According to Orthodox traditions, the soul of a deceased person wanders the earth for forty days, saying goodbye to his family and friends. The fortieth day is very important for the soul, it is then that it appears before the face of God and is responsible for all its life actions. On this day, the soul itself is no longer able to change anything, but this is subject to the relatives and friends of the deceased. Our ancestors sacredly revered church traditions, and they instilled this in us. But today's rhythm of life sometimes confronts us with difficult choice. No one can stop time or make it go faster; funerals do not always coincide with our weekends, and the question remains relevant for many: Is it possible to remember forty days earlier?
Tribute to tradition
The day of death is considered the first day when the soul begins to wander between worlds. The wanderings end at the fortieth - the decision to future fate souls. The importance of this moment cannot be overestimated. The most important thing we can do is to pray for a person, remember all his positive qualities. With our prayers and memories we ask higher power give a positive verdict and be merciful.
The deceased should be commemorated throughout the entire forty days, so to the question of whether it is possible to commemorate a person earlier, the answer can only be “yes.” However, it is on the 40th day that you need to visit the church and order funeral prayer. Try to remember the deceased as often as possible kind words.
If you can't host a 40th day memorial dinner, don't worry. The funeral meal itself has no meaning for the deceased. What is important is not a rich table and all kinds of dishes, but what is important is your attention, prayers and memories. Submit a note to the church for the liturgy, attend the service on the 40th day, after which order a memorial service.
Prayerful remembrance
The tradition of gathering loved ones at the funeral table has existed for many years, but church ministers note that especially important days After the death of a person, it is prayerful commemorations, and not funeral dinners, that play a huge role. In ancient times, it was customary to share food with the poor and beggars, attend the service and order a memorial prayer in the name of saving the soul of the deceased.
It should be noted that memorial days often occur on major church holidays. The clergy urge people to spend time not at the table with friends and loved ones, but in church - in prayer for the soul and in the name of all saints.
It is very important not only to order a prayer for the repose of the soul, but also to be present in the temple at this time, turning to the Lord along with everyone. It is the prayerful remembrance that should not be postponed to a day earlier or later; it should be carried out on important days for the soul - the 3rd, 9th and 40th after death.
Spirit, soul and body are creations of God. If the body is of a temporary nature, then the spirit and soul live forever. The task of humanity is to live earthly life, keeping the commandments of God, so that after death we can see the Kingdom of Heaven.
A wake for 9 days after death is an important ritual that helps the deceased to pass on to another world, and the living to forgive and let him go.
Where is the soul 9 days after death?
According to the canons of Orthodoxy, the soul of the newly deceased is not immediately sent to God’s destination; it remains on earth for 40 days after leaving the body.
These days, relatives and friends constantly pray for the deceased, celebrating the 3rd, 9th and 40th days in a special way.
The main thing is to understand why these days are so important in order to properly conduct the wake for 9 days after death. Nine days after death: the meaning of the wake is to pray for the deceased before God.
The number 9 is a sacred number. After death, the body rests, covered with earth, but the soul continues to be on the earth. Nine days have passed since the funeral, what does this mean for the soul of the deceased?
The afterlife begins from the first day. On the third day, the soul leaves home and goes on a nine-day journey. For six days the deceased goes through a special path, preparing for a personal meeting with the Almighty. this path ends.
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Funerals for 9 days after death help the newly deceased to stand before the throne of God, the Judge, with trepidation and fear.
It is the nine-day stay on the posthumous path that completes the selection of the protective angels who will become lawyers before the King of kings at God's judgment.
Each of the angels will ask God for mercy, presenting evidence of the righteous life of the person who has passed away.
For three days the guardian angel stays with the soul near the living, and on the fourth day the deceased goes to heaven for acquaintance.
The verdict of God's judgment has not yet sounded; every newly deceased person goes to heaven to rest from the pain that haunted him on earth. Here the deceased person is shown all his sins.
Candles in the cemetery
Meaning 9 days
On the ninth day, angels bring the newly deceased to the throne of God, and after a conversation with the Almighty God, the soul goes to hell.
This is not God's final decision. During the hellish journey, the ordeal of the deceased begins, which consists of passing tests. Their complexity and depth depend on the sinful temptations that the deceased will encounter while traveling along the hellish path. The souls of the dead, who during this journey show that good triumphs over evil, can count on forgiveness at God's judgment.
The importance of the ninth day after the death of a person - the deceased is still not determined by God on his path. Prayers and memories of relatives and friends provide undeniable help to the departed. Their memories of the life of the newly deceased, his good deeds, and forgiveness of the offended bring peace to the departing soul.
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According to Orthodox traditions, one cannot constantly shed tears for a deceased person, thus keeping his soul on earth. Finding peace, relatives and friends give peace to the departed relative, who, when leaving, no longer cares about the people he left behind.
