To be successful, to build relationships with colleagues, to arrange a personal life, it is important to know how to persuade people. Changing a person's position can be difficult, but there are various means of persuasion for this.
How to persuade a person: ways of speech influence
Persuasion is a form of psychological influence on a person, in which the main role is played by verbal or speech means: logic, clear argumentation, inferences, etc. There are several effective psychological techniques that increase the persuasiveness of speech, and often help to influence the interlocutor's subconscious.
Knowing how to persuade people will help you achieve your goals faster.
- Logics. A person's acceptance of your arguments directly depends on the consistency of speech. It manifests itself in a clear connection between judgments, when one thought naturally follows from another and ultimately leads the interlocutor to the conclusion you need.
- Stimulation. When persuading, choose arguments that affect your partner's personal interests and "promise" him advantages or threaten him with problems.
- Reframing. This is a psychological technique for “turning over” the meaning of a statement. Words are a shell of thought, but the same thought, expressed in different words, can change the meaning to the exact opposite. Thus, the words "scout" and "spy" have the same meaning, but completely different meanings.
- Emotional coloring of speech. The degree of your persuasiveness largely depends on your personal interest and emotionality of speech.
All these methods will only work if your speech is understandable, expressive, distinguished by high culture and good vocabulary. The indistinct, confused mumbling of a person who has difficulty finding the right words will never be convincing.
How to persuade a person to do something: non-verbal means
It has long been noticed that with personal contact, it is easier to convince a person of something than by phone. It is even more difficult to do this in a written message. The fact is that non-verbal (non-verbal) means of communication play a huge role in the transmission of information. With their help, 60-80% of information is transmitted, and it is they who are able to influence the subconscious of a person, regardless of his desire.
There are many methods of psychological "tuning" of the interlocutor. Here is some of them.
- Mirror. Unobtrusive repetition of your partner's movements sets him up to trust you.
- Light touches. Psychologists believe that a person, in a conversation with someone he trusts, unconsciously tries to touch him from time to time. By touching the interlocutor, you thereby demonstrate your trust in him and set him up for a positive perception of you.
- Smile. This universal means of communication has a positive effect on people and encourages them to relate with confidence in the interlocutor.
- Expressive intonation. Convincing and positively colored intonation creates a special optimistic atmosphere. A person who speaks energetically and even cheerfully wants to believe.
Persuasiveness should not be confused with obsession. Too long attempts to convince the interlocutor cause him irritation and a reaction of rejection. Therefore, if you failed to persuade the person, then it is better not to insist and postpone the conversation until another convenient time.
Today I will continue to consider the art of persuasion and I'll tell you about how to convince a person that he is right how to persuade other people to your point of view. The art of persuasion can be classified as important enough to achieve success. This can be useful in any area of human life, but in business or work related to sales - especially.
In one of the previous articles, I have already considered the general ones, but it should be recognized that each person is individual, and the method that will help to persuade one person to his point of view will not produce any effect or even harm when communicating with another. This is due to the fact that different people have their own psychological characteristics, depending on the type of their character and temperament. Therefore, today we will talk about how to convince a person of his point of view, based on his psychological characteristics.
For this, first of all, we will need to divide people into different psychological types. Most often, psychologists use a person's temperament as a criterion for such a division, but, in this case, this may not be enough, since it is important for us to divide people by the type of reaction to attempts to persuade them. I propose to distinguish 4 types of people according to these criteria:
- Always confident in his righteousness, unbending;
- Doubting, indecisive;
- Shows aggression, easily excitable;
- Indifferent and indifferent.
The main task of the art of persuasion is to correctly determine the type of person who needs to be convinced of his point of view, and then to act taking into account his psychological characteristics.
Let's consider how to behave with people of each of these psychological types in order to convince them that they are right.
1. Confident. Convincing a person who is confident in his righteousness and is not inclined to change his mind is the hardest thing. Such people immediately make it clear what they need, they speak in short and firm phrases, express their position directly and openly. However, there is a method that will help to win over even such people.
Excessive confidence and inflexibility can be a reflection of not only strength, but, on the contrary, weakness of character. Especially if it is self-confidence, which is very often observed.
In this case, the best way to persuade a person to his point of view is to take him “weakly”. To do this, it is enough to make it clear that you have doubts that he will be able to do something that you need.
