In childhood, for some reason, everyone tends to get sick in order to get away from school. And when you are over 30, for some reason you don’t want to get sick, and even vice versa: you dream of returning to the time when you were full of strength and health. Nevertheless, our attempts to get really sick in 5 minutes took place, nothing serious happened as a result of them. And now you can talk about it (mother will definitely not scold)
One day you must have gotten sick. My friend and I went to a street pump and began to drink ice-cold water from it (it was in winter). Then we went to the store, ate ice cream. And they fixed the result with a five-fold exit to the unglazed balcony barefoot in the snow. The next day the temperature rose in the region of degrees. The throat was red, but it did not come to a sore throat or bronchitis. The resulting effect was just enough to sit at home for 1 week.
This story is now already perceived as follows: Thank God that they did not “earn” anything more serious than a common cold. Experimenting with your health like that is nonsense. No test is worth it. After all, it may come to the hospital, injections, and then you will definitely regret that you so dreamed of getting sick.
In our time, there was no Internet, and therefore it was necessary to solve the issue by radical methods. But now people on the net describe quite harmless ways of completely and partially simulating the disease. They say that it is almost not dangerous for health. Here are some "bad tips" on how to get sick quickly:
- After a hot shower or bath, drink a glass of very cold fat milk (put it in the freezer for 20 minutes beforehand). Fat will cover the mucous membrane of the throat from the inside, and since it is icy, perspiration and sore throat are guaranteed.
- Open the window wide open in winter and suck on Holes thermonuclear candy or mint gum. Causes redness and sore throat.
3. If you take magnesium sulfate, which has a diuretic effect (1 tablespoon per 1 glass of water), there will be diarrhea. A similar effect will occur if you eat something not fresh or crunch a pickle with milk or kefir. By the way, they write that the combination of plum + kefir does not allow you to get up from the toilet for a long time.
4. Candles called "Glitselaks" also have a laxative effect. They are inexpensive, inserted into the anus, according to the instructions. They are used as a quick remedy for constipation and to cleanse the intestines from feces before examining a proctologist.
5. But the combination of iodine + sugar to raise the temperature can be dangerous. Yes, if you put 1 drop of iodine on a piece of refined sugar and eat it, the temperature really rises for real, but it can come to resuscitation.
6. Having eaten the lead of a simple pencil, you can also cause a temperature increase in yourself quickly, literally in 5 minutes. It's just not very appetizing food.
A personal way to raise the temperature, which always worked in school years:
- First, warm your fingers on the battery, and then press them against the thermometer. Warm-press. The temperature indicator will rise, but not really, but pretend. But you can show the thermometer to your mother and she will believe that there really is a temperature. I studied well, my behavior at school was diligent, so they always believed me.
And the most important advice: Take care of your health and do not do nonsense. It's better to get a deuce for a test once than to ruin your health 😉
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How to get sick and not go to school?
There are days when you don't want to go to school at all. A test for which I am not ready, terrible events or conflicts with classmates, all this is definitely not happy, and I just want to stay at home.
There are a lot of ways to get sick and not go to school, but there are 2 main ways to solve this problem: feign illness or really get sick. And although the second method is more reliable, it can lead to consequences that you don’t expect in any way: you planned to stay at home for a day, but spent a month in the hospital on droppers; wanted to cause nausea, landed in the hospital with poisoning and had to do a gastric lavage (and this is not a pleasant procedure).
How to fake illness so you don't go to school
- When measuring temperature, you can attach a thermometer to a light bulb, or dip it in hot water, but do not overdo it, 37.2-37.4 is enough to stay at home, but 42 will cause serious suspicion; and if the parents are very gullible - a real panic.
- You can rub your armpits with salt, in which case you can measure the temperature right in front of your parents and they will not notice anything, and the temperature on the thermometer will be high.
- In addition to the previous methods, for greater persuasiveness, you can heat your forehead with a hairdryer or a heating pad, this will help if the parents first decide to check your temperature with their own hands (literally and figuratively).
- You can put a drop of iodine on a sugar cube of refined sugar, the temperature will rise again, but the main thing is not to overdo it, otherwise you can already be seriously poisoned.
How to get really sick
So, if you think that your parents will not believe in a simple simulation, and you decide to get reliably and seriously ill and not go to school, then this is your and only your responsibility. There is a high risk that you will become seriously ill and spend a lot of time in the hospital with such actions, so you do not need to go for walks with wet hair or drink boiling oil, these are ways to commit suicide rather than skip school. Safer ways to get sick in 5 minutes a week:
- Drink cold in the heat - you can catch a cold or sore throat.
- There is ice cream on the street - you may have to eat more ice cream than you are used to and quite quickly. The effect will intensify if the weather outside is already cold or, conversely, hot and hot.
- Standing in the wind is again a cold or a sore throat, but take care of your ears if it blows them, inflammation of the inner ear will have to be treated for a long time and in a hospital.
- Scream enough - you will hoarse and your throat will hurt.
- Wet your feet while walking - relevant in autumn and spring.
Whatever method you choose, be careful, and it’s better not to hurt at all.
How to get sick before school
How often do you want to not go to school, especially when the control or just not hunting. Here's how you can quickly get sick in 5 minutes? Of course, you can't get sick like that. But in order not to go to school, you can just mow down that you are sick. This, of course, you can come up with in 5 minutes and not even noticeably deceive your mother.
The most common way is to increase body temperature. Say that you feel weak, that your head hurts and your whole body aches. In order to make sure that you are right, your mother will naturally make you measure the temperature. And here is a wonderful secret.