Walking the road of hell, sinners get the opportunity to repent; the prayers of the living provide strong support for them during a difficult journey.
Important! On the ninth day, it is customary to order a prayer service, which ends with a wake. Prayers heard during commemoration help the deceased person to pass hellish trials.
The prayers of the living are filled with requests to join the deceased with the angels. If God wills, then the deceased loved one will become the guardian angel of one of the loved ones.
How to correctly calculate 9 days
When calculating this sacred day, not only the day, but the time of death matters. The funeral is held no later than the ninth day, and most often it is done a day earlier, but not later.
If a person died after lunch, then the wake should be held after 8 days. The date of death is not related to the time of the funeral. By Orthodox tradition, the body is interred on the second or third day, but there are cases that the date of burial is postponed to the sixth and seventh day.
Based on this, the date of the funeral is calculated depending on the time of death.
Funeral according to Orthodox traditions
A wake is not a simple ritual. On the ninth day, relatives and loved ones gather for lunch to pay tribute to the memory of the deceased, leaving in their minds best moments from his life.
It is not customary to invite people to a funeral dinner; they come themselves. Of course, you should clarify where and when this event will take place, and warn your relatives about your desire to attend the dinner.
They begin and end the commemoration with the Lord's Prayer.
Prayer "Our Father"
Our Father who art in heaven!
hallowed be your name;
let him come Your kingdom;
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven;
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors;
and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.
Few people specifically study funeral and memorial rituals and traditions, but no one can avoid the fate of burying or commemorating someone close to them.
How to properly set the table
A funeral dinner has nothing to do with celebration. There can be no fun, songs or laughter during the commemoration of the deceased.
Alcoholic beverages that cause inappropriate behavior are not recommended by the church.
And during the wake, people pray for forgiveness of the sins of the living and the dead. Indulging in drunkenness during the nine-day commemoration can harm the deceased.
After the prayer, each person present at the funeral dinner puts kutya, a specially prepared and consecrated dish in the church, on their plate.
Advice! There are situations when it is not possible to sanctify funeral dish in church, then you can sprinkle it three times with holy water.
Each region has its own traditions of preparing this dish. The main ingredients of kutya are honey and grain:
- wheat;
- corn;
- millet.
The grain was not chosen by chance. It has a sacred meaning. Just as a seed dies when preparing kutya, so a person dies. He can be reborn in a new form, resurrected in the Kingdom of Heaven. Honey and poppy seeds are added to kutya to wish the newly deceased a heavenly life.
Raisins and nuts are not always present in Lenten kutya, because their symbolism is a prosperous, healthy life.
Sweets such as jam, honey or sugar are added as symbols of a sweet heavenly stay.
The wake should not be turned into simple eating of food. This is a time of remembering the deceased and consoling loved ones.
Rules of conduct during a funeral dinner
The funeral dinner begins with the first dish, which is usually borscht.
The funeral menu necessarily contains porridge, often peas, served with fish, cutlets or poultry.
The choice of cold appetizers is also in the hands of the host.
Drinks on the tables include infusion or compotes. At the end of the meal, pies with sweet filling or thin pancakes with poppy seeds or cottage cheese.
Advice! You should not prepare an abundance of food, so as not to fall into gluttony.
Creating rituals while eating funeral food is an invention of people. A modest meal is not the main event of this day. While eating, the gathered people quietly remember the person who has passed away.
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It is not recommended to talk about the bad deeds or character traits of the deceased. The Church calls on those present not to focus their attention on the fact that the deceased was far from an angel, so as not to harm him during his journey through hell.
Any sin during the wake on the 9th day can harm the deceased.
Negativism, highlighted during commemoration, is pushing the deceased person towards a terrible sentence.
It is recommended to distribute all the food left after the funeral dinner to poor relatives, needy neighbors or simply the poor.
Important! If nine days are celebrated during Lent, then the funeral dinner is moved to the next weekend and adjustments are made to the menu. For people who do not adhere to fasts, you can meat dishes replace with fish ones.
Lent imposes a particularly strict ban on alcohol.
Does the type of clothing matter?
During the funeral dinner, prayers are read, so women cover their heads with scarves or scarves. On day 9, black scarves can only be worn by close relatives, as a sign of special sadness.
Men, on the contrary, take off their hats and appear before God in prayer with bareheaded.
Repose candles in the church
Behavior in church
For Orthodox relatives, attendance at the funeral service on the occasion of nine days is mandatory.
All people present in the temple for the repose of the deceased according to the following order:
- First, you should go to the icon, near which there are candles for repose, as a rule, these are images of the crucified Jesus, and cross yourself.