For example, if you want to make a sale to such a person, you can tell him something like: "in general, this will probably be too expensive for you, we can find cheaper options." Then ostentatious determination will play in him, he will answer that he can easily afford to buy a product at such a price and, as proof of his innocence, will make a purchase.
2. Indecisive. The easiest way is to convince an indecisive and doubting person of your rightness. You can easily gain verbal superiority over him and persuade him to your point of view. But the difficulty here lies in something else: first you need to recognize this type, because if you make a mistake and start acting in this way with a person of a different psychological type, then you will be defeated. Therefore, if you do not know how to convince a person of your point of view, you should immediately try to identify his indecision. How can I do that?
For example, by the verbal expressions that he will use. An indecisive and doubting person will use the same fuzzy and imprecise expressions. For example, when making a purchase, he will ask for “something not very expensive” instead of “cheap”, or “something not very bright” instead of naming a specific color, he will use the words “a little”, “more or less” , “Like”, “somehow”, etc., characterizing uncertainty. His gestures and facial expressions will also express doubts and uncertainty, for example, he will stamp on the spot, fiddle with his clothes, weave and pull his fingers, etc.
How to convince a person
Few people understand that in business, as in life, a very important point is the correct relationship with people. People with public speaking skills and the power of persuasion very easily climb to the top of their success. A skill with or convince a person of your dream / goal / idea- this is an invaluable gift And therefore I will now share with you small ones, but I hope they will be very useful for you, rules of skillful persuasion.So, you can win over the interlocutor almost without words and certainly without foam at the mouth. Moreover, you can not only arrange, but also convince him of his own right I use several completely unpretentious methods, which I will talk about further.
1) Take your time.
Always give the person the right to express their opinion or their thought. Do not try to interrupt him or stop him in mid-sentence, no matter what he says. Also, do not rush him or end his statement with your own words. If you ask a question, be sure to wait for an answer, and you do not need to put forward your own versions before the person speaks.
2) Show interest.
When talking, look at your counterpart. Because, even if you listen to him very carefully, but only at the same time look at something else, your interlocutor will generally regard this as a lack of any interest in him. To demonstrate elementary understanding, nod your head from time to time and insert short remarks like these: "yes, yes, I agree", "that's for sure!" Just don't interrupt the conversation with long digressions like: "and you know, now it reminded me of an interesting incident from my childhood ..."
3) Clarify.
In our society, many conflicts arise only because of a banal misunderstanding. To prevent these misunderstandings, use simple clarifications using, for example, these initial phrases: "You must definitely correct me if I'm wrong ...", "If I understand correctly, it turns out ...", "As I understand now you ... "," In other words ... ".
4) Think about it.
When you, during a conversation, take a short pause, supposedly pondering the information you have heard, you can find out how confident your counterpart is in your words or in yourself. This technique very often forces people to change their assumptions and wishes for those that are more beneficial to you. And at the same time, you will not even utter a word.
5) Do not speak loudly and calmly.
6) Don't overdo it with smiles.
A smile is, of course, an important element of confidential communication, but it should be sincere and not intrusive. That is, it is very important not to overdo it with her. Three quarters of our population are wary of over-smiling people. If it turns out that your mouth is constantly stretched out to the ears, then for sure there will be a feeling that you are either acting out friendliness, or do not take seriously the spoken words of the interlocutor and the issue under discussion.
7) Don't be afraid to make mistakes.
It is not necessary to grovel too much in proving to people how much they can be mistaken. By doing this, you are just an opaque hint that you are smarter than them. Who will like it? I definitely do not =))) I think you do the same. The best way to avoid this is to always admit the possibility of your own mistake. Let me show you with an example: "I certainly think differently, but it is quite possible that I may be mistaken. Be sure to correct if I say something wrong or in something wrong."
8) Use the form "yes, but ..."
When people hear the word "no" directly, norepinephrine is released into the bloodstream. This immediately, on a subconscious level, sets us up to fight. Conversely, when we hear the word "yes", it leads to the release of pleasure hormones - endorphins - into the body. To all of the above, the conclusion is very simple: instead of saying a sharp "no" in the forehead, it is better to effectively answer: "Yes, but I wanted to ..." and now you can already express your terms of the deal or whatever you have =) )). This way you maintain a friendly atmosphere and force the other person to seek compromises.