Look, you started asking me to make you hot tea. Then say that you feel unwell. The next step - mom will give you a thermometer to measure the temperature. And now the most important thing is to distract your mother for 1-2 minutes, so that you can stick the thermometer into hot tea and bring it to the desired temperature. Look, don't overdo it! The most optimal is 37.5. No more because above 38 they will start giving you all sorts of pills to bring down the fever. Or even better, a hysterical mom can call an ambulance. This has already happened to me, only I didn’t put a thermometer in tea, but put it on the battery. That was fun. Then I had to tell the truth that I deceived everyone. Another option, you can say that it's cold on your feet and ask for something warming in the form of a heating pad or a bottle of hot water under your feet. Then everything is according to the scenario: you say that you are sick, you measure the temperature for 5 minutes using a heating pad, and of course you won’t go to school anymore.
If mom suddenly calls a doctor, don’t get lost and don’t be scared, stand your ground. There are such types of viruses that a throat and cough is not necessary. Just a general weakness throughout the body and a very sore head. That's what you have to say in order not to go to school. And the temperature can jump both up and normalize by itself.
There is another option, how to mow down from the school. But this can be done by those who really, really, really do not want to go to classes. In general, you need to induce vomiting. Only for this it is better to have breakfast first or just eat. Then put two fingers in your mouth and press on your tongue, causing a gag reflex. This is how you can really get sick in 5 minutes. Vomiting is a very weighty argument to keep a child out of school, because it can be the cause of various diseases and can be repeated more than once a day. But, if you are feigning vomiting, then you should not turn on the temperature, since in the complex you can thunder into the infectious diseases hospital. Either one or the other is not worth it together. Here, I think everything is clear to you, but I will say that this process is not very pleasant.
And yet, how much effort does it take to deceive mom and doctors, do you agree? Is it better to go to school?
Comments (14) on “How can you get sick in 5 minutes and not go to school”
Guys, you better go to school. You will not have time to look back, as the school is already behind you. We begin to appreciate only when we lose. Let's be smarter and appreciate these days.
Vika, what if you were called to do homework and you didn’t do what are you going to do?
Cheating is not the best option!
Parents shouldn't do this!
try one tablet of nicotinic acid. many people are allergic to them. like 20 minutes red! and do not deceive and make your mother nervous, deceive teachers better. do your magic tricks at school
it's better to lie to your parents so that you don't go to school, I already did this when I didn't do my homework
But I know that you can’t lie, well, in such a case, you can not get 2
Hooray I DID NOT GO TO SCHOOL UUUUURRRRRAAAAA
Sasha. Mom knows that you are here)))
The best way to vomit is to take 1 tablespoon of soda and a glass of water, drink in small sips and wait a little, and what you were waiting for begins!
When I was at school I felt bad, I did this and threw up, then the teachers told me to go home!
It helps a lot and you don't have to lie.
1. She will check the temperature on her chin or on her arm. 2. Time will not drink tea, and if you eat in the morning, you will sit at the table, but in most families there is a dad, he will notice. 3. Maybe mom can send the sick to school.
Bravo, this excellent phrase is necessary just by the way
Definitely a great answer.
leave a comment
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How to quickly get sick and not go to school?
Refined sugar (or bread)
for 1 piece one drop of iodine.
Temperature 37.7 feel
you are just wonderful (you don’t notice the temperature at all).
It only lasts for 1 day max.
Caution: you can get poisoned, everyone has different organisms
and you can faint if the heart is weak
Sit in the winter at the open window naked
and scream whatever comes into your head)
Beware: neighbors may complain =)
You buy Rondo or Hols,
and breathe through your mouth through the window in winter.
10 minutes of uninterrupted breathing can
raise the temperature to 38.2, checked.
Cons: Sore throat. Of the pluses for 2 weeks, however, acute respiratory infections \u003d)
Pencil lead (not colored)
raises the temperature to 37.5-38, but only for 3-4 hours.
(tested personally on me) *__________*
Caution: mono choke or poison
Just get drunk on cold milk and go for a walk
We will need: Hairdryer 1 pc. Thermometer 2 pcs.
Take a thermometer, heat it on a light bulb to the desired temperature).
Hairdryer warm your head)
Approach the parent with a complaint of a throat, give a thermometer.
A parent may say that your thermometer is buggy
and what needs to be measured by others. Take another))) well, you understand)
We will need: Bath 1 pc. , Bucket 1pc.
Approach a parent and complain of stomach pains (poisoned),
and now you're tired. Having previously drawn water into the bucket,
you run into the bath and gradually (as if in jerks),
with the sounds of tashnilovka, pour water from the ladle into the bath)
come out with a face like you were forced to eat something
what they give us at school.
Mission accomplished. and so you can sit for 2-7 days)
Let it seem bonanal
but rub the armpits with salt (or garlic).
plain which you eat. and take the temperature.
up to 39 will jump =)
Take oil in a frying pan and heat it up
then you drink. Well, it doesn't hurt much, but a chemical burn from
sore throats can not be distinguished and the temperature is there and the throat is red.
Caution: you can really burn yourself all the insides
We take ice, a glass (from where vodka
drink (small (like 50 ml))) Crush ice,
but we don’t melt, like pieces of ice, but so that
swallowed at a time, pour 1/6 into a glass of cold water,
and pour ice. WITH A WAY AND AT A TIME WE SWALLOW! some teeth hurt.
The fact is that the ice does not have time to warm up and melts inside you.
Highlighting the cold there, or rather catching you from the inside
How to get sick before school
I offer you the fastest and most reliable way!
But for this you need geranium! Please note, not heroin is a drug, but an ordinary plant that helps against the common cold-geranium
You take it and put it in your nostrils stronger on a geranium petal, and that's it))
in five minutes your nose is red, you will constantly sneeze)) and you will definitely be left at home)))
I'm waiting for reviews))) and thanks! (Well, they won't leave me.)