- A pre-purchased candle is lit from other burning candles. If there are none, then ignition from a fire from a lamp is allowed. The use of matches or lighters brought with you is prohibited.
- Place a lit candle in an empty space. First, you can melt the bottom edge of the candle a little so that it stands stable.
- To ask God to rest the soul of a deceased person, his full name should be given.
- Cross yourself, bow and quietly move away from the lamp.
For prayer for the repose, the candlesticks located on the left side of the temple are made in a rectangular shape, unlike round tables with candles for health.
The candles placed in the temple symbolize a collective request, a prayer for the newly deceased.
Praying for the repose of the soul of the person who has passed into the afterlife, requests are sent to Heaven for the great mercy of God to the sinful newly departed person. How more people prays for forgiveness, the lower the scale of forgiveness falls.
You can ask both God and the angels and saints.
Prayer for the dead on day 9
“God of spirits and all flesh, having trampled down death and abolished the devil, and given life to Thy world! O Lord, give rest to the souls of your departed servants: holy patriarchs, His Eminence Metropolitans, Archbishops and Bishops, who served You in the priestly, church and monastic ranks;
the creators of this holy temple, the Orthodox forefathers, fathers, brothers and sisters, lying here and everywhere; leaders and warriors who laid down their lives for the faith and fatherland, the faithful, who were killed in internecine warfare, drowned, burned, frozen to death, torn to pieces by beasts, suddenly died without repentance and did not have time to reconcile with the Church and with their enemies; in the frenzy of the mind of those who committed suicide, those for whom we were commanded and asked to pray, for whom there is no one to pray and the faithful, Christian burials deprived of (the name of the rivers) in a bright place, in a green place, in a place of peace, from where sickness, sadness and sighing can escape.
Every sin committed by them in word or deed or thought, as a good Lover of mankind, God forgives, as if there is no man who will live and not sin. For You are the only one besides sin, Your righteousness is truth forever, and Your word is truth. For You are the Resurrection, and the Life and Repose of Your departed servants (the name of the rivers), Christ our God, and to You we send glory with Your beginningless Father, and Your Most Holy, and Good, and Life-giving Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen".
How to behave in a cemetery
- After memorial service the people present at it go to the cemetery, bringing flowers.
- You should light a lamp at the grave and read the prayer “Our Father” if there is no invited priest to read the litiya.
- Several people talk aloud about the deceased person, others remember him mentally. It is not recommended to have worldly conversations while visiting a cemetery, talking about extraneous topics.
- It is prohibited to have a funeral meal near the grave, especially to drink alcoholic beverages. This can harm the state of mind of the deceased.
- They do not leave food at the grave of the newly deceased. They ask the poor to honor the memory of the deceased by distributing sweets, buns, pies and candies to them as mercy. It could also be money donated to the poor. The decision in this case is up to the relatives.
- When leaving the cemetery, you must turn off the lamp so as not to cause a fire at the grave.
The pleas, petitions and prayers of loved ones are able to beg God’s forgiveness for a loved one who has gone to Heaven and appears before the Almighty on the ninth day.
Watch the video about day nine
Orthodox commemoration of the dead primarily involves prayer. And only after this is the funeral table. Of course, the funeral itself, the 9th and 40th days, are no less significant events to which all relatives, close friends, just acquaintances and colleagues from work are invited. However, at 1 year old you can not do this, but spend the day in prayer among your closest people in the family circle. Also, a year after a sad event, it is customary to visit the cemetery.
How to hold a wake for 1 year?
If a person was baptized during his lifetime, he is ordered to have a funeral commemoration at the Liturgy. Prayer is a huge help for people who have left this world. After all, according to by and large the deceased does not need either a monument or a luxurious meal, the only thing that can be done is close person for his soul is to read prayers and remember his good deeds.
You can order the Liturgy in the church in the evening the day before the funeral or in the morning on the same day. Among other things, the deceased is also remembered at meals. On this day, it is customary to prepare various dishes: this is necessarily soup, main course, and at the request of relatives, the favorite dishes of the deceased are prepared. Don't forget about pancakes, jelly and pastries.
On the day of commemoration of the death of the deceased, you should definitely visit his grave. If necessary, they put things in order: they paint it, plant flowers, pine needles (thuja takes root best, it does not grow in breadth and does not take root, but only grows upward). If there was a temporary monument on the grave, then it is exactly in the year after death that it is replaced with a permanent one.
Memorial meal at the wake for 1 year
Of course, the hosts want to treat the invited people tastier, but do not forget about Orthodox posts. So, if the funeral took place on the day of fasting, prohibited foods should be excluded and only those dishes that are allowed to be served should be served.
At the table it is necessary to remember the deceased, his good deeds and character traits. You should not turn the funeral table into a “drunken gathering.” After all, the word “commemoration” arose from the word “remember.”