Sometimes the success of our endeavors largely depends on the ability to convince a person to accept our point of view. But, unfortunately, this is not so easy to do, even if truth and common sense are on our side. Persuasion is a rare but very rewarding gift. How to convince a person?
Persuasion is a way of influencing the consciousness of people, addressed to their own critical perception. The essence of the conviction is that, by means of logical argumentation, first to achieve from the interlocutor an internal agreement with certain conclusions, and then, on this basis, create and consolidate new or transform old attitudes that correspond to the present goal.
Persuasive communication skills can be learned both through various trainings and independently. The principles and methods of persuasion below will teach you persuasion skills, and they are equally effective when applied to persuade one person or an entire audience.
How to convince a person
Persuasive Speech Principle # 1 - A CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF OWN INTENTIONS
In order to change or form the opinion of people, or in order to induce them to take any action, you yourself must clearly understand your intentions and be deeply confident in the truth of your ideas, concepts and perceptions.
Confidence helps to make unambiguous decisions and implement them without hesitation, taking an unshakable position in assessing certain phenomena and facts.
Persuasive Speech Principle # 2 - STRUCTURE OF SPEECH
The persuasiveness of speech depends on its structuredness - thoughtfulness, consistency and consistency. The structuredness of speech makes it possible to explain the main provisions in a more accessible and understandable way, helps to clearly follow the intended plan, such speech is better perceived and remembered by the listener.
Introduction
An effective introduction can help engage and grab a person's attention, build trust, and create an atmosphere of goodwill. The introduction should be short and consist of three, four sentences denoting the subject of speech and telling about the reason why you should know what will be discussed.
The introduction sets the mood and tone of the speech. A serious opening gives the speech a restrained and thoughtful tone. A humorous start lays positive mood, but here it is worthwhile to understand that starting with a joke, setting the audience in a playful way, it will be difficult to talk about serious things.
The main content of the speech
It should be understandable, clear and meaningful - persuasive speech cannot be incomprehensible and confused. Break your main points, thoughts and ideas into several parts. Think about smooth transitions that show how one part of the talk is connected to another.
- statement of facts that can be verified;
- expert opinions, judgments of people with authority in this area;
- quotes that animate and explain the material;
- specific cases and examples that can explain and illustrate the facts;
- a description of your own experience and your theory;
- statistics that can be verified;
- reflections and predictions about future events;
- funny stories and anecdotes (in a small dose), meaningfully supporting or revealing the provisions in question;
- literal or figurative comparisons and contrasts, illustrating statements by showing differences and similarities;
Conclusion
The conclusion is the most difficult and important part of persuasion speech. It should repeat what was said and enhance the effect of the entire speech. What is said in the conclusion, a person will remember longer. As a rule, it is at the end, along with summarizing what has been said, that a call to action sounds, which describes the actions and behavior of people necessary for the speaker.
Persuasive Speech Principle # 3 - EVIDENCE IN SUPPORT OF YOUR IDEA
For the most part, people are rational and rarely do what is not beneficial to them. Therefore, in order to convince a person, one must find good arguments explaining the justification and expediency of the proposal.
Arguments are thoughts, statements and arguments used to support a particular point of view. They answer the question of why we should believe in something or act in a certain way. Convincing speech largely depends on the correctness of the selected arguments and evidence. Having compiled a list of arguments, evaluate them well, think about whether they are suitable in a particular case, whether they will affect this audience or not. After weighing all the pros and cons, choose from the remaining two or three that are most effective.
What should be the criteria for evaluating and choosing arguments:
- Good arguments are those that are backed up by solid evidence. It happens that the speech sounds convincing, but at the same time it is not supported by facts. When preparing your speech, make sure that your reasons are valid.
- Good reasoning should be smartly and succinctly embedded in the proposal. They shouldn't sound out of place.
- Even if your argument is well supported and well founded, it may not be accepted by the person. People react differently. For some, your facts and arguments will sound convincing, while others will not consider the arguments you used as the main ones for assessing the situation. Of course, you cannot know for sure what effect your argument will have on the persuaded, but at least approximately guess and estimate what the result will be, you can based on the analysis of the personality (audience) made.
In order to make sure that you are presented with really strong evidence, you should ask yourself at least three questions:
- Where did the information come from, what source? If the evidence comes from a biased or unreliable source, it is best to either exclude that evidence from your speech or look elsewhere for confirmation. Just as the words of one person are more trustworthy than the words of another, so some printed sources are more reliable than others.