17) I also tried to put two fingers in my mouth) Nausea did not go away for two hours, and if you do this several times you turn pale, you heat your forehead with a hairdryer. in short, I tried everything, everything helps, but tomorrow they will want to send me to school again! (I wouldn't wish this on my enemy)
18) you take a piece of chalk, draw a cross on the wall, move five meters away, run up, and head straight for the target! (the person who wrote this was already sick. all over his head)
stay at home lope hosh (super way!)
- The best from above
- First on top
- Topical top
174 comments
Iodine is useless in raising the temperature
Newfag replies in 369 days!
pf 2 hours. Norm you built a branch here. From school to mow is still such. I'm seriously trying to get away from the exam at the session
mow down from the exam - thing
when you realize that you can’t pass, well, that’s it. Or labs are not handed over for admission. Then you go to measures to take a certificate for that day
fuck knows how many years have passed, however, hello
I'll answer you in 417. Almost 317. Only cooler.
How to get sick at school without getting sick!
You are sitting in class, you are tired of all this, thinking about how to leave school, at least for a day. This can be done in a simple way, “getting sick” for half an hour. And now I will tell you how.
- The first way is temperature: first you need to donate a simple pencil. You must break it and pull the graphite out of it. Then measure 2-3 centimeters and eat it (this is tasteless (checked by me)). After about 3-4 or even 5 minutes, you go to the doctor or to the class teacher and say that you have a temperature, the doctor, without thinking, puts a thermometer in you, and you calmly put it under your armpit and wait for the result. The result is a temperature of 37.2 degrees (somewhere like that) and a calm trip home. After about a minute the temperature disappears.
- The second way is also to get sick with a temperature, but it is false. Before school, take a regular balloon. Come to school and sit for at least 1 lesson. Then at recess, fill a balloon with hot water (a little). Then again go to the doctor and say that you have a temperature. Before entering the doctor, stick the ball under your armpit, and put the thermometer under the arm where the ball is. The result is the same. Just do not overdo it with the temperature of the water in the balloon, otherwise it will be 40.0 degrees, then they will take you to the hospital)).
- The third and last method known to me is a lie. You come to the class teacher and say that today you need to go to the dentist and if the teacher is kind and good, then he will let you go.
That's all for now, but maybe with the new school year there will be new ways to leave school!!
How to get sick at school
It's amazing how many schoolchildren dream of getting sick so as not to go to school. It happens, of course. For such, below are several ways to get the symptoms of a cold, or worse, and quite quickly. However, it is better to think carefully before deciding on actions that are unsafe for health.
The simplest thing that comes to mind is to hold the thermometer in hot water or attach it to the battery. The main thing is not to overdo it and create a temperature in order to stay at home, and not get into intensive care by ambulance. For corrosive parents, you can warm your head with a hot stream of air from a hair dryer, and only then voice health complaints.
A very simple way that provides a real cold effect is to wash your hair and sit by an open window or take a shower (even better a bath) and do the same while the body is still warm. You can, of course, take a short walk in the fresh air, but if the parents are at home, they are unlikely to let you out. The method, of course, is not a quick response and must be carried out in advance, but depending on the state of immunity, the effect can be long-lasting.
But more efficient methods
Drop a drop of iodine on a piece of refined sugar or bread and eat. The temperature will rise to 37.70C, but not for a long time, for a maximum of a day. The main thing is not to get poisoned, because it is not known how the body will react, with a weak heart and fainting can be.
You can buy several servings of ice cream and concentrated mint gum. Eat alternately, then ice cream, then chewing gum. At a minimum, a reddened throat is provided.
Another extreme method is to crush the ice into pieces and pour it into a glass filled 1/6 with cold water. Swallow everything at once. The effect is that the ice becomes cold from the inside, starting to melt and exuding cold. For some, a glass of milk from the refrigerator will be enough.
Who would have thought, but the body temperature rises, almost to 39 C, if you rub your armpits with salt or garlic.
You can portray acute poisoning in front of your parents, talking about pain in the abdomen and severe nausea, rushing out. And then in the bathroom, with the help of jerky water poured out of the bucket, and the corresponding sound design, demonstrate your pain. The face is also made appropriate, well, 2-3 days of home treatment.
You can raise your blood pressure by drinking 2-3 cups of very strong coffee. The method is suitable when visiting a clinic or calling a doctor at home, and then 5 days to improve health.
No need to take these tips seriously and joke with your health, because you can really attract the disease. Yes, and loved ones will worry, and worry for real.
How to get sick quickly
Schoolchildren and students who want to take a break from school dream of getting sick quickly so as not to attend a week of classes. Yes, and adults sometimes get so tired from work, housekeeping and other worries, when there is not a single moment of peace, that they begin to think: “I wish I could get sick quickly!”.
Do you want to get sick in order not to go to school or raise the temperature, thereby getting a sick leave? There are four most common ways: high fever, food poisoning, runny nose, red throat. A high temperature does not require real symptoms of the disease, you can just play well. She can be caught up before the arrival of the doctor, she will disappear just as quickly. If you have a red throat, the doctor can see firsthand that you are sick, so other symptoms are not needed. A runny nose can also be caused by improvised means, but here you also need to back it up with a good game. Food poisoning is easy enough to cause, if your parents see that you are suffering from vomiting or loose stools, they will certainly believe you. But it must be remembered that your plans do not include getting chronic diseases or serious complications. Therefore, serious mistakes must be avoided.
- Go out with a wet head in the cold. You can get sick quickly, but also get meningitis, which is a very dangerous disease.
- Go out without a hat in the cold. This method will not work if your immunity is strong. But again, there is a danger of earning meningitis.
- Spoil the stomach. You can try to eat a large amount of spicy and salty to cause poisoning. But this may not work the first time, and if you apply this method constantly, an ulcer may form or gastritis may begin. And then for many years you will suffer with these diseases.