The first dish served at the funeral table is kutia. It is boiled rice or wheat cereal with honey and raisins. While eating the dish, they think about the deceased. Such food is considered a symbol of resurrection; according to tradition, it can be sprinkled with holy water.
The following dishes on the funeral table, namely soup, main course, can be anything, depending on taste preferences the deceased or the owners. It could be ordinary chicken soup with noodles or rich borscht, goulash with pasta or jellied meat, stuffed peppers or pilaf, as long as meat dishes are not prohibited by fasting. As a pastry, you can serve pie with filling or pancakes.
It should be noted that the days of remembrance must be met in a good mood, be in the mood and not be offended by the deceased for leaving this world. Moreover, it is considered correct to distribute alms and clothes or other belongings of the deceased to those in need at the funeral.
Sources:
- Website "Orthodoxy"
A wake is quite complicated. funeral tradition, found in most cultures. On the day of the funeral, there is a treat, as a memory of the deceased, both on the day of the funeral and on certain days Later.
Among some nationalities, sacrifices are laid at the grave, which are then used as food. Other customs call for holding a funeral feast (military fun) on site. This tradition was common among the Slavic and Germanic tribes, among the ancients. In other places, the deceased was seen off with mourning processions and crying.
It is common among us Christian custom conducting According to the Orthodox canon, it must be carried out three times: on the day of the funeral, on the ninth day, and also on the fortieth day. They consist of a funeral meal. The same custom exists in many. The meaning of this ritual is very deep. Believing in the immortality of the soul, people bring the deceased closer to God, while at the same time paying tribute to him as good. It is not for nothing that it is customary to either speak well of the deceased or not to speak at all.
The funeral process also includes prayers for the person who has left the earthly world. In general, all actions at such rituals have a deep meaning, even the meal menu was not chosen by chance.
So how do you conduct a wake?
- Before starting the meal, you must read the “Our Father” prayer. This minimum required, since it is advisable to perform a litia and sing the 90th Psalm (for this, the so-called “singers” are invited). During the wake, it is necessary to remember the deceased, and only him positive traits and actions, obscene language, laughter, jokes, and drunkenness are prohibited.
- It is not advisable to make the menu rich. On the contrary, modesty and simplicity are necessary, since the abundance of dishes does not benefit the ritual process itself. The first dish that you cannot do without is the so-called kutia - porridge made from whole grain millet or rice, seasoned with honey and raisins. Moreover, it must be sprinkled with holy water, or
The day of death is considered the first day, that is, the day on which a person died, and will be considered the day of his memory in a year, and in 10, and in 20 years. On this day, you must visit the church to pray for the deceased, and after the completion of the service, ask the priest to serve a memorial service.
First of all, you need to pray for the deceased, and only then celebrate the funeral meal, which is not so important, although it is not superfluous.
You should always pray for the deceased, but especially on the days of their memory. By church tradition Days of remembrance of the deceased - birthday and death day are usually celebrated annually. On the day of remembrance, you should definitely pray during the Divine Liturgy for the repose of the deceased, serve a memorial service for him, and then you can celebrate a memorial meal.
When to celebrate the anniversary of death?
It is better to celebrate the anniversary of death at its own time, however, in the life of each person there may be many reasons why the date of the memorial day has to be postponed. In such cases, it is possible to postpone the memorial day, but it is necessary to honor the day of death by visiting the temple, serving a memorial service and celebrating the smallest memorial meal in the home circle of those closest to you.
On big days church holidays It is not customary to remember the dead, since nothing sorrowful should distract from such holidays. Therefore, the day of remembrance is usually moved to another day close to the day of the holiday. And if the years fall on Easter, then they are held after the end of Bright Week.
In a number of tragic cases, the day of death has to be set arbitrarily, which greatly worries people close to the deceased. However, the church advises not to attach too much of great importance Yes, there. There is nothing wrong with establishing a conditional reference point, because it is unknown, for example, exact date the death of many saints, and how many missing people exist who have never been found.
According to Christian beliefs, the duty of the living is to pray for the deceased (and this must be done not only on memorial days, but also on ordinary ones); funeral church services are also called upon to ask for the forgiveness of his sins, and then it becomes possible to change his afterlife fate by forgiving even grave sins.
On the anniversary of death, people close to the deceased pray for him, thus expressing the belief that the day of death is not a day of destruction, but a new birth of the deceased for eternal life, the day of the immortal's transition human soul in completely different conditions, where there are no earthly sorrows, illnesses and adversities.
And yet, the days of remembrance must be celebrated and seen off only in a state of good spirits, without holding a grudge against anyone, especially not against a deceased person. On memorial days, it is also customary to distribute alms to people in need, remember the deceased at meals, and also donate to monasteries so that they can pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased.