pictures with an imaginary caption: “Me and my ex. He dumped me, but I'm still killing myself for him. "
SUBSCRIBE