These consequences must be remembered. And if you are really sick, you need to urgently start treatment.
How to quickly get sick at home
There is a huge variety of tips on how to get sick quickly, and they are effective:
- Arranged draft will help to quickly get sick with a cold. Open windows or air conditioning will help you. It is much more effective if you still eat ice cream or a cold drink during a draft. Or sleep in a draft.
- You can catch a cold if you walk barefoot on a cold floor in an apartment, in winter - on the street - in autumn boots, in puddles in summer. Wet feet are a guaranteed cold.
- Help to get sick and physical activity. You need to sweat, and then go out into the cold.
- In the cold, take about 100 deep breaths. Provided, at a minimum - a red throat, as a maximum - pneumonia.
- To quickly get sick with a temperature, you need to drop a drop of iodine on sugar, and then eat this sugar. As a result - a huge temperature, and you are in intensive care, which is quite possible.
- You can quickly get sick with a temperature in a harmless way - warm up your armpit. Hold a small jar of hot water under your arm.
- You can take a shower, and then go outside steamed, after that you will quickly get sick with a temperature.
- If possible, do not harm the body - attach a thermometer to the battery. Relatives will believe that you are ill with a temperature. Imagine how they will worry about you.
- You can get a sore throat if you eat ice cream, chew mint gum, eat ice cream again - you are guaranteed a red throat.
- Try to get a virus. There will always be someone you know who has the flu. Ask to sneeze on you, then, with a weakened immune system, you can quickly get sick with the flu, the complications from which are unpredictable.
- In many ways, you can get sick with poisoning, for example, drinking stale juice. After that, poisoning, and possibly gastritis or worse, is guaranteed to you.
- Take a pencil, remove the lead, eat some. You will get sick very quickly, the temperature will rise to 40 ° C, and you will find yourself in intensive care.
- You can fool the doctor. Drink 2-3 cups of coffee, call a doctor at home, complain about high blood pressure. A couple of weeks of rest are provided, but coffee in large quantities can adversely affect the heart.
I hope that you will not take this article seriously, because a couple of days of rest are not worth it for you to get seriously ill. Don't joke with your health!
Skipping school can be quite difficult. If you're going to pretend to be sick, then a day off from school will require you to prepare and considerable acting skills. Even if you miss classes for a good reason, missed assignments will accumulate. But there are days when there is absolutely no energy to go to school! This is where our tips on how to convince your parents to leave you at home – for real or imagined reasons – come in handy.
Steps
Part 1
pretending- The sooner you start pretending to be sick, the more time you will have to show the deterioration of your condition. Demonstrate a little fatigue the night before. For example, instead of walking down the street after school, stay at home and lie in your room.
- Be sluggish in front of your parents. They should give the impression that you are tired and have no strength. In the evening, do not stick to your usual routine. If you watch TV, lie down and show no interest in anything. You should also go to bed earlier and make sure your parents notice.
- Add fire to the idea - eat very little at dinner or make an attempt to eat something, but grab your stomach, as if you were in sharp pain. Say you're not well. Of course skip dessert. You can also ask your parents to give you hot tea to soothe your stomach.
- Tell your parents that a classmate of yours threw up at school or that a friend missed school. Make sure it's a friend your parents don't know. This information will add fuel to the fire.
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Show symptoms. Externally visible symptoms, such as a rash, are difficult to portray convincingly, so in most cases, you should show external signs of internal pain.
Be unobtrusive but persuasive. One of the biggest mistakes is overplaying. If you act out your imaginary illness too dramatically, your parents may catch the fake.
- It is best to act out a simple ailment instead of pretending that you have some kind of illness for which proof is needed. Trying to make a vomit sound can be quite risky, as your parents may catch you in a lie. In the same way, if you want to play a high temperature and dip the thermometer into something hot, it can backfire on you.
- Don't protest too much when your parents tell you not to go to school. You might think that acting out worrying about missing class might be more convincing, and that staying home too much might arouse suspicion. But don't forget that if you really felt as bad as you're pretending, your parents wouldn't have to convince you to stay home. Hesitate before you agree, but don't act like you're too worried about skipping school, especially if that concern doesn't fit your role.
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Don't recover too quickly. Never forget that your parents may take you to school later if they realize you've recovered or that you've been faking it. If you want to skip school by feigning illness, you should keep that imaginary illness going throughout the school day.
- You should recover gradually throughout the day. Rest and be relaxed. By lunchtime, you may mention that you are starting to get better, but you are not yet well. By late evening, your recovery should be almost complete.
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Don't pretend to be sick too often. If you pretend to be ill too often, your parents may not believe you when you actually get sick and need to stay at home.
Part 2
We don't pretend-
Tell your parents if you are sick. This is the most common reason students miss school. If you are really unwell or think you are getting sick, tell your parents and ask to be left at home.
Stay at home if you are experiencing some kind of shock. For example, if you recently lost a family member, friend, or other person you were close to, your grief is a good reason to stay home and not go to school. Be honest with your parents about how much the loss has affected you.
- If the tragedy befell you but not your parents, you may think that it will be difficult for them to understand you. Grief is a universal feeling and most people can put themselves in your shoes and give you time to process the loss.
- However, you should understand that the period of sadness must end someday. Intense sadness can last for quite a long time, and it can be difficult for you to extricate yourself from this situation on your own. If you feel that after a few days to a week you are still unable to go to school, you should talk to a psychologist and ask him to help you through your grief.
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Be honest if you are being bullied at school. If you are the victim of a bully or a group of bullies at school, talk to your parents or other loved ones about it. Explain how difficult your school life has become as a result of the bullying and ask that you be allowed to stay away from school for a day or two until things settle down.
Ask to skip school. Tell Mom and Dad that you want to spend a special day with them and let them take the day off from work. This plan can work especially if you're graduating high school soon and going to college in another city, or if it's going to be an easy day at work for you and your parents (for example, you don't have any tests and your parents don't have urgent assignments at work). ).