- Is the information fresh? Ideas and statistics should not be out of date. What was three years ago may not be true today. Your generally persuasive speech may be challenged by one inaccuracy. This should not be allowed!
- How does this information relate to the case? Make sure the evidence clearly supports your reasoning.
Persuasive Speech Principle # 4 - SUBMISSION OF INFORMATION AND FORMULATION OF OBJECTIVES WITH ORIENTATION ON THE INSTALLATION OF THE AUDIENCE
Attitude - these are persistent or prevailing feelings, negative or positive, associated with a particular issue, object or person. Usually, in words, people express such attitudes in the form of opinions. For example, the phrase: “ I think thatmemory developmentvery important for both daily life and professional activities»Is an opinion that expresses a person's positive attitude towards the development and maintenance of a good memory.
What would convince a person to believe first of all, you need to find out what positions he occupies. The more information you collect about him, the more chances you will have of making a correct assessment. The more experienced you are in audience analysis, the easier it will be to make your speech persuasive.
The attitudes of a person or a group of people (audience) can be distributed on a scale, from overtly hostile to extremely supportive.
Describe your audience as: having a negative attitude (people hold the exact opposite point of view); does not have a clear opinion on this matter (listeners are neutral, they have no information); positively disposed (listeners share this point of view).
The difference of opinion can be represented as follows: hostility, disagreement, restrained disagreement, neither for nor against, restrained favor, favor, exceptional favor.
- If the listeners completely and completely share your opinion, understand what you are talking about and agree with you in everything, then you need to adjust your goal and concentrate on a specific plan of action.
- If you think that your audience is lacking a definite opinion on your topic, set a goal to convince them to act by forming their opinion:
- If you believe that the audience does not have their point of view, because she is not informed, then your primary task is to give her sufficient information, to help her understand the essence of the matter, and only after that make convincing calls for action.
- If the audience in relation to the subject neutral, which means she is capable of objective reasoning and can perceive reasonable arguments. Then your strategy is to present the best arguments available and back them up with the best information.
- If you think that those who listen to you do not have a clear position, because the subject is deeply indifferent to them, you should direct all efforts to move them from this indifferent position. When speaking to such an audience, you should not focus their attention on information and use material that confirms the logical chain of your evidence, it is better to focus on motivation and address the needs of the audience.
- If you suspect that you disagree with you, your strategy should depend on whether the attitude is completely hostile or moderately negative:
- If you assume that a person is aggressive towards your goal, definitely, it is better to go from afar or set a not so global goal. It makes no sense to count on the persuasiveness of the speech and a complete revolution in attitude and behavior after the first conversation. First, you need to change your attitude a little, "plant a seed", make you think that your words have some kind of importance. And only later, when the idea to settle in a person's head and "take root", you can move on.
- If the person has a position of moderate disagreement, just give him your reasons, hoping that their weight will make him take your side. When talking with negative people, try to present the material clearly and objectively, so that slightly disagreeing people want to think about your proposal, and those who absolutely disagree, at least understand your point of view.
Persuasive Speech Principle # 5 - POWER OF MOTIVATION
Motivation, initiating and directing behavior, often arises from the application of incentives that have a certain value and significance.
The impact of an incentive is strongest when it is part of a meaningful goal and indicates a favorable ratio of rewards and costs. Imagine asking people to donate a few hours to a charity program. Most likely, the time you convince them to spend will be perceived not as a stimulating reward, but as a cost. How to convince people? You can present this charity work as a significant incentive that gives a reward. For example, you can make the public feel the importance of the cause, feel socially responsible, people with a sense of civic duty, feel like noble helpers. Always show that incentives and rewards outweigh costs.
Use incentives that match people's basic needs, they work better. One popular need theory is that people express a greater propensity to take action when the stimulus offered by the speaker can satisfy one of the listeners' important unmet needs.
Persuasive Speech Principle # 6 - CORRECT MANNER AND INTONATION OF SPEECH
Persuasiveness of speech and ability to persuade presupposes a rhythm-melodic structure of speech. The intonation of speech is made up of: sound strength, pitch, tempo, pauses and stresses.
Disadvantages of intonation:
- Monotony has a depressing effect even on a person who has the ability to listen and does not allow to perceive even very interesting and useful information.