Get permission for a mental health day. It is important to talk to parents about anxiety and stress. Adults often forget how difficult school life can be, when in fact, the stress level during study is quite high. If you're going through the usual school-related stress, it might be more beneficial for you to deal with it and get through it all. If stress, anxiety, and depression become more of a problem, tell a parent or counselor about it and ask for a day without school.
- If you suspect that you may be developing a serious mental health problem, such as depression or an anxiety disorder, ask your parents to make an appointment with your doctor. This can signal the seriousness of your problem to your parents, and if you do have some kind of disorder, then going to the doctor will help you control your condition.
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Stay at home if weather or nature conditions require it. In the event of a severe storm, flood, or other circumstances that make commuting to school dangerous, your school may close for a period of time. If the weather conditions are dangerous, but the school does not close for some reason, it is better for you to stay at home early.
- Usually parents or educators will help you figure out how bad the weather is for staying home, so you may not have to convince anyone of anything. If your parents stay at home because of the weather, they will be more willing to leave you at home as well.
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Consider other special circumstances as well. A family vacation or a visit from a distant relative can be a reason not to go to school, but don't skip school too often for these reasons. Compare what you might miss if you go to school versus what you might miss if you stay home, and talk to your parents about whether you should skip school.
- Please note that the school usually does not consider such reasons to be valid. If your school is one of these, you should tell your parents so that they can tell the school that you will be absent, without giving a reason.
- Usually, if you know in advance that you will be absent from school, your parent or guardian should write a note that you can bring a few days in advance. This will give teachers time to prepare assignments for you.
Part 3
We're stalling for time-
Late on purpose. Incorporate some delays into your morning routine, finish your morning chores a few minutes late so you won't be able to get to school on time.
- Dress very slowly. Soak up breakfast so you have to change. Get dressed again…very slowly.
- Pretend you can't find something you need, like one shoe or a gym uniform. Find it eventually, but let it take you 5-10 minutes.
- Complain loudly about having a bad day; shed a tear if necessary. If you're lucky, your parent will sympathize with you and let you stay at home.
- Understand that your lateness also affects others, such as your parents, who have to be at work on time. Realize that you are putting their job at risk and decide if skipping school is worth it.
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Skip the bus. The fact that you miss the bus may be an accident, or it may be a plan. In any case, if you miss the bus, you may not get to school if your parents leave for work early in the morning or if they don't have time to give you a ride to school.
Lose an item. You can't go to school without textbooks or a homework flash drive, right? Search everywhere. The more clutter your home usually has, the easier it will be for you to drag out your search time to be late for school.
- The smaller the item, the easier it is to “lose” it. For example, it will be difficult for your mother to believe that you have lost your backpack or laptop.
- The more important the subject, the more credible your pass will look if you don't find it. Losing glasses or contact lenses, for example, is more important than losing a notebook, as it will affect your ability to study throughout your work day (and depending on how bad your eyesight is, it can also affect how you will you bump into things).
- If you drive to school by yourself, you may lose your keys. However, if this becomes a habit, the consequences can be bad (for example, your parents may not allow you to drive to school and force you to take the bus).
Call the school yourself if allowed. Most schools require the student's parent or guardian to call, regardless of age, but some schools allow the student to make the call himself.
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Get a doctor's note. If you have a long-term illness, your school may require you, your parents, guardians, or other family members to provide you with a doctor's note stating that you are indeed sick and need time to recover.
- A certificate from a pediatrician or therapist will be required if your illness continues for more than a certain time. Exact times may vary by school, so you may want to check school policies to see at what point a doctor's note becomes required. This time usually varies from 3 to 10 days, 10 days is usually more common.
Plan ahead. It's more likely that your parents will believe you when you get up in the morning and say you're not well if you set the stage the previous evening.
Warnings
- Face the real reason. Ask yourself why you don't want to go to school. If you want to hide from the abuser or avoid another serious problem, you should better look for solutions to the problem, and not run away from it. This will make your life happier and healthier in the future.
- Don't skip school. Go through all the options your school provides for absenteeism. If you skip school without a reason or a call from your parents, you will be considered a truant and may have serious problems as a result.
- Find out what you are missing. In some subjects, it will be more difficult for you to catch up with the class than in others. Before you stay at home and skip school, you should think about how difficult it will be for you to catch up with class when you return, and also determine if skipping school is worth the effort. This is especially important if you are pretending to be sick or staying at home for a reason that is not very important.
- Consider the consequences. You can stay home for a real reason or pretend to be sick if you don't have a real reason to miss. In any case, skipping one or more school days can make your life more difficult later on.
I write about how to fake illness or how to get sick for real. I hope these tips will help you solve your problems, and you will not try to cause a real illness. I hope you avoid these tips and never get sick.
Symptoms of illness are mainly signs of how the immune system is fighting infection. Usually, immunity turns on only 3-4 days after the infection enters the body. Therefore, if you want to get sick quickly at home, you'd better feign illness. And if you want to deal with Chinese goods, read Buypar, there is everything about Aliexpress in Russian.
How to get sick when parents are at home so that mom would believe
- Start simulating as early as possible. The more you pretend, the sooner your parents will believe you.
- It is better to start complaining about the ailment (headache, stomach pain, feeling unwell) the day before. The ideal time is after lunch. The latest is at 18:30
- Fake only those symptoms that you know. Have you been sick before? Have any of your relatives been sick recently? These are the symptoms and simulate
- The first sign of a fever or a cold is rosy cheeks. Pat your cheeks with your palms or rub them
- You must look tired, sad
- Stop doing what you love. This is a must! For example, if you refuse to play on the computer, your parents will immediately think that you are sick.
- Be sure to leave at least some food on your plate. Show that you have no appetite and you will not even eat your favorite dish
- Refrain from meeting friends or walking
- Give up TV or computer games
- Lie down, show that you are very tired
- Start doing your homework, but don't finish it. By this you will show that you really, really want to study, but you can’t because of illness
- Go to bed earlier than usual. This will greatly alert the parents, and they will begin to worry.
- Don't brush your teeth and don't get ready for bed, just go and go to bed
- It will be best if you fall asleep dressed on the bed or right at the table
- Wake up in the middle of the night. Wake up your parents and tell them you don't feel well. Your stomach and head hurt.
- Fake vomiting, at least a little. Go to the toilet and put two fingers in your mouth, closer to your throat, to induce a gag reflex
- Pull the lower eyelid head strongly down and hold in this position until tears come out of the eyes
- Don't forget to rub your face, especially your cheeks, to keep them red
- You can fake coughing, but it's dangerous. If you are faking a cough, do it very, very regularly, but not too much.
- Don't go to bed until morning again. Then in the morning you will have a sick look - bags under the eyes, headache, sleepy watery eyes
- Do not ask your parents to leave you at home until the last! Try to lead them to this thought. You need your parents to invite you to stay at home
How to get sick in 5 minutes if parents are at home and don't go to school
None of the known diseases manifests itself so quickly, in five minutes. Therefore, it is better to simulate not an illness, but an injury. Then mom would rather believe and leave you at home, not let you go to school. The easiest and easiest to simulate are two types of injuries:
- Ankle sprain
- head injury
To simulate an ankle sprain, you need:
- Make sure your parents can't see you.
- Simulate a fall. Remember - your leg twisted, the foot went up and the lateral ligaments were stretched. Be sure to scream and fall to the floor.
- Remember - now your foot in the ankle hurts very badly. You can't stand on it and you can't walk at all.
- Every step you take must be painful.
- Show tears. Just pull the lower eyelid down and hold it in this position - tears will appear.
- A mild sprain has no visual signs at all, the leg looks healthy. A moderate stretch is accompanied by redness. And only in a severe degree does the leg swell. There is no need to simulate a severe degree - it is treated by an orthopedic doctor. And the doctor will immediately determine that you are feigning.
- You can constantly rub your ankle to make it red. But just do it so that mom does not see. Indeed, with a real sprain, the leg hurts very much, it is impossible to touch it.
- Make sure to limp really hard and don't step on the "injured foot".
- Each movement should be accompanied by a slight groan, sob, or other manifestation of pain.
- Show that you are really hurt by giving up some of your favorite things. For example, lie on the bed instead of sitting at the computer. This will be the strongest argument for parents.
To simulate a headbutt:
- Make sure your parents can't see you
- Pretend you fell or hit your head on the door
- Fall or sit on the floor
- cry
- You are now constantly dizzy and have a headache
- Don't forget exactly where you "hit"
- Fake vomiting or nausea
- Refuse food
- Lie down and do nothing. No computer or friends, otherwise parents will understand everything
- Don't be afraid if they take you to the doctor. Keep repeating the same thing - your head hurts and is spinning, you feel sick and really want to lie down. Most likely, the doctor will say that you have a mild concussion and need to lie in bed for a couple of days.
How to get sick overnight if parents are at home
The easiest way is to stay up all night until morning. Then you will have the appearance of a clearly sick and sleepy person and do not have to simulate anything. Even if your parents send you to school, immediately complain to the teacher about being unwell and ask the doctor/nurse. When the doctor looks at you, he will see strange symptoms and send you home. A doctor or nurse simply won't want to take responsibility. 
The easiest and healthiest way to get to the hospital is to cause severe diarrhea (diarrhea). Diarrhea is a symptom of many serious infectious diseases. But remember - diarrhea should be really strong, unreasonable and frequent. You should tell everyone that you didn’t eat anything unusual, that the portion size was also normal, but now, for no apparent reason, you began to have severe and frequent diarrhea. At the same time, do not forget to drink plenty of fluids. Otherwise, you will cause dehydration of the body and cause serious injury to yourself. If your parents send you to school despite severe diarrhea, do not be afraid. It is even easier to simulate diarrhea there. Ask the teacher to go to the toilet several times in a row. Complain of a severe malaise - you feel sick, your stomach hurts, you constantly want to go to the toilet. The teacher or school doctor will not want to take responsibility and will send you home or call an ambulance and send you to the hospital.
How to get sick in 1 hour - how to cause diarrhea or diarrhoea:
- Eat plenty of fiber-rich foods - fruits, vegetables, greens
- Eat lots of citrus fruits - tangerines, oranges, grapefruits
- Eat a lot of prunes
- Drink oil - olive, sunflower or linseed
- Drink or eat as many fermented milk products as possible - yogurt, kefir, fermented baked milk
- Take a laxative, but don't overdo it
How to get sick with a temperature, how to raise the body temperature
High temperature is considered the surest symptom of the disease, so it is best to imitate it.
How to get sick with a temperature of 38 - fake a high temperature
Take a towel and soak it in hot water. Place the towel on your forehead for 1 minute. Then show your parents and complain about the high temperature. Your forehead will turn slightly red and become hot. Just remember to make sure your forehead is dry or they will know you are cheating.
Full body high temperature simulation
Under the shirt, put on things that do not allow heat to pass through. It could be:
- Woolen clothes
- Nylon underwear
- Thick silk underwear
Lie down with this in bed under the covers and lie down like this for about 30 minutes. Then you can go to your parents and complain about the high temperature.
How to get sick with a temperature - eat food that raises the temperature
The easiest way to increase body temperature is to drink or eat hot foods. It can be soup, tea, porridge. Also, all types of hot peppers increase the temperature - chili, tabasco, jalapeno. Eat more spicy and hot foods and your body temperature will rise.