- Too high a tone is annoying and unpleasant on the ear.
- A tone that is too low can call into question what you are saying and give away your disinterest.
Try to make your speech beautiful, expressive and emotionally rich with your voice. Fill your voice with optimistic notes. At the same time, a slightly slowed down, measured and calm tempo of speech is preferable. Take a clear pause between meaningful segments and at the end of a sentence. And pronounce the words inside the segment and small sentences as one long word, together.
It is never too late to start developing your voice and diction, but if you want to convince a person who knows you well, sometimes it is better to speak in your usual tone, without experimenting. Otherwise, your environment may think that you are not telling the truth, since you speak in an uncharacteristic tone for you.
Do not forget that the persuasiveness of speech and the ability to persuade also depends on a number of skills and abilities, and in particular on:
some ways manipulating people;
from eye contact with the audience, which not only helps to establish a connection with it and simplify the impact (read - "The Power of the Gaze"), but also allows you to understand how much you are understood and whether what you are saying is interesting;
from the ability to present yourself (in the event that you communicate with a stranger or unfamiliar person) and make the first impression;
from the ability to keep naturally - when talking, it is necessary to give the body a free and comfortable posture.
If you find an error, please select a piece of text and press Ctrl + Enter.
Quite often, the success of your business depends on the ability to convince the right person, to influence him so that he accepts your point of view. Unfortunately, the skills and abilities of how to convince people do not come to us "with mother's milk", this needs to be learned.
The belief itself is the ability to influence directly the consciousness of a person. The bottom line is that, through arguments, you first need to finish off agreement from the interlocutor, and then transform it into an attitude that matches your goal.
Every day we come across people who have a different point of view from ours. Our task is to convince them and transfer them to our side in order to achieve the set goal. This task is not an easy one, but it is quite feasible.
5 main rules
Respect human boundaries:
The ideal distance for conversation is 20-30 centimeters. Coming closer, you invade the intimate area, thereby irritating your opponent. You will not be able to convince such a person of something.
Use non-verbal communication.
They subconsciously position a person. But if they are used incorrectly or excessively, gestures can, on the contrary, be repulsive. Refuse during an important conversation from your arms crossed on your chest, keep them open, turning your palms towards the interlocutor. These gestures speak of your openness and sincerity.
Please contact by name.
The most pleasant word for every person is his name. A person seems to enjoy hearing how others pronounce him. Therefore, do not forget to call by name, and do it often enough (just do not overdo it).
Ask "open-ended questions".
They should start with the words: who, what, how, when. Such questions force us to give full detailed answers. The more a person speaks, the more relaxed and "approachable" he will be.
The rule of three yes.
If in the first three questions the person answered "yes", then the likelihood that he will agree to the fourth question doubles. Make sure that the decisive proposal is in the 4th place. This will increase the chances of a positive result.
There are many more ways to develop your persuasion skills. If you really want to achieve the result you want, go for it.
Persuasion methods
- Ask the other person about the time before you begin to persuade him. Thus, you will emphasize the importance and your respect for your opponent and his free time.
- Persuade in an unpredictable, beautiful and interesting way. Get interested in your speech. Psychologically, it is much more difficult to refuse an eloquent person. Remember to use courtesy words. Be sure to express your gratitude after achieving the set result.
- Remember your positive smile and your charisma. So people will listen to you, thinking little about the essence of the conversation and accepting your point of view. A good mood will always help you achieve your goal.
- Before you begin your persuasion, do something for the person. It will be more difficult for him to refuse you, since there will be a slight feeling of guilt and duty to you.
- Try not to be obvious in your persuasion. Let the person come up with the right thought.
- Try to build communication so that the person does not understand that you are persuading him to do something.
- Be mentally prepared for rejection. As practice shows, if we are calm about a negative answer, then more often we hear positive ones. Think about it, because from a negative decision of some person, even a very important one, the world will not cease to exist.
- Be honest. She is capable of disarming anyone. Sincerely admit that you just need to persuade the interlocutor for your own benefit. With such openness, many people agree and go to help a person.
- Know how to stop in time. Don't get annoying and boring. So it is practically impossible to achieve the goal.
Practically everyone should have the ability to convince people. At least in order to convince the husband to throw out the trash or to dissuade his wife from buying another expensive fur coat.
Now you know how to learn how to convince people. Try these methods in practice and see how they work.