Body temperature depends on where it is measured
- The temperature in the mouth is one degree higher than in the armpit
- The temperature in the rectum is two degrees higher than under the arm
Next, I write about how to get a real disease. Try to avoid all of the things listed below, so as not to get sick in any case. 
How to lose your voice
- Long shout, sing. If you don't want to be heard, you can scream into a pillow. You can hoarse faster if you take low notes, sing in bass
- Whisper for a long time. Whisper several times for 20 minutes, take breaks for about 5 minutes. After a few hours of such exercises, your voice will completely disappear. To whisper, you need to tighten the vocal cords, and this also leads to their tension. Just don't drink anything until you lose your voice
- You can also cause irritation of the vocal cords and hoarseness if you gargle with something sour - orange juice, acetic acid solution or lemon juice. To avoid serious injury to yourself, pour no more than ¼ of vinegar or lemon juice into a glass
How to get a cold without leaving home
The common cold is commonly referred to as rhinitis, an inflammation of the nasal mucosa. Colds are caused by microbes that already live on our mucosa, so you do not need to contact the sick to catch a cold.
How to get sick for a week with a cold:
- Dress warmly and sit in a warm room
- Do not ventilate the room, try to keep the air as dry and warm as possible
- Do not drink any drinks, including water
- Stay at home, don't go out
- Move as little as possible
- Try to keep warm and sweat as much as possible
- Get out into the cold air or take a cold shower
- Freeze well
- Lie down and do nothing
Angina is an acute infectious disease with local inflammation in the throat. Often begins after a cold, as a complication. Treatment is long, difficult and unpleasant. Therefore, you should not get a sore throat in order not to go to school. To get sick with angina you need:
- Don't brush your teeth
- Do not treat caries on the teeth, wounds in the mouth
- Do not treat a runny nose in all its manifestations
- Communicate closely with those who already have a sore throat
How to get SARS
SARS is an acute respiratory viral infection. This is the name of all diseases caused by a virus that affects the respiratory tract. Accordingly, the only way to get ARVI is to catch the virus from someone who is already sick. Sometimes the virus is transmitted to humans from an animal, so those who work with animals, do not wash their hands and do not follow the rules of hygiene often get sick. To get sick with SARS you need:
- Go to crowded places more often, especially on public transport
- Do not wash your hands or follow other hygiene rules
- Avoid close contact with sick people
- Do not wear a gauze bandage
- Sleep less and eat less
- Be more often in unventilated areas
- Take as few vitamins as possible
How to get pneumonia
Pneumonia or pneumonia is a deadly disease. In some cases, the patient may die in just a few days, even without severe symptoms. In pneumonia, the alveoli (the small organ in the lungs through which we breathe) fill with fluid and the person suffocates. To get pneumonia you need:
- Get over a cold or SARS
- Don't cure a cold
- smoke as much as possible
- Do not treat chronic lung disease
How to get chickenpox
Chickenpox or chicken pox is a viral disease. Therefore, the only way to get chickenpox is to catch the virus from a person who is already sick. Most people have been vaccinated (have been vaccinated) against chickenpox. Therefore, they cannot get sick, even if they come into very close contact with carriers of the virus. A person who has already been ill with chickenpox once receives immunity from the virus. Therefore, it is almost impossible to get sick again. To get chickenpox you need:
- Don't get vaccinated
- Don't get chickenpox before
- Contact with patients
- Do not follow the general rules of hygiene
How to get anorexia
Anorexia is a complete lack of appetite. Most often it is a mental disorder. Therefore, the easiest way to get anorexic is to go crazy. In other cases, loss of appetite is associated with illness or external factors. To get sick with anorexia you need:
- Be exposed to strong radioactive radiation
- get poisoned
- To take drugs
- Get AIDS, tuberculosis, Crohn's disease, hepatitis, or cancer
- Avoid foods containing zinc
- Do not drink any liquid for a long time
- Eat too much vitamin D
Otitis media is a severe inflammation of the ear, usually caused by a bacterial infection. May be accompanied by severe pain. Treatment can be long and uncomfortable. To get otitis media you need:
- Coughing, sneezing, blowing your nose and not treating a cold
- When coughing and sneezing, try to get the mucus into the ear canal. For example, tightly close the nose and mouth
- Don't wash your hands
- Don't wash your ears
- Scratch your ears often with dirty hands
How to get sick? What not to do
Whatever the reason for your interest in the disease, remember, it is always better to feign illness, and not really get sick. Never do the following:
- Don't take medicine to get sick. You can take the wrong dose and cause serious injury or death to yourself
- Don't injure yourself. Trauma can always be faked without real pain.
- Do not eat or drink tainted foods. Diarrhea is easier to cause in yourself by drinking a glass of sunflower oil
- Do not eat or drink anything that is not meant for this. You can cause serious injury or severe poisoning to yourself. Then you will regret these actions for the rest of your life.
It's better to fake sickness and never really get sick Now you know what not to do to be always healthy.
There are days when you don't want to go to school at all. A test for which I am not ready, terrible events or conflicts with classmates, all this is definitely not happy, and I just want to stay at home.
There are a lot of ways to get sick and not go to school, but there are 2 main ways to solve this problem: feign illness or really get sick. And although the second method is more reliable, it can lead to consequences that you don’t expect in any way: you planned to stay at home for a day, but spent a month in the hospital on droppers; wanted to cause nausea, landed in the hospital with poisoning and had to do a gastric lavage (and this is not a pleasant procedure).
How to fake illness so you don't go to school
- When measuring temperature, you can attach a thermometer to a light bulb, or dip it in hot water, but do not overdo it, 37.2-37.4 is enough to stay at home, but 42 will cause serious suspicion; and if the parents are very gullible - a real panic.
- You can rub your armpits with salt, in which case you can measure the temperature right in front of your parents and they will not notice anything, and the temperature on the thermometer will be high.
- In addition to the previous methods, for greater persuasiveness, you can heat your forehead with a hairdryer or a heating pad, this will help if the parents first decide to check your temperature with their own hands (literally and figuratively).
- You can put a drop of iodine on a sugar cube of refined sugar, the temperature will rise again, but the main thing is not to overdo it, otherwise you can already be seriously poisoned.
How to get really sick
So, if you think that your parents will not believe in a simple simulation, and you decide to get reliably and seriously ill and not go to school, then this is your and only your responsibility. There is a high risk that you will become seriously ill and spend a lot of time in the hospital with such actions, so you do not need to go for walks with wet hair or drink boiling oil, these are ways to commit suicide rather than skip school. More secure ways:
- Drink cold in the heat - you can catch a cold or sore throat.
- There is ice cream on the street - you may have to eat more ice cream than you are used to and quite quickly. The effect will intensify if the weather outside is already cold or, conversely, hot and hot.
- Standing in the wind is again a cold or a sore throat, but take care of your ears if it blows them, inflammation of the inner ear will have to be treated for a long time and in a hospital.
- Scream enough - you will hoarse and your throat will hurt.
- Wet your feet while walking - relevant in autumn and spring.
Whatever method you choose, be careful, and it’s better not to hurt at all.
Today you rarely meet a child who would like to go to school. Even those who are very fond of studying sooner or later simply do not want to get up in the morning and go outside in the rain or snow. What to do in this case? This question torments many students. Next, we will take a closer look at how not to go to school in 10 ways.
Method Navigator
1. Method.
You need to prepare for absenteeism in advance and think carefully about everything. One option may be a routine medical examination or vaccinations. Quite often they are called from the clinic to undergo a medical examination or other planned procedures. Therefore, you need to warn the teacher in advance that tomorrow you need to go to the clinic and that's it. It is also necessary to warn parents that the school was told to undergo a physical examination or be vaccinated. After that, you can calmly rest for a day or two.
2. Method.
Of course, it is not nice to lie, so this method should be used only as a last resort. We can say that one of the relatives died and you need to go to the funeral tomorrow. In this case, you should not slander living people. It is better to choose a neutral object to calm your conscience. But it is better not to cheat in such a cruel way and use it only as a last resort.
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There are 100 ways not to go to school that every modern student should know, but we will consider only the most popular ones.
3. Way.
You can suddenly get sick in the morning. The first symptoms of the disease should be feeling unwell, headache, weakness and, as usual, fever. To increase the temperature on the thermometer to the desired degree, you can use the following methods:
- You can carefully heat the thermometer on the battery. In this case, you can not lean it against a metal surface, you need to hold it over it. In this case, the temperature should not exceed 39 degrees. Otherwise, an ambulance will be called.
- You can also heat the thermometer from any other warm device. It could be a regular computer that has been heating up for some time. Other warm devices in the apartment will also work. Therefore, it is worth trying and experimenting in advance.
- Animals have a higher body temperature than humans, so they can also heat up the thermometer. At the same time, you need to be as careful as possible with an artificial option so as not to break it by accident. Animals can heat the thermometer up to 38 degrees.
— Thermometers can be heated with hot drinks such as tea. Therefore, we take a warm drink and raise the temperature.
- A variety of lighting devices are suitable for heating, for example, a table lamp. You just need to hold the thermometer in front of her for a few minutes.
- If you rub your armpits with garlic, you can raise the temperature to 38 degrees. But this method will lead to uncomfortable and even painful sensations.
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- If you turn the mercury thermometer down and lightly hit it with the back of your hand, you can move the mercury column a few degrees.
Effective ways to not go to school should be known to every student, so let's look at the following six.
4. Method.
You can also try to simulate poisoning. For this, almost nothing needs to be done. Just pretend to have several frequent trips to the toilet, and also say that your stomach hurts and feels very sick. After that, your parents will definitely leave you at home. In this way, you can skip one or two days. Therefore, it is worth trying if you really do not want to go to school.
5. Method.
You can skip the first and second of September, if you really don’t want to say goodbye to the summer holidays. The teacher just needs to say that they were on vacation and could not arrive on time. This option does not require a certificate, so it's worth a try if your parents allow it. But for them, you can come up with a different story.
6. Method.
After the first lesson, you can tell the teacher that your mother called and asked to come home urgently. Here you can come up with any story. For example, that you need to pick up a sick sister from the kindergarten or take the keys to your mother. There can be many excuses, so we turn on the fantasy.
There are a lot of ways not to go to school, but it is enough to know only the best of them in order to arrange an unplanned day off for yourself.
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7. Method.
You can go to school, but come back in a few minutes and tell your parents any story. For example, that the school was closed for quarantine or only girls or boys are given medical examinations, repairs are underway or the heating has been turned off. There can be many excuses, you need to choose only one.
8. Method.
This method is only suitable if the parents go to work faster in the morning. You just need to put your keys to the apartment in your bag in the evening. And in the morning, when she goes to work, call and say that you can't find the keys. You need to call when mom can no longer return home.
There are many ways not to go to school, but we only need a few of the most effective ones to achieve our goal.
9. Method.
You can just oversleep, of course, if your parents leave the house earlier for work and will not be able to wake you up in time. At school, you can not say anything at all, and parents - just that the alarm clock is broken or they forgot to set it. A simple and effective excuse for not going to school.
10. Method.
It can be said that you are stuck in an elevator. Such an excuse is suitable for both teachers and parents. In the second case, if the parents cannot verify this fact. Tell the teachers that the rescue team was driving for a long time. The same can be said to parents.
Here are all 10 ways not to go to school, which are sure to be useful to every student.